mycrookedvice

Lifeguard on Duty

"Come on now..." she purred. "No one's lookin'. Take it all off."

Sevira's voice was a sultry hum as she hugged the life preserver.

It was a sunny day at the S-Court, and the place was surprisingly empty for this time of year. Strange time to visit, sure... but she was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if he wasn't her ideal companion.

She watched him strip down nervously., retreating into her own mind to pass the time

It'd been far too long since s...

Getting a Raise

*Special thanks to @BlackwolfLeon for commissioning me. Check out their profile, will ya? And, if you wanna see the timelapse for the latter part of this commission, click here! 

The Sundial

Unsure of how many of you got a look at the Trip reveal, but after I saw it, I didn't really like it. Decided instead to play with one for Noir-Mobius, and I really liked the idea.

Still fleshing her out since there's very little information to gather for her, but I'm sure she'll have some connection to the Hoodlums-- or at least one of them.

Happy Patreversary to Me?

Well, I got an email telling me that it's been exactly one year (I think) since I started hosting on this platform. I had  idea it kept track of that sort of thing, and I had no idea how to celebrate.

So then I got an idea. Why not do this color wheel thing, featuring all of the wonderful people supporting my hobby! I added some extra colors to make sure that everyone could get a piece of the pie, so if you'd like your Sonic OC to be featured, let me know!

Summer's Over...

No story with this one. Just a little sad the warm weather's goin away.

Mr. And Mrs. Good Guy

"Always a treat."

Chrysante's words were laced with a thin layer of sarcasm as he collected the pieces of his Redbug kit. Tucking his mascaras, eyeshadows, and false tattoos away, the civet shot a polite smile at the pink hedgehog before him, ignoring the uncomfortable churning in his gut as she offered payment for his last-minute expertise.

The sickly sweet scent of cinnamon sugar glaze flooded his senses like nothing else could. The smell was like an old friend as it drew relu...

The Songoose

A warmup doodle, suggested by members of my Discord Server. This one features Noir-Mobius's Mina Mongoose, "Mezzo"

Character Reference: Vance Hayze

The Intoxicologist finally gets his reference.

...And this one has a weiner in it.

Moongazing with Tea

Milo felt the tears budding up in the creases of his eyes, and he attempted to cut off the misty sting by closing them.

It was his first time establishing contact with someone willing to hear him out.-- a Seasonal Priestess no less. It was the luckiest he'd been since embarking on Professor Cumber's expedition, and expecting another stroke like this one was expecting rain on the Arid Sands.

He felt himself shy away from her admiring gaze as she locked eyes with him. &n...

Twiggy's August 2023 Doodledump

Commissions opened this month, so there's a little less time available for full images. I hope you can enjoy a few of the doodles my server prompted outta me while I work on my queue <3

Have you ever wondered?

Now you have your answer <3

Commissions Opening Tomorrow

Offering a preliminary notice that commissions are opening publically tomorrow, August 16th at 12 pm EST.

As my lovely supporters, I'm happy to offer the opportunity to snag your spot earlier.

There are 3 slots remaining ♡

The Best Things Happen in the Dark...

From where he sat on the spread, Chrysante eyed his boyfriend curiously.

It wasn’t like him to be so apprehensive about initiating a conversation.

He was 'Crooked'.

He was the guy known to bait words like fishing hooks, and pull interaction out of thin air like a magician with a white rabbit.

He was THE provocateur--and on a typical day, Chrysante would have had no problems pitching intimate questions and breaching every personal boundary between him and his answer.<...

Sunny Disposition

A very special commission for a very special subscriber!

Thanks again Nate, for sticking with me!

Feel free to check out Nate's twitter account 

Love Hurts

"Shhh.... what if someone sees?"

"C'mon, no one's gonna come by here. It's gettin' dark. Trust me."

"You said that last time."

"Yeah, and? My partner's not gonna squeal. I told ya, I got it covered. Sides, he owes me one."

"One for what?"

"Shhhhhhhh, I thought you wanted to be quiet? Now, just relax. Close your eyes... let me just..."

"OW! Dexter!"

"That's NOT... right. Sorry. What can I say? It's real hard to go slow when you look so appetizin...

Twiggy's June 2023 DoodleDump

As some of you know, June was the month I decided to open commissions again! It's left me a little short on time for full pieces, but I was able to work on quite a few images in that time, both large and small.

Today's doodledump will only feature a few unfinished pieces since I want the reveal for the larger pieces to be something really special. I expect to have a few done in the coming days, so thanks for hanging in there!

As promised, members of my Discord server were allowe...

How I Wonder what You Are

The water was warmer today...

Or rather it felt that way with the red blush tinting scaly maiden's cheeks. Everything felt warmer with Von around, and as Sakura loomed over her most trusted friend, she quietly pondered exactly how one so menacious could give her such happy, tingly feelings.

One look at Von was usually enough to unsettle most folk. His long, spindly tentacles were ominous as they writhed and coiled on their own accord, and should he want to, those venomo...

The Face of a Loser

Chrysante was always something of a braggart.

If he wasn't bragging about himself, he was bragging about a skill he possessed.... and if it wasn't about a talent, he was on about any number of collectibles he'd amassed throughout the years. He'd use any opportunity to show off to anyone who dared lend their attention.

Surprisingly enough, he never bragged about his sexual prowess.

Many would find it odd that a man of his type avoided talking about sex. He was usually pr...

Spark of Madness

"Chryssie... he's chasing someone!"

"Shhhhh, shut up! Just gimme a moment to think will ya?"

The civet snapped back at the hamster in a voice shaken by both fear and irritation. They were short two teammates, and as it stood he and Cheeks were the only two working on getting the generators started.

Flair was taking this too far.

It was a mock game. Just a fun exercise for team building, or whatever it was he'd been roped into by the Cheeks' stupid little community...

Not Quite Bliss

He'd been told it was called Bliss...

Or, rather that's what he was supposed to have received. Bliss was a muscle relaxant, a relatively benign black market drug used for what some called placation. It made one agreeable. Comfortable.

But that's not what Chrys has been given that night.

This intoxication was heavy on the body.  It left him feeling completely drained after the sweltering heat took its toll on what he could imagine was every hormone he owned. He woke ...

Just because...

So according to my timeline, it's Hyena Day. First time I'm hearing of it, but of course the workaholic never takes a day off--even when it's literally FOR him.

Well, luckily I'm just the MOST awesome guy.

He's workin' late again, tidying up the place--so I figured, why not surprise the big fucker with a bit of relaxation. 

"Sit down, put your feet up, and take a load off for a while, V."

"...As a matter of fact, allow me to take that load off your han...

420 Surprise

Sabre stared at his new companion, a little bit breathless as those words slipped out of the albino's lazy grin. At this point, he wasn't sure if it was the smoke inhalation, or if he was just that shaken by what he'd heard. But as the glider's face drained of color, he could only imagine the hell he'd unleashed on one of his favorite holidays.

April 20th was always a fun day. 4/20 he was allowed to enjoy as much of the green stuff as he wanted. According to him, and every other smoker...

The Sweet Soiree's Annual Kissy Commisshy, 2023

Spring has officially sprung, and as the Flickies flutter and flap around, Amelia and Dezra are hard at work preparing for the rosy hedgehog's annual festivities.

Last year was successful enough, with the pink one earning enough from the fundraiser to purchase a few new police scanners and security cameras for her secret affairs after hours. Business always boomed around this time of year with Easter, Mother's Day, and Valentine's bundled in, but if Dexter ever got curious enough to ch...

Tundra and Flaira

A bit of info, offered by the owner of these lovely ladies <3:

Before, Tundra was just a singer who used her abilities to help out and fight the bad guys. 

Now, she's a fairly ruthless pirate who sails with her crew under their captain. She still loves to sing but doesn't do it as Tundra, instead using a disguise and alias called Black Diamond to do public performances. She learns that she loves fighting and has a thing for causing chaos.

She also has...