Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [8]

Nightfall.

Returning from an Anbu mission, Itachi peered through the gap of a sliding door and noticed that Sasuke seemed especially cheerful tonight.

“Sasuke, what are you smiling about?”

“Ah, big brother, you’re back!”

The moment Sasuke saw that it was Itachi pulling open the door, he ran over excitedly, pointing nonstop at the woolen red cap on his head.

“Brother, didn’t you notice? This—this~”

“…What about your new hat?”

“This red hat was a gift from my friend.”

“Oh? Sasuke finally has a friend?”

“What do you mean finally? Don’t make it sound like everyone hates me! You’ve seen them too, brother—the siblings with gold and silver hair who got caught in the street by those dog-bastards from the Hyūga.”

At hearing Sasuke had befriended the Nine-Tails’ jinchūriki, Itachi’s mouth twitched.

“Brother, listen! They’re super, super nice to me. Though Hoshino was cold at first, once I tossed him 100,000 ryō and promised I’d give him five million later, suddenly he was pouring tea and massaging my shoulders—I almost felt embarrassed.”

Watching his younger brother scratch the back of his head and laugh foolishly, Itachi felt the violent urge to slap Sasuke to death on the spot.

Why is my stupid little brother this stupid? This IQ is shameful to the Uchiha name. Sasuke doesn’t suit him at all. He should just be renamed Uchiha Disgrace! That’d be more fitting.

It was bedtime for good children, but Sasuke, still excited, kept chattering to his “happy” brother about Hoshino and Naruto.

“Oh, right, brother. At their house I saw them acting all weird, talking about some triangular cloth. I think it was called… pan… pan… pantsu? Yeah, pantsu. What’s pantsu?”

“…Uh, that’s—those are panties for women. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Panties for women? But Naruto said I should wear them too, and even said I’m a girl. Brother, could it be that I’m actu—”

“Sasuke!”

“Uwah! B-brother?”

For the first time, Sasuke was startled by Itachi shouting his name. Did I do something wrong?

Itachi’s emotions surged so violently his Sharingan activated on its own. He clutched Sasuke’s little face with both hands, muttering like self-hypnosis:

“Sasuke, you’re a boy. You’re my younger brother. No matter what, you can’t possibly be a girl… Father and Mother both confirmed you’re a boy. You only have some… deficiencies. It doesn’t matter. That thing will definitely grow. Maybe tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then the day after. If not the day after, then—”

Terrified by Itachi’s intensity, Sasuke’s eyes welled up and he burst into loud sobs.

Moments later, hearing the cries, Uchiha Fugaku hurried over.

“Sasuke! What happened!?”

“Father, brother—brother… he’s scary.”

The instant Fugaku appeared, Sasuke darted behind him, away from Itachi’s strange muttering.

Realizing how serious it looked, Fugaku decided on the spot to drag Itachi back to his own room, leaving Sasuke to—

“Dear, slow down! I haven’t finished arranging my clothes yet, my underwear is still—cough, cough! Oh, Itachi, you’re back. I thought you weren’t home yet. D-don’t misunderstand! Your father and I—our clothes are messy, but we definitely weren’t doing anything indecent just now, don’t think of anything unsuitable for child—”

“Shut up! What the hell are you saying in front of the kids!?”

“How is it my fault? I was almost asleep, and then you suddenly got frisky and started pulling at my—”

“Mikoto! You handle Sasuke’s counseling, I’ll take care of Itachi. That’s final!”

Only after Fugaku’s roar did the slightly airheaded Mikoto catch on to the strange mood filling the room. She watched him drag Itachi away, then hurried to embrace Sasuke.

“Sasuke, what happened between you and your brother?”

“I… I was just talking to him about my friends, and then, then…”

“And then? Did you start talking about gender?”

“Uh? Y-yeah, I asked brother if maybe I could be a girl instead of a boy.”

Hearing that her guess was right, Mikoto’s eyes filled with deep sadness. She gently stroked Sasuke’s head.

“I see. Sasuke, you’ve already reached the age of… vanity, huh?”

“Vanity?”

“Sasuke, Mommy will explain that word later. For now, I need to tell you a secret. Remember—don’t tell anyone. The truth is… your brother, he’s sick.”

“Brother is sick? I-is it serious!?”

“Your brother… has a disease so rare even Tsunade-sama can do nothing. These years, he’s only managed to keep living because of you… oh, my poor Itachi! Why must you suffer such an illness! Heaven is cruel, heaven steals its talents…!”

Mikoto couldn’t even finish before tears burst down her cheeks. She clutched Sasuke tight, wailing.

For Itachi to keep living, I’m afraid it’ll have to be you who bears the burden, Sasuke.

…

Later that night, when Fugaku and Mikoto had returned to their room, Sasuke knelt alone at Itachi’s side, holding back his tears. Never had he imagined Itachi had cancer—and late stage, at that.

Today was supposed to be a perfect day, full of joy. But before bed, he’d been struck by a thunderclap of despair, crushing his young heart.

“Brother, I’m sorry. I never knew you had this terminal illness called Brother-Complex Cancer. If I hadn’t selfishly said maybe I was a girl, your Brother-Complex late stage wouldn’t have nearly mutated into final stage… I won’t do it again. I’ll never say I might not be a boy again. So, brother… brother, you have to hold on…!”

That night, someone in a luxurious mansion slowly lost the happiness he’d had since birth, while elsewhere someone else, after long bitterness, finally tasted the small joy he’d yearned for in the noisy warmth of a winter night…

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T/N: itachi... where did my cool handsome itachi go :sob:

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!