ddwebb

3.11 In Which the Dark Lord Gets the Bad News

Things moved much quicker after that.  Once Sneppit started giving orders, goblins scurried off in every direction and we found ourselves swept along with the tide.  Just minutes after the confrontation on the tram platform, Yoshi and I were being seated at a low (for us, everything here was goblin-sized) table in an obvious conference room, with Sneppit, Rizz, and several others I hadn’t met yet.

“Sorry about the furniture, boys,” said Sneppit as the two of us seated ou...

3.10 In Which the Dark Lord Keeps the Peace

This must’ve started as soon as I walked away from them; by this point they weren’t even arguing, just screaming insults.  I got the gist as we strode back to the top of the stairs, moderating my customary pace so as not to overwhelm Sneppit’s short legs.  Just because Gizmit the spy (“maid,” my ass) could keep up with me at a jog didn’t mean the expensively-dressed businesswoman could, or would appreciate being made to.

Ydleth was on a tear about how evil and gene...

3.9 In Which the Dark Lord Shakes on It

My experiences in Cat Alley and points since made me feel incredibly sleazy for it, but my more recent epiphany about Enjoin’s potential made it the first thing I noticed: Miss Sneppit was hot.

Not in the effortless way of, say, Nazralind, who had never shown any indication that she knew how to operate a hairbrush.  On the contrary, Sneppit was more meticulously and aggressively made up than even Minifrit, and her sense of style was splashy enough to practically fill the room. &n...

3.8 In Which the Dark Lord Gets Taken for a Ride

All the awkward silence of walking away from an emotionally draining experience with unfriendly strangers, plus the tension and fear of a loud city in the grip of multiple simultaneous riots, mostly involving people who would kill us if they thought they could.  Yeah, the short walk back to the tram station had it all.

Aster stepped closer to me, leaned her head in and spoke in a voice low enough that probably only the goblins and familiars could overhear.

“You remember whe...

3.7 In Which the Dark Lord Cleans Up

A proper isekai’d Dark Lord would probably be some kind of military history otaku, someone who could take a bunch of bandits and use his armchair knowledge of medieval warfare to turn them into a real, effective army.  Actually, from the tidbits I’d picked up, I think that might’ve been Yomiko’s backstory.  It was not mine.  I haven’t even read the entire Art of War; it’s awfully dry.  I don’t know any military history because history bores ...

3.6 In Which the Dark Lord Makes the Call

Unfortunately for this particular gang of Goblin King adherents, their leader had backed up so far into the crowd that he was pressed on three sides.  Consequently, when the flames of Immolation took him, a good half a dozen got seared.  Instantly what remained of their attack group dissolved into panic, with goblins bolting in all directions and those nearest the exploding sorcerer howling nearly as loudly as he now was, rolling on the stone floor to put out the flames which had sp...

3.5 In Which the Dark Lord Helps

According to Gizmit, North Watch was a lot closer to the center of goblin society on Dount than to Gwyllthean, but we still had a bit of a walk ahead of us.  Fortunately her shorter legs didn’t slow us; Gizmit kept up at a constant jog without apparent effort, even though I set a pace that was brisk even by human standards.  All of us knew there was no time to dally.  We passed branching tunnels and several more doorways into goblin dwellings or offices, all shut down tight. ...

defective author alert

I am having a major bad brain day and entirely failing to write.  Sorry...this is just something that happens sometimes when you try to do creative work while mentally ill.  These things always clear up sooner or later; I will try again tomorrow or ideally this evening, whenever I get another brain chemistry shift.  Sometimes a nap or a meal can help, it's weird stuff.  Anyway, I will attempt various things and have the chapter done soon as I can, but for now it's going to...

3.4 In Which the Dark Lord Finds His Sparkle

My people worked fast, but even so the effort of locking down the offices gave me sufficient time to compose myself.

Kasser and Harold brought in their full crew and rigged up the door with a solid bar to hold it shut, and a barricade that could be pushed against that at need.  All of it was supported by alchemical glue, ironically bought from the goblins, which Kasser assured me would hold up to stress as well as any spikes hammered into the stone walls, and be a lot easier and fa...

Short delay

Being sick this weekend has wrecked my rhythm; I didn't get enough of my usual prep work done and I'm still lagging in productivity.  I'm afraid the chapter isn't gonna be done by tonight.  Very sorry about that, but I'll have it finished ASAP.  Tomorrow, barring further mishap.  I will keep everyone posted.  Meanwhile I'm gonna go ahead and migrate the current chapter to RR.

3.3 In Which the Dark Lord Has an Idea. An Awful Idea. The Dark Lord Has a Wonderful, Awful Idea

I was honestly disappointed.  A throwing knife landed in my upper arm and an arrow in the opposite shoulder—an arrow from a goblin-sized shortbow, which barely packed more power than one of our stingers.  Another projectile I didn’t see properly whizzed over my head to impact the stone wall.  And…that was it.  My artifact amulet of course protected me from lethal hits, but it wasn’t taxed by the effort; compared to the volley of crossbow bolts that had pitched me i...

3.2 In Which the Dark Lord Descends

“That little vignette was basically the problem with human/goblin relations in miniature,” Biribo lectured minutes later when I convened my lieutenants in the conference room.  “Culturally, goblins live up to the Viryan emphasis on personal strength by cultivating their skills and wits.  They’re suspicious of any powerful authority and contemptuous of brute force.  Contracts and agreements are a big deal in goblin culture; they like to have everything laid out ...

3.1 In Which the Dark Lord Steps in It

“What the hell is all this?”

“It was left outside the fortress first thing this morning,” Minifrit explained, as always striking that off-center pose that accentuated her hips and pausing to blow theatrical streamers of smoke.  “The sentries reported that members of the cat tribe placed all this on the road in front of the gates.  Quickly, not responding to hails or challenges, and then ran back into the forest.  Kasser has looked over everything.”

She t...

Bonus 8 In Which Aster Has to Instigate the Talk

Aster strode through the dim corridor in the after-dinner quiet, allowing herself a soft breath of relief at the faint sounds of guitar music.  Lord Seiji’s door was no more soundproof than any other in North Watch, for all that he had the best room, and she’d been concerned about what she might hear.  He was playing something upbeat, which meant he was in a good mood—ideal for her purposes.  Different kinds of music could have indicated different kinds of awkward this co...

Update:

Cross-posting this here from my discord because I've only belatedly remembered some of you aren't there and I don't want the message to miss anybody:

***

Morning update because I believe transparency is part of professionalism:  

In working on the backlog of bonus chapters I selected the next one and spent the last few days mulling and then refining concepts until I came upon an angle that actually works and will make a good chapter...and discovered it won't work right ...

Bonus 7: In Which the Chancellor Schemes

He liked to hold private meetings pacing along this upper colonnade in the Viridian Palace for more than just its breathtaking view over Fflyrdylle and the rolling hills of Dlemath beyond.  Few were willing to climb all the way up here, even for the vista, and of course he had his own means of detecting interlopers before they saw him.  Still, it was a (relatively) public part of the Palace, so he didn’t receive reports that were too sensitive here.  Ultimately, it w...

Bonus 6: In Which the Ranger Springs a Trap

It was all falling apart.

Nazralind stood in the center of what had days ago been a tiny hamlet—not a proper village, but a cluster of houses where four families lived and worked the surrounding fields, out here near the very edge of the island.  Everyone was gone, hopefully fled; at least, she’d found no bodies.  Nothing remained of the houses but charred, burned-out husks.

She’d seen the aftermath of housefires before, they weren’t uncommon in Fflyr dwellings, ...

Break notice

Cross-posting from my author comment on the RR chapter that just went up, because I know some of you don't read the story on that site and I want everybody to be informed:

And that's Book 2!  I will be  taking a break for the month of March and the story will return first  thing in April.  My writing breaks don't mean that I'm not writing,  necessarily, just that I'm out from under the pressure of deadlines.  In  this case, that means there may be a fe...

Coda: In Which the Call is Heard

The miracle stone was visible for limns in every direction, its incredible height rising as it did from nearly the center of the Bronze Reaches.  The savanna had only occasional outcroppings of rock and small stands of stunted khora, nothing that would impede the view; the stone could be seen from nearly every part of the Reaches, even from the surrounding mountains if one had a decent spyglass.  Razik had tested that himself.  Even without one, the glowing crescent moon symbol...

2.45 In Which the Dark Lord Wears the Pants in the Relationship

“Now then,” I said, exercising my full stage presence to make my tone even more condescending than the question inherently was, “what did we learn?”

The lesser nobleman—lesser apparently because he was running errands for Clan Olumnach in the Gutters, though he was as pale and blond as any man I’d ever seen—struggled back up to one knee, breathing heavily and glaring pure hatred at me while his clothes smoldered.  I had to give the guy credit: most people were crying ...

2.44 In Which the Dark Lord Loses Patience

“So, here’s the situation, based on what I’ve learned.”

Ten days later we were back around the conference table in North Watch.  With the same number of people as my original council, even, the empty seat having been filled.  Not just the same physical chair; Nazralind occupied more or less the same niche as Sakin had, though her skills were a poor substitute for his.  Probably—it occurred to me now I didn’t actually know what real-world experience he had, and...

2.43 In Which the Dark Lord Catches a Break

We could afford neither to waste time nor charge in blind, that was the dilemma.

Step one was to send out the gwynnek riders, loaded down with as many healing slimes as we had containers for, to both distribute those among my people encamped in the forest and carry out a damage assessment.  I designated one of the mobile camps closer to Gwyllthean as a meeting point toward which I would head directly with a small support team, just enough people to carry relief supplies to replace ...

2.42 In Which the Dark Lord Gives Peace a Chance

I was right: dragging a body by the ankle over rough terrain was just about the most needlessly difficult thing a person could do.

We’d only just emerged onto the main road before a gwynnek came dashing up from the fortress, fast enough it had nearly reached us before I identified Newneh with Nazralind sitting astride her.

“Oh, Goddess be thanked,” the elf gasped as they came to a halt.  “I mean, ah, no offense…”

“I’m not really devout,” I said.  ...

2.41 In Which the Dark Lord Puts His Foot Down

With my uncannily glowing familiar leading the way, I slid down the ladder to the landing below and threw myself down the stairs, which was not just a turn of phrase; I descended in a long jumps that as often as not resulted in ungainly crashes at the next landing down, followed by a pink flash of Heal so I could do it again.

A distant part of my brain was aware that Lady Gray was no longer a high priority and hadn’t been for a while, and that I had seized on this in desperation to fe...

2.40 In Which the Dark Lord Destroys

I did not have sex with Minifrit that night, because as usual she was annoyingly right about everything.  The work was…exhausting.  This might be the weirdest therapy I’d ever heard of and probably wouldn’t fly in any doctor’s office on Earth, but the fact remained that it was therapy, and it was a lot more challenging than it was enjoyable.  Having flashbacks and panic attacks repeatedly triggered will take it out of you; we just didn’t get that far before I...

2.39 In Which the Dark Lord Gets Some Help

It ended up being for the best that I had that aside in the pantry.  Part of the reason for coming back to base right now was to make my reassuring presence known to the troops, especially the newbies; if I’d sat down in the dining hall in the mood I’d been in after learning about Lady Gray’s ongoing bullshit I probably would’ve just scared people.  At least now I was more relaxed.

Doubtless the newer hands still thought it odd that I sat down with my stew and wyddh at...

2.38 In Which the Dark Lord Leaves an Offering

The mess hall was filling up as everyone settled in for the evening meal that was soon to be served, and Sakin took advantage of the hubbub to slip away.  It made me…wonder.  Shirking duties was not among his…let’s call them “interesting character quirks,” so I could assume his presence wouldn’t be needed for Minifrit’s thing.  On the other hand he wasn’t one to miss out on something that could be important, and he and Minifrit never missed an opportunity to com...

2.37 In Which the Dark Lord Catches Up on the Gossip

The only tricky part was getting out of the city; we ditched most of my adoring crowd by heading straight into the poison khora grove.  Really useful, that, now that I knew it was there.  A few stubborn individuals tried to track us further, but with Biribo’s help and that of a couple of fast-flowing streams, we gave them the slip.  Then we linked up with one of my bandit gangs in the area, who had been told to watch for us via gwynnek messenger.  I was almost as glad of...

2.36 In Which the Dark Lord Carries a Big Stick

The plan didn’t call for a mass use of my forces, but after the last time I’d tried a major operation in the Gutters and gotten dumped in the river full of quarrels for my trouble, I was playing it safe.  Already I’d blundered by going back there with just myself and Aster, and in hindsight I’d been lucky nothing came of it except that we had to briefly separate when I visited the Kingsguard headquarters.  This time I was planning to draw as much attention as I could and cou...

2.35 In Which the Dark Lord Speaks Softly

The long as the short of it was that I had nothing immediately to worry about.  Olumnach had several dangerous-sounding Blessed, but was unlikely to leverage them at me; he liked to keep them nearby for his own family’s protection, and since it was known among the Clans who employed what Blessed, sending them to do anything disruptive in or near Gwyllthean would get him in hot water with the Archlord.  I could only hope I could bait him into that mistake, but otherwise, I wouldn�...