zandravandra

10 years

I came out 10 years ago today.

Everything else was done; I was on hormones, my marriage was over, I had come out to my immediate family and friends... all that was left was the public part. I was so nervous, so excited, so scared. But I was in motion, so there was no stopping, no going back. And incredibly, impossibly, I kept going.

I'm really grateful I had help. <3

I still can't believe it's been ten years already. If you'd asked me back then, I would've had no...

June Update: Birthday

Hey hi folks! I'm still recovering from burnout and getting a little better with each passing day. Getting more energy back, more ability to do things, more days out of the week when I feel functional. I'm doing my best to remind myself that I'm doing my best; it's a process.

Also, it's my birthday today! And my wife's birthday, too. <3 (we're going to do a stream this evening on my twitch channel)

I've ...

nothing less

I've had a lot of opportunities during recovery to look back and reflect on the lives I've led up to this point, as well as where I'm headed. When #makeaterriblecomicday came around a few days ago, I decided to put some of these thoughts and feelings into a few panels that mean a lot to me. Perhaps they'll mean something to you, too. <3

(cross-posted to my blog)

April Update: Recovery

Hey hi folks! Burnout is rough.

Back in 2015 I was hoping I'd never have to go through it again, and back in 2019 I thought well for sure I know how to avoid making that mistake twice... and now here we are. Thankfully my medical professional caught it early and I was able to stop and rest before it reached the Really Bad Stage That Requires Medical Treatment. I'm slowly returning to work, bit by bit.

I still have a lot of projects I want to bring to completion over the n...

The Monthly Billing Update

Hey hi folks! As discussed last month, my Patreon is finally being pushed over to monthly billing either next month or the month after. I double- and triple-checked with the Patreon staffer assigned to my case, and here's what this change means for you:

• If you're a current patron who signed up via the Patreon website, practically nothing will change. You'll still pay on the first of the month as always, it's just that at some point you'll start ...

  2025-04-29 20:01:31 +0000 UTC View Post

March 16th to March 29th

Hey hi folks! Happy trans day of visibility <3

This'll be my last biweekly update, as next month I'll be switching things over to monthly due to Patreon pretty much forcing that shift on everyone. The charges should come out to the same amount you pay every month, so hopefully there won't be a difference on your side of things—if there is, please get in touch with me! We'll work it out.

I was hoping to have more exciting news for the end of March than "a few more days of bed ...

March 2nd to March 15th

Hey hi folks! Apologies for the sporadic updates; as it turns out, one week of rest was not enough and I've been advised to make my sick leave a bit longer so I can fully recover. As my care provider put it, this is still a level of exhaustion I can recover from as long as I don't exhaust myself further. So I'm doing my best to rest. <3

I'm still writing when I have the energy for it—progress on the next chapter(s) of Her Majesty The Prince is going better th...

Trans Lifeline Charity Stream on Thursday!

hey hi I'm going to do a stream for the Trans Lifeline charity marathon this Thursday at 8PM Eastern - and it just so happens to be on the 10th anniversary of my decision to transition!

you can check out the campaign here:
https://tiltify.com/@zandravandra/zandra-tdovandra-2025

and see the stream here when I go live:
2025-03-26 22:08:47 +0000 UTC View Post

February 16th to March 1st

Hey hi folks. <3 Writing a quick catch-update as I prepare to switch supporter billing over to monthly in April (as Patreon is pretty much requiring everyone to do so if they aren't already). In case you missed my first post about it a while back, I'll do everything I can so it doesn't affect your support level at the end of the month (2$ a month instead of 2 x 1$, for example). I'll be sure to keep you all posted.

I am currently in a strange mix of "most creative I have been in rece...

4 Weeks of Wigs 2025

Did you know I used to change my hair almost every day?

As someone dealing with hair loss, finding a good synthetic wig was an important step in my preparations to publicly transition. And once I moved to the big city where it was more socially acceptable to have colorful hair, I went a little bit wild with it! Whenever I went to a convention, I'd bring several wigs so I could have a completely different style every single day.

Pandemic lockdown put a stop to that, unfortunately. ...

February 2nd to February 15th

Hey hi folks! Another catch-up update (catch-update). I'm still juggling a ton of stuff but I am making headway! Turns out writing without worrying about what you're writing is a skill that has to be honed and regularly practiced, so now that I've realized I'd been slipping into old overthinking habits I am actively correcting that.

Losing cohost has meant a lot less spur of the moment writing, which I really miss! So as I go over all the smaller-scale writing I did on tha...

January 19th to February 1st

Hey hi folks! Apologies for the lack of updates; I've been focusing on work and when I looked up, the month was almost over. Every year I try to prepare for just how difficult February and March are for my seasonal depression, and every year it ends up hitting me harder than I expect. At least I'm realizing this halfway through it this time, which is a small blessing.

As Patreon is forcing me to change to monthly billing, it also means these updates will have to change along with them (...

January 5th to January 18th

Hey hi folks! Life keeps piling on the unforeseen events but I'm still doing my best to keep at it. I've been able to finally get around to a lot of the small creative tasks I've been putting off for a long time and it feels good to finally cross things off the list.

On the streaming front, I'm starting to see if I can make "streaming with someone else, possibly on Thursdays" a thing; I already had a successful team stream of Emberward with Flashman85 of Mega Man fangame fame, and there...

December 22nd to January 4th

Hey hi folks! I could've sworn I'd written this update, whoops!

I hope you all had pleasant holidays! I took my semi-yearly week-long staycation watching Games Done Quick (and posting my out of context thread on both Mastodon and Bluesky), which really served to drive home the fact that I should be...

Gathering suggestions for my 2024 Year in Review stream!

Hey hi folks, happy new year! As I get my annual stream together where I spend one (1) entire evening looking back on the previous year's streams and sharing favorite moments, I'd like your input!

Twitch

If you have any 2024 clips from my stream you'd like to share, post the URLs here in the comments or send them to me at 2024@zandravandra.com and I'll be sure to get to them during the stream! ^^

You...

Vending IV

(I wrote this almost two years ago as a reward for a backer and completely forgot about it in the tumultuous times afterwards. In the spirit of making sure I start 2025 off on the right foot, I figured this was a good opportunity to share it with you all. Thank you for helping me keep writing, and thank you for reading! <3)

The tall girl crouched in front of the old vending machine, leaning closer to the glass. With the hood fully drawn over her head, it was enough to...

December 8th to December 21st

Hey hi folks! Happy holidays! <3

I continue to be hard at work on the same ongoing projects, though I've been doing my best to balance that out with some rest and some holiday streams. Speaking of which, the next one will be tomorrow—I'll be doing a New Year's Eve stream with my wife and we'll be playing a bunch of games as we ring in the new year! Feel free to drop by and say hi. ^^

I've got a lot on my plate for the new year but I'm more hopeful now th...

Holiday stream Friday (tomorrow!)

hey hi the wife and I are going to be putting together a ~special holiday stream~ tomorrow! there will be:

• retro games on the Everything Machine

• various merry shenanigans

• cozy vibes

• a Stream Surprise??

the stream should begin at around 7PM EASTERN on my 2024-12-27 04:10:54 +0000 UTC View Post

Her Majesty The Prince from the perspective of animals

(from my desk this morning as I warmed up to start writing)

I regularly think about this comic strip from Jake Likes Onions and then one thing led to another and the Her Majesty The Prince version just leapt out of...

November 24th to December 7th

Hey hi folks! A quick update since I'm playing catch-up with updates again. It's been a busy time in the mouse nook! (the partially enclosed offshoot of our hallway that I use as an office)

Work on Her Majesty The Prince chapter 30 continues after making it past a pretty tricky writing block. The end of Act II looms closer and closer, as well as my plans for how to tackle Act III. I'm also working on several other writing projects, including a short story I've been wanting to write for ...

Streaming some Mega Man for the Trans Lifeline "Twitch For Good" Streamathon tonight!

Hey hi! I'm streaming some MEGA MAN FACETANK SHUFFLER for the Trans Lifeline Twitch For Good streamathon for the next few hours! If that sounds like your jam, come on by and hang out! ^^

https://www.twitch.tv/zandravandra

Zandrabot MAGMML3 Costume Reveal!

SHE’S IN THE GAME! After a long build-up, Zandrabot’s custom costume for Make A Good Mega Man Level 3 is finally here!

I’ll add her to the official MAGMML wiki custom costume page once I’ve finished ironing out the last few rough spots (and added more custom sound effects) but for now...

You can 2024-12-03 22:39:17 +0000 UTC View Post

November 10th to November 23rd

Hey hi folks! We're in the last 6 hours of the Trans Fiction Bundle 2024! If you've been wanting to read a bunch of queer fiction (some sweet, some spicy) from a bunch of people I hold dear, now's a great time. ^^

The stream thing I had been planning for yesterday has been delayed, so if you're interested in seeing what the new and updated Zandrabot costume looks like in Make A Good Mega Man Level 3...

The Trans Fiction Bundle 2024 is live!

After four long years, it's time for a new bundle of queer stories by trans writers! Five friends and I have pooled together some of our novels and short story collections to bring you a nice selection of sweet-to-spicy works! It'll be live for a limited time, so go check...

October 27th to November 9th

Hey hi folks! I've just come back from an impromptu vacation and while I'm still tired, it was really invigorating to change my environment for a little bit. I took a lot of pictures (I've been taking more of those lately) and I'm hoping to share those over on my blog in a little travelogue soon.

That aside, most of my efforts over the past few weeks have been focused on something I've been wanting to do for a l...

October 13th to October 26th

Hey hi folks! Happy Halloween; the wife and I just handed out candy to the neighborhood kids and it was really nice. <3 I think it's the first time I've ever experienced that side of it.

Things continue to be stressful and exhausting and I wish they wouldn't! I've got so many cool things I want to get done!! In the meantime though, I'm still hard at work on things that are getting really, really close to making their way to the public; something for the streaming side, and something ...

September 29th to October 12th

Hey hi folks! Things are still very busy at the mothmouse homehouse but I'm doing my best to keep everything rolling along. I've been able to get some evening streams going, which is something I've been hoping to have enough energy for, so that's good!

After a bit of a creative drought I'm also back into a solidly inspired headspace when it comes to writing so that's been very motivating. Progress on chapter 30 of Her Majesty The Prince (the second to last chapter of Act II) continues! ...

I have a new blog!

Hey hi folks! I've finally caught up enough with my day-to-day following the trials of September to share some more positive news with you all. The closing of cohost came as a real blow to me, as it had been my main online home for the last couple years, not to mention one of the rare (if not only) social media places I found comforting to exist in. So I've been hard at work (when I haven't been recovering from being very sick) and I've got some things to show for it!

First up: I have ...

2024-10-08 20:39:43 +0000 UTC View Post

September 15th to September 28th

Hey hi folks! I've been so caught up with moving a big chunk of my online life and writing the latest chapter (not to mention covid recovery) that I missed an update. Hopefully it'll still go through on the Patreon side! If not, I'll figure it out.

Thanks for your support as always; it's been a tumultuous time, and I'm really grateful that you're here. Let's keep making wonderful things together.💙

Her Majesty The Prince XXIX

The princess walked a lonely path, shadow stret