This is Suze

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Last night I had a dream I was being chased by the mafia. I, or we, in the dream, whoever we were, had outsmarted them, or so we thought.

I saw my friend walk into a dark bar. A dark outline of black coats told my brain to run. Running towards the staircase I was ensnared by a James Gandolfini looking guy with a smug smile on his face. A smile that said “You’re not getting away.”*

I knew I was going to die. Later in this dream I discover that rather than dying ...

Naked Retreat

Naked the Retreat, 2015 Gozo. 

This was the retreat that started my naked adventures, exploring vulnerability, transparency and authenticity. To be naked in body and word. 

Blending in

How far have we distanced ourselves from our nature? When did we start to believe the lie that our bodies were somehow perverse or naughty. How long have we cheated ourselves of freedom? 

Photo credit: Petra Crane

A whole new day!

A whole new day is dawning! Guess what happened to me yesterday? 

After posting my sad message to you here expressing how bad I was feeling, I went for a healing session and experienced Kambo (amazonian medicine from a frog!) here is a link to a video on YouTube to see what it's all about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeaVBZI4ak0

Don't try this at home folks!!!!!

NOW I FEEL LIKE A COMP...

Suze is sick

Patrons, I gotta get real with you. I haven't been feeling well for weeks. I made it through December, without taking more than a day off, and now every day I am not working is a day where I am trying to get well. CPTSD in terms of pain is emotional memory. The brain unfortunately can't tell the difference between physical and emotional pain so is sending survival signals out all the time and quite frankly I feel like I'm dying. 

I've been making Vlogs for you, but since I borrowed...

Change

Reflecting on what's in store for us this year. Taking time to feel into what we deserve. To show up for ourselves with gentleness and tenderness. To vow to protect ourself from unnecessary pain and protect ourselves the way we would have wanted to be loved.

Téton

Téton from Domestic Pleasure

Photo collaboration with Jamie Keys

In the sun

Looking back over 2019, over my past and feeling into how far I've come and how long I have needed to retreat to this island in the sun

Amour secret

Amour secret from Domestic Pleasure -exploring the erotic in the comfort of my home

Photographic collaboration with Jamie Keys

CPTSD

Dear Patrons,

I planned to Vlog tonight, but I am exhausted and I need to take some pressure off myself.

Yesterday was a good day, I went to Kundalini yoga in the evening. If you haven't experienced it before, it's a powerful yoga, where you repeats movements (kriyas) for 3 minutes each, it produces heat in the body and allows the body to work on different areas like the kidneys, liver etc. It's freezing here and Gozo is not equipped for winter, so any kind of heat is welcome!

You got this

My first and only tattoo which came to me in a dream. The dream was from God, and originally the vision I had was to tattoo this on the side of my hand, but on the day in Paris as I headed out to get my tattoo, I had a change of mind and decided to print this on the inside of my wrist. A message just for me. To remind myself of everything I had been through and survived.

Patrons I am launching a new $5 tier, to provide more value and content for those on the $20, $25 & $50 tiers. Yo...

London

A glimpse from my past in London. A snapshot of one night in London where I was hired as a go-go dancer at an exclusive penthouse party, to dance and be body painted. Feels a million miles away from my life now. A life down the rabbit hole of city life, where one experience led to another and another, trying to make sense of it all.

Up close

It doesn't get much closer than this

Photography in cold December

The photographer was warm at least ;-)

Collaboration with Jamie Keys

Beach Suze

Carefree summer moments, where the sun takes care of all our problems

Photo credit: Petra Crane

Let me in

My tits look look hot cross buns ;-)

Collaboration with Jamie Keys

untitled

I will leave this untitled until you give it a name

I find this image dynamic. And I love exploring the privacy of kink in my home.

photoset from my collaboration with Jamie Keys

art as nothing come out as something

I love the way in this first image, the letters 's' and 't' are missing from the beginning of the word start, and so it says art as nothing come out as something.

This is very true of these images. We started with nothing but a location, a vague idea, formed from a long conversation the evening before. It came out as something. 

Images, telling a story, from the surroundings of this abandoned ruin of a former glorious...