Chapter 113

Suite 297, Merder Stadium, Atlanta - 8:18 AM

“Dude,” Howard said quietly as I appeared in the manager’s suite. “If this were real life, you would be dead.”

“Thank you, Howard,” I snorted. “If it weren’t for the fact that I died, I would have never guessed.”

“Jamie’s got a really, really big gun,” he continued, eyes glued to the window. “She was on you, like, immediately.”

I looked out over the arena and collected my thoughts. Jamie sniping me had been expected, and I saw that she was still aiming out at my disc. Spawn killing wasn’t a very dignified manner of winning, but after all the stuff I had just pulled there was no way I was going to blame her for that. It was a valid strategy.

Adrenaline Junkies losing in the second round was surprising, but I found myself nodding when I saw that the two remaining teams in section 4 had been Summer Breeze and the Jugglernauts. The latter was one of the few teams that were capable of getting the balls into the tallest baskets from the ground. If it weren’t for Sara’s indignant request to take out Team Trouser Snake, they would have been my target for this next round. They’d have to wait for the fourth, instead.

I pulled out My Golden Bowling Ball and held it in my hand. It was lucky that fake deaths didn’t count when it was in the inventory, otherwise I would have lost the damn thing when it blocked the bullet for me. If I didn’t hold it just right then I would likely be killed again seconds after I respawned. Unfortunately for Jamie, I knew how she operated.

“Any advice, manager?” I asked.

“Don’t get shot like that again, I guess,” he replied uselessly. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, oh wise master of masters,” I chuckled, shaking my head.

The next moment, I was back in the arena. I lifted the bowling ball just in time as the crack of gunfire filled the arena again. A bullet collided with it, and the golden ball slammed into my silver mask, knocking me backwards. Dazed, but not dead, I shook it off and started running. Not towards Jamie, but Daniel.

The Guiding Light was attempting to climb up the pole to get to James, though his progress was slow going. He had apparently refused to ditch his heavy armor in order to remain protected but all it was doing was slowing him down. Good for me, at least, because when I made it to the center of our original section all I had to do was jump and grab his leg.

Daniel slid down the pole to the ground. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked angrily.

I Pulled his tower shield to my hand and shoved it into his while turning him around. “Here, you’re going to need this.”

“Why will I- Oh god put me down!”

Ignoring Daniel’s screams, I hooked my arms around his leg and waist, lifted him, and began running towards Jamie and her team. The paladin was shorter than me, so I was able to use him as an effective shield for the time being. I knew that the Weapon Master would be reloading and the distance wasn’t as good for me as it was for her, and this was my plan for getting close.

“Sorry, friend, for not meeting your expectations of being a decent fellow,” I said.

Making sure that Shield was activated, I did the same with Force Field and renewed it every few feet. In addition, I activated Cheetah Sprint and really started moving. Daniel refused to stop screaming, but that was fine by me. The confusion would hopefully buy me a few more precious seconds.

That was what I hoped, at least, but Jamie had other plans. Another gunshot, and I nearly stumbled as Daniel disappeared from my grasp. I kept running, though. I may have been slowed down, but the distance was closing fast thanks to the Cheetah Sprint skill. As I approached, I watched as Jamie stood up, leaving the intimidating rifle on its tripod, and pulled out her pistol.

I held the bowling ball in front of my face in a way that I could still see her feet as I ran, but lowered my Force Field so that it was protecting my legs. It took two bullets, nearly breaking, before my Shield shimmered from another two bullets to the chest. The evasive maneuvers I took to avoid the black patches of grass was helping, but not much.

As I ran, I wasn’t completely idle with my Warmind abilities. Summer Breeze’s Blake, the Shield Tank, was fighting Jack the Jugglernaut. It looked like a stalemate, and that was fine. Isabella, the other Jugglernaut, was scoring points by collecting balls and tossing them into the 30-foot baskets. Charlie, the Smuggler on Jamie’s team, was taking another route.

While the balls collected from beetles weren’t allowed in the inventory, a Smuggler had a completely different pocket he could tuck them away in. He collected several balls, threw them inside his pocket ability called Smuggler’s Pouch, and climbed up the poles with practiced ease. It didn’t get as many points as consistently as the Jugglernaut’s tactics, but it meant their team scored very quickly.

And I stole points from both of them by alternating my Drop target. Not a lot, but enough to ensure that I would stay above Team Trouser Snake even if they managed to break James free.

Focusing my attention back on Jamie’s rifle, I spun it so it would sweep both of her legs and gave it a good Push. She stumbled back, but I didn’t have the power to force her onto the ground anymore. Her next shot missed me as she had to fix her footing, and I threw the bowling ball. It lit on fire as I activated the Iron Anchor's boon and flew towards her with the power of Push, causing her to dive out of the way.

I Pulled My Golden Bowling Ball back towards me and swapped it out for Vermon’s Smash Stick from my inventory. I dove forward, flipping the safety on her gun with Lift, and swung for the rifle.

“Oh no you don’t,” Jamie snarled. Her foot slid under the gun and kicked it upwards, and she snatched it out of the air as she took a step back.

The Smash Stick hit the ground, leaving a large dent behind, and I shifted so that I swept her legs out from under her. Jamie fell, twisting so that she would land facing me, and pointed the gun at my face. She pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. Without hesitation, Jamie flipped the safety back up.

By then I was already on my knees, turned around, and lunging towards her. She got a shot off, which glanced off of my Shield, nearly breaking it. I grabbed her wrist and pushed it into the ground while raising the Smash Stick and taking aim for the rifle again.

Jamie swung the rifle, but instead of hitting me it disappeared as the weapon must have gone into her inventory. Her hand continued moving, grabbing a knife from her thigh holster, and slashed at me. I dodged backwards without letting her go. The blade just barely missed me, and I landed with a knee to her hip. She breathed out a hiss of pain as I raised my weapon again.

The Weapon Master shifted, and she kicked my arm as I brought it down. My aim was thrown off, missing her gun by inches. Her next kick caught me in the head before I moved my body over her waist. She kneed me in the back several times, but the leverage was missing.

“What, no quips this time, Warmonger?” she asked.

“Am I not allowed to enjoy myself quietly?” I retorted.

Her knife sliced at my chest, and my Shield shattered though not before redirecting it. The blade cut through my clothes and some of my skin but I could feel that the wound was shallow. I took the wrist I was holding and pulled it towards me, then slammed it against the ground. My other hand shifted on the Smash Stick so that I was holding the middle and attempted to pin her other arm.

“I’m not letting you break my shit!” Jamie yelled. She was slippery, but my Strength now was higher than hers and I continued trying to free the gun from her grip.

“With all due respect, I don’t think you have much of a choice,” I replied. “First your gear, then Branson’s wallet, that’s the order.”

A look of realization passed over her face, but she didn’t stop fighting. “Is that what you meant when you said he wouldn’t be able to pay me?” she asked angrily. “You’re going to make him keep replacing people’s gear until he goes broke?”

“Ding, ding, ding, winner!” I announced. “Surprised no one’s floated that idea around before, to be hone-“

Jamie slammed her head into mine, coming away with a bloody forehead. My injury from the bowling ball earlier hadn’t been healed and I reeled back. Not by much, but she definitely caught me off guard. I kept a vice-like grip on her wrist regardless. She attempted to buck me off, but couldn’t.

With my grip halfway up my Smash Stick, I swung it from the ground towards her face. It cracked her in the cheek before I lifted it a foot or so and slammed it down onto her pistol. Her knife slid between my rib cage, but I managed to strike it again and leave a heavy dent in the firearm’s barrel. She wouldn’t be able to use that again.

“One down,” I wheezed before scrambling backwards to my feet.

Not content to let me go after that, Jamie grabbed me by my pants. I activated my Force Field behind my leg just in time for her knife to scratch against it harmlessly. She pulled, and I started falling.

Behind me was a patch of black grass, and I couldn’t have that. Instead of falling forward as was natural, I Pushed my Ringmaster’s Hoodie and redirected myself so that I fell on top of her. I shifted and straddled her stomach as she attempted to slice into me again.

I was in a much better grappling position than I was before, and she only managed to cut me a little bit before I pushed her knife away. I tried to pin her arm to the ground just as I had before. Instead of just doing what I wanted and making this easier for everyone, she pulled her arm inwards. With her free hand, she reached for my face. More specifically, my mask.

Backing my head away to keep my identity safe, Jamie bucked her hips and grabbed my arm. In an instant I was on my back, gritting my teeth from landing inside a black square, and she scrambled so that I was the one mounted instead. The speed at which it had been done meant that it was likely a skill similar to the one Jeff had used on me when I first met him as the Warmonger, but I couldn’t see if she had a similar item due to the plastic armor covering everything except her head.

Dropping the Smash Stick and throwing up my hand, I got a grip on the wrist with the knife before she could use her new position to stab me. My leg immediately went up, trying to form a bridge where she would get thrown off balance, but she adjusted. Her free hand formed a fist and went straight for my neck.

I guessed that she must have thought my mask was a defensive item in some way, so I raised my shoulders and lowered my head to protect my windpipe. Her punch glanced off of my face, not without causing some damage, and she pulled back up again. I began bucking wildly, trying to throw her off of me and get the advantage, but she rode it out.

Jamie’s punches continued, getting more ferocious by the second. I shifted so that my shoulder took the next blow instead of my face and neck. When her fist hit the ground and her hips left my body, I took a chance. I leaned into her and snaked my arm around her leg, bucking one last time. With the awkward position I put her in, she couldn’t cope and I was able to lift her off of me.

I threw her onto her back and grabbed my Smash Stick. Jamie rolled away from me into another black patch. I let her as I got to my knees and stood up. Hesitantly, she stood, but didn’t take her eyes off of me. She was wary and rightfully so. I took this short break to Drop some balls into the hoops, stealing points from the other players, and suddenly felt a massive headache wash over me despite the adrenaline.

Not needing to look at my status screen to figure out what was happening, I mentally moved the rest of the points in the Medallion of Uuska over to my native Mental Points pool. When I was using my powers to Drop balls into baskets, the cost was relatively small, but I was using it more and more for other things and it was draining far too quickly. I would have to rein it in if I wanted to survive the rest of the match.

“Gotta say,” Jamie said as she wiped the blood off of her forehead. The wound looked like it was healing quickly. “Not the worst date I’ve gone on so far.”

“No, I can’t say it is,” I agreed, nodding. “I mean, all you have to do is make sure I’m not scoring points, right?”

The Weapon Master snorted. “That obvious, huh?”

I gave her a thumbs up. “Nobody on your team has died yet, have they?” I asked, looking towards the televisions.

She paused, but didn’t attack me when I wasn’t looking. “No… Why is that relevant?”

“Because then Branson would have told y’all that keeping me busy isn’t enough at all,” I laughed, pointing upwards. She followed my gaze to the screens. Team Trouser Snake had managed to get James free, and they had scored a few points, but they were too little too late.

“How the fu-“

[[Notice]]

The following teams have been removed from Big Time Hoops.

Section 1/4: Team Trouser Snake

Section 2/3: Four Best Friends

Points have been reset but will count towards your final tally.

“All skill, Jamie, all skill,” I retorted as I looked back down and gave her finger guns.

[[Patron Quest Complete!]]

Sweet bountiful Eden, you are flirting with her, aren’t you? Between her and Manny, you keep saying everything’s a date. That better be the Warmonger speaking and not Anthony Franklin.

Either way, beat her up. Make it good. Your crowd is really riled up and they are loving this, but don’t spend too much time on it, okay?

Thank you for taking care of that Blasphemous Priest. Seeing him tangled up there until the Glass Cannon made him explode was really cathartic.

Reward: 1,500 points, Angelic Feather.

I whistled and snapped away the notification, then tilted my head at Jamie. “Sorry, lady, but it seems my Patron wants me to hurry this up. Your gear or your life, I’ll let you decide.”