crackermilk

Why We Fired Elias | UNCUT Podcast

Enjoy the latest episode of our podcast UNCUT. We hope you guys are enjoying our new release schedule. 

POV: you lied on your job application | Bloopers

Enjoy another great rendition of Chris in a dog suit talking about his bowel movements. This was actually the very first dog skit we shot.

Enjoy!

This is fine | Bloopers

It is exremely unsettling watching this man make those sounds repeatedly. Truly unreal. Enjoy the bloopers! 

We talk about his brain injury | UNCUT

Here's the uncut version of episode 7 of our new 'We Make Your Ideas' series. Be sure to let us know what you guys think of these longer cuts of our podcast! 

When her parents are asleep next door | bloopers

It's true, Gabby's not lying about the push-up bra.

Pineapple On Pizza | FULL SONG

Here's the full song from the latest video. Our sound guy secretly asked a good friend of his to make this and sent it one night. We had no idea he was going to do this and thank God he did because it totally makes the video. 

We choke him for your entertainment | UNCUT

Man a lot of these were FUCKED. Please strap in before watching. Hope you enjoy this longer cut a few hours earlier than youtube!!!

Which was your fave?

When your dog hates other dogs | bloopers

We were happy to CGI this video, but dad insisted on wearing the costume.

I think it's because he loves kicking dogs.

Love Language | bloopers

Watch Connor get karate kicked by Gabasaurus Rex (let me know what you think of this nickname for Gabby).

You have to see his new haircut | UNCUT

Okay seriously, genuinely, none of us had ANY idea that Elias was doing this. He wore a beanie ALL day and we made jokes about him having stuff under there and turns out he had a bald fucking head HAHAHAHA. Keep this in mind when you see our reactions lmao

Our fans choose our ideas | UNCUT

This video is VERY hot -- *TRY NOT TO CUM CHALLENGE* If you made it through the whole vid, comment below "I didn't cum!" for a coool prize.

Hope you guys are enjoying the podcasts being back!

Why mimes are an endangered species | behind the scenes

Guys, PLEASE be careful around staircases, elevators, and Johnny Depp.

Turning your comments into ideas | UNCUT

40 minutes of straight fire, or fucked improvised chaos? You decide.

When she squirts | bloopers

Please never show this to any of our parents

How Texas police deal with shootings | bloopers

her eyes were so bloodshot by the end of the shoot lol. 

hope you guys are enjoying these bloopies

We got engaged! | Bloopers

Hey kiddos, please enjoy this week's bit of Patreon filth. This smut is full of Connor crying like a little baby while his eyes burn in the sun and dad looking fucking MENACING

We ran away to be together | EXTRA LONG and UNCUT

You like VLOGS?? How about LONGER than the tripe we put onto YOUTUBE? That’s right, this has all the good stuff. All the reaaaal meat and veg that youtube won’t allow (they censor so fucking much). 

Let us know what you think about content like this!

The fastest way to ruin a date | bloopers

Legend has it, Elias' throat still hasn't recovered.

The new vid was so funny to film. Hope you enjoy these silly bloopies. It's like you were there!

r/twosentencehorror BTS

This was a jam-packed day. We shot SIX separate sketches in one day for the r/twosentencehorror video. Join us on the journey we had that day by peepin' these pics -- as usual, captioned with context.

PATREON SPECIAL - Tripping at a music festival

Connor, Goob, and Elias fuck around at a music/arts festival for three days. Enjoy!

Here is an unreleased vlog that we were commissioned to make, but never got paid for so it never got released... UNTIL NOW (we weren't paid, but we just wanted to release it somewhere). 

This video also serves as a sort of pilot for trying out a new style of content. Like it's a vlog, but it's also heavily directed and stylistic. Something you might see more of in the future...

EARLY ACCESS - Basically a David Dobrik video

Here's a special treat for you - this week's video 3 days early! Let us know what you think !! Bonus points if you comment on the video to confuse the normies when they see it on Wednesday night.

Also, please don't share this link with non-patrons!

Kobe - Patreon BTS

Here's a glimpse behind the scenes of when we shot Kobe/Too Soon. My favourite bit is the trivial pursuit. As always, peep the images for captions that tell more of the story.

Helmet - Patreon BTS

YOOOO - if you liked the diary style of the Adelaide trip's captioned pics then you'll like this, too! 

Here's the behind the scenes for the sniper vid we shot a few weeks ago. I've added captions onto every photo, so have a read of the fun filming journey!

My First Prostate Exam | BLOOPERS

What a special treat! Here's a supercut of all the options we did for the final gag of the prostate exam video, with the crew's enjoyment included. Hope you enjoy xo

Adelaide trip to film with Bajo (Part 2)

YOOO here's part 2, baby! 

Here's a special look at the behind the scenes of the most recent video (Prostate Exam), as well as our nightly escapades and the trip back home.

Once again, I've added captions to all of the photos on this little  photo journey that have some added context/detail/anecdote. So if you enjoyed the diary feel of the last one, you'll hopefully like this one, too!

For those of you who don't know who Bajo is, he's a celebrity in the Australian ...

Adelaide trip to film with Bajo (Part 1)

YO! Last weekend we went to Adelaide to meet and film with Bajo. It was super sick.

We filmed two videos with him which you'll see in the coming weeks. 

Here is the first half of a kind of photo journey that I'd like to take you on. I've added captions to all of them, to give it a kind of diary feel where you get a bit of context and can follow along. Haven't tried a post like this before, so let me know what you think!

For those of you who don't know who Bajo is, he's ...

The Journey for Poo: A Poo Journey

It was just rolled up Snickers bars. Promise. 

Fucked photo dump

Bit of a mish mash for you this week. I don’t know if these ever saw the light of day before so here you go. Maybe it’s best they didn’t get uncovered?

Leech | BTS

This post contains:

- Lube

- Leeches

- Friends

- Goob trying and failing to ride a RipStik

Drafted BTS

There were MUCH worse images here that Elias wouldn’t let me post. Hopefully just the leaf on top is enough to satisfy you fiends.