Qinni (CW - death)

I had mixed feelings about making something for a tag on Twitter, because on one hand, I do want her family to be able to see all of the wonderful art people are making in remembrance of her, but on the other hand... I have a sour taste in my mouth about making art for tragic things in tags that end up trending because I don’t think I want to come off as someone trying to gain clout from someone Else’s pain. Which is not to say that people are wrong or bad for making Art for the tags in remembrance of her! I just have a bad relationship with social media right now, for ME, personally, putting a tag on the pic didn’t sit right. Because I only tag things if I want them to be found and shared. And I associate tagging my art with wanting to be promoted. That’s a me thing. So, when I posted this on Twitter, I didn’t add her name or her tags. I just wanted to honor her in my own way. And I know this is making me sound high and mighty, but I promise that’s... not where my heart is at. I felt guilty for not putting the tags, so I thought I ought to explain that SOMEWHERE. But people who follow me and know Qinni and her art, know who I was posting about without the tags so. Idk.

i feel like I owe so much to this angel. I didn’t actually put a name to the art until recently, when I found out about her diagnosis and followed all of her accounts, but I’ve been inspired by her art for years. There’s something else to be said here about how reposting detaches so much of The audience from the artist, and that’s been the case with Qinni. I knew that art. I was inspired by those stars and galaxy themes and glowing, contrasting colors for years. I never knew who she was or really tried to look for her. Pinterest, instagram, tumblr, you name it. I’ve seen her art scattered across those sites, no source, but so popular and so recognizable, I never really thought twice about trying to find the artist until this year. Until right before the end of a difficult story. And I’m angry. And I’m guilty. And I’m so so so sorry for her and her loved ones. i Do not have a healthy relationship with the concept of death. I’ve lost many people over the years, and a part of me has become desensitized to it in order to protect myself. Ive lost more people than I’m willing to count. I’ve struggled with.,, well.  my own mortality in my own ways these past few years. I don’t know why this hit so close to home. I don’t know why, other than the sudden reminder that life is short, and even with the promise of a little more time, we might not even get that. And that is terrifying. Because I desperately wish I could hold onto everyone I love forever and never lose another soul... and I have no control over that.

i guess, what’s important, is that Qinni is no longer suffering or in pain. She was loved and admired by so so so many. She has inspired, and will continue to inspire hundreds of thousands of people and artists and creators as time goes on. She is stardust. She is burning inside all of us. Light up the universe.