The Long Walk Sucks
We Need to Talk About Charlie <3
2025-09-19 17:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
The Gay Boys™ – Movie Slob’s Brotherhood for the Cinematically Challenged posts
The Breakfast Club Sucks (Bender Rules)
The Breakfast Club isn’t a heartfelt coming-of-age story—it’s a con job.
2025-08-29 03:43:51 +0000 UTC View Post🍕 The Complete Movie Slob Video Archive
Here’s every Movie Slob video—linked, lethal, and too unhinged for YouTube. No scrolling, no mercy. Watch them all… then question every life choice that brought you here.
85. The Long Walk Sucks
84. The Breakfast Club Sucks (Bender Rules)
83. 2025-08-12 03:18:03 +0000 UTC
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"Superman Deserved Better"
This isn’t a review of Superman — it’s a review of me. - I'm done.
2025-07-21 01:14:29 +0000 UTC View Post28 YEARS LATER - Movie Review
Welcome Matheson returns with a quiet review of 28 Years Later, and a meditation on hunger, isolation, and loss.
2025-07-09 17:03:25 +0000 UTC View PostDROP – Movie Review
DROP is one of the weirdest thrillers I’ve ever seen — not because of what happens, but because of what doesn’t.
2025-07-09 16:07:29 +0000 UTC View PostSLOB vs. STAR WARS NERD (Limited Exclusive Complete Saga Uncut Remastered Special Edition)
Brace yourself for the FINAL CUT of the infamous 6-part Star Wars Debate absolutely no one wanted. Now in an all new easy to swallow, single pill video — featuring admitted liar Michael Sugarplum (see his actual confession here: https://youtu.be/YeOeRdqLkIY). Circa 2019.
May the discourse be with you.
👉 Watch the original 6 Part Star Wars Debate ➡️ 2025-06-27 23:24:01 +0000 UTC
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300 SUBS CONTEST DRAWING & HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT THING [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Movie Slob is giving away a bunch of awesome sh*t to one lucky subscriber. CONTEST CLOSED! :(
From the Movie Slob Archives: LIVESTREAM VODS – Originally uploaded 03/27/21
The Snyderverse Is Dead – But the Cult Lives On [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Hope will set you free.
The Snyderverse is dead.
But the cult lives on. (Bury it anyway.)
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 3.0 (PHASE II) – Originally uploaded 06/17/25
Snow White and the 7 Incels [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Disney accidentally unwoke a sleeping giant cesspool of "little people," who are all hellbent on being both the champions of free speech and crybaby cancel culture — all because a little girl made a joke at their expense. Heigh-ho… lets go!
🍎 This is Snow White and the 7 Incels.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 3.0 (PHASE II) – Originally uploaded 06/13/25
Revenge of the Sith: 20 Years Later [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Welcome is back with a vengeance in this 20th Anniversary breakdown of Revenge of the Sith. As Star Wars Derangement Syndrome reaches new heights, Movie Slob confronts personal fears, unexpected encounters, and the distractions pulling attention away from the real issues no one is talking about.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 3.0 (PHASE II) – Originally uploaded 05/06/25
Join The Gay Boys™ – Make History or Be Forgotten [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Heroes aren’t born, they’re forgotten. Don’t be forgotten. Welcome Mathewson invites you to become part of history—by joining The Gay Boys™. This is not a joke (unless it is). Membership comes with official documentation, lifelong status, and the satisfaction of knowing you’re part of something bigger than yourself. You don’t have to be brave—you just have to show up.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 3.0 (PHASE II) – Originally uploaded 03/04/25
The Brutalist Sucks [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
The Brutalist is a movie about Jewish trauma and the American Dream of making ugly things for people who don't care. Welcome breaks down why making a movie about the past is easy—it’s way harder to create something new. He also reflects on his own life, his deep connection to Jewish culture, and the time he maybe sort of got into a situation with Charles Jacobs' family. It’s complicated.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 3.0 (PHASE II) – Originally uploaded 03/02/25
The Crow Remake Worst Movie of 2024
Is it just me, or did Hollywood decide to remake a goth classic and give us a Trump origin story in the same year? Welcome Mathewson, the Movie Slob, dives into The Crow (2024) and The Apprentice (2024)—two films that somehow represent both the best and worst of 2024. One’s a reboot that should’ve stayed buried, the other is a political biopic that somehow manages to be even scarier. Welcome explores what these films say about the current state of cinema—and maybe about the collapse o...
2025-06-22 22:22:06 +0000 UTC View PostChristmas Vacation Sucks [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Is Christmas Vacation actually Russian propaganda? Welcome Mathewson dives deep into America’s most beloved Christmas movie to uncover its dark political undercurrents and hidden agenda. Along the way, Welcome reflects on his own complicated relationship with the holidays and reveals why his plan to Make America Great Again (in a totally non-partisan way) is the only thing that can save us now. Merry Christmas, losers.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 3.0 (PHASE II) – Origin...
Superman (2025) – This Trailer Gave Me Feelings [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Daddy’s home! Welcome Mathewson reacts to the official Superman (2025) trailer—and it’s not pretty. Tears were shed. James Gunn might have saved the DCU, but Welcome’s emotional breakdown suggests this could be more complicated. Something woke up inside him—something that hasn’t stirred in a long, long time. He reflects on the legacy of Superman, his own complicated relationship with heroism, and what this trailer says about the future of cinema (and his own fragile mental state)....
2025-06-22 22:16:46 +0000 UTC View PostTerrifier 3 Sucks [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Did Terrifier 3 just ruin horror? Welcome Mathewson tears apart the most hyped horror movie of the year—and it’s not pretty. Art the Clown is back, but this time the scares feel... off. Welcome explores how the movie’s over-the-top gore and mismatched ideas turn it into a chaotic mess. He reflects on his complicated relationship with horror, his deep fear of clowns, and why Terrifier 3 might be proof that modern horror is officially dead.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 3...
I’m Sorry – The Truth About My Return [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
I screwed up. Welcome Mathewson opens up about his years of unchecked rage, his toxic relationship with his audience, and the dark path that led him here. This is not just an apology—it’s a reckoning. Welcome explains why he disappeared, why he’s finally ready to come clean, and what comes next for the future of the channel. Things are about to change—for real this time.
From the Movie Slob Archives: EXTRAS – Originally uploaded 08/03/24
Exorcist Believer – Worst Horror Movie Ever [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Did Blumhouse just destroy horror? Welcome Mathewson dives into Exorcist Believer—the reboot sequel that nobody asked for—and explains why it’s not just a bad movie, it’s an insult to horror fans everywhere. Welcome reflects on the legacy of The Exorcist, his personal history with horror, and why this film’s failure feels like a betrayal. This one cuts deep.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 4.0 – Originally uploaded 10/04/23
Oppenheimer Sucks [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Now I am become stupid, the destroyer of movies. Welcome Mathewson dives into Christopher Nolan’s overhyped epic Oppenheimer—and explains why it’s the most boring movie about mass murder ever made. Welcome unpacks Nolan’s obsession with structure over substance, his sterile characters, and why Oppenheimer proves that Nolan might just be the biggest hack working in Hollywood today.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 4.0 – Originally uploaded 09/27/23
Disney’s Snow White Is Too Hot to Hate [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Welcome Mathewson dives into Disney’s Snow White remake—and the cultural meltdown surrounding it. Why does everyone hate Rachel Zegler? She’s hot! Welcome unpacks the overblown outrage, his complicated relationship with older chicks, and why maybe—just maybe—he’s finally starting to understand women. Things get emotional. And personal.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 4.0 – Originally uploaded 08/22/23
7 Titanic Mysteries That Will Ruin the Movie for You [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Something’s not right about Titanic. Welcome Mathewson dives deep into Titanic—and uncovers 7 mysteries that will change the way you see James Cameron’s 1997 masterpiece. Did Jack and Rose even happen? Why is the ship's sinking so suspicious? And why do so many people still care about this movie? Welcome spirals down the rabbit hole—and he may not make it back.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 4.0 – Originally uploaded 09/29/23
A Great Horror Movie Idea [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Hollywood, you cowards—make this movie. Welcome Mathewson shares his groundbreaking horror movie idea: a Mississippi Ghost Slave Spontaneous Combustion film. Why hasn’t this been made yet? Welcome doesn’t want credit—he just wants to see it happen. Take the idea. Make it. Change horror forever. You’re welcome.
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 4.0 – Originally uploaded 09/27/23
Sound of Freedom Sucks [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
I thought this was supposed to be about saving kids? Welcome Mathewson takes on Sound of Freedom—a movie about something very important. Starring that crazy Jesus Jim Caviezel guy, this thing has all the wrong people talking for all the wrong reasons. Welcome’s got a lot of thoughts, some of them almost coherent. Is it a grift? Is it propaganda? Or both?
From the Movie Slob Archives: FILM ZONE 4.0 – Originally uploaded 09/21/23
No Eating? No Thank You! – Starfield Sucks [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Starfield is out of control. Welcome Mathewson visits CHUNKS Restaurant—a fine establishment where the food is to die for... literally. One wrong bite, and the army shows up. Welcome explores the insane logic behind Starfield’s security system, the underlying fascism of modern game design, and why eating at CHUNKS might be the most dangerous thing you can do in space.
From the Movie Slob Archives: EXTRAS – Originally uploaded 09/23/23
Why I Don’t Play Video Games Anymore [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Starfield is the biggest scam of my lifetime. Welcome Mathewson dives into the most overhyped game of the decade—and explains why it’s not just bad, it’s existentially disappointing. After hours of frustration, glitches, and empty planets, Welcome discovered the one good thing about Starfield—and it had nothing to do with the game. Let’s just say real-life graphics are better. No regrets.
From the Movie Slob Archives: EXTRAS – Originally uploaded 09/23/23
Halloween Needs to be Twice as Long! [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
I figured it out. Welcome Mathewson has devised a foolproof plan to save lives and make people happier—by making October twice as long. It’s simple: nerds and incels are too busy watching shitty horror movies in October to commit mass shootings. Plus, nobody wants to remember September anyway (9/11 and that Green Day song—come on). It’s time for a national change. Fuhgeddaboudit.
Amazing cover of "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by 2025-06-22 19:18:11 +0000 UTC
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Typical Gamer Girlfriend Advice [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Typical Gamer actually responded to me. I asked TG for advice on how to finally score a girlfriend, and now he thinks we’re friends. Watch as Movie Slob spirals into love and confusion thanks to the greatest gaming YouTuber of all time. Did his advice work? (Spoiler: Not yet.)
From the Movie Slob Archives: EXTRAS – Originally uploaded 07/21/23
Titanic Still Sucks – 25 Years Later [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
It was the ship of dreams—to everyone else. For Welcome Mathewson, Titanic was a slave ship, dragging him back 25 years in chains. To celebrate the 25th anniversary of James Cameron’s masterpiece (or whatever), Movie Slob revisits one of the most beloved (and overrated) films of all time. Iceberg! Right ahead!
*I'M SO EXCITED COVER BY: Cristian Jimenez & Co. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsjfAO870...
My First Date [MOVIESLOB-ARCHIVES]
Movie Slob didn't get his beak wet, but his feet are soaked—and that’s a win. Welcome Mathewson reflects on his first date experience and why it was (technically) a huge success. Love is in the air, and Welcome’s pretty sure she’s already thinking about date #2. Happy Valentine’s Day, losers!
From the Movie Slob Archives: EXTRAS – Originally uploaded 02/14/23