[Esc] reality

my life sucks lately

I'm posting this so others will have seen and responded and I'm less likely to suppress and forget it. 

I've gotten to the point where I have a pretty good idea what I need yet not the faintest clue how to go about it. The way my life is set up right now is just not a healthy environment. I feel isolated and cut off from everything. Especially with appointments in the morning, it throws my sleep schedule off so much that I couldn't do anything if I wanted. Last night I wanted to go...

🐱 Good Kitty Pampering - At Home Spa Facial 🐱

Get the Jack package in this loving, pampering video! I never make girlfriend videos anymore because people's demands make me feel like I'm only wanted when I pretend to be in love with someone. This video was actually made for someone I'm in love with so you get to experience being Jack and really being loved by me. While getting a spa facial at home from your favorite human ever, of course. The triggers are centered around personal attention, water, soap, spongy and foamy sounds aswell as scru...

life and flea markets

Must... refrain... from... editing all my photos Type O Negative style... 

Right now I'm having my morning coffee with milk and honey because it's been suddenly freezing cold. I woke up with a sore throat. I swear, summers here are like this old Katy Perry song... Yep, that's Germany. 

I'm trying to listen to my new video through my headphones while there's a screaming child outside b...

⛥June Download⛥

Good time to be a patron! Lol. You couldn't decide whether you wanted the Aromatherapy Massage or Energy Healing so have both plus a bonus download. 

The download isn't a huge project I have to prepare and film and put work in so I didn't see a point in making you pick again. Each came in at 11 votes so were by far the most popular videos from May. Put it on your phone or wherever and enjoy! 

Additionally, I have -upon request- taken the extra 10 minutes to mp3 an all time favo...

Would You Rather - Story Time

Thank you everyone for joining my stream! I had a lot of fun talking to you all and telling stories lol. Enjoy the recording and I hope you can make it to the next one!

Outtakes/Rambles - Anxiety Healing w/ Black Tourmaline

"Tell your patrons what you're working on" Idk I'm really down. But I made something to make you laugh and hopefully entertain you. I talk a lot. This is what happens to a person who lacks human contact. Cheers

//Ally

Anxiety Healing w/ Black Tourmaline

"Honestly, write anything -- your patrons will love it." Anything. 

Your patience has paid off and I finally managed to make another crystal healing video. I hope this meets your expectations if not exceeds them, for the raging winner in the last trigger poll. Sorry it took so long. I haven't had the motivation to clean any of my other crystals so I wanted to wait for these new ones, then the PO box was broken as it is half the time and I had to wait for like ever to get them and now this...

Summer Goth Chillin'

 Su-su-summer goth, summer goth chillin' - it's just a summer goth, summer goth chillin' ... I got my mesh top on tonight, I don't dance but I got sparklers to light. Hair as straight as my bitchy Virgo mom, my boots off - I regret that one...  

You'll see why at the end. If you can stay awake that long. If you liked my video Drinks By The River, you might like this one, too. It's almost exactly a year now since the...

🍃 Summer Storm 🍃

Edit: I forgot to set early access to this and then forgot to publish it.

I captured this beautiful storm last week because I'm all about storms and randomly hitting record when it rains just in case. Storms are my favorite part of summer. Finally, a much needed relief from the suffocating heat. Listen to the gentle rain pouring down on you without getting drenched. The energizing vibrations of the thunder, edited for your listening comfort, just like the rest of the recording. ...

work and calmness

It's a rainy night. Calm and tranquil. This other world I described in my video titled Sounds of the Night is sucking me in. It makes my heart long for permanence and I wish it could always be this peaceful - I... could always be this peaceful. But the day is harsh and people unforgiving. If only the night could last forever...

I had to take a little break from all the stress near the end of the month. I've been playing the Sims and taking care of awfully unpleasant things. Summertime has made...

⛥May Extras⛥ // Deep Fried Burgers

Thank you for picking Damn Good Food for your May bonus video! I hope you enjoy the recipe aswell as the humor. So happy to be caught up with my video responsibilities! Stay tuned for the June poll.

 ⛥ Shopping list for this recipe: 

10.5 oz ground beed + pork
1 small onion
1 medium egg
1/3 cup breadcrumbs
1/3 cup milk
1/2 generous tsp sea salt
freshly cracked pepper to taste
plenty of sunflower oil for frying 

I said med ...

🌸 Dream Garden Spa 🌸

"Now this is a story all about how..." Edit: Now fixed. Let me know if it's good now or if I need to make more changes. I'll keep the project files for a couple days at least. Enjoy!

Welcome to the Dream Garden Spa! Tonight you get to enjoy an evening of relaxation in a warm bath with a delicious fruity cocktail and gentle shoulder massage. Intense binaural tingles await! 

This soundscape was painstakingly hard to achieve. My overworked self ov...

Energy Healing // Powerful Stress Relief

"What're you thinking about?" How much pain I'm in, thanks for asking, Patreon. 

This video is calm comfort. Between the music, firm but gentle voice, flowing movements and personal attention - it's a truly soothing experience, and that's not even counting the energy healing aspect of it. I tried to continually talk throughout the video which at the very least makes me sleepy. The triggers featured in this treatment are mostly hand movements, soft speaking, smoke and burning sounds. I per...

🐱 Stress Less Coloring Cats 🐱

Worn out from a hectic week? Let's stay home, have a drink, lounge on the bed and color in some kitties! 

Obviously I'm back in my comfort zone with the makeup. Though I've clearly overloaded Jack with videos - I guess 4 in one week are a lot. It was a lot of work time, too, but I just really wanted to make another video this week. Problem was, I had no idea what. Turns out, when I narrow down the selections based on whatever takes the least amount of preparation, I'm at a loss. So I sat ...

Patron Live Chat

thank you for joining my very first livestream :)

A Basic ★Party For Two★ #9

This gives me an idea for a bonus video for next month. 

Anyway, after a long, hard battle between Libra, Gemini and even Cancer - finally, here is the Gemini reading you all were so excited for. Feat. the basic bitch makeup sponsored by viewers who enjoy seeing me suffer. This was very uncomfortable but I'll take just about any damn jobs I can get to save for the move and a better camera. Jack rates this video as very cute and funny. I hope it entertains and relaxes you equally. Stay tun...

⛥May Download⛥

I'm glad you liked The Gentlest Spa Massage video so much! Enjoy the mp3 download :)

I'll do my best to make as many videos as possible before the month is over to give you some good selections next month! 

Aromatherapy Massage

This was meant to be a short video, believe it or not. It seems to always take me a lot longer to do things than estimated - I'm sorry about that, unless you're already used to it, in which case thank you for putting up with my late delivery of promised things. I'm just so relieved I was finally able to execute a video, and a really nice one at that. That's what Jack said. I worked quite hard on the audio on Whitsunday, all while getting interrupted by stupid noisy people because it was a nation...

⛥May Q&A⛥

Where in the US are you moving?

Missouri. We like trees.

How's life?

An exhausting, moody mess. Thank the coffee farmers for keeping me alive lately.

What are your hopes and dreams?

Ok, this is going to be very, very basic. I feel like everytime you hear people talk about hopes and dreams it's something along the lines of "world peace" or "end animal suffering" or "a huge project that will totally change the world". My ...

longest, hardest week ever

This week (and the week before) I had all the appointments (not nearly done) and you know how that always fucks with my sleep schedule so I'm still recovering from the overwhelming stress, fatigue, sleep deprivation, emotional rollercoaster and ugh the yucky medical stuff. I've been unsuccessfully trying to work and I have 3 video ideas that I just have to find the time and energy for. 

At first I was pushing to do the mystery video but after that didn't work out TWICE, ...

terrible start to the day

I have an appointment at 4:15 today so I set an alarm for 1:30, giving myself time to snooze, get ready and get there in time. Turns out I didn't even need the alarm cutting right into my sleep time because my neighbors thought it was perfectly acceptable to slam their front door so hard it could break, repeatedly, at noon. So I went and looked at the video I filmed last night and I couldn't be more upset. The BDSM fixture for my microphone wasn't stable enough and kept hitting aga...

failed attempts

The past days I've recorded two videos and I hate both of them. For the mystery video I was not pleased with how incoherent it turned out and how short it was so I spontaneously decided it needs a map. I don't own a map and neither does anyone I know so I went and bought a map. I was gonna try again tonight but since it's a Friday night assholes don't go to sleep until like, now. Unfortunately, I don't feel well enough to act and coordinate a video tonight. So I guess I'm just writ...

Traffic Noise #1

"Why do you create?" That question always catches me off guard. It's one of the default samples at the beginning of any patreon post. I don't really know, I started out just looking for something to do with my time and boom there was a demand and now I'm trying to contribute to my family. We have a cat who is a very picky eater and I'm not talking about me. Things start for one reason and continue for another. 

I always really enjoyed creating ambience in particular and even though this v...

Thank you so much!

This month marks the first time I've been over my $666 goal. You may or may not have seen on my page that I already pledged to three wonderful individuals and I want to take my time to find three more. I wasn't able to find City of Dawn on patreon but maybe I can convince Damien to make a patreon so I can support him. It can be hard as an artist to get sufficient funding to be able to do what you like much less pay bills. I'm happy to make a contribution, however small, to people I know deserve ...

Astral Woods

Edit: Now fixed. Enjoy!

No ambience if you really only want half the experience.  

I asked Jack to give me an hour to post this and cook dinner so good luck to me cause I have a lot to say. 

I haven't moved the camera and microphone from the spot I left them in the last failed attempt. But I've made some changes. I decided the daylight setting wasn't realistic enough but I...

i can't go back to being a shell of myself i'm sorry

I tried.

Sorry, once again I'm not gonna make my arbitrary deadline. I really wanted to publish another video before the end of the month so I tried. Last night I was way too out of it. Tonight I filmed one and as per usual, I hate everything about it. You know I like my videos to be just right and this one was just all kinds of wrong. I decided to try something different and did my makeup to look like a fae - and ended up looking straight up exactly like another artist. 

2018-04-30 04:06:14 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gentlest Spa Massage

People have asked me forever and ever to talk softer. For some videos like bar roleplays it just doesn't make sense, cause what bartender in a busy club whispers in your ear? Lol. In this soft, gentle, soothing massage - it works. I wanted to focus on making the experience as gentle as possible for you. And I must say, the oily massage sounds give me involuntary tingles. It's NASMR. Non-autonomous. Relax to the sounds of having your whole body rubbed before nap time. Soft speaking and whispering...

★Party For Two★ #8

This was such a close tie. In the end, Scorpio won the match by just one vote and here's an 80 minute video dedicated just to Scorpios. Laced with various ASMR sounds and the ambient background of the highway at night, we can have a fun time hanging out and talking about astrology and random things. There will be another poll soon for the next one, not many signs left! Will Libra finally get justice? 

I hope you enjoy this extra long relaxation session. It's quite enterta...