PATREON EXCLUSIVE: The Danger Of Pure Theory When It Comes To Women Vs Real World Experience

Hey. My first patreon subscription. 4:40 and about a minute on reminded me of a scene from Malcolm in the middle where the mother flips out because she she tinks that the father loves her more. And the father goes: "Of course I love u more, if u loved me as much as I love you, we would not get out of bedroom" Sorry, I have a weird way of thinking aboot stuff. I still appreciate the content and all, it is just that I make really far fetched connections all the time

I love your love. You really are looking out for everyone and I thank you.

The way I say what you said is… “I now explicitly understand that which I implicitly knew.”

Less than 50 is still really good is it not? 🤔 Plus just because someone has less that a certain number doesn't mean they couldn't get a higher number, maybe they wanted a long-term relationship or to just be alone for a while xxx

Alisha

this is true. You will find some guys who write theoreotical articles about women like a genius online. But when you asked how much is their laycount i can guarantee its less than 50 or 100. All warrior keyboards.

Agreed. There are youtubers out there that cross that line from expecting respect in a relationship to full-on hate on women. They are dangerous and exploitative.

That is the thing about theory though, it is infinite because it is knowledge. It is no wonder you feel that way about women. Don't feel like you need theory or else you will fail, it just increases your understanding. But I can understand how you feel about it all, I remember when I was also first exposed to the manosphere and the red pill areas of the internet... it is a lot to take in. Hope you feel better soon xxx

Alisha

That much theory brings me in the position in that I do not want those women anymore. The more theory I consume the less I want women in my life.

Why did you want to learn the theory in the first place? Was it just a genuine interest or were you wanting to pick up women and/or have a good relationship? Hmmm I am an introvert too but I do feel sometimes that the whole being tired from social interaction is something a bit more. Although I am sure it is really hard being a guy and trying to flirt xxx

Alisha

This is one of the Red Pill epiphanies I’ve had. I never realized how important leading was for a man in a relationship. I started learning about it in theory, and then thinking about my weak points. I recently cornered my ex-GF into revealing one of the things I suspected. I’d be very indecisive when ordering food. She cited that as a reason she didn’t trust me to make decisions for us. Funny thing is I’m very decisive when the stakes are high and the issues are significant (I resigned in protest from my last job as a case in point). Menu decisions didn’t really seem very significant to me. However, it’s part of the dance. The dance doesn’t matter that much either, and yet it does.

Todd McDaniels

I’m definitely a theory guy. Of course I am. I’m an introverted academic. At 55 though, I have enough dots to connect that once I connect them it all tends to makes sense. I’m pretty well versed in PUA concepts and relationship dynamics. Wish I knew what I know now earlier, but I definitely haven’t had the guts to put it all into practice. It’s hard to put confidence into day to day practice. I did this drill for awhile where I’d work on my eye contact when I greeted people I’d pass by in the park, trying to maintain eye contact the longest. (Incidentally, having grown up doing karate, I was used to looking at a person’s chest because from there your peripheral vision can span their whole body from head to toe. So there was some unlearning involved too). But still I find myself shaky at times in actual practice, and being an introvert the idea gaining the practice feels tiresome.

Todd McDaniels

I would think so, I think that many people who want to be successful/famous do it because of the fantasy of being liked and/or idealized. It makes them much easier to manipulate because all someone needs to do is feed into their need of being adored. I think many people that fall for successful/famous people put them on a pedestal and could end up dissapointed when they realise that the person they fell for is just a completely normal person. Then what is left of the relationship? Obviously this isn't all cases though xxx

Alisha

This makes me wonder if (young) successful / famous boys and men are more susceptible to bad relationships, since they probably have little time for theory, and a abundance of attractive girls and women available?

Robert Lindhé

Completely agree that theory and practice go hand in hand. One example of this is a bit before lockdown was enforced due to COVID-19, amidst leanring about the dating market form the point of view of evolutionary psychology, SMV, red pill etc, I started salsa dancing. It is essentially partner dancing and we have a follow and a lead and as you guessed it, the woman usually follows and the man leads. One time, I was dancing with this girl and casually suggested that she lead and I would follow to change things up a bit and she seemed more perturbed by it than I expected and urged that she wants to just follow. Also, when the instructor's instructions were hard to follow, the women I danced with said that they did not fully undertand what the instructor said or were till overcoming the leanring curve and said that they would just follow my lead. That's when the theory and practice connected in terms of epxecting submissiveness form women, the male being the leader and needing to be decisive and to act in times of distress etc. Of course, this is just ONE example. I would recommend that everyone reading this comment and otherwise to go out and socialize one way or another be it ballroom dancing, work parties, public events, jiu jitsu classes, group projects etc and make active efforts to use the theory that you learned to bring about outcomes and watch for how you can explain people's behaviour. This is how I am trying to apply theory. But of course, right now my attempts to do this have been thwarted by lockdown and social distancing and limited business operations. Hopefully, things will get better soon and I will be able to go out and about again!

Ashwin Srinivas

This was really interesting to listen to and a good point to put across! Yes I often feel that a lot of this content on female experience/perspective confirms a lot of ideas that I feel instinctively or know from experience but can never really articulate properly. Since encountering Alex’s channel, discussions about the male experiences and the male perspective of women has been very eye opening to me. I think it’s definitely challenged me to analyse my own psychology more and of those around me, with regards to life style choices, beliefs, social interactions and why we do, behave and feel in certain ways. I was very pleasantly surprised to see that the patreon comment sections are much more welcoming, open to discussion and less intimidating than the YouTube comment sections.

Yup, great explanation. Young men, take heed! :)

Blair

Another awesome video from Alexander. While I agree with the idea that one thing is theory and another is practice, this can be applied to many matters in life, like when you learn to drive a car. I believe that this video fails in several things. Let me explain-. You said that we need to be understanding why a woman had a high number of sexual partners, which ok, you are right, and we need to see if there is something that compensates this, like being a high-quality woman. However, you are focusing this as a one-way path, and this has to be a two-way path, which means that a woman also needs to understand why a man feels this way and may be a little bit reluctant of dating/marrying her because of her past. This is like when a company hires an inexperienced employee. The new hire knows he or she does not have enough experience, but he or she is very willing to learn in exchange. The other path is that the company in which he or she is working needs to understand this and invest in him or her by teaching or giving the skills so that this relationship becomes profitable for both sides. To sum up, while knowing the theory is awesome and practice differs from theory lots of times, this needs to be focused on both sides, and this video is focused in that only man needs to be understanding with woman, not the other way.

oschicus

When Alexander was describing how men would say he's articulated something they already knew subconsciously, that's how I often feel as a woman watching his content, and other creators like him.  And once those concepts were articulated for me, it gave me permission to admit it to myself, to say 'yeah I used to do that' or 'yes I'm like that', even if the behavior was considered low-quality.  As feminists, objective reflection on one's own failings isn't always a priority.  It was a new experience for me. Around the 15 minute mark when he describes how trust in the teacher is built, I agree because the question I am most asked when I bring up RP topics or Alexander's videos to my loved ones is 'why do you watch that stuff?' And I have to explain exactly what he said there.  They are so ingrained in the pervasive feminist theories that they can't fathom why a woman might want to learn about these subjects. Or at least they don't understand why a woman would want to learn it from a man.

Jennifer Coopman

Hey, I hear guys say that they were raised with the whole "women are angels" attitude a lot but what does that actually mean if you don't mind me asking? Norway sure sounds interesting and I am glad you are becoming more at peace my friend ✌ xxx

Alisha

I was speaking to the screen: "right, right, right!" haha

You can’t be a pro swimmer or football player just by reading books and watching youtube tutorials

Jeffery Tang

Hey Alex! Referring to the part of the video where you emphasized that we as men need to be more mindful of girls' past dating mistakes. It might be a good idea to put this word out on your Youtube channel as well, just to get some balance in the audience. Watching your videos for over a year now, I have discovered that I have become bitter and resentful of the girls and women around me. This is most likely because I feel betrayed by (at least the Norwegian) society for putting forth females as these angel-like creatures. Luckily enough, I have been meditating a lot on my issue of the bitterness for females, particularly femenazis (which is not an uncommon ideologue in Norway). The many hours of mediation on this issue of mine have helped me with my well-being, as I am not as bitter anymore.. This is because I came to understand these people with insights similar to the information you mention in this video. I hope this was a valuable perspective. Also, I am a new Patreon here, and want to thank you for all of your work. You are leading fallen angels back to heaven, if I can speak in this regard.

Conceptually what you are talking about here applies in the workplace too. As a hiring manager this was why I dreaded hiring kids right out of college - all theoretical knowledge, and little to no practical experience. That’s one of the many reasons I appreciate your content. While your topics focus on relationships/dating they are grounded in evolutionary theory... I.e. human nature- thus can apply in other aspects of life as well. Great content as usual. 🙂