[I am a Table] Chapter 74
Daniel Newwyn posts
[Boon, Bounty & Bad Decisions] Chapter 47
This chapter will also be a part of Book 1 after some consideration. I'll add it before the Gravel final chapter.
2025-04-05 17:57:21 +0000 UTC View Post
[I am a Table] Chapter 56
Blorbo had no time to mourn the betrayal of the system, for he had already been hurled onto the wagon. The horse wheezed as Rob held the rein, and the wagon started moving. Their destination would be on the other side of town, toward the Barony of Luxden.
Lena kept her eyes on the road. “Are we sure this baron has something we need? I’d rather not have to interact with another snobby noble, if possible.”
“Oh, without a doubt,” Anders said. “Baron Luthor Luxden is...
2025-03-19 08:18:50 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 55
A warm, electric sensation spread through his wooden frame. Level Up.
[LEVEL UP!]
Blorbo has reached Level 4.
5 HP
1 MP
5 Attribute Points
YES! YES! It happened! Finally, he was getting somewhere! He could feel the power coursing through his grain, his glorious ascent as a piece of furniture with cosmic potential!
Time to come in and distribute my swee...
2025-03-17 22:07:32 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 54
Blorbo was unceremoniously dropped into the corner of Ducaz’s room like a mere piece of filth that needed to be shoved into the most out-of-the-way spot possible. Rob and Lena’s room had been cramped enough with just the two of them and Tabby, so of course, Anders wasn’t going to let a table take up any precious space in his own quarters.
As Blorbo sat in the dark corner, he couldn’t help but curse his existence. The golden icon, gleaming tauntingly in the corner o...
2025-03-16 18:40:09 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 53
With too little time left to head anywhere else and a wagon too big to move at night without suspicion, the only thing left to do was to find a place to stay the night. The party decided between two inns, The Squealing Snout and The Hogwash Inn, which were horrific names for an accommodation establishment, and finally decided to go to Hogwash.
They were greeted by an innkeeper named Harry Porker, a stocky man with a mustache that looked like it had been plucked straight from the back en...
2025-03-16 17:41:18 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 52
They found their way to Noka Merchant’s Guild Hall, a stone building with a golden coin over a crossed fork and knife emblazoned above the entrance, across from some huge tavern that seemed very popular amongst the locals. The sign above the establishment read The Gilded Hog, fitting for a town of wild boar fight rings, and even from across the street, the scent of roasted meat and drunk meathead was palpable.
Of all th...
2025-03-14 18:30:32 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 51
After a final detour so Lena could buy some honey nougat, they finally arrived at Nokia at sundown.
The entrance to the Township of Nokia was marked by a pair of towering stone gates grander than the simple terracotta in Iakesi could ever be. The surfaces of the gates etched with faded carvings of trade emblems and a guild sigil that looked like a boar. A heavy iron portcullis loomed overhead, its bars thick enough to stop a charging orc in its tracks. To the sides of the entrance stood...
2025-03-13 18:03:37 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 50
The grushkins scattered the moment they were outside, their stubby legs carrying them in different directions like spooked rodents. Lena, with Tabby on her hands, trudged toward the wagon first, rubbing at her wrists as she squinted against the light. Rob was right behind her.
Anders emerged last, and the look on his face and the way he walked triumphantly suggested he had pried loose something valuable.
Lena climbed onto the wagon, sighing as she dropped onto the seat. “That co...
2025-03-12 18:12:48 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 49
Blorbo sat idly inside the wagon, metaphorically slumped over in despair. The sounds from inside the hut were muffled by the thick wooden walls, leaving him with no entertainment whatsoever. No grushkins running around doing something stupid. No Ducaz trying to sell Anders a horse. Not even Lena loudly mispronouncing things and accidentally summoning divine candy-based abominations.
Just silence.
A stray breeze rustled through the trees, shifting the cloth covering the wagon just ...
2025-03-11 22:34:38 +0000 UTC View Post[I am a Table] Chapter 48
Sporchide let out a low, measured exhale and planted his spoon against the floor. “You fight well, wind-walker,” he again rumbled, but his voice was much more measured now. “If I fought harder, perhaps this hut would no longer be standing.”
Anders sniffed. “I’d say the same, but I have no reason to fight at full strength against an orc with a kitchenware obsession.”
Sporchide’s brow twitched, but he remained composed. “And yet, you acknowledge my strength. As do ...
2025-03-11 08:36:27 +0000 UTC View Post