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mycrookedvice

mycrookedvice

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mycrookedvice posts

Girls with Tools

Special thanks to Nate! for sponsoring this commission, featuring his lovely girls Liz and Heidi, with their respective toolsets. Where Liz has her trusty wrench to fix things up, Heidi wields the power to craft any tool out of energy.

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The Enemy of My Enemy

“I’m pretty sure nobody really thinks you're responsible for any of that… and it’s not like they can actually pin it on you anyway. Your own cameras show you here, filling orders. Anyone in Central would easily vouch for you, this is nothin’ to get all worked up about…”

Chrysante gently caressed the back of Amelia’s hand. 

“If it’s one thing you’re good at Pinky, it’s getting people to like you. A few samples and you’ll have the public eating outta ...

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MCV Patch Notes 4.25.P

Hopefully, everyone's been keeping up with the monthly newsletter drops.

...Consider this one a bonus.

I'm back from my trip with a renewed sense of self-worth. I look and feel good, and I think it's about time to return to work.

Since we're well within the new year without any hiccups and I'm feeling better, I figured it's a good time to start sharing with the world again. So starting today, public uploads will return to Patreon--meaning you can keep up with my public uplo...

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One Final Notice, probably

It's been a little while since I've posted here, and in planning next year's shenanigans, I figured it's probably time to be a bit more direct about how I use this account-- just to make sure there's no confusion as we head into 2025.

Many of you have come to this Patreon expecting to see my work, appreciating this platform for the discretion it offers and the ease of use. I'm sure that some of you (hopefully all of you) have noticed that I don't post very often anymore.

I too, ...

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October 2024's newsletter

Remember to check the email you signed up with for your monthly newsletter, which contains all of September's Patreon Rewards. Commissions are opening for October, so from now until October 5th, make sure that you fill out the Appointment Booking form-- which can be found in the Mailing List for the latest drop.

I will be taking the requests of 7 clients.

Please note that there will be no future art posts to this website, to discourage leakers and ensure that exclusive posts View Post

To all my Vicechasers

We're moving on to bigger and better places, and you should have received an email that gives you VIP access to our new hangout spot-- since I sent it to the mail that you signed up with.

If by any chance you didn't receive this email, be sure to check your spam folder, and if you have any trouble navigating your invite, just let me know and I'll give you a personal tour of the place.

Thanks again for sticking with, Twiggy. See you real soon!

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So...

It appears that someone may have made my Patreon uploads accessible elsewhere.

Let me be clear in making it known that what is uploaded to Patreon will remain exclusive to Patreon until I decide to release it to the public. Not you.

These pieces and stories are reserved for people who appreciate my work enough to support it financially. This Patreon is a gift to the people who decide to pay for it, and I think it's abhorrent that someone may have decided to give that gift away to ...

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SkinPatch.exe

MyNikiAI... or as she prefers to be called "Niki" has been under Switch's care for a while... Things have gotten serious, and it's about time she's got an update.

She's enjoying her new skin.


A special thank you to @KJRWhatever via Discord for sponsoring this commission!

MyNikiAI belongs to me <3

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Let's Make a Deal

Legends say that Nyeusi had been born from an unholy union of a malevolent entity and a virgin girl sacrificed to appease its desire for dismemberment.

Some say Nyeusi is a creature from the stars that came to devour the sun.

What is known is that this creature haunts the uncharted wilds of the darkest jungles, thriving where the veil is the thinnest and desperation hangs in the air. Drawn to those who seek great knowledge, he seeks the lost in search of purpose.

Hi...

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In Her Custody

Fuck… these…. DAMN… things…

He’d repeated the phrase more than a dozen times since he woke up in this place…


It was dark, dismal… and grey. Smelled a bit like a basement, but there was a sweetness to the damp aroma hanging in the air, which brought him a sense of comfort that betrayed his instinct. 


Last time he’d partake in a stray donut… even if it WAS one of hers.


Flair’d been awake for hours, picking and clawi...

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Commissions have offficially closed!

Afternoon all,

This is your preliminary notice that art commissions are set to open August 3rd for all Resident Alleycats. There will be 7 slots available, and as always they're first come first served.

For the Peeping Tom tier, please note remaining commission slots will become available on August 4th. The Curious Cat tier will be notified on August 5th should any slots remain unclaimed.

I'll be standing by via Twitter, Discord, and Patreon DMs, so make sure you'r...

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Happy Yaoi Day

Neither Vance nor Chrysante had ever heard of a "Happy Yaoi Day" until the messages came flooding in this morning.

It certainly wasn't something they'd plan to celebrate. Based on the name alone, it felt a little more juvenile than it probably should have...and the last time Chrys indulged in one of these pop-up holidays was just for shits and giggles.

National Hyena Day was just an excuse to force Vance to shoot-- I mean... take a load off. So imagine their surprise when they g...

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Team Sickly Sweet

Chrysante Noxus: social media influencer with his hands in all the right pockets.

Amelia Rosabel: Central City's sweetheart, putting the comfort in comfort food.

Amora Jezelle: ravenous reporter with an appetite for the truth

Together these three charmers will control social media, word of mouth, and broadcast television, one heart at a time.

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2024 Pin Up: April

Introducing Dezra, Glistening Like Gold

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Purple Afterglow

The fairy lights really help put the "glow" in Afterglow.

A special thank you to @voidmoom for sponsoring this commission!

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Helping Hands

Chrys has been dropping hints about wanting to do something different. Leaving magazines around for movies he's never seen, places he's never visited, or recipes for things he's never eaten. He's still doing something of a detox, but in the summer heat, he's a bit irritable. He's been complaining since the thick, cotton sheet found its way over his head-- and though he was certain this had something to do with his birthday, he was still putting pieces together.

“It's not the first...

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Weenie Hut

I was in bed today after getting a tooth pulled and decided to cheer myself up today.

Enjoy!

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Red Like Roses

It took so much hurt to get here. So much disappointment, embarrassment... and loss.

So much loss.

...
and yet. Little Miss Rosy finally got her way.

Rosy the Rebel fought so long and so hard for her happy ever after. Every whispered wish and heartfelt cry was finally realized. Every shooting star and birthday candle she'd ever wished on came through for her in the strangest of ways. A lucky find on an unlucky day.

Amelia earned her happy ending--and n...

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He prefers it colder

He's had a few things replaced since then. Reinforced bone, enhanced healing...

and yet... with a name like Celsius, they didn't think to put in a single air conditioner.

Damnit.

Special thank you to "Absolute Zero" @ Discord for sponsoring this commission!

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Pink Lemonade

It's a little sweeter than you're used to.

Just a fun doodle featuring a cute outfit I found on Twitter <3

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Heat Wave

“Gaaaaaahhh fuck!”

Chrysante’s bleached brows shaped a weary glare at the black screen on his cellphone.

“C’mooooon” he whined, shaking the device as if doing so would magically cool the overheating device. The civet scrunched his nose up as the E-Mobile insignia framed its silent warning, and he forced a melodramatic sigh through pouting lips.


There wasn’t too often a moment when he wanted to destroy his most prized possession, but dissuading the...

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Musing Traveler

Introducing Marvel the Porcupine, born to Shujaa the Porcupine and Azurai Frostwing.

Boasting few of her father's talents and even less of his bravado, Marvel resigned to a life in his shadow, enjoying the relative peace it offers as opposed to the nonstop action and adventure she's heard so much about. Instead of seeking battles and challenges, Marvel seeks serenity and beauty in the world around her.

Marvel's favorite pastimes include sightseeing and painting scenery. Sportin...

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Seeing Stars

Introducing Kiyoshi and Hinata Masayoshi, born to Akira the Tanuki and Mach the Mantis Shrimp.

Kiyoshi's a ray of sunshine! Bright-eyed and bubbling over with excitement, she's easily fired up and always looking for new ways to draw a crowd. What she lacks in coordination, she makes up for with her boundless energy-- haphazardly slinging powerful jabs that can knock an adult off their feet and them some. Luckily, she's a good sport about it.

Kiyoshi hopes to one day make a name ...

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Ripping and Rioting

Tearing through the streets like two bats outta hell, Rip and Riot are having the time of their lives.

There's something so endearing about soldiers' faces when their weapons are turned against em'. It's a rib-tickling mix of gobsmacked and absolute terror and it always manages to pull a hearty chuckle from the dynamic duo.

The lady of the pair can barely contain her excitement as she cheers her companion into pulling that trigger one more time. They sit to admire their work, and ...

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Meet at Pinky's

Rhine's got a date!

A fellow she's been seeing on and off for a little while. They have a good time together-- sometimes among friends, and it's clear they enjoy each other's company very much.

It's actually gotten to the point where sharing isn't really an option anymore... much to someone's dismay.



Special thanks to @ShaZyV2 for sponsoring this painting. It's always nice to doodle up an adoptable after they've gotten a new home <3

And if you'...

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Story Progression

Two of Noir Mobius's most chaotic catalysts, Flairite Cruxian and Chrysante Noxus.

Imagine if they were to pair up-- even for one night, their combined mischief would be enough to warp and corrupt the future of every character they've had so much as a chance encounter with.

Romances disheveled. Reputations decimated. Lives destroyed...

And all for a few hours of uninterrupted fun.

Just imagine it.

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Commission Call: May 2024

Just a quick reminder that general commission slots will be opening May 5th, with preminary spots opening for Resident Alleycats on May 4th.

Because we've surpassed 25 paid members, I will be accepting 6 commission requests.

Commissions themed around families and children, are most sought after-- with my special interest being to design some fanchildren this time around.

Good luck everyone!

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Trespassers will be violated

If the bouncer tells you "no," it's probably wise to listen to him.

After all, he might be doing you a favor.

Just a fun little redraw to see if I could feasibly pull off a comic.
I cannot, lol. Takes wayyy too long.

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Picture Perfect

Chrysante has always been somewhat photogenic.

His bright smiles are camera-ready at every angle-- as if he's expecting to be snapped every moment of every day. He's rarely caught off guard and even his worst side grants him hundreds of likes on his silly little gossip blog.

And yet...Chrys's picture-perfect face doesn't do anything for Vance, really.

In fact, Vance prefers this cheeky civet candid.  To him, there's a satisfying allure to catching Chrys o...

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Dirty Fighting

Syndra's never had this tough a time in the ring. There'd been tons of new blood since she took the championship title, and none of them ever managed to counter her Ice Breaker. This Savage girl was trouble. Her punches are like sledgehammers and she shows no signs of letting up...

...at least not when Syndra's fighting fair.

A special thank you to @Spaciestcake for sponsoring this commission! View Post