"How did you find me?" Jack asked, as he disentangled himself from Alex's hug.
Normally, he would be absolutely fine with an extended hug from a handsome, brilliant man, but Alex was sort of a kid brother, and also, completely straight.
"Dude, you know that the bracers have cellular functionality, right? If you can have an app track down your kid's location via their cellphone, you don't think that I can't get your location down to what aisle you're in?" Alex shook his...
2024-10-13 21:54:35 +0000 UTC
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There were a great many things that Bob loved about magic. It was a source of endless fascination, half science and half art, especially when it came to ritual magic.
That was not to say that he particularly enjoyed the aches and pains that came from sitting still for hours while casting a systemless fivefold ritual.
With a groan, he stood up and stretched, rolling his neck.
"That was very impressive," Lily said from behind him.
He turned to face the&...
2024-10-08 02:18:32 +0000 UTC
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I'm back.
So, for the past few months, I've been unwell. If you really want the whole story, keep reading, or just scroll to the bottom for the one line TLDR.
Many years ago (about 18 or so), I was working on a shipping dock for a LTL freight carrier. It was the middle of July, and it was about 105 degrees Fahrenheit on the dock, and about 140 degrees in the trailers.
I was panting, and drenched with sweat as I leaned over a pallet of five gallon buck...
2024-10-08 02:16:14 +0000 UTC
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Bob knocked on the door frame to Kharvic's office, drawing the man's attention.
Kharvic stood up from behind his desk and motioned for Bob to take the seat across from him.
"Please, have a seat," Kharvic said, retaking his own.
Bob sat down and looked across the desk expectantly.
Kharvic tapped his desk, causing the surface, which was currently displaying documents or files, to clear and present as flat black. He looked at Bob for a moment before speaking. &...
2024-07-24 07:52:41 +0000 UTC
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Jessica looked at the vertical gardens thoughtfully.
The Lovar had made the best use of the space they had available, with what amounted to curtains that lowered from the ceiling, emitting UV light from both sides. The curtains were being raised now as the garden was leaving its 'day' cycle.
She had volunteered to design and install an array that would accelerate the growth of the plants while at the same time not draining the soil.
Array...
2024-07-16 06:02:43 +0000 UTC
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Bob was a fan of beef. Hell, he liked dairy products in general. Milk, cheese, yogurt, steak, roast, ribs, burgers, he'd even had tongue before, and it was pretty damn good.
He was not, he told himself, going to change his mind about the joys of moo, regardless of the horrors in front of him.
"It's like an endless herd!" Amanda laughed as Auruffra tore out the throat of another monster.
Bob had to agree. They'd backed up to the door and were arrayed in fron...
2024-06-25 00:36:11 +0000 UTC
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Bob looked around the now empty room, giving his ritual diagram a final inspection.
The two Lovar who had been left to watch over them, Mishkal and Thorumm, had helped them remove the remains of the shelving. Well, they'd mostly directed them to a smaller cargo bay where the team could drop them off, but that had been sufficient.
He knew he wasn't the best at reading non-verbal cues, but he was starting to get the impression that th...
2024-06-04 00:28:50 +0000 UTC
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System Notice: User has attempted to create a Dimensional Portal in a restricted area.
Checking for authorization.
'Robert Whitman,' User identification code 40816G1407N3210ISS3PM1IO unauthorized.
User has not attempted the tier ten evaluation, no sanctions applied.
Bob closed his eyes as he read the message again, counting down slowly from ten.
A...
2024-05-28 00:53:29 +0000 UTC
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Bob frowned as he followed Kharvic into the infirmary. There were hundreds of people, mostly Lovar but with a smattering of Shallihs laying or sitting on cots, mostly suffering in silence.
"I'll need to be in the center of the room and uninterrupted," Bob began. "While what I'm about to do is a System spell, it's not one I have, so I'll be casting it without the System's help. That means it will take longer, and it won'...
2024-05-21 00:04:29 +0000 UTC
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Kharvic had looked startled when they'd engaged their Return to the Beginning blessings, but Bob had no desire to crawl through doors and stoop through hallways, which they would have had to, given that the ceilings outside of the cargo bay where they had arrived were ten feet tall, give or take a few inches.
As they walked, he checked his quest, having noticed the notification of an update.
New Quest!
A large group of users sought...
2024-05-06 23:37:04 +0000 UTC
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Feeling well enough to write. Finally finished this chapter.
Kharvic stared at the massive figures that had appeared.
One of them had spoken Lovar, shouted, really, and had the form of a Lovar, albeit the ashen wings weren't normal, although it might have been part of their armor.
The other was a truly gargantuan feline, easily half again the size of the other figure, which was itself twice the size of a Lovar...
2024-04-09 00:48:30 +0000 UTC
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Bob stood on the hull of his Summoner's Retreat, his friends beside him, watching as the massive colony ship drew closer at what was now a glacial pace.
An hour earlier, a set of doors on the colony ship's hull had slid apart, revealing what was likely a docking bay of some sort. It wasn't large enough for the Summoner's Retreat to enter, but it would serve to provide them access to the ship.
Now that the ship was closer, he could see it in more d...
2024-04-02 00:47:39 +0000 UTC
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Bob stood up carefully, stretching slowly as he did so, his eyes focused on the eldritch glow of the ritual pattern covering the hull of the ship. With his mana sight active, he could see the energies that reached the hull, only to be reflected away, although a small portion of the energy that struck the shield was absorbed.
He cast his Flight spell, lifting himself off the hull as he began to move along it, intent on inspecting the ritual in its entirety. Assu...
2024-03-26 00:56:36 +0000 UTC
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Lilalyaslywain let out a quiet hiss of frustration as she felt her mana flow out of her body and into the spellform that would heal Captain Kharvic, her tail swishing in frustration.
She should have checked on him when she'd seen that he was on the list of those injured. None of the Lovar were really capable of taking care of themselves, but Captrain Kharvic was amongst the worst of them.
"Nose and eyes in the sky," she muttered, "not enough sense to realize he's hu...
2024-03-19 01:23:11 +0000 UTC
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Kharvic grimaced, gingerly touching his side. He could feel the wetness as blood soaked through the bandage, and then his uniform.
Luckily, the uniform was a dark crimson in color, and his console hid all but his upper chest from view, unless someone were to actually lean over the console.
Refocusing his eyes back on his console, he surreptitiously wiped his hand on his trousers before using the ball on the console to navigate through the screen.
It only took a moment ...
2024-03-12 00:09:23 +0000 UTC
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Bob didn't bother to towel off, instead wiping the water out of his eyes as he tapped out a message on his wristband.
Eddi, Wayna, Erick, Bailli, Harv, Elli, and Jack were on Thayland, so they were a lost cause. He addressed his message to Dave, Amanda, Jessica, and Mike.
'Just received a System request. I have ten minutes to accept it, at which point the System is going to teleport me somewhere. Meet up at my hotel room and I'll bring you along in my inventory, ...
2024-03-05 01:23:49 +0000 UTC
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"You know, I've never really considered myself a slacker," Larry said as he pulled racks of fabric out of thin air. "But you're the sort who could give a fellow insecurities."
"I could ask Yorrick if he has a free spot if you want to start grinding," Bob offered. "While we never talked about it, I'm pretty sure he'd be willing to work out a deal for you in exchange for your tailoring services."
Larry shuddered. "No, thank you," he shook his head. "I've seen...
2024-02-27 01:33:16 +0000 UTC
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"Who's the most handsome kitty in the whole world?" Bob asked as he rubbed Monroe behind the ears.
There were times when Monroe wanted to cuddle up on his lap and be the snugglebum he'd been before tiering up had rendered that situation physically impossible. In those instances, Bob would free-cast the spell to reduce the super-sized floofer down to a more lap-appropriate size.
"Just the best kitty ever," Bob murmured, switching to rubbing under the chin, which clearly met w...
2024-02-20 01:23:14 +0000 UTC
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Bob looked at his dwindling pile of mana crystals and sighed. He had enough to tier up, but if he wanted to convert the environmental systems on the Freedom to run off a bank of mana crystals that would recharge from the circuit he'd created, he would need more than what he had.
Sadly, at the peak of tier eight, he really couldn't delve on Earth, not without causing problems. He could probably monopolize a Dungeon on Thayland, but Kellan had gone to quite a lot of e...
2024-02-13 02:07:33 +0000 UTC
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Bob wasn't entirely sure what Monroe was up to, but he was becoming suspicious.
The ball of emotions in the back of his mind that represented the super-sized floofers state of mind.
Full-happy-play.
It was the full feeling that had triggered his suspicions. It was a feeling that expressed complete and utter satiation, which wasn't something that the world's biggest and most handsome kitty should be feeling if he'd just cleaned out his trough.
Th...
2024-02-07 03:29:16 +0000 UTC
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Apologies everyone. My friend Jasper came up to keep me company and soak some of the Mom aggro, but unfortunately he brought me the gift of the plague. I was knocked on my ass ~hard~. Fever spiked high enough to give me that neat time dilation effect. That went on for three days. I'm mostly better, although still not at a 100%.
The good news is that Jasper does a great job of intercepting Mom when I'm writing, so having him up here will help me...
2023-12-25 19:27:26 +0000 UTC
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Bob rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly.
He had grown better when it came to dealing with people, but he still wasn't good at it, and he certainly didn't enjoy it.
"Not to be obstinate or deliberately obtuse, but who cares?" Bob asked.
He'd been 'invited' to attend a meeting of some United Nations council or another. It consisted of people from Australia, Great Britain, India, and the United States of America.
It had been convened immediately ...
2023-12-15 02:53:37 +0000 UTC
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Kellan flew through his gateway, a massive circle of braided flame, resplendent in gold, silver, platinum, red, orange, blue, and purple.
He had opened it a minute before, waiting to ensure that it was properly noticed and appreciated before he passed through it, soaring from the skies above Harbordeep to those above London.
The streets were crowded and grew even more so as people rushed out of buildings to stare up at his majestic form.
Kellan let out a burst of Vi'Radian F...
2023-12-10 04:32:35 +0000 UTC
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Friendly reminder: Jahx likes Australia. Jahx likes Australians. Jahx doesn't have any particular issues with the Australian government. My only real objection to living in Australia is that instead of a few apex predators I can easily avoid, they have hundreds of tiny things that I can't necessarily avoid that offer a hazard to my life and limb. Seriously, I can keep everything that's able to kill me out of my house. But I digress. I needed a gov...
2023-12-09 06:21:01 +0000 UTC
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The Spear of Destiny hung above Holy Terra, poised to fulfill humanity's inevitable domination of the multiverse.
Five kilometers long, it was designed to be fully self-sufficient when at fifty percent or greater capacity.
Jamal Cooper stood on the bridge, looking out over the ship. He wore his powered armor save for the helm, a deliberately considered statement of confidence in the Spear of Destiny's safety.
"Mr. Cooper, there are more than a few people who are asking...
2023-12-07 05:58:48 +0000 UTC
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Bob was in the zone. He could feel it.
He'd dropped his swarms of mosquitoes in favor of a pack of UtahRaptors. He wasn't facing off against tier ten monsters, so he didn't need the vicious damage.
He liked to think that he was directing his summons like a conductor guiding an orchestra, except his symphony was one of furious honks, screams of pain, and the wet, squelching sound of torn flesh. On second thought, it might not have been the most favorable of comparisons.
2023-12-03 03:27:41 +0000 UTC
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Bob sat in the ritual circle, wrapping the two rituals into a single pattern.
He could feel the mana flowing from the mana crystals, moving through his matrix and into the pattern, loops and whorls working together to tie the two effects together.
It took less than two minutes to complete, at which point the ritually summoned Jake, piloted by Trebor, let loose an earsplitting honk of fury.
Bob inspected the outcome of his ritual.
Jake was pushing eighteen feet at his s...
2023-12-02 04:40:56 +0000 UTC
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So, this was a big one. I thought it would be maybe half a chapter, just a blurb, but it sort of grew.
Alternate chapter title 'Yorrick's PSA'
"Do you remember where you were when you learned that the world was going to end? Maybe you didn't really believe it. How about the moment when the first System notification appeared, confirming that you had fifty days before the apocalypse?"
The screen faded from black to a view of a meadow, somewh...
2023-12-01 03:17:21 +0000 UTC
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I have a whole host of reasons for why I've been MIA, but ultimately they don't matter. I'm sorry to have failed everyone, for so long.
I'm going to be focusing on my Patreon until I have a healthy enough backlog, to the detriment of our RoyalRoad readers. I'll apologize to them once I'm confident of posting to RR again.
Bob grimaced as he went through his mental checklist.
Monroe had been fed and played with, perhaps to ...
2023-11-30 02:46:24 +0000 UTC
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Bob lifted another Tupperware tote from the stack and then sat down to begin casting the Spatial Expansion ritual.
He'd called Ralph's, and they'd promised to have his order filled in two days. They'd offered to deliver it, although they'd warned that it would cost a bit more, considering that what he'd ordered would take up several pallets. He'd declined, stating he would pick it up himself, which had led to his current project.
With his spellcasting value an...
2023-10-05 02:09:16 +0000 UTC
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