E. Patrick Lacerna, aka Random Mudkip, The Woodsman, Velvet Canopy

B2: Interlude 4

Interlude 4

I sat on the uncomfortable chair within the god sanctum, called here like the other eleven gods by the hermit god Vardin. The seat, fashioned from some pretentious marble and gold combination, felt too small for my frame. Just like this meeting felt too small for my temperament.

I shifted my weight, the chitinous plates covering my body scraping against the ornate furniture. Several of the other gods glanced my way with irritation. I didn't care. Let them be a...

B2: Chapter 69: Truths Revealed

Chapter 69: Truths Revealed

I remembered everything.

The flood of memories crashed through me like a tidal wave, sweeping away the fragile identity I'd constructed since awakening in the Hellzone. I wasn't just Widow, or No Eyes. I wasn't merely a broken monster who'd stumbled out of darkness.

I was Vardin, King of Ispara.

Images flashed through my consciousness with brutal clarity. I saw Ispara, a verdant kingdom stretching beneath blue skies, its fields dott...

B2: Chapter 68: Old Acquaintance

Chapter 68: Old Acquaintance

I watched sunlight filter through the high windows of the Academy's east wing, dust motes dancing in the golden beams. My mechanical fingers traced patterns on the worn oak desk; an old habit I'd developed when processing complex thoughts.

More than a month had passed since I'd executed Shawe in the arena. The memory still played vividly in my mind: his face contorting in terror as my tendrils burst from beneath crimson robes, the satisfying resistan...

B2: We Gods

We Gods

I stood upon the grand balcony of our sanctuary, gazing out at the realm we now commanded. Two thousand years had passed since we claimed the Primordials' power, yet only now did the land show signs of recovery. Mastering our Mantles had consumed twenty centuries… twenty centuries while the world beyond our walls shattered and reformed, like quicksilver constantly hardening and melting in an endless cycle.

The sky shifted before my eyes, azure bleeding into viol...

B2: Chapter 67: Old Fanatic

Chapter 67: Old Fanatic

The stands began emptying, spectators filing out in stunned silence as attendants entered the arena to clean up what remained of Professor Shawe. Blood soaked into the sand as they worked, creating dark patterns across the battlefield.

I retracted my tendrils beneath my robes and moved with mechanical precision toward Headmaster Reins before he could depart. The golden dragon heads remained hidden, though their presence was unmistakable in the way ...

Chapter 66: Fool's End

Chapter 66: Fool's End

Dawn broke over the Academy spires as I completed my final preparations. The duel with Shawe approached, and every detail mattered. I selected a length of pristine white cloth and crimson silk from my supplies, carefully fashioning them into flowing robes that draped from my waist.

The garment served multiple purposes. Its primary function was tactical: concealing the connection points where my nine tendrils joined my torso would prevent Shawe from ...

B2: Chapter 65: Nine Dragons

Chapter 65: Nine Dragons

As we emerged from the Hellzone's oppressive darkness into the Academy's familiar corridors, three familiar figures rushed toward us. Copelan, Patter, and Eyarna had been waiting at the entrance, their faces etched with worry that instantly melted into relief.

Eyarna, normally reserved, threw her arms around each of us in turn, tears streaming down her face. Her embrace was gentle but desperate, as if confirming we were truly solid and alive. Patt...

Art: War Academy

A rendition of the War Academy.

B2: Chapter 64: Dubious Faculty

Chapter 64: Dubious Faculty

"Widow!" Annes' voice echoed through the tunnel. "Where are you?"

I lifted my head from Langdon's body to see my companions racing toward me, accompanied by six strangers. Their gear showed the wear of seasoned adventurers: scuffed leather, patched armor, weapons marked by countless battles.

Genta reached us first, skidding to a halt. Her orange-spotted face crumpled at the sight of Langdon's lifeless form. Tears welled in her yellow eyes...

B2: Chapter 63: Our Teacher

Chapter 63: Our Teacher

I stared at Langdon's battered form, taking in the dried blood spattering his armor and the deep gouges carved into the metal plates. His clothing hung in tatters beneath, speaking of countless battles fought to reach us. Dark circles rimmed his eyes, and his shoulders sagged with exhaustion. Yet his sword arm remained steady, unwavering as he faced down the dragon.

The sight of him stirred something deep within my fractured memories; a sense of sa...

B2: Chapter 62: Platinum Dragon

Chapter 62: Platinum Dragon

The memory surfaced as I stared at those dozens of gleaming eyes; nights spent poring over ancient tomes in the Academy library, searching for information about the creatures that stalked these depths. Dragons weren't a singular species, but rather a classification of monsters that shared one terrifying trait: they actively sought out the strongest prey.

Unlike other monsters who were mindless beasts that attacked anything that moved, dragons d...

B2: Chapter 61: Impossible Monsters

Chapter 61: Impossible Monsters

The Metallic Mantis's screech reverberated through the tunnel, its iron body thrashing against my tendrils' grip. Annes darted in, her auric steel blade finding gaps between the creature's armored plates. Sparks flew as metal met metal.

"Keep it steady!" Annes shouted, dancing back from a wild swing of its bladed limb.

I braced my frame, the pneumatics in my torso whining as I tightened my hold. The monster's carapace groaned under th...

B2: Chapter 60: Dark Tunnels

Chapter 60: Dark Tunnels

I tracked the Lurking Horror through Three's sensors as it slithered overhead. My auric steel tendrils coiled silently around my companions, ready to yank them away at the first sign of danger.

Genta's light winked out, plunging us into absolute darkness. The creature's bulk dragged across the stone with a sound like wet leather on glass. The corruption coating the walls muffled its movements, making it impossible to pinpoint its exact location by...

B2: Chapter 59: Deep Delve

Chapter 59: Deep Delve

I studied the crowd gathered before the Academy Hellzone's gates. Four Academy teams lounged against pillars or sat on benches, their postures relaxed, faces betraying boredom at this "school exercise." In stark contrast, the two Institute teams huddled near the walls, checking buckles and straps with trembling fingers.

One Institute girl's hands shook as she tightened her quiver strap for the third time. Her companion obsessively counted healing po...

B2: Primordial Machinery

Primordial Machinery

I beheld the demesne of the Primordial of Machinery with both awe and trepidation. It floated several hundred feet over a vast, deep chasm, a palace of gears and pipes and endless mechanical minutiae cobbled together into a messy garble of an industrial nightmare. Stacks of chimneys stood out at odd ends, belching foul black smoke into the clear blue skies. And even from a mile's distance we could detect the steady, methodical pounding of hammer meeting anv...

Chapter 58: Celebratory Feast

Chapter 58: Celebratory Feast

The sounds of celebration filled room 401. Copelan and Patter had transformed the usually spartan space into a makeshift banquet hall, desk surfaces crowded with purloined delicacies from the Academy kitchens.

"Best part about being a noble?" Copelan smirked, arranging plates of roasted meats and fresh bread. "The kitchen staff never questions when you ask for extra portions."

Annes snatched up a dusty wine bottle, her grin fierce in th...

B2: Chapter 57: Second Round

Chapter 57: Second Round

The crowd's excited murmuring fades as Reins called for the remaining captains to come forward. Twelve of us approached the battered metal pot, its dents and scratches telling stories of countless tournament draws.

I reached in, metallic fingers brushing against folded papers. On it was one simple number: six. Scanning the other captains, I caught House Swords' leader, a thin noble with perfectly coiffed hair, holding up his matching slip.

H...

Art: Widow

Just some AI art of Widow wearing the War Academy uniform.

Chapter 56: First Round

Chapter 56: First Round

I scanned the packed arena, spotting Patter and Copelan in the front row. Their enthusiastic cheers for "Gutter House" rang out above the general roar, drawing dirty looks from nearby nobles. The sight warmed something in my mechanical chest.

Twenty-four teams filled the arena floor, sizing up potential opponents. The Academy fielded eight teams, including all five chapter houses' best members under level 30. House Dragon's group caught my eye firs...

B2: Chapter 55: Tournament Begins

Chapter 55: Tournament Begins

The three weeks pass quickly, each day vanishing like mist. We spent our evenings in combat against the vicious beasts that prowled the Hellzone, honing our abilities and testing our limits, while during the day we were devoted to lectures and studies. My companions, though tired and weary, showed satisfaction in their progress. The monster students, Genta and Loland, managed to gain two levels, while my human friends each climbed one rank higher. ...

B2: Chapter 54: Gutter House

Chapter 54: Gutter House

Room 401 buzzed with excited discussion as we gathered around the battered study table. Papers covered in Copelan's neat handwriting lay scattered across its surface, with training schedules, combat formations, and tactical analyses all written upon the pages.

"So it's settled then," Annes said, tapping her fingers against the wood. "Our team will be the six of us."

I nodded, my mechanical joints whirring softly. The combination seemed optim...

B2: Chapter 53: The Announcement

Chapter 53: The Announcement

The Scorn Spider's legs thrashed against my auric steel tendrils, its massive body writhing as I pinned it to the cavern floor. Behind me, I heard Langdon shouting for everyone to fall back, but I knew this fight was already won.

Stay clear, I projected through Mind Speech, though my companions hardly needed the warning. They'd seen me hunt these creatures often enough in our secret training sessions.

One of my tendrils stabbed ...

B2: Chapter 52: War Frame

Chapter 52: War Frame

I shifted in my seat as Professor Howlett's voice filled the lecture hall. My mechanical joints creaked softly beneath my uniform, a constant reminder of my less than human nature as the diminutive professor extolled humanity's divine right to rule.

"The gods maintain order," Howlett declared, pacing before the chalkboard. "Without their power, chaos would consume us all." His finger jabbed at a map marking the location of the Hellzones. "These regio...

B2: Chapter 51: Hellzone Delve

Chapter 51: Hellzone Delve

The tunnel's magical torches cast dancing shadows as we descended past the first two levels. These areas remained empty as the Academy's diligent maintenance crews cleared out any monster nests that formed here.

Stay alert, I transmitted through Mind Speech as we reached the third floor. First contact incoming.

A chorus of chittering echoed through the passage. Three Cavern Crickets skittered around the corner, their armo...

B2 Chapter 50: Field Trip

Chapter 50: Field Trip

Two hours later, my friends returned from their expedition to find me waiting in my combat chassis. Their eyes immediately fixed on the obvious alteration; where two mechanical arms had once been on my back, a single serpentine tendril composed of auric steel now coiled behind me.

"What happened to your extra arms?" Copelan frowned, studying the new appendage with his usual analytical intensity. "Won't this reduce your combat effectiveness? You can'...

B2: Chapter 49: Heavy Metal

Chapter 49: Heavy Metal

Langdon stood in the training yard's center, his practice sword catching the morning light. For once, his hair was combed and his uniform bore no visible stains. The change in his appearance matched the sharp focus in his eyes.

"Gather round," he called. "Today's lesson builds on what you've learned of Titan Slaying."

We formed a loose circle around him. Even Patter, who usually hung back, pressed forward with interest.

"Watch carefully...

I have done it!

Celebrate, for I have done it! Now, the tier Revolver Girl truly is 20 chapters ahead of Royal Road. I have added five extra chapters today to the Revolver Girl tier, so that makes ten extra chapters up from the Tactical Critter tier.

Speaking of which, for some reason Patreon isn't notifying Tactical Critter members of when their chapters are being opened up. I sent a message to all Tactical Critter members today informing you of the chapter update. Did any of you get it? It should be ...

B2: Chapter 48: My Name

Chapter 48: My Name

I sat cross-legged on the cold stone floor of our basement hideout, surrounded by scattered mechanical parts and half-finished projects. The midnight hour had long passed, and the familiar sounds of my friends' footsteps had faded as they ventured into the Hellzone tunnels below.

Through my connection with Chonsey, I monitored their progress. The scout spider's sensors painted a clear picture of the group's movement. Taking the lead, Annes gripped her ...

B2: Chapter 47: Mirror Image

Chapter 47: Mirror Image

That night, I entered my dorm room. I barely spent time here anymore and only came during the night to pretend to sleep before heading down to the secret basement storeroom to either enter the Academy Hellzone or create more machinery.

The room remained pristine: bed made, desk organized, nothing out of place. Unlike my human counterparts, I required no comfort, no rest. This space existed purely for appearances.

I looked around, spotting th...

B2: Chapter 46: Titan Slaying

Chapter 46: Titan Slaying

It took a while to calm him down. Langdon kept apologizing, his hands shaking as he alternated between reaching for my severed appendage and pulling back as if afraid to cause more damage.

"I'm truly sorry," he repeated for the fifth time. "I haven't... I mean, it's been years since I..."

It's fine, I projected again, sitting cross-legged on the training ground.

I laid my mechanical hand beside me and began repairing it with ...