I wish you could use drone attacks in everyday life. "Really? There was a paint-ball explosion on the pick-up truck of the plumber who messed up my sink? Is he okay? I hope no one was hurt."
2022-12-07 03:30:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Why does the Wicked Witch come from the west? For two of the screenwriters, it makes sense. Noel Langley was from Durban, South Africa. Edgar Allan Woolf was from New York City. But the third screenwriter, Florence Ryerson, was from Glendale, and director Victor Fleming was also a local--from La Canada in what is today Flintridge. And why does the Good Witch come from the north? Was there a Canadian ghostwriter? If Dorothy had gone straight north from Kansas, she would have ended up in Winnip...
2022-12-06 04:58:21 +0000 UTC View Post
People who obsess over trivia on the Internet are dangerous. Because the reason you obsess over small things is that you're trying to avoid the BIG THING.
2022-12-05 03:51:36 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Splatterday, Patreon Pals!
Tonight we have The Birds, featuring a super fun interview with the amazing Tippi Hedren. I’m hoping to have time to pieve this one together for you soon, but until then here are the time codes for ya.
Enjoy and have a kickass Saturday Night, fright fiends! 🤠🖤🖤
First segment: Before the flick
Second segment: (1:41) About 18:52 in at the dissolve from Melanie’s car pull...
2022-12-04 02:18:59 +0000 UTC View PostIt’s still Friday here in El Lay, so here’s a lil quickie for your Friday Fun fix. It’s another VCR Overnight/Iron Man Marathon/All Night Drive-In . (He called it different things at different times, but it was basically just the movies running without him really hosting them.) It’s short but sweet, and will hopefully help get your weekend started out right…Enjoy! 🥰🖤
2022-12-03 07:26:56 +0000 UTC View Post
When people say "I could care less," are they trying to screw with me? Is "I could care less" the opposite of "I couldn't care less," meaning they do care?
Or is it some wishy-washy middle-ground statement that means "There are levels of not caring that are infinitely greater than the one I'm experiencing right now, I just want you to know that my Caring Meter is not registering very high."
The third possibility would be that t...
2022-12-02 21:46:40 +0000 UTC View Post
One of the strangest things people say is "Violence is un-American. That's not what America is about."
America was born in violence, fought an actual war between the states, has had so much trouble with murder and other violent crimes that we have more people in prison than any other country, leads the world in serial killers and mass shootings, had a 120-year period where lynching went unpunished, and has in its history about 200 minor insurrections like t...
2022-12-02 04:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post(Outro: 3:37)
Happy Humpday, homies! Tonight we have the winner of the “Any Jerk Can Host Drive-In Theater” contest. I was always super curious about who won this, and she’s adorable! She does a great job holding her own with JB. We might might have to try this whole hypnotism thing on Last Drive-In sometime… 😉
Enjoy, and I hope you’re having a wonderful week, Patreon Pals! ❤️
2022-12-01 04:39:01 +0000 UTC View Post
The reason subscription-supported streaming doesn't work is that you're asking the viewer to make a decision about the content. He constantly has to ask himself, "Is this worth it?" He's constantly noticing how many shows suck. He's likely to end up unhappy with his deal.
The reason ad-supported streaming does work is that the viewer IS the content. He's being sold by the streaming service to the advertiser. He's essentially whored himself out. He's still noticin...
2022-11-30 02:19:43 +0000 UTC View PostThank you so much to everyone who joined me for my favorite (or tied for favorite…I can’t decide!! 😋) Christmas movie tonight! ❤️
As promised, here are the Drive-In Totals for ya, both in video form (live from our screening at The Music Box in Chicago last year) and written out fer ya. If these totals don’t entice you to watch it, nothing will! 😉🎅❤️❤️
We have:
41 dead bodies.
12 breasts.
1 dead dog.
Three motor vehicle c...
2022-11-27 02:44:23 +0000 UTC View PostAnd now here’s the thrilling conclusion of the ‘99 Halloween special, featuring JB’s showdown with the Nair Witch. 😉
Enjoy, and if you’re a Patron Saint don’t forget the Santa’s Slay watchalong at 8pm ET in the Discord. Definitely hope you can join us for some horrorday fun!
Here are the time codes for Part 2…Happy Splatterday, Patreon Pals! 🖤
Phantasm
Start the ...
First segment: Before the f...
2022-11-26 20:39:16 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Black Friday, Patreon Pals!
For an extra special Holiday edition of Friday Fun, here’s Part 1 of the ‘99 Halloween Special, featuring the “Nair Witch” storyline. I’ve been looking for a good copy of this since we started this lil’ venture, and I am so happy to finally get to share it with you!!
This whole ”Nair Witch” thing goes on for 2 more (awesome!!) movies, so I will post the epic conclusion for you tomorrow.
Here are the Part 1 Time Co...
2022-11-26 04:33:03 +0000 UTC View Post
I have a question for the people who lost $40 billion in cryptocurrency investments because some guy partyed with their money: Isn't the term "crypto" kind of a hint?
It reminds me of all the guys who lost their money investing in "junk bonds" in the eighties. Guys, excuse me, uh, "junk" is in the name.
“Crypto" sounds like a magician working a lounge in Reno....
2022-11-26 01:39:08 +0000 UTC View PostWe are both super grateful for all of you…Thanks for helping keep me off the streets! 🤪
2022-11-24 21:47:22 +0000 UTC View Post(Outro: 5:43)
Happy Thanksgiving Eve (to those who celebrate), Patreon Pals! In tonight’s ep JB talks about llama & ostrich investing and I kid you not he had this convo with me TODAY while we were just randomly chatting about how his trip home to Arkansas is going. I guess that’s a big thing there, along with falcon hunting. (Ask him to go into deets on that for ya sometime… 😋)
I hope you have a wonderful holiday (or just a great Thursday 😉), and if you’re...
2022-11-23 23:56:38 +0000 UTC View Post
For most of my life, people would get weepy and solemn on November 22nd, but we've finally reached the point where nobody gives a flip. If you wanna do something cool to commemorate the day, go to the Texas Theatre and watch a double feature of "Cry of Battle" and "War Is Hell," the same double feature Lee Harvey Oswald was watching when they arrested him there. They show it every year on this date that apparently no longer matters much.
2022-11-22 20:02:29 +0000 UTC View Post
Every murder victim in every true-crime show was a person who "lit up a room" while alive. Why doesn't anyone ever say, "Oh yeah, she was majorly annoying. Had a little yappy dog that drove me crazy. Talked too much. Borrowed money all the time"?
2022-11-21 21:54:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Okay, people, it's time to cue up Bob Dylan's "Masters of War," and not just for Russia. We need to hear it, too. Especially the last verse. We need to get grim on these people.
2022-11-21 01:26:31 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Splatterday, Patreon Pals! I’m currently sitting from row at AEW Full Gear so I need to pay attn,. I know it’s gonna be a late night, though, so I wanted to get this up for you before the madness really gets started.
Enjoy, & go tear the 🖤 outta this Saturday Night!
Start the…
First segment: Before the flick.
Second segment: About 13:39 in after the shot of the spaceship.
Third segm...
2022-11-20 01:08:16 +0000 UTC View Post
This Thanksgiving all you successful dudes should give thanks for luck. If more people recognized moments of luck in their bios, we wouldn't have so many entitled assholes.
2022-11-19 00:00:30 +0000 UTC View PostHere‘s a lil Friday Fun for ya, Patreon Pals! It starts out with a little feature on Nightmare on Elm Street 3 which was just too cute not to include!
Enjoy, and have a wonderful weekend!! ❤️
2022-11-18 23:53:55 +0000 UTC View Post(Bridge: 3:50, Outro: 8:58)
Happy Humpday, homies! Tonight we have JB showing off his sexy socks again. We also have 2 awesome flicks (love ANYTHING with Shannon Tweed & Jeffrey Combs, honestly 🥰).
Enjoy, and have an awesome rest of the week! ❤️
2022-11-17 03:28:19 +0000 UTC View Post
There was a meeting yesterday in Turkey between William J. Burns, the director of the CIA, and Sergei Naryshkin, the head of Russia's version of the CIA, where they talked about nuclear weapons. How do we know about this meeting? WHY do we know about this meeting? Aren't both of these guys supposed to operate in TOTAL SECRECY? Doesn't everybody want that meeting to be as secret as fucking possible so that they can be totally honest? Shouldn't they both be wearing fedoras and overcoats and mee...
2022-11-16 07:33:46 +0000 UTC View PostHere’s a quick lol Sunday Funday vid for ya from Sioux Falls. Thanks so much to everyone who came out to the show last night. We had a blast during our quick trip here, despite the ❄️! 😉🖤
2022-11-13 22:31:05 +0000 UTC View Post
The USA is playing Wales in the World Cup? Isn't that like England playing Arkansas?
2022-11-13 19:48:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Happy Splatterday, Patreon Pals! Tonight I present another cl-ass-sick ep where we’ve included the segments for ya! This movie is kinda hard to find, so I figured this would be the best way to share the Clint Howard goodness. (Big thanks to Ben for helping find the movie so we could piece it together.)
Enjoy, and I’ll see some of you at the Sioux Falls show in just a few! 🖤🖤
2022-11-12 22:58:41 +0000 UTC View Post
F(r)iendly reminder that JB will be leading an I Spit on Your Grave (and AEW Rampage 😋) watchalong tonight at 8p EST in the Discord.
Hope you can drop in & join us. If you need help navigating Discord, drop a comment & we’ll help you get it figured out. ❤️
I have a deep-seated fear of cheerful college students standing on the sidewalk with clipboards, telling you what a wonderful day they want you to have and do you have a spare minute to talk about the wounded puppies in Ukraine. Something in the rear lobe of my brain is saying, "There are no wounded puppies in Ukraine and these may be pod people from Venus." Cheerful well-scrubbed young people with clipboards set off all my Scientology/Moonie/Teens For Christ alarms. Which is why I lie to the...
2022-11-11 16:34:43 +0000 UTC View Post
Whatever happened to "in-line skating," better known as rollerblading, better known as "Did you see that video of the dude who got a permanent groin injury and busted his head open on the hand rail at the library?"
Whenever I see skaters on the street, they're using those four-wheel platform skates from Roller Derby days. I love the fifties, too, but come on, you can't go backwards after an entire generation pushes the envelope into permanent-brain-damage territory.
2022-11-10 18:57:31 +0000 UTC View Post(Outro: 5:30)
Tonight we have Fairy Tale, which I still really want to do as a watchalong sometime.
Alas, I couldn’t talk JB into it this month. He gave me super short notice this afternoon that he wants to do I Spit On Your Grave as our monthly watch with him, and he wants to do it THIS FRIDAY!!! So, if you’re a Patron Saint, and you’re free this Friday night at 8pm ET, join us in the Discord for a deep dive with Joe Bob. i also talked him into hanging out for AEW Ram...
2022-11-10 03:58:21 +0000 UTC View Post