0037 - Year In Review (May) - 12 consecutive days of strips!
Day 5/12.Â
2023-12-19 18:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Achewood posts
0036 - Year In Review (April) - 12 consecutive days of strips!
Day 4/12.Â
2023-12-18 18:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post0035 - Year In Review (March) - 12 consecutive days of strips!
Day 3/12.Â
2023-12-17 18:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post0034 - Year In Review (February) - 12 consecutive days of strips!
Day 2/12.Â
2023-12-16 18:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post0033 - 12 consecutive days of Old-School strips! Year In Review #1
To show my sincere gratitude for your support, every day for the next twelve days, Achewood's Year In Review series will post a new Oldest-School-Style strip! We'll resume the tale of Tina and Téodor on January 5, 2024. Happy holidays, and thank you for enabling me to bring Achewood back to life!
2023-12-15 18:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostA Holiday Visit Home
The second of two holiday missives which you will receive from Peter H. "Nice Pete" Cropes this year. Read along as a nostalgic itch takes him on an impromptu tour of one of the many places his family took refuge in his early years.
A rough draft of this piece originally appeared in the Fanflow on December 27, 2009, but it has been so heavily updated as to carry an entirely different import, pathos, and portrayal of — yet again — alcoholic depravity.
2023-12-14 18:00:08 +0000 UTC View PostTime Capsules (pdf)
In this new bit of writing posted exclusively for the Author's Tier, I examine the phenomenon of the time capsule as it is practiced in our culture.
2023-12-11 18:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post0032 - The Account, Pt. 3
SPOILER ALERT: Tina's Awareness of Different Garnish Styles. The presence and style of garnish silently communicates specific information, and here Tina demonstrates a surprising appreciation for this rarefied dialect. Her easy use of the term "captain-cut" for Vandyke lemons (lemons cut in half with a zigzag pattern, ideal for single-handed squeezing over seafood) suggests a long familiarity with higher-end fried seafood restaurants, which typically serve a "Captain's Platte...
2023-12-08 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostDiscount code for 15% off at Achewood! Holiday shop closes Sunday.
The Achewood Holiday Pop-Up Shop is closing for the season on Sunday at midnight, so please order asap in order to secure your holiday gifts before they go away! Enter code HUUUGS at checkout for 15% off your order. This discount will combine with the FREE shipping on orders $80 and over! (USA only.) Orders placed by Sunday will arrive to USA addresses well ahead of December 24.
I'm s...
2023-12-07 19:01:27 +0000 UTC View PostThanksgiving 2023, Depeche Mode
Author's Tier members, you have spoken, and Even More Content it is! Today's update is from the two biggest events of the last week of November: Thanksgiving, and a Depeche Mode concert. I don't need to tell you which had better food.
Thanksgiving was very special to me this year because it was our first holiday as a new family: Lauren, my fiancé, and Hayden, with whom I have not had a proper holiday in several years. I was astounded that he elec...
2023-12-04 20:37:54 +0000 UTC View PostAuthor's Tier Poll: Content Frequency!
Are you getting enough bang for your buck in this, my VIP tier? (Or too much bang? Perhaps not enough bang?) Help me calibrate this tier to bring you optimal reading and parasocial* delight! Please vote, and if so moved, embroider your response in the comments.
I ask because, as a former subscriber to The New Yorker, I found myself overwhelmed by the teetering pile of magazines that steadily grew at the side of my living room chair, and...
2023-12-03 15:36:11 +0000 UTC View PostA Childhood Christmas in Nacre Shoals, W. Va.
The first of two holiday missives which you will receive from Peter H. "Nice Pete" Cropes this year. Read along and enjoy this heart-warming coming of age story, set deep in the impoverished but hopeful past of our reflective protagonist.
A rough draft of this piece originally appeared in the Fanflow on December 10, 2009, but it has been so heavily updated as to carry an entirely different import, pathos, and portrayal of alcoholic depravity.
0031 - The Account, Pt. 2
Have you ever worked for a marketing firm, digital agency, ad agency, branding group, design house, copywriting shop, or the like? Let's trade war stories in the comments this week.
In 1995 I secured an unpaid summer internship at a San Francisco boutique ad firm named—in a bit of on-the-nose foreshadowing*—Bertram Wooster Advertising. Their claim to fame was that they had just lost the Round Table Pizza account. I worked with an asshole named Christopher who drove a convertib...
2023-12-01 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post0030 - The Account, Pt. 1
In which Téodor — incorrectly pronounced "TEE-uh-door" by some, but pronounced correctly by others as "TAY-uh-door" — is shown in his element: scrambling to finally get a job on the actual day that rent is due. Never mind that most jobs don't start paying for two weeks.
While we're on the subject of pronunciation, a refresher on the most commonly mispronounced character names:
- Philippe: "f'LEAP," not "fuh-LEAP-pay."
- Emeril LeGoinegasque: "EM-uh-rill," not... 2023-11-24 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Thanksgiving Missive and Past-Blast (Serializer).
I probably give a silent thanks to you, dear supporter on Patreon, every day of the week, if not multiple times throughout each day. I give thanks when I wake, and sit with my coffee in the morning silence, and notice that my base anxiety has palpably diminished with the ongoing success of this project. I give thanks when I go install a new water heater on my kid's trailer out on the farm where he works, and don't have to fret quite so deeply over the price of the unit (or the price of PEX to...
2023-11-23 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostThe Day Where Nothing Added Up
Man, today just really added up to nothing, and everything seemed annoying. This is very unusual; typically I love my days. I’m excited to wake up, I’m excited to go restore the old fixer-upper, I’m excited to come home exhausted and shower and cartoon in my lazy clothes with the drawstring pants, I’m excited to fall asleep so i can do it all over again.
But today all my little errands just seemed to steal my day in unproductive quarter-hours, which steadily compounded my irrit...
2023-11-18 05:34:09 +0000 UTC View Post0029 - Back On His Bensington
In this strip we check back in with Bensington Butters, whom careful readers will recall is actually a man named Jimmie "Darnell" Hockawock, from Flokes County, Florida. Along with Ray and AKKOLADE, he is a "Brother in the Syndicate," a term for the members of a halfhearted group of musicians who do not like one another all that much, and meet at odd intervals in a Best Western conference room.
Spoiler alert ahead! Do not read the next paragraph before the comic, as it will...
2023-11-17 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostSweat Gets In Your Eyes, Part Four (end)
At the conclusion of my mini-series on running: The Marathon!
2023-11-15 16:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostYoung Peter H. Cropes: Military Intake Interview (pdf)
This piece started life in the Assetbar/Fanflow in November of 2009, but has been so heavily rewritten as to essentially be a new piece.
2023-11-14 16:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostNew Orleans Photo Tour
Thank you to all you first-water Author’s Tier subscribers for the plethora of New Orleans recommendations. Lauren and I made use of many of your hot tips, but were forced by morbid curiosity and national obligation to take a late night stroll down Bourbon Street, during which we dodged jets of vomit and conga lines of cockroaches in tiny strands of beads.
I cut too much summertime bait as a child to enjoy most fish-based cuisine, but even the stupidest last-resort restaurant he...
2023-11-13 16:47:19 +0000 UTC View Post0028 - Bandwidth
I got to thinking about how much extra energy is expended streaming all this video for phone calls, and it stressed me out. It used to stress me out when a friend said they streamed Pandora music in their car all the way to my house. All those zillions of bytes, heating up and bothering all those copper electrons and switches and routers...how much activity can there be before the earth just blows up?
And that is how you write Roast Beef: by copy-pasting from the primary buffer in...
2023-11-10 18:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostNew Orleans
Chochachos of the First Water, do you have any recommendations for traveling in this great city? We will be heading there soon, and do not wish to simply scour the haunted alleyways for sightings of Emeril whispering furtively to Anne Rice (she has a tall velvet Dracula collar). Fine food of every stratum, as well as hats and mansions, are what I’m picturing. Thank you in advance, and photos for your enjoyment will forthcome.
2023-11-10 15:35:57 +0000 UTC View PostSweat Gets In Your Eyes, Part Three
Part three of four. Prelude to the ambivalence to the return to glory.
2023-11-07 18:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostOuttakes from "Ray and Pat in, Road Trip"
Every strip generates lines that don't fit the story, yet still cry out for any audience whatsoever before they sink beneath the waves. These are those lines.
2023-11-06 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post0027 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 11 (Ending.)
In this conclusion to the "Road Trip" story arc — which we began in the heat of summer and now end in chilling autumn — we learn a bit of the origin story of Ray and Pat's friendship. ("Why do they still keep him around, anyway," is often in the air.) There was a time when this bold young talent was a hot commodity in the social capital exchange of the schoolyard. But then it all went profoundly mediocre.
Does it count if you're maturing but nobody's watching? Can sha...
2023-11-03 16:58:04 +0000 UTC View PostRay Has the Munchies, "HARD-type." Téodor Helps. (pdf)
This isn't exactly a Fanflow archive piece, though it largely originated there, in November of 2009. Ray seems to have flensed his tale of starvation and adventure into sharper focus in the intervening years, and even posed for a reenactment photo.
2023-11-02 04:59:33 +0000 UTC View PostLost Achewood: Recently discovered missing rows
Strip Title: "Small Times. A Look." Run date: January 15, 2010
As with most things of thirteen years past, I can't remember why I chose to remove the completed fourth row of this comic before running it. It feels perfectly on-voice, and even gives nice closure. Strange choices like this are a decent indicator of the pathologized headspaces one gets into when working alone on the same thing for a decade. Maybe I thought it was too gentle to be Achewood â...
2023-10-31 05:47:15 +0000 UTC View PostSweat Gets In Your Eyes, Part Two
I will not bore or delay you with words here! Please read installment number two of my running stories!
2023-10-31 03:27:40 +0000 UTC View Post
0026 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 10
It would be difficult to accept how much unsuccessful slang I generated in order to create an original phrase that means "barebacking." (The line, "Answer him, you Barebackin’ Beagle! You Nut-Smugglin’ Snoopy! You Lie-Pipin’ Snoopy!" sits to the side of the artwork you see here.) "Skinnydippin' the salami" was as good as I could do, and now here it rests, along with Ramathustra Ron's special mushroom chair.*
Which mushroom-fueled sequence tends to come to mind first, when you reca...
2023-10-27 17:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post