MattMorgan

Saw NG Last Night

He’s obsessed with his new handbag. Takes it everywhere. I looked in it. it’s just full of toy farm animals and ketchup sachets. Really sad.

First Ten Episodes Compilation

A Clever Little Girl called Lewis compiled this trip down memory lane for us.

(Sorry for the flurry of activity, I've got the morning off)

Who Did This?

A friend spotted this in the book of condolence in that toy shop The Entertainer, pretty sure it's not the official book but come on guys.

PODCAST 105 - A New Normal

Everyone OK?

Shit Got Crazy

I had to rush back to Manchester, then come home as Katie's away for a couple of days.  I just finished work at gone 2AM and have to be up to do the school run and start work again then travel back to Manchester in the evening... I literally haven't had a chance to record a fart on a tape recorder let alone a podcast. This shoot is over in a month and I'll be free as a bird but I feel bad about the erratic delivery when people are paying so should I take a month off and not charge or sha...

Paddington

Imagine how jealous and ashamed I felt meeting Superman when I was Paddington Bear. Man, I felt like a freak in that outfit.

PODCAST 104 - Imagination Meets Reality

A plodcast just to reset and ease me back into the saddle. Had to take Nola to a pub garden and spray her down with a hose after this, I hope it affects you in a similar way.

(She was fine, I just got paranoid she was too hot)

I'M FUCKING BACK!

My Skin Daddy is Back!

And he’s taking me for a 2hr walk tomorrow. Sorry you feel neglected but it’s nothing to what I feel. Ask the prick questions if you want.

UPDATE

Hang on just a bit longer I’ve been in a LIVING HELL.

Relative normality returns this coming week though and I’ll get to those remaining delicious voicenotes and edit what I recorded with my kids. I’ll make up the missed episodes I promise. Thanks for being patient.

PODCAST 103 - Undried Washing

More shambolic than usual. Still got plenty of your voice notes to go, I'll get to them all eventually...

Not long now, almost back to the usual, high production values and big name guests.

X

I haven’t forgot y’all

Send us some voice messages on the old answerphone. Mad as you like. I’ll do a show over the weekend. Normality is in sight. Merch is in sight. A live podcast is in sight.

adviceneeded@icloud.com

Random pics from my phone. Me trying to buy shades online. Me as a kid. Me with my sisters. Me after my little sister sprayed my beard with ‘root covering’ spray. My kids’ dirty handprints on the window in a full moon. Nola asleep with me (forgive the undecorated room)...

Hazey Steps Up

I am a little boy trapped in a well. Bear with me for a week or so until the shoot starts on this show I'm doing. Then it all becomes the director's problem and I can stand at the back, occasionally looking up to tut and/or sigh while looking at my phone, picking out my awards show dress.

So in the meantime, here's a little video made by the sexy little wildman. Only using footage from 'ferns' not 'ger-prers' about three gentlemen and their trip to the countryside.

PS - The shoot ...

My German Doppelgänger

(Thanks to Maria)

PODCAST 102 - Voicenotes 2 - The New Batch

Community

Look it up.

PODCAST 101 - Nico Returns: A Seek Mental Health Special

Rising like Lazarus and also a Phoenix, from his grave/the flames - it's Nico Tatarowixzc2&?

Hear how he forgot the recipe for a cup of tea, marvel at his valiant escape from an incontinent mouse, watch in awe as I fix his psyche with the half-remembered thing about Aboriginal Australians that I always wheel out in these kind of chats, try not to frown at his insistence on using problematic accents while his comedy brain recalibrates after his wilderness period.

Send Nudes, I mean Voicenotes

I had Covid in a 40° heatwave whilst writing a TV show and decorating our living room, then developed vertigo so bad I had to hold onto furniture just to cross the room. So all you lot thinking I’m some kind of PUUUUUSSSSSSAAAAYYYYY have been well and truly silenced by my brave struggle, from which I have heroically returned.

Yes, I’m back. So send me more questions, rants, songs, whispered threats, recipes, ASMR- whatever you want as voicenotes and be part of the show again. Youâ...

Thoughts and Prayers

Guess who’s back?

PODCAST 100 - WE MADE IT

X

Update

Just cos lots of you are asking.

I’m fine.

Show 100 out next week as soon as I’m ready to put the clown make-up back on. Keep the voicenotes coming.

Look Who’s Back

Eye-bags, gone.

Single tit, gone.

Stomach, gone. (Not the actual organ)

Queen Elizabeth hairstyle, ok not gone but greatly reduced.

Podcast, soon.

THE CENTENARY SHOW

Genuinely can’t believe I’ve reached this milestone. Especially afflicted as I have been with ADHD, Freiberg’s disease, multiple Covid false-alarms, actual Covid once, tinnitus, BO in one armpit and ongoing really bad hayfever.

I haven’t done it alone though of course. My regular and not so regular guests have been the wind beneath my wings but also you, my dear Patrons have provided just as much lift.

So, why not be part of show 100 by sending me mainly questions but stat...

PODCAST 98 - Jemma

None of this is normal, even the duration.

(Pic is me, Rick and Dagger. Taken by Jemma)

New Guest Alert

Tomorrow night I am recording with Jemma, who I started dating when my bedroom looked like this. Find out why on Earth she stuck around for 4 years.

She used to work with Tim and Rick! She knew Rich! She was there when I got my head split open with the fat end of a snooker cue and witnessed me demanding a wheelchair in A&E. She’s got plenty of stories, she’s even worryingly made a list… but feel free to ask some questions.

PODCAST 97 - Lie Agency Part 2

I tried to avoid gaslighting, cheating and 'toxic' lying on this one. I also barely mentioned dementia. Thanks for all your input anyway!

(If this is shit I blame the fact that it was 30degrees  in my office cos I had to keep the windows shut for sound reasons, and that's the truth!)

Nico and Noel will be back soon. Also some new guests!

More Lies?

Send me some more situations to lie my way out of. True or imaginary. Very specific or more general. I will try and avoid using dementia on all of them. Make them hard. Come on John Barr test me! Step up Paul Brazil! Try and understand the assignment Rachael Gillies!

Send them to adviceneeded@icloud.com

Feel free to send them as voicenotes too!

PODCAST 96 - The Lie Agency

I think I may have overestimated my ability to come up with convincing lies for a range of wild scenarios. But see what you think.

If you're wondering what hairstyling product I used in the photo, it is seagull shit.

X

Podcast out later today

(Nanny did say last week that they’ll be out erratically for a few weeks due to deadlines at work. Still 4 a month of course, just not on a set day until things settle down. It won’t be a whole week til the next one don’t worry)

Anyway, my mate found this flyer on a bus seat.

The Lie Agency

I’m up against it this week with the old deadlines. So… why not help me out with a bit of content and send me some situations, either real or imaginary, to test my lying skills so I can make millions providing solid excuses to dodgy MPs or naughty vicars. Some serious, some silly.

Send them to adviceneeded@icloud.com

I’ll also tell you about going to Noel’s gig where two ridiculous things happened to me. One of which was witnessed by one of you.

Podcast out on Friday

At this difficult time can we just accept that podcasts can come out on any day please?

I’m talking to this fellow on Thursday night. He’s watching a TV show he liked and then suddenly hated.

Who is it and what is he watching? All will be revealed… on Friday. Cannot stress that enough. Friday.