Let's talk!

Here's a photo with my clothes on! It might shock you! It's not a recent photo. This was at the Hilton Hotel in Malta, when I was exhibiting at the innovation summit last year. Wow time flies. Can't wait to have hair again!!!

I wanted to talk to you because you are always on my mind but my inefficiency and indecision can get in the way. I've been determined to rejuvinate my YouTube channel and share more personal stories, moving slightly away from my normal Vloggin style. I got all excited about this and was really hopeful that I could find someone to work with to help make this happen, but so far it hasn't happened yet, I made the "shame" Vlog which was part one of a part three series, because this subject is so personal to me, but then after my video bombed on YT, with a very low number of views, it kind of put me off making anymore! 

I find I am full of ideas and excitement for birthing something new and exciting and then after a week or two the energy dissipates and the whole thing feels like a lot of hard work and struggle and then I lose the fire!

i also want to get out of this constant push, pull of feeling what should i do? you know i struggle with my naked content. Recently someone I know, I wouldn't call her a friend, but we are friendly, told me that she felt that I wasn't owning who i was. She sees me as some kind of soft p-o-r-n creator!!! And the thought of that was just something so off putting to me, I had to be honest that yes, i do sometimes make sexy content, but at the same time, you know, I have been in this constant dance around that, where it just doesn't quite sit right with me. I want to be at peace with it, so that I can make a decision about whether I can be OK with my naked content and really embrace it, or whether there is something else wanting to emerge from me and leave the naked stuff behind. I think I know the answer, but committing to one plan of action is a challenge for me. 

I feel guilty that my Patreon content can be inconsistent at times, but because of the emotional content of doing something SO PERSONAL- namely sharing my body, mind and spirit with you every single month for two years here on Patreon as well as the extra two years on YouTube and Vidme, it can take its toll. I sometimes feel like a machine that has to churn out personal expressions of myself whether i feel like it or not, and that's the bit about Patreon that doesn't sit right with me. And you know I am gonna share with you my true feelings when I'm going through this. I hope you appreciate that me sharing this is valuable, it's not something easy, it's intense. And although I am crazy grateful for your support. Some of you have been supporting me for years, I also feel it can be tough to be thinking about my content all the time and only having enough to pay my rent and bills, nothing left over for holidays or nights out at a restaurant, and so I am trying to find a way to stay here creating for you but I also have to be realistic and find another stream of income that is a bit more abundant, as Patreon has been my only income lately and it has dropped to a point where i can't rely on it .

So, I am creating a creative course helping people to tap into their creativity and turn it into income. I'l share it with you when I'm ready. Maybe you'll want to sign up and spend time with me for 6 weeks exploring your creativity! or maybe you'll support me by sharing it with friends of yours who might like to gift themselves for christmas?! my goal is that it will give me enough money to take the strain off so I can devote some long hours to making new creative content...

SO LET'S GET BACK TO YOU...that's what I have been up to....thinking up plans to revive my YouTube channel...designing a course...I wrote an audio book, that I'll happily share with you....I started transcribing it into an ebook....I flit from one thing to another, sometimes not completing one thing, it's a creative nightmare!!!! But I want to check in with you what you need from me???

What I was thinking is.....how about we get up close and personal this Christmas?

I would love to schedule some live zoom calls with you! Ideally where you share your video, so I really get to meet and know you....but I know that can be scary, so I can also leave that up to you to choose how comfortable you are with that....

HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

One or two zooms a week....most of you are in the states, and i am in Europe so it would probably be late evening for you, and early morning for me

IN BED WITH SUZE.......

I know a lot of you hate the patreon app, and you don't interact here with comments, but I need your feedback...

I can do Sunday mornings EUROPE TIME... and one other morning a week, where i will send you the link and you just rock up and hang with me in bed while I eat my breakfast with you an d chat....

Please shout YES! If you would be up for this....LET'S HANG OUT THIS CHRISTMAS and during these chats you can tell me what you would like me to create.....

love 

Suze ;-)