brinyheart.

the fastest way to get better social skills (no joke)

experience. but where and why? how?

i'm not even going to waste your time on this one because it's so important, and often overlooked.

get out there! get a job in retail or hospitality, join a new club or team, go to a new cafe by yourself, go for a nice walk and have a chat with a stranger, don't be afraid to ask for things like directions or a to hold the camera.

challenge your anxious beliefs, your negative core beliefs. (also ...

'The Good Habit' - Early for Members

let me know what you think! this is the last of the big 4, the next video will take a little longer, but keep your eyes peeled!

how to remember to remember- and take things slower.

how to never run out of questions/things to say

another short crash course- how to fuel a conversation. lets start off by saying that i think you should have the self awareness and self respect to tell if someone isn't interested in speaking or is straight up just boring. yes, there are people who dwindle on their phone during a date, or who shut you down with answers less interesting than watching grass grow. "mhm, yep, not really" don't water a dead plant.

if you're listening like i've shown in the past, in a way t...

next time you buy something...

next time you buy a coffee, ask the barista how their day is going.

next time you walk past someone on a walk, say good morning.

next time you spot someone with shoes you genuinely like, let them know.

next time you're lost, ask for directions.

next time someone's in your way, just kindly apologise "could i just squeeze through"

next time you need an opinion while looking for a brand of yoghurt, ask.

just the little, light-hearted things...

<...

Group Interactions/'Fitting In' - Early for Members

an extra early one, i don't expect to upload this until friday/saturday. 

this video here is about fitting in with groups and actually enjoying yourself.

1. I realised that groups were far more chaotic that 1-on-1 interactions, and accepted it.

2. i adopted an active listening approach.

3. became a team player- making sure everyone was successful, not just me.

what kind of video do you want to see in the future?

in the future, i've considered doing street interviews too about related topics...

you're my paid members, so i'll ask you guys first! what do you struggle with or would like a video about?

suck at groups and parties?

a quick, mistake ridden post about struggling to fit in or have fun in groups/parties...

i'm working on a video about this topic. Here's a few things i learnt...

groups don't follow the normal rules of a 1-on-1 conversation. they're chaotic, and everyone wants to bring their ideas to a group of people. sometimes they cut each other off, sometimes it gets loud and heated. that's okay, it's in our nature. we're excited to share our ideas and feelings.

2024-07-30 00:16:52 +0000 UTC View Post

discord?

i've been thinking about a Discord server, or some other online community. it only makes sense for an interpersonal skills channel to have a place where people can connect.

i have a few concerns, however...

1. it may get out of hand (too big, losing meaning and respect)

2. it will become an approval contest.

i do not want it to be a place where people race to be liked like most communities i see, i want it to be a place of discussion, understanding, and learning. ...

Yes, it's coming! some screenshots of the refined, condensed 100 page document.

let me know what you think! it's on its way, and should be out later this week/early next week.

Active Listening Video - Early for members

Let me know what you think! What did or didn't you like about the video, maybe I can make some last minute changes before I release it tomorrow...

Thank you!

active listening - a short(ish) guide...

Here are some interesting questions:

Why should you listen to people?
How do you even do it?
Where and when should you prioritise listening?

*

Let's look at why... Why should you listen to people? 

Because people are fucking awesome and interesting... okay but for real-

I always knew it was the 'kind' thing to do, but, like many others, I didn't fully realise its true power...

Carl. R. Rogers, a psychologist and the ...

Who the 🦆 am I?

A while ago, I got sick of going to the shops to buy some bread and milk, and being comfortable with looking down at the floor and mumbling 'good, thanks' to the cashier. Not only was I disgusted by the fact that I did this as a grown adult, but also by the realisation that this behaviour is far too common and normalised.

I also got tired of the modern conversation meta.

No one knows how to understand someone else anymore, some don't even want to. They don't know how to strike up...

first post ever.