MattMorgan

Live QnA tonight

At 21.15 UK time. Get involved. Hopefully it works!

PODCAST 51 - Daddy Cushion

I think I hit 50 (podcasts) and had a wobble. Now I've gone and over-shared a load of stuff to make up for being late. Absolute stream of consciousness drivel this, basically an Untold Stories episode mostly based around my years as a metropolitan singleton like one of the Sex in the City girls but with more cultural appropriation and food-poisoning... and a penis. Sorry and thank you.

Still in the hotel. Podcast will be out tomorrow.

Sorry! I tried to do it last night but I had technical issues and then fell asleep in my clothes. I’m back to the seaside tonight and back to normal. Thanks for your patience at this difficult time. Thoughts and prayers.

The wheels fell off last night.

I’ll record tonight. Sorry.

Flying Solo Tonight

Nanny’s staying at a hotel in London tonight. What do you want her to do?

I’ve started painting the bloody Orc!

PODCAST 49 - Milking Nico For All He's Worth

I wanted to kill Nico whilst editing this because he constantly banged his mic and kept getting quieter and louder but by the end my heart melted and I was reborn, as you will be.

(I reckon his new appendage was banging the mic so I shouldn't get too angry)

PODCAST 48 - The Pusssaaaayyy Returns

Hazey's back from his little 230 mile stroll, the mad bastard. I go off on one about UFOs, again. Plus- mushroom internet, clever ants, zero-gravity spa hotels and PTSD massages... it's all in here.

(The sheep thing I mention is called 'morphic resonance' and apparently happened in Australia but might be bollocks, like everything else mentioned in this shambles)

PODCAST 47 - Nico Owns a Fleshlight

I reckon. Dunno, see what you think. He might not, I just couldn't think of a title for this absolute mess. I cut out about 25 mins of me not being able to sing That's Entertainment in time with Nico playing it, I blame the delay on the line but who knows.

I was also quite drunk.

(Sorry I'm so behind on messages, I've had some truly lovely ones but I keep putting off replying and now they've built up into a doom mountain and I need to take a day off just to reply to everyone cos I...

Talking to this legend tonight. Give us some topics to ruminate ‘pon

(Also what question did I ask Nico that he responded to with this photo? How many inches long is your willy? How far apart do you wish your eyes are? Type stuff)

PODCAST 46 - Dog-sex Party Snacks

This week I am joined by author, journalist, orphan and dog-puncher Joel Golby. Google some of his journalisms and check out his book, it's good stuff.

When I ask Noel his opinion on pissing in the bath...

We know he doesn't have baths but he always has opinions. I can predict it going one of two ways. What do you reckon?

Talking to this badass tonight at 9pm

So get your questions in. Highest rated will rise to the top. I will probably forget that though and read them in order and only get four asked. You know how it goes. There’s a pandemic on and I’VE GOT ADHD! In case I haven’t mentioned it enough.

I’ll steer clear of UFO chat if I can. Can’t wait to hear his thoughts about me pissing in the bath though.

(Thanks for the pic whoever put it in the Discord)

PODCAST 44 - Simulation Theory and Clay

A solo podcast. Not the worst thing I've done with a creative medium whilst alone, as you'll learn.

Pics from Reading 96

And the reunion 20 years later.

First pic left to right- Tim with Rich on his shoulders, mystery person then John with Rick looking over his shoulder, then Mike, then Ian Rick's brother, then Jim, then Rich's girlfriend and then me. You can work the rest out! Rick is in the red and black Kurt Cobain jumper.

(Podcast was delayed by a certain rockstar changing dates around, so I'll be flying solo tonight- lemme know any questions xx)

PODCAST 43 - Rick and Gary's Wasted Youth

Me and my mate Rick. What a pair of idiots. Hope this isn't too indulgent but you guys asked for it!

I'll do a solo one next and deal with Noel's 5 tunes, the half-remembered stories from the old radio show and any other outstanding business.

I'm waaaay behind on messages so I'll try and catch up with them soon. Sorry. Love you guys.

Pics mentioned in last podcast

Nola’s big day out whoring herself around Whitstable. Also bonus image from Latvian stag-do. No whoring going on there. No money changed hands I can assure you.

How I woke up vs how I went to bed.

Hairdressers are back! Homeless Ian Beale has gone.

Nico’s Cadaverous Legs

And heating solution that would concern even the most jaded social-worker.

PODCAST 42 - Hairy Godmothers

Nico and I help with a small selection of your problems, and reveal quite how deep our own problems go. A fucking shambles from beginning to end.

We Can Fix You

As requested, me and Nico will give you advice on any topic. Keep it fairly light, and succinct and we will fix you like these old dear’s postures. Send all queries to adviceneeded@icloud.com

PODCAST 41 - Buckley's Late Night

Adorable James Buckley has a meandering chat way past his bedtime. We cover all sorts of topics most of which we are quite out of our depth on. All done with love though. Is 3 hours too long? Let me know.

Podcast out later today

Sorry. Wednesdays are the new Tuesdays, aren’t they? I spoke to James Buckley last night for a Joe Roganesque 3.5 hours! Now editing the bastard. (The podcast is the bastard, not James. Look at his little (big) face)

I’m on Cameo

I will do things on video for you. Within reason.

Threaten a neighbour, propose to a lover for you if you’re shy, say ‘pin-pin’ repeatedly to a friend in a coma, give you a little personal pep-talk, not eat a record-breaking number of bananas, call a beloved family friend a stupid fucking ugly pig-nosed bit of old cunt. The possibilities are endless.

Check out my Cameo profile: https://v.cameo.co...

Update on things and stuff

I’m restarting Instagram, as mentioned on’t podcast. I will cut clips of podcasts, post them and tag the shit out of them to try and get new patrons. We will always be the core originals though, the beloved early-adopter weirdos before all the bigger boys turned up. If they do turn up.

Noel’s 5 Tunes have been coming through thick and fast. We’ve been throwing songs at each other willy-nilly like we’re fighting over the aux cable at a party that should’ve ended two hours ag...

PODCAST 40 - Why Are We Waiting?

Nico, the most cautious train-traveller in Britain, is back.

Fortieth podcast! Life begins at forty so this podcast can only go from strength to strength now just like human beings after forty. Choo-choo and into the future with our cycling helmets, Covid masks and sunglasses on cos the future's so bloody bright!

PODCAST 39 - A Baby's Dream

Just me answering your questions. Sorry it's late, I did one Monday but it was too depressing and weird and I went off on one about shrinking genitals and plummeting sperm counts due to plastic pollution. Listened back to it and realised this is meant to be a comedy podcast and started again. Nanny wasn't in a good place. Fine now dear. All fine now. Yes, absolutely fine. Thank you. Urine? no, that's just sweat. I feel happy, I think I'll go for a walk. Give us three rings when you get home. ...

My Skin-Daddy is Flying Solo Next Podcast. Give Him Some Topics and Questions.

Listen to the fur-child.

Nico is on Eastenders tonight!

Let’s all watch it and shout ‘seek mental health’ at the telly.

PODCAST 37 - A Lovely Old Chat with Susannah Fielding

Star of This Time with Alan Partridge, the lovely Susannah Fielding. We go right around the houses here. 

These are getting longer aren't they?