commentiquette

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Drinking"

I was going to scan my shot list for the montage but then I realized I had scratched everything out and it was illegible. Lesson learned, and that lesson is to drink more.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Spying on People"

In today's lesson we learn that spying on people is actually a really fun and rewarding hobby! Also we spy on a beautiful VR Chat romance, and Erik realizes he needs to moisturize his face more often.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Back to Normal"

Holy shit we finally made it guys. We're finally back to normal. Take a breath, relax, pour something nice for yourself and tune into this saturday class where we're learning how to act normal again in this unofficial sequel to Bo Burnam's Netflix special where it's all good again and nothing changed for the person in question other than a haircut.

REMINDER: Submit Haircut Ghost Predictions!

Quarantine Erik is ready, are you? Send your DM's if you haven't already!

Full post here:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/submit-your-erik-52094139

Submit your "Quarantine Erik" predictions! [SERIOUS]

Hello my beautiful AP Etiquette students. I understand you’re all very busy studying right now for the next pop quiz of the week, but let me bend your ears for just a moment because I am in desperate need of your input. This Quarantine Erik guy with the beard and the hair, he’s going to be leaving us soon. But as we’ve seen over and over again in the Etiquesette, no haircut truly dies.

Quarantine Erik knows all that will happen in the next five years. He wants to know if you do to...

Let's Get in the Middle of It: "Hot Tob Whine Machine"

In today's lesson, I go into fucking debt because of parasocial relationships.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Florida Man"

In today's fast-paced stressful world of depressing news headlines meant to elicit dread in all but the most apathetic reader, sometimes we have to appreciate when a headline can just make you laugh at the misfortune of others. That's why "Florida Man" is so special. Say what you will about the policies in place that allow unfettered access to Florida arrest records, but boy howdy does it lead to a good old time when you just need to kick back and be thankful you're not a raccoon. 

The Lost Yahoo Rewrites (PDF)

Whenever I write a lesson, I like to take it to my study with a glass of something strong and proceed to demolish it, angrily crossing out entire pages and filling the margins with chicken scratch. For this lesson, I ended up draining an entire bottle plus several pens. The end result I hope was a fitting goodbye to a website that we only ever used to make fun of because it was stupid.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "The Last Yahoo Answer"

This lesson had more rewrites than the bible. Maybe it was just me having a hard time saying goodbye to one of the last great websites. There really is no perfect way to encapsulate what this place was like to visit, so I decided to make it a personal journey for closure. And now we can let Yahoo Answers rest.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "It's So Hard to Be Nice"

In today's lesson, not a single window survives when Erik does the unthinkable on Twitter. Also don't worry about that Narfi scene. I was actually behind the camera telling her she's a good girl and promising her cheese the whole time. Anybody want the index card from the end of the lesson?

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Get a Vaccine"

This one was entirely worth it for the students in the comments telling me I sold out to big pharma. Uhhhhh yeah of COURSE I sold out to big pharma??? Who else is going to get me a new liver in ten years? Anyway get vaccinated.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Algorithms"

Before sitting down to plan this lesson, I didn't fully understand just how much algorithms play into our daily lives. I still don't, but at least I've found my new favorite minecraft porn.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Playing with Fire"

We have fire to thank for nearly everything we take for granted in our lives. But what happens when we take this glorious discovery and use it for our own twisted amusement? Well what happens is you set grandma on fire you stupid idiot. Buy a fire extinguisher!

Internet Comment Etiquette: "The Perfect Ad"

What makes the perfect ad, and what does it have to do with Rip Torn getting a blowjay? All questions will be answered during this exciting keynote presentation from CEO Salviastacks head of marketing at Nude Celebs for Free.

HALLOWEEN 2020 SPECIAL

I dunno about you guys, but my 2020 has been going fuckin GREAT. I got this sweet new gig at the Society of Etiquette, and they've got me doing fun research projects. And hey wouldn't you know, on my very first assignment I found something that is going to change the way we look at life. I just hope I can get enough data!

Internet Comment Civil War Etiquette

In today's lesson, we take a look at the future. Or at least what the future won't be if Erik's mission is a success. Will good and proper etiquette save the day, both there and now? Well it's only 12 minutes long so go find out.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Refusing to Laugh"

Today's lesson comes as Teacher Erik searches for the cure to his inability to laugh. What will it take to finally break him? Guess we'll just have to watch a bunch of fart videos and maybe have an existential crisis to find out.

Tweets From the Class #21: "This Is Not Us"

Again, this is not a lesson so no patreon charges here! Now the next two days, oh yeah those will be charged.

NOBODY IS BEING CHARGED FOR THIS TWEETS FROM THE CLASS

I just wanted to let you all know I did another tweets from the class

Internet Comment Etiquette: "I Hate The Postal Service"

In today's lesson, we learn that Erik might not be entirely up to date on what's going on in the world. Other than that though, he clearly has wonderful taste in music and knows exactly how to properly articulate his needs in comment etiquette form -- and may Christ have mercy on anyone who disagrees.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "The Passion of the Karen"

In today's lesson, we explore what makes a Karen. Is she a conglomeration of horrible attributes that we've identified in humankind? Is she forgivable? Is Karen a slur? I don't know, and that's why this is such an important lesson. Hopefully by the end of this we all have enough knowledge of the Karen to fight her in The Witcher 3

July Update, plus NEW LESSON

Okay new lesson is here, not charging on patreon for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnWs5I95MH4 

I didn't want to drop a last-minute-of-the-month-patreon-backed-video on you folks, as this was mostly just to break in a new camera and also I owe you sons of bitches some serious content. Stay tuned my dear extra credit students, and whoever's pooping in the men's room urinal just know we're getti...

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Masks are for Losers"

Yo brah I'm not gonna lie, I dunno why all these bitches are complaining about masks and shit. Like just lemme buy my avocados, I got a lot of guac to make -- and you're lucky I don't need the bottle of mezcal you got in your cart because in another life I'd dive-bomb you through a display of heirloom tomatoes to get that shit for my spicy margs tonight. FUCK I wish I could hug my bros but this'll have to do. I love you all brah, please post your best dope ass positive energy in the comments ...

Internet Comment Etiquette: "FIREWORKS!"

Why the hell is everyone shooting off rockets outside and what does that have to do with shooting at my DOG

Original Script for "Bogus Copyright Claims"

As you all know, I recently received an amazing happy ending in regards to a youtube copyright claim. We're talking top three happy endings of my life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwp881tK6IA 

That said, attached here is the original sad ending script that I eventually had the joy of rewriting. It's not that different, but there's some stuff about what I would have done if the claim had actually...

Internet Comment Etiquette: "My Favorite Comments"

Well the months are starting to bleed into each other, and all we're seeing around us is chaos. Let's allow ourselves a brief moment to just sit down and remember us the good ideas, thanks man.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "Staying Unmotivated"

I know we're all tired of hearing from folks who would like us to be super motivated right now, and to them I say NO. I'M GONNA SLEEP UNTIL 6PM

Internet Comment Etiquette: "The Clorox Plan"

It's pretty rare that I have a lesson with loads of outtakes, but this one is absolutely un-stuffed with them. My original cut was 20 minutes and I think this is like 15 or so. I'll find a funny way to mash them all together so that they don't drag themselves down the way they did my lesson.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "The Revenge of 5G"

In today's lesson I finally post something that I feel bad about! Well not really, but it's important to seem like you feel bad about these kinds of things while secretly feeling proud.

Internet Comment Etiquette: "March to a Million" Parts 1 & 2

Hey students, so this wasn't a full lesson until I finished both parts of the epic saga. What a goddamn month it's been! I have a lot planned for April so long as I don't run out of boxed wine and tuna cans. Be well students, I love you all, and don't touch your face.