[Esc] reality

⛥ February Download

My official last main videos and last mp3 downloads before the move! I am so excited and I hope you enjoy them ⛥

Why do you want to come to the USA?!

Now that I am leaving my "home country", I get a lot of questions about why I want to come to America when America is undoubtedly in shambles. So I made this video to tell you my situation, talk about my time in this apartment and escaping narcissistic abuse and the PTSD I suffered from thanks to that, talk about my experience growing up in Germany and why I'm excited to gtfo! Enjoy ♥

If you have any questions post them in the comments on the YouTube page, that's where I'll be most li...

⛥ Paranormal ⛥

Thank you for joining in and listening to my paranormal stories! Someday I'll have another collection of spooky stories to share with you, but probably not soon. Nonetheless, I'm looking forward to streaming for you from a different continent next month! 

Watch the Sunday stream here 

☽🎕𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖚𝖆𝖑 𝖇𝖆𝖙𝖍🎕☾ || centering

❧ no music version 

What is this! An aesthetically pleasing ritual bath?! Yes!

Y'all seemed to be a huge fan of my ritual bath for energy from last year. Contrary to the solar energy I've had the honor to provide last time, this one features intense eclipse energy. But do not fret! Some people nowadays seem so afraid of eclipses because of how chaotic the energy can be, yet it can be...

⛥February Q&A

Good morning! I hope you're all doing ok considering. I'm running on caffeine and snacks today but damn life needs to chill on the trauma triggers cause I am tired of dealing with severe psychological distress while moving. Just a part of life and golden opportunity to reevaluate if I should even exist or if all I do is cause people unnecessary pain with my inconvenient trauma. Maybe I need to chill on the obsidian elixir. Anybody else dealing with trigger after trigger this month? Oh, only e...

wake up gently - outtakes

the AUDACITY of this fridge to be doing its job!

𝓇𝑒𝒻𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

some inspiring photos for your viewing pleasure. I'm cleaning out my media today and found these gems that really tickle my aesthetic bone and thought I'd share them so you can feel what I feel when I look at them. they are free for personal use (obviously do not steal them). I live for photos like these that seem to have been taken in a liminal space. they really invite you to dream and make me all hopeful for capturing art like this in the future. imagine a dreamy video with that vibe! chee...

An Evening for My Valentine

Rediscovering video creation as an art form 

"Never make art out of obligation", as one of you guys put it - I was inspired to make this goth af profession of love by the man who awakens the poetry in me. The words came naturally, the rhythm flowing smooth as the currents of the ocean. The imagery revealed itself to me one by one and the sounds tempered tingles and magic into one transcendental soundscape that borders between physical ...

Sneak Peek

I'm not even gonna tell you what the next video is going to be. Y'all can guess. 😂

toss or keep?

⛥ my discord group picked the thumbnail ⛥

you have been blessed with quality entertainment once again! go through all my clothing with me and decide what to toss or keep. 

⛥ like if you laughed so I know you think I'm funny ⛥

⛥ January Download

Greetings! Apologies for the delay. Been busy. Here are your complementary mp3 downloads since the last download post. I hope they will continue to bring you tingles and cozy vibes! 

☽ release ☾

Spell is complete. So far I'm getting great results from it. For myself I chose to release everything that's holding me back from getting my life in order and living deliciously. Now I'm naturally gravitating towards processing the things I've been avoiding. Reading old comments that were too much for me to process at the time. Good and bad. Learning to deal with other people's projections and how to not let them define me. Self-expression comes easy now though I've grown distrustful and cho...

2021-02-03 15:40:30 +0000 UTC View Post

🌱 guess the asmr trigger🌼

Thank you for joining my mystery trigger game =D Sleep tight and dream of pinecones and brushes

watch part 1 here 

my standards are too damn high and I'm finally ready to admit it

I've been having serious sleep problems. Due to all of the appointments I keep having to center my life around at the moment, my body lost its wake-sleep cycle I've been training it to adhere to the past 4 years. With me having to either wake up early or stay up late to get moving preparations rolling, it's naturally trying to orient itself by the daylight hours while I'm desperately trying to get back to my regular nocturnal cycle, causing me to wake up early when I want to sleep in, get sle...

⛥ January Q&A

Good morning! It's a beautiful warm day today and by that I mean it's above freezing - which is a welcome change from the nonstop snow we've been getting where I live. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful the air smells. There's nothing more invigorating than the smell of water, wet soil and greenery. It's so refreshing I want to go for a walk in case it starts raining but I also want to air out the apartment in case someone smokes (which is why I can't leave - they're unpredictable a...

𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢

I don't know what to say. You hyped up this video like no other and I was surprised to see such enthusiastic responses to my sneak peek. I can only assume y'all need some comforting vibes in the mornings as much as I do. Though I don't watch my own ASMR, I have to sit through it at least once for quality control and I'm happy to say this video accomplished everything I had intended in such a short time. I mean, 18 minutes is not very long, especially compared to hour long spa videos. But I th...

𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢

A new video I'm working on. After much debating whether or not I need to re-record all the tracks for my TON singing video due to my apparent inability to sing a full song in the same key, I started working on a short-ish low-key video to help you wake up. What better way to set a relaxed mood for the day than to use ASMR first thing in the morning! My goal with this is to soften the transition between sleep and waking state as I relax your brain with extremely cozy triggers for 18 minutes be...

♂ so you wanna date [sun sign] ♀️

today's bonus video features some fun and humor. with all the complex demands of my other tasks and responsibilities, I find myself retreating into my comfort zone which is shitty zodiac content. try not to take anything I say in this video personally, I assure you I don't judge people by their zodiac signs, nor do I let my knowledge of astrology overshadow the fact that all humans are unique and complex individuals that can't be reduced to [sun sign]. this video is representative of some [su...

𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖞 𝖓𝖊𝖜 𝖞𝖊𝖆𝖗

A video about my goals for 2021 and what to expect in terms of content while I'm gearing up to move. Post your goals below so I can give you encouragement and validation 👍

⛥ December Q&A

Happy New Year! I sincerely hope this year will bring lots of blessings, growth, good fortune and opportunities for us all. I also hope that you were able to catch a break and recharge your batteries after the admittedly exhausting holiday season. I, for one, went into full hibernation mode last week. My first day back at work didn't go so well as I stressed out almost instantly and wasn't able to be productive so now I am working through the resistance and chaos all around me blocking my wor...

Sneak Peek!

I feel like I needed to use a different word but I couldn't find one. Because "sneak peek" implies there's something to look at, but instead, this time - it's something to listen to! I've gotten a few comments asking if I'd be doing another TON singing video and the time has finally come. I've spent a few nights recording a handful of songs to create another soft singing video. It was supposed to come out for Xmas but as per usual I ended up being super busy. Maybe next year it will be releva...

☽ 𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖚𝖆𝖑 𝖇𝖆𝖙𝖍 ☾ || blood

❧  no music 

Dark, yet sacred. Sanguine salvation. 

I will admit this is among the most self-serving videos I have ever done. The inspiration for it was derived from not wanting to waste precious props from my video 𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖙. I decided to throw them all in a beautiful, romantic, goth bath and build from there. Though I did have a fe...

🌲 therapeutic holiday crafting asmr 🌲 part 2

Live Update: part 2 today at 8PM Berlin time!

rewatch part one here 

Hello! I hope you're doing well and staying calm in all the holiday stress. With it being December, I scheduled this month's live stream earlier than normal as I didn't want to impose on your holiday plans. I support and encourage spending time with your loved ones as much as possible. But before the offici...

𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖙 outtakes

the long awaited outtakes! yes they are long but it was a long video. watch me struggle and improvise for a half hour straight in this behind the scenes! XD