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BarCalak

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Bas Rhys circa 2007

On set paparazzi during Burn Notice shoot

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Chapter 28: It’s Pronounced PHO

Chapter 28: It’s Pronounced PHO

Three bricks up and two across. July 2007.

Welcome to the Potter Heads Online message boards.

You are currently logged in: GoldenBitch50

You are viewing: Red Carpet Megathread

~ Topic: Order of the Phoenix Premiere

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Chapter 27.5: Pillow Fight

Chapter 27.5: Pillow Fight

Bas’ Koreatown Apartment, LA. June 2007.

Emma Watson was in the shower with me. Jealous?

“Left one’s hot, and turn the right for cold. You need to pull this tab if you’d prefer the hand nozzle over the sun spray.” As the shower - much like your tears of disappointment - flowed out, I held my hand under the downpour for a few seconds until it hit my ideal temperature. “Takes a second.”

“I’m v...

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5th Move: On Radar

5th Move: On Radar

No longer would I suffer the blaring wails of the deafening alarms of yesterworld. My wake up call these days was a wet nose aggressively performing an Odor Sleuth near my face.

“I’m up, I’m up.” I unzipped the door to my tent, crawled out with Baloo, and stretched to Absorb a little Morning Sun

Toiletries and Pokéball in hand, I trekked down to the nearby riverbank while...

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Release Update April (4)

And they don't stop coming!

This week's chapters are once again out for everyone to enjoy at their own leisure!

Mover/Shaker Chapter 4

IoTV! Chapters 26, 26.5, and 27

Bas is finished with his little cameo sidequests while he bided his time for Tropic Thunder's schedule to catch up. Next week we fly down to Hawaii, disguised as Saigon, to play pretend at war!

As always, know that I appreciate each and every one of you for your continued support. Keeps me going...

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Chapter 27: PSchnitzel!

Chapter 27: PSchnitzel!

White Rock Vancouver BC, Canada. April 2007.

Sweater weather isn’t quite what I’d been expecting to encounter when I landed in a seaside town. White Rock may look enough like Santa Barbara to shoot a TV show there, but the weather was like being back on set in the UK where every breath felt like I was drinking ice cold water after sucking on a mint. 

I didn’t let it bother me, though. My mind, body, and soul were elsewhere...

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Chapter 26.5: The 30-Year-Old Cougar

Chapter 26.5: The 30-Year-Old Cougar

LaGuardia Airport, New York. March 2007.

Bing! The sound of the seatbelt sign switching off acted like a gunshot at the start of a race. 

It didn’t matter that we were in the first-class cabin; as soon as that little chime went off, people were on their feet faster than Olympic sprinters. 

I reached up and opened the storage compartment above my seat and pulled out first Ca...

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Chapter 26: Burnt Open

Chapter 26: Burnt Open

Coconut Grove, Miami. February 2007.

My name is Bas Rhys. I used to be a movie star until…

We’ve got a Burn Notice on you. You’re blacklisted.

The first of the two USA Network shows Anita had secured for me was the about-to-launch spy show with surprisingly slick production values. 

I don’t know what it was with my selection of American productio...

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4th Move: Combinations

4th Move: Combinations

Midnight had become my prime training time. The moon was high; the Kricketots were chirping, and I was struggling not to jump at every shifting shadow. This time, neither Ivy nor I had neglected to bring our Pokémon along with us. 

“Alright, Baloo! Get to work!” Baloo roared in determination; his claws struck at his sides in a martial art pose. He rushed to the brightest ray of moonlight, gave me one last confident smirk, and pro...

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Release Update April (3)

Hey Everyone!

IoTV! chapters 24.5, 25, and 25.5 are up and available for your enjoyment. Bas has officially left 2006 behind and started off 2007 transitioning into the next phase of his career. This coming week we'll explore Bas in new projects as he gets ready for Tropic Thunder and TV roles.

Mover/Shaker chapter 3 is up. Uki's in business!

Thank you again to all you of you have stuck by me and supported my stories these last few months, as well as you new comers. Its b...

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Chapter 25.5: Borderline

Chapter 25.5: Borderline

Bas’ Koreatown Apartment, LA. January 2007.

Boredom. Boredom. Boredom. 

My tongue stretched out under the upturned glass in my hand to collect the last drop of cocoa. Borosilicate

I turned my head to look out the window. I spied the flowers Cadbury had draped around the balcony railings. Bougainvillea.

Dejectedly, I approached the window, pressed my face and hands ...

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3rd Move: Slurp

3rd Move: Slurp

Baloo, ‘til such time I caught my second Pokémon, was my sole focus. You could even call it the bear necessities.

Ursaluna being my end game with him. I will play to its strengths and develop him with physical attack, defenses, and constitution in mind, as well as compounding its ground typing.

I wasn’t yet able to afford the Macro Cosmos food storage attachment for my backpack that was so popular around Gal...

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Chapter 25: Out of Rouge

Chapter 25: Out of Rouge

Knightsbridge, London. December 2006.

If you ever want to feel stupid, wear sunglasses at night. 

For those of us with any level of self awareness, few things draw public ridicule from abject strangers like being behind a pair of dark shades during the late evening.

Two dusky women blew right past me, did a double take at me, leaning on one of the display fronts outside Harrods, and giggled to themselves.&...

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Chapter 24.5: When the Wind Blows

Chapter 24.5: When the Wind Blows

WB Offices London, UK. December 2006.

There’s a famous saying about crisis. I don’t remember what it was or who said it, but the one thing I do know is that it had nothing to do with Uno.

“Draw two.” Damn it! Emma smirked at me as I pulled two from the draw pile and then laughed when I had nothing to put down. I had ten cards in hand and all of them were green.

I turned away from her and looked...

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Release Update April (2)

We've reached a milestone!

Chapter 2 of Mover/Shaker is available to read.

Chapters 23.5, 23X, and 24 of IoTV! are also now added to the saga.

With these three chapters I'm on TV! has officially crossed a 100K in word count.

This is insane!

On the outset of this story 2 and a half months ago it was my hope that I would've written 50-60K words total and satisfyingly wrapped up the entire fic. But here we are, blown right past that with the end of Bas' story n...

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Chapter 24: The Chosen One

Chapter 24: The Chosen One

Leavesden Studios, UK. November 2006.

Writing this bloody book felt like summiting Everest

But instead of the glorious view from scaling the highest peak in the world, Jo, upon cresting the mountain, saw only a crater full of magma frothing in anticipation of an eruption. A rather poignant parable for her temper. Her hell.

She was two drafts in for Deathly Hallows, the last installment in her epic, yet nowher...

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2nd Move: Hawker

2nd Move: Hawker

Conventional wisdom states that the start of anyone’s journey involves going to the nearest gym, catching a couple of Pokémon with a type advantage, and subsequently earning your first badge. 

According to that, I was entirely devoid of wisdom.

Moving forward from Cherrygrove, I had entirely bypassed the Violet City gym and parked my camping gear squarely in the middle of route 36.

What was on this route that attracted me to ...

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Chapter 23X: Rutting Room Floor

DISCLAIMER:
The latter half of this chapter contains another explicit evening that Bas shares with his newest conquest. Enjoy!

Chapter 23X: Rutting Room Floor

Leavesden Studios, UK. October 2006.

“Oh, hi Mark!” Ah, the editing studio. The workshop of the Harry Potter franchise’s very own Da Vinci, Mark Day.

Here and here alone, boys became men, the ugly transformed into the beautiful, and a lack of c...

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Chapter 23.5: Float Like a Boggart, Sting Like a Ray

Chapter 23.5: Float Like a Boggart, Sting Like a Ray

Leavesden Studios, UK. August 2006.

Despite having enough WD-40 and lubricant to put a professional garage to shame, I knew the five steps I stood above, and the door I’d have to approach would creak as loud as the added sound effects in popcorn horror movies.

“Ready when you are, Bas.” I nodded at the camera behind my shoulder. I didn’t have the headspace for a quip or joke. I w...

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Release Update April (1)

No! This isn't a joke,

IoTV! races on with chapters 22, 22.5, and 23 released and available to read. Bas is spending more time in the limelight than ever. This coming week we should hopefully put a wrap on OoTP while having a hijink here or there.

Next week will also be a landmark for IoTV!

Additionally, I have officially released my next story Mover/Shaker a pokemon SI. The first chapter Step 1 is also ready to read. It will remain a Patreon excusive until I feel I have e...

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1st Move: Kindling

1st Move: Kindling

When one is isekai’d, there are certain expectations we often hope for. An overpowered cheat, maybe a system, or failing everything else, at least a cool name. Ebony Darkness Blade, Hydrus Emrhys Black of Vengerberg, Gokunaruto - anything remotely protagonist would do! 

What kind of non-MC name was Uki’uki? 

My isekai parents were originally from Alola if you couldn’t already guess. Who in the world would take Pokémon Ch...

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Official Release of Mover/Shaker!

A new story for a new fandom. A Pokemon self insert unlike any other.

Embark on a adventure of a second lifetime as a reincarnator finds themselves in the Pokemon world. An exploration of Pokemon, training, battling, and move tutoring. An easy going life of accumulating knowledge and riches thwarted by their own unwitting competence.

No dystopian death worlds, no champion speedrun, this is a working vacation in text.


Enjoy chapters every week!

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Chapter 23: The Long Con

Chapter 23: The Long Con

San Diego Convention Center, California. July 2006.

The heat of the morning sun was nothing compared to the sweltering press of the milling crowds. Screeching gulls were muted by the crinkling of paper and the squeaking of cheap, fake leather chaffing on sweating skin. Even the salty ocean breeze was overwhelmed by the wafting waves of barely there deodorant failing to mask the fetid stench of unwashed pits and bits. ...

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Chapter 22.5: Changing the Requirements

Chapter 22.5: Changing the Requirements

Leavesden Studio, UK. May 2006.

[Ron snagged his wand, gathered his feet under himself, and dusted his shoulder. “One more.” He hefted his wand and took a dueling stance.

I, and the camera traced the length of his wand and panned over to reveal a smug Hermione. 

The embers in the fireplace behind her danced; the lighting silhouetting Hermione’s cocked hips and cas...

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Chapter 22: DeGenerate Barbarian

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi everyone, a little unusual but Patreon's limited formatting options have forced me to do this. Written below is the next chapter, attached with it is also the same chapter but superior. I urge you to read the attached version. The content is the same but the formatting is something new I tried and I feel adds much much more to the experience of this chapter. It is the true version. Either way, enjoy!

--

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Release Update March (4)

Hello dear members,

Been a rough week but as promised I managed to get all chapter of IoTV! out on time as always!

IoTV! chapters 20, 20.5, 21, and 21.5 are available at your leisure.

Once again, my deepest apologies for the slight delay this week due to an unforeseen emergency I had to waste over two full days on. Everything is now back on track, thanks again for your patience.

Look out for the (regular release) for this coming week. I'm going to take a much needed...

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Chapter 21.5: Naked Attrition

Chapter 21.5: Naked Attrition

Lacock Abbey, UK. March 2006.

“Anger is… easy.” Rickman said calmly. 

But the ever so slightly too firm grip on the nape of my neck might reveal more complex emotions. “Just go red in the face and rip your vocal cords to shreds. There’s no art in that.”

Water cascaded down my hairline, drenching my face as I struggled to keep it out of my eyes. “Someone’s been reviewing my footage, I s...

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Chapter 21: Sponsored by Strepsils

Chapter 21: Sponsored by Strepsils

Leavesden Studios, UK. February 2006.

[My head rested on my hands folded behind them, my feet were crossed and kicked up as I laid back. You’d think I was chilling in a hammock and not in the middle of a flower bed. 

The crackling static of a television set blinking on was followed by the voice on the news.

My program was on, so I gingerly and quietly scooted up till my ey...

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Chapter 20.5: Shoe on the Other Foot

Chapter 20.5: Shoe on the Other Foot

WB Offices London, January 2006.

A whistle, a tumbleweed, and three pairs of twitchy eyes. I could practically hear the theme song of ‘The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly’ blaring across the confined office room I was in. 

The scrape of my chair on the hardwood pierced through the silence like a hawk screeching in the noon sky. 

“Sirius is a deeply troubled and conflicted i...

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March Release Update (3)

Hello all members,

Apologies for the slight delay in keeping you appraised of the last week's releases, but I can at least say that I'm on TV! chapters 18.5, 18X, 19, and 19.5 were all released on time!

This coming week's chapters have also commenced at the time of this update. Look forward to Bas' adventures filming the 'Order of the Phoenix'.

Thanks again for sticking with me, and I hope you continue to enjoy my work.

EDIT: Apologies for the slight ...

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