[Esc] reality

🦂 autumn moods 🦂

I was going to make the fish their own set but they fit really well with the color scheme of these last nature scenery shots. mild apologies for the spam today, I work in bursts and want to free up brain space for other work. looking at these beautiful shots, I feel accomplished and I hope that these will tickle your aesthetic bone in a similar way. scorpio season may have come and passed, but the dark colors and intense emotions have a place in my heart year round. 

🌾 idyllic 🌾

photos that make you dream of peaceful days. many of us are denied the healing experience of a simple life spent in nature. I hope these pictures will spirit you away into a fantasy that can at least attempt to give you a similar experience. earthy, yet joyful colors meet glistening foliage and sun flares. the imagery is peace on earth. I'm working on one more, dark and moody set for when you just need to brood. which is me always. but even I need the healing sight of the sun occasionally. ho...

🍂 autumn scenes 🍂

first set of autumn photos that I just got around to editing. people really don't give missouri enough credit for photo ops. I hope these scenic photos will stand as proof that the midwest is a beautiful, magical place to dwell. the doe in the last scene was sassy. as I walked past pointing at her whole family with my zoom out, she came up stomping her little hooves like a good mama doe. the one before that didn't mind us. encounters with the wildlife here are some of my favorite things and I...

cat food donation 2021

why can't I hold all this cat food?! 

because it weighs more than me! since our last donation in september 2020 so many of you guys have joined that we ended up with over 55 pounds of wet food, 80 pounds of dry food and 40 bags of treats. we can't thank you guys enough for supporting not only us, but many cute furry babies this holiday season. the total of nearly $250 of cat food was dropped off at our local humane society at 3:15PM today. 

may all your kindness and char...

winter mini series

the sensory friendly fire was but a precursor for a mini series I've been planning for a while. as of a few days ago, I finally finished pre-recording all chapters to my satisfaction. fall asleep while listening to local tales, folklore and ghost stories. I will be reading to you from a book called Ozark Tales, one I had originally bought to acquaint myself with the area I now call my home. but the moment I finished the very first story in the book, I knew it would lend itself beautifully to ...

sensory friendly fire

ever wanted a cozy fire background but couldn't enjoy it because of loud pops, snaps and random noises? how would you like a gentler version of fire!

in this recording I manually removed every single loud and disruptive noise, leaving only gentle crackling and blazing for your sensory friendly enjoyment. 

but that's not all!

I also added solfeggio frequencies 285 and 396hz for safety and stability and subliminal messages all around those same topics. no other fire backg...

⛥ October download

greetings. here are all your mp3 downloads since the last download post! I'm very pleased I was able to reach a slightly higher level of productivity and hope to keep up the trend as I am extremely inspired and full of ideas. I hope you will enjoy these recordings on a regular basis and that they continue to bring you positive energy and calm. 

dark background music I listen to casually

I'm back in the ambiental game with dark witchy music hand selected from the audio library.  that's right, I listened to every dark track in the audio library so you don't have to! a whole bunch of them actually combined beautifully into a witchy background playlist for all kinds of activities including, e.g., reading spooky stories. I hope you enjoy the moody music I picked. 

but because I want all my videos to be extra special, I laced this one with extra special subliminal ...

⛥October Q&A⛥

everything is black and gold... or trying to be. I started decorating my altar yesterday but it's not really coming together yet. I also changed my hair to red and now I don't have a pendant that matches it which is the main way I coordinate my look. in a lot of ways, it feels like I may have jumped into change too soon and I find myself underprepared for a lot of things. except work. I never really feel prepared for work, even after getting into the groove of just always working on stuff. it...

⛥ Unexplained ⛥

thank you for joining :) it was fun reading spooky stories for you

watch wednesday's stream here 

a meditation to end your day

if you've been using my morning meditation to go to sleep rather than wake up, look no further! this one was actually made specifically for that purpose. in this meditation I guide you through a mindfulness/gratitude exercise I personally use to create peace of mind at the end of a day. 

the idea is simple. you process your thoughts and emotions at the end of the day = clear mind = sound sleep. that's why this video wants to be your evening ritual for emotional healing and refreshi...

a meditation to start your day

how would you like to have the most relaxing morning of your life? well, with this video, that can be every day! I wrote this meditation for people who hate mornings, to create a gentle transition from sleep to waking state while setting the tone of your day to be a relaxed, positive and empowered one. too often we just kinda roll out of bed and start doing things mindlessly and we wonder why we feel overwhelmed by life. by taking the time to focus our energy in the morning, we can begin to s...

which of these video topics are you generally interested in?

since starting my channel I have been continually creating asmr videos from the topics below. just wondering which ones y'all are actually interested in. tick all that apply :)

a set of meditations

I know I've been quiet so I wanted to let you know what I've been working on. I have been pre-planning/writing/filming for several videos, the two that are going to come out next are a set of meditations - one for the morning and one for the evening. I wrote them myself so you know they're gonna be good. spiritual summer may have got pushed into autumn but I hope you will still enjoy the beautiful videos I have in store. try not to judge them by their labels lol. the way I meditate is way mor...

⛥October Q&A⛥

Sorry for the short absence! I've been very absorbed in a new project and other creative endeavors. Post your questions here to your favorite green card holder. Last month's post is here. Have a great Spooktober!

⛥ September LiveChat ⛥

thank you for joining :)

watch Thursday's stream here 

🌞 summer in missouri 🌞

as summer is coming to an end, I want to commemorate this magical chapter of my life with a photo set. these are all photos I took this summer which I think capture the unique charm of my state. an hommage to my new home. 

so much of it is wild and untamed. down to earth, yet lively. fields of wild flowers and sunsets that drown the whole state. spirits dancing in the air and geese hanging out in a starbucks parking lot. I made beautiful memories here, met beautiful people and have...

⛥September Q&A⛥

It's a warm day in September. Something that virtually wouldn't happen in Germany, but here in Missouri, summer is struggling to let go. The other day I had my first pumpkin spice latte. It was from Scooters, imho the best pumpkin spice flavor. And now I'm excited for pumpkin season and all the delicious treats that come with it. But more than anything I'm excited for the beautiful photos and videos I will be taking. It makes me a little nervous because now that this is my job, I feel pressur...

goodwill is a fucking gold mine

I promise this video is more fun than it sounds. goodwill has blessed me with many nice things. this is a 20 minute video of me showing you all of them

do not take a shot for every time I say flouncy

long hard road out of hell

I don't blog as much as I used to. but after spending a day going back and tagging every single Patreon post to organize them into neat little categories (that you can browse and find stuff easier in), I learned a few things about where I've been which gave me perspective on where I'm going. 

ever since I've moved here I've been waiting for it to sink in. the fact that I left behind my old life, relinquished the hellscape that kept me prisoner all these years... I started something...

🌸 faerie dream 🌸

photos that would delight faeries

fields of flowers, thistles, butterflies, a quaint, blooming grotto, a happy earth. 

I've been editing some photos I took this summer since the cat decided she needed us both up at 5 in the morning and is now very cozy back in bed while I'm numbing myself with caffeine and fantasies of autumn days. I need to be planning my last two roleplays with green hair before I dye it red. sounds overwhelming but the hardest part is getting myself to foc...

makeup therapy

finally, my long awaited goth/emo/alt/dark makeup video is here! this video has given me so much shit. because the preview in my software is prone to lagging, the past half week has just been me rendering, uploading and rendering again, every time finding a bunch of sound effects 1-2 seconds off. now in the 4th attempt, I think I finally did a decent job. I didn't mean for this video to take so long, but I did pay a ton of attention to detail for what is basically a petty revenge video. (see ...

✨lakes✨

some of the dreamiest photos I've taken this summer to tickle your aesthetic bone. I hope these bring you as much joy and inspiration as they do me. they are free for personal use, as always I have to say do not sell them or claim them as your own. my day is complete now that I got to look at something beautiful. spot the fishies!