MattMorgan

Mmmmmm

Talking to this hunk later in the week.

(Edit: found the big dipper round his nipper)

UPDATE

Rick has called in sick. So we’ll deal with him next weekend.

I’ll be talking to the man in the picture on Monday night though.

Still Greenish

It looked worse this morning. Winter asked me not to pick her up from school. It’s still got a green tinge.

Looked better when my sister sprayed my beard and eyebrows with ‘root cover-up’ spray for lols.

Part of me thinks - hit it with a few more coats but it might end up looking like a late St. Patrick’s Day tribute.

Quick answers

From women or men with experience- should I do my eyebrows too? So it matches beard which will not stay green I am ensured it will go brown. Genuine answers only. Hurry up cos I don’t have long for the stuff to stay warm.

Ask Rick Anything…

General enquiries, advice sought, conundrums, vaccine facts, Michelle Obama’s penis trivia, the future of humanity- he can take it all. Probe him.

adviceneeded@icloud.com

PODCAST 167 - Now is Shit

I fell through the matrix for a bit, but I'm back.

Longing for simpler times is a theme here, however the most important question raised is 'can ants get lost?'.

Saw This on a Train

Mad respect frankly.

PODCAST 166 - Housebarrassment

Meet Christine Rose, a comedy-writer friend who despite being afflicted as a child with very curly hair and nasal issues has flourished into an adult with straight hair and nasal issues. Here is her story.

This Can’t Go Wrong

Can it?

Phwoar!

He’s so wild and free he feeds himself solely from beer garden ponds now. He’ll be along soonish to tell us all about it.

DO NOT post this picture on social media asking people to ‘please identify this man who had sex with a swan soon after this picture was taken’.

PODCAST 165 - A Plodcast Emerges

A windy, waffling, dogless dog-walk across the English countryside with an out-of-breath man grasping for understanding in a war-torn world.

Podcast Soon

Katie had to have an operation (nothing serious) and I’m Erin Brockoviching hard. Back asap.

Recent craft projects with Winter pictured. I hate that light leaks out under the fairy house roofs if I’m honest. It’s deeply unrealistic in an otherwise scientifically-accurate rendering. (They’re just glass jars with air-dry clay on, and electric tea-lights inside. If you fancy making a night-light for an imaginative but nocturnally-cowardly child)

((Sally and Paul Brazil were ...

PODCAST 164 - Royal Albert HooHa

Noel's in the Maldives, I'm in the doldrums and Paul Brazil is in the doghouse.

Pictured is a cursed heirloom signed by all three of us before the night took a turn.

Talking Tomorrow Night

Questions welcome. Ones with the most likes will get asked. It’s democracy manifest!

PODCAST 163 - Too Loud Busker

A meandering chat with Nico about the highs and lows of using music to rob the elderly.

Couldn't find a pic of the squeezy gorilla toy we talk about, it's been deleted from history! Mandela effect? Anyway, I used a picture of Nola, who has started to look at me the way everyone else in my life does.

Tonight

Captain Seaside. By night, an unremarkable yet handsome DILF. But by day he becomes… a vulnerable man on public transport.

PODCAST 162 - Heal The World

People who get to the end of this one should get a special medal.

Working on Merch ideas

Sorry for the delay in getting a new show out, I'm doing a solo later. Out tonight/tomorrow. X

Retainer Man Flexes

I have not been coerced into saying the following:

Last night Nico put an exclusive extra hour or so of classic Nanny/Nana bickering on his Patreon. But there is a magical twist. It’s kind of like BTS footage that he got as we wobbled around Brighton and Hove, giggling, arguing and trying to keep out of trouble. It’s pretty funny and even has a timeline and a dreamy bit in the middle, go and give it a listen and check out all his little offshoot podcasts like Tea and Empathy and The...

PODCAST 161 - Nico Strikes Back

Live (almost) from Captain Seaside's funky fun palace in Be-right-on. Like sliding into a comfy old slipper... but one with a stone in it. The stone being our unresolved business disputes... In fact, forget the whole slipper thing, It's a dreadful army boot full of nails.

MMPOD Bonfire of Dreams Part 2 - Now That’s What I Call Music

Paul Brazil assures me that spreadsheets are the new underground mixtapes.

Podcast 160 - Bonfire of Dreams P2

In a high tower within the Fortress of Solitude, two men peruse the offerings. The more wizened (and shorter) fellow, a famed and wayward minstrel, nods silently to the other. It is time. His nervous apprentice (though possessed of a rugged and muscular body befitting of a warrior) lowers the torch flame to the pyre. The conflagration bathes them in its hellish glow. This is the bonfire of dreams, part two.

(Solo out next couple of days, then Nico)

Solo This Weekend

Sorry, we’ve all got ‘slapped cheek syndrome’ at my house. Yep, that’s a thing. My foot is also throbbing from an injection with a syringe that looked like a prop from the Benny Hill Show. I’ve achieved fuck-all this week.

But it’s not all doom and gloom:

Me and Noelo are recording Bonfire 2 on Monday night! Plus I’m off to Brighton to record with Captain Seaside (and stay on his pull-out mattress) on Thursday.

But before all that, one last solo… Maybe inst...

Watched The Fly

Jeff Goldblum’s clothes were doing my head in until I realised where I’d seen that look before.

PODCAST 159 - Savagely Saucy

The Nightwalker returns but sat down in the daytime, lamenting the youth of today.

I will go out at night soon, I'm not scared. Not of the night anyway, just everything else.

X

Tardy

Was meant to do a camp episode with Hazy this week but the weather was too bad and we didn’t want to be WAPs.

So, doing that in 2 weeks. Going to Brighton next week to record with Captain Seaside in his lair. Bonfire of Dreams 2: The Flames Rise Higher coming soon too.

But for now, a solo. Would you like a wheezy, cowardly ‘NightWalker’ episode or another drivelling ‘Home Alone with AI’ episode?

PS- the Orc is back and I’ve set up the piss shed to film craft vid...

PODCAST 158 - War! What is it Good For? Documentaries.

Late night drivel purge, with my robot assistant.

ALL Bonfire of Dreams Songs

Now you can have the Bovril Boys as the first dance at your wedding.

(Thanks to the living saint Paul Brazil)

The Bonfire of Dreams

The Spotify playlist courtesy of Pauly B.

Pics from Horror Walk

Yes it was 6.30pm but I’d inadvertently had caffeine and Ritalin together and given myself anxiety. And it was very dark.