SPIKE Update

So, it's December now. And the self-proclaimed 'deadline' for the complete second draft of SPIKE was in November.

I have postponed writing this update because I realised to my great despair in October that there was no chance I'd be getting it all finished by November after all.

I truly hated myself for that, and this self hatred didn't exactly help the process towards reaching the goal. On the contrary it made me entirely apathetic and stressed out sick for weeks. Even had a big mental breakdown over it, cause I was just so disappointed in myself and I feared having to tell you all that I'd failed.

But my fiancé helped pull me back out of that place. Thankfully.

And he helped me realise something that should have been pretty obvious:

That it's better to take the time I need to make this novel as good as possibly can until I feel I have made something I can be proud of sharing, rather than rushing to finish it just for the sake of finishing it and then not being happy with the result at all - which would in essence both be and feel like twelve years of work all gone to waste.

And after that realisation, agreeing to what he said, I needed time to accept it, and to work on recovering from my mental breakdown, stress overload, self loathing and all that crap.

And by the end of November, I felt ready to write again.

I won't deny that it still sucks to have to tell you guys that I didn't finish in time after all.

But I did try my best. I misjudged time, underestimated how little time and opportunity life leaves for massive projects such as these.

So the bad news is that the second draft of SPIKE has not been completed.

The good news is, that these past three years I can proudly say the story has made an enormous progress.

...And I want to focus from here on out, not on hurrying up finishing it, but making a good story that I can be proud of.

And without meaning to sound cocky or conceited; I honestly think you guys are gonna love how it'll turn out.

..

Admittedly, I daydream of making it not just a story, but a series. There's so much material now that might have to be cropped out that it just feels like a waste not to make it into a series, you know?
And part of me feels it would even make more sense as a series.

I love writing, but I also miss making comics.

SPIKE comics.

And I am really tempted to start making and posting pages from the graphic novel version of SPIKE. Kind of like a webcomic of sorts. I wanna try for myself first, completing a few chapters in comic form to give myself a head start, and then do regular page updates on Patreon and DeviantART (exclusive first views to patrons; early release of new pages before they are posted on DA. Because for now you guys are the ones 'paying my salary' regarding this SPIKE project, and while I don't want to exclude anyone with a pay wall I also do feel that the level of dedication and support you guys show definitely deserve a little something special, you know?

..I am sorry that I didn't make it in time. I really am. Yet I think it was for the best in a way, you know? 

I want to make another update post soon. One that shows more of the actually progress that has been made.
I am also considering showing you some documents. Scene ideas, either canon or hypothetical scenarios, character development, or scenes/memories of Spike and Sam and their past together.

Furthermore I have tons of OLD material from the previous versions of the SPIKE story and its characters. I wouldn't mind sharing those with you guys as well, if that sounds interesting?

I want to make the best out of this disappointing situation, you know?

But also, I think it would be inspiring and interesting for me as well to share some of these things with you.

..Another small update is that I will be posting a Christmas comic of Spike and Sam very soon. Before Christmas anyhow. The comic is just three pages long and already completed, so I'm keeping my word with this one at least.. ^-^'

As always, I am really thankful and appreciative of all your support, guys <3 more than I show. So from the bottom of my heart: thank you all so, so much <3