Hello, my Patreon comrades!
Remember how I promised to tell you about me being arrested by the police?
It's about time. The arrest itself was boring.
I read a lot of foreign materials about the e-e-evil Russian police, but in fact they’re just the same police officers as anywhere else in the world. Folks with a nervous job, the power of armed men, and a lack of state funding. Sorry, but you won’t be hearing any crime dramas with a Russian flavor from me.
My story is about something else entirely.
Recently, our militia has been renamed to “police” and thus received new uniforms. Including ones for female police officers.
One of the types of women's uniforms has been specially tailored for a desk job. So it’s not surprising that I, with my rather short rap-list, did not see it until I was brought to the police station.
And the uniform looks like this.
And you might be surprised that this thing caught my attention. It’s an average, dull gray dress, more suited for some sort of cheap airline flight attendant than the police.
But all is not that simple.)
The official police sites and sites for special clothing stores have that dress put on models that are intentionally of rather modest shapes and sizes. And that’s understandable, it’s not a "sexy cop" outfit for some adult entertainment, this is an official uniform.
But in reality everything had gone very wrong.
1) These female police officers have utterly different dimensions. Frankly, their sizes are much more impressive. Much!
2) These "LawWomen” choose for themselves the size of the dress that explicitly emphasizes specific details of their stature.
3) It’s not just the size of the dress that helps to draw out the shapes. It’s not clear in the photo, but the fabric used here is a very stretchy one indeed!
4) Nobody wears that stupid red scarf in a stuffy police office. And this means, keeping in mind all of the points mentioned, from 1 to 3, that we get one hell of a unbuttonable neckline on the uniform! A hell of a neckline, I’m telling you.
And all this without breaking any official rules!

Yeah, it was a very boring stay at the police station. But it was somewhat brightened by the graceful police employees in tight-fitting uniforms with an enormous neckline, hurrying through the corridors. And that was enough for me to ruin every arrest report form at my disposal with sketches, and I still had enough in me to draw a little bit on the subject after I got back home.
When life gives you lemons, look around in search of some melons. Yes, I know, this joke sucks, but it’s a joke that I had to use.)