Stay Alive - Chapter 3

I muttered curses as I once again fell onto my ass. The only reason I wasn't covered in mud was that the weather was too cold for it. Arya laughed from nearby only to be chided into silence by Sansa. Tommen and Myrcella had been allowed to join the Stark youngsters this morning. It was a sign that Cersei was starting to get restless, which meant I had to keep Bran away from the towers.

Bran looked down at me from his perch on the side of the wall.

"I swear you must have been a goat in your previous life." I stood and dusted myself off.

"Or you're just pants at climbing." Bran teased.

"Watch your tone." I put on an exaggerated glare and stood to my full height. "I am your prince." I paused. "And my pride hurts almost as much as my rump."

That earned another round of laughter. Even Sansa joined in, though she hid her mouth behind her hand. This poor girl was way too innocent. They all were. It was just another reason I needed to prevent the upcoming war. Thankfully, I had convinced Bran to stick to the lower portions of climbing the walls so Cersei and Jamie would remain out of sight if they slipped off to screw. I swear, they had to have half of the servants in on their 'private' matters. They weren't nearly as subtle as they thought. Maybe people were too distracted by the mess that was the king.

"Prince Joffrey. Children." One of the servants stepped forward. "The mid-day meal will be ready shortly if you'd like time to clean yourself."

I didn't remember the servants name, but she was basically their nanny. No one argued with her, not even Lord and Lady Stark. I was sure as hell wasn't going to be the person to start disrespecting her.

"Thank you, ma'am." I inclined my head toward her. "You heard her, time to get washed up."

Bran hopped down from the wall without hesitation. He landed easily and stuck his tongue out at me as he passed by. I scooped him up and tossed him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He giggled as he struggled to escape my grip.

"Joffrey." My mother snapped as the gaggle of kids entered the dining hall. "What are you doing?"

The King was sleeping off yet another bender which left Cersei alone with Lord and Lady Stark. Neither lady appeared too pleased at the sight of the two of us covered in dirt. Lord Stark, however, had a small smile on his face. He also seemed to approve that Jon had come to stand beside me.

"Currently." I tickled the back of Bran's knee. "Annoying Bran." A loud peal of laughter echoed through the room.

The true Prince of the kingdom took Bran from my shoulder. I had announced my intention to take him as part of my retinue this morning at breakfast. Both Lord and Lady Stark were conflicted for very different reasons. My first order of business was to move him into a room close to mine. Lady Stark had not been happy to see Jon treated with any sort of decency. Much to her annoyance, Robb and I didn't get along nearly as well.

It had been six days, and I was already rather annoyed with Lady Stark. I couldn't recall if she had any positive impact on the storyline. It was rather tempting to have her fall down the stairs from a high tower. I thanked whatever laws there were that meant she wasn't coming along to Kingslanding. There had to be a Stark in Winterfell. Robb would stay as the acting Lord with Catelyn as an advisor.  

I did not miss the sly looks Cersei gave Ned when her frustrations at Robert grew too much. Getting the two of them together would be interesting, possibly catastrophic, but interesting, nonetheless. At least it would get her away from Jamie.

"Thank you, Jon." I gave him a nod. "Now, I am going to wash." I strolled over and placed a kiss on Cersei's cheek. My voice dropped so that only she could hear as I got close. "May I have a word in private after the meal?"

"Go wash yourself." She gave a tight smile and a very slight nod.

"Apologies, mother." I returned her smile with a genuine one of my own. "I have enjoyed myself here much more than I expected."

Cersei let out a little noise that was too graceful to be a grunt. She was not as lucky. This place bored her out of her mind. There were only so many conversations she could have with Lady Stark while sober.

Jon fell into step beside me as I headed to the washroom. The Stark kids may have adjusted to using the chilling water outside, I had not.

"What do you think of Lady Stark?" I asked as the door closed behind us.

Jon stiffened.

"She…" He searched for a way to continue.

"Understood." I chuckled.

Jon scrunched his face in consternation.

"I have a question that I need you to consider without emotion." I took a moment to wash up as he thought over my words.

"I'm ready." Jon nodded.

"Would you be opposed to having her killed?" I held up a hand before he could speak. "I'm not asking you to do it. I want your input as a person who has more experience with her than I do. She will be a problem going forward if this is her on her best behavior."

"What are you asking me this?" Jon clenched his jaw.

"I'm not asking you to do it." I repeated. "I trust your judgement."

Jon busied himself with washing. A myriad of micro-expressions flashed over his face as he thought. He let out a long, slow sigh. Jon looked over to me and nodded. I returned the nod.

"Good." I patted him on the shoulder. "I want us on the same page. If you disagree with me, say something. Pull me to the side and let me know your grievances. "

Moments like these required me to act my age, even as fun as it was to be a kid again. Though my age was still a confusing part of my new life. The details were getting blurry. This world was starting to overwrite my previous one. I ran through the plot of the books and movies nightly to keep the information fresh. It wasn't my favorite, so I didn't know nearly as much as I would have liked. Most of what I knew was from spoilers online and memes after season one. I had made it through a couple of the books before I got tired of the grim-dark setting.

Robb would be allowed to grow on his own without Lady Stark. That left another problem in the form of Theon Greyjoy. Killing him wasn't an issue. Littlefinger was another easy one that needed to go. That bald guy in Kingslanding needed some more thought. His information network would be an asset. The Boltons and the Frey family were among the list of people who would better the world with their deaths. It would be a bit of doing, but The Mountain needed to go too. Poison would be the best bet for him, otherwise too many people would die in the process. Maybe I could get the stuff that killed Joffrey, it looked painful, and that monster deserved pain. Now, if I could only remember who did it.

"Let's go." I motioned for Jon to lead the way since I was still getting the hang of the layout of the keep.

Jon guided me back to the dining hall. We got back to see everyone already waiting. The only open spot for him to sit was between Robb and Sansa. Jon would have to take a spot on the other side of Bran, which was the farthest he could be while still being at the same table. Subtle Caetlyn Stark was not. Cersei didn't have a problem with Jon. If anything, I'd have to make sure she didn't decide to add him to her harem. Lord Stark had arrived at some point. His resting bitch face was on display as always. I swear the guy was allergic to happiness.

Quiet conversation was had as food was had. Robert was still elsewhere sleeping it off or getting a start of his drinking. Not even Ned seemed to mind.

"Where's Uncle?" I asked as I looked around the room.

"He said you gave him something important to work on." Cersei raised a sculpted eyebrow at me.

"Excuse me." I waved over one of the servants. "Check on my uncle Tyrion. Make sure he had something to eat and has gotten some sleep."

The servant nodded and hurried away. Cersei studied me for a moment before she poured herself another glass of wine. Conversation dropped off as the food was finished.

"Joffrey." Cersei stood. "Tell your friends to wait. We need to speak."

"Of course, mother." I nodded. "Jon, arrange the sparring yard. I'd like to get some training in."

Jon stood. Arya was fast to follow him out.

"Robb." I turned my attention to him. "I'd be honored if you'd join as well."

"Thank you, your highness." Robb replied stiffly.

He didn't seem happy ever since I made sure Theon wasn't in the same room as me.

"Call me Joffrey." I chuckled. "We're in your home."

"Thank you, Joffrey." Robb said.

"Joffrey." Cersei called.

I bowed to Lord Stark and took my leave. She didn't slow her pace until we were back in her suite. The King and Queen hadn't shared a room for years. I had no idea how Robert didn't know the kids were his. She probably spiked his drink or something. He didn't strike me as a considerate bedmate.

"What did you wish to speak to me about?" She poured herself another glass of wine as she took a seat.

"I don't have my own men yet." I explained. "I need someone, a few actually, killed in a… delicate way."

"Oh?" Cersei gave me a genuine smile. "Anyone I know?"

"None that you will miss." I winked at her.

"I will need names." Cersei seemed amused.

I moved closer. There was no telling if someone was listening. It wouldn't shock me if there was a network of secret tunnels in the walls. I kneeled close to her, so my lips were next to her ear.

"Catelyn Stark." I moved away to see her reaction.

The slight upturn of her lips was the only sign she had heard me.

"After some distance." I added. "There is another that I can handle with my current resources."

"This trip has done you well." Cersei patted the side of my face lovingly. "Now, tell me why."

"We're leaving soon." I explained. "She will take charge once we're gone. No one wants that. Robb needs to grow without her poisoning him. I'll take care of the other issue."

"A true lion." Cersei stood and pulled me into a hug.

~§~

"And then that stuck up bastard…" Theon paused to take a big drink of his ale.

"Who's this?" The man next to him asked.

"That prissy whore they call a prince." Theon spat.

Theon jumped when a heavy hand clamped down on his shoulder. He looked at the man who had grabbed him. It took his drunk brain a minute to recognize the coat of arms.

"Apologize to the prince." The man growled.

"Fuck you." Theon tossed his drink in the man's face.

His night ended when a gauntleted fist knocked him to the ground. His life came to an end shortly after as an armored boot connected with his forehead.

The Lannister knight used the corpse's shirt to clean the gore off his boot. Joffrey had slipped him some coins earlier to take the Ironborn out for drinks with the promise of double if Theon didn't make It back. He wasn't going to turn down a few rounds on the Prince and a bonus.