The crab tapped on the floorboards with a restless leg as he stared impatiently at the road.
Nearby, John opened his toolbox, its many drawers and compartments unfolding neatly as he did it, the contents all correctly arranged and lined in their perfectly sized spots. Hammers of different types, chisels of different sizes, levels and rulers, everything within had clear signs of wear, yet was all carefully cleaned and clearly well maintained.
The grizzly man retrieved a measuring t...
2023-07-04 12:00:06 +0000 UTC
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“Tristan?” the confused crab called, looking around for the man who was suddenly gone from his side.
“Holy shmokes!” the disheveled man said, standing in front of a shelf, gawking at it with a dumb expression on his face.
“Great, that sobering up didn’t last long,” Balthazar muttered. “Back to being a drunken fool, it seems.”
“Babaurhum!” the drunkard mumbled.
“What?” the annoyed crab said. “You’re slurring your words again.”
“No...
2023-07-03 12:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Another morning, another day of business.
Balthazar made his way across the wooden bridge as usual, the calm waters of his pond slowly flowing underneath him, the sun shining on his golden carapace. It was just another day at the crab’s pond.
Except, perhaps, for the broken railing on the side of his trading post’s platform, and the destroyed shelves and tables near it. An eyesore for the merchant.
And as if one eyesore wasn’t enough, he also found another unpleasant s...
2023-07-03 05:10:24 +0000 UTC
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Balthazar looked up through his spyglass, scanning the sky for a target from atop a boulder on the edge of his pond. All was quiet until he saw it: a small brown sparrow fluttering against the white of the clouds behind it. The tiny feathered creature hovered around before landing on the tip of a thin branch of the islet’s tree, its plumage blending in with the brown and gray tones of the tree itself. But the crab had it locked in his sights now.
“Right there, Blue!” he yelled out...
2023-07-03 05:10:17 +0000 UTC
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Balthazar sipped on his lemonade from atop a boulder as he watched the sunlight flooding the golden plains across from his pond. The wind rolled over the grass, causing ripples not too different from the ones on the water behind the crab. The sky was a pale blue, and while it was still far from cold, the weather no longer felt as warm anymore, indicating the incoming end of summer.
Putting his cup down on the rock, Balthazar brought up his system.
“Might as well take care of thi...
2023-07-03 05:10:03 +0000 UTC
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“I’m no specialist in goblins,” the wizard said, “but I don’t remember ever seeing one using a magical staff.”
Druma, with his wizard hat on his head and staff on his back, was still staring in awe at Tweedus with the widest of grins, like a giant crab who had just encountered a human-sized pie.
“Oh, uh, yes, this is Druma, my assistant,” Balthazar told the wizard. “He’s a big fan of wizardry stuff, if you couldn’t tell from his hat. The staff is just for pok...
2023-07-03 05:09:49 +0000 UTC
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Balthazar gave the wizard a good, long look.
He had a scrawny figure, and despite still seeming quite spry, he was clearly old. Very old. The long beard that reached down to his knees and his mismatching eye sizes only added to the deranged look, and his attire was not helping, either. Big wizard hat that crumpled in the middle from how large it was, old brown shoes with silly curling tips, and a purple robe that seemed two or three sizes too large for the old man.
If the monocle ...
2023-07-03 05:09:04 +0000 UTC
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“And you’re sure you’re feeling fine?” asked the crab.
“Yes, yes, boss!” answered the goblin.
It was yet another warm morning at the tail-end of summer, and Balthazar was seeing Bouldy and Druma off to the road, heading out to collect more trees to build the roof over the trading post.
It had only been a day since Druma had woken up from his fever, but the goblin was already eager to go back to work.
One thing Balthazar had to admit was that the little guy ...
2023-06-30 12:00:09 +0000 UTC
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For a witch, she sure looked nice. Maybe a little too much skin and not enough chitin, but still, not bad. And her eyes, like two precious gems that made a crab want to just pluck them and hide them in a hole.
Balthazar found himself wondering if she knew how to bake, too.
He was experiencing many strange and confusing feelings, but for whatever strange reason, that wasn’t bothering him too much.
Just like the sharp blade of the sickle the witch was holding wasn’t bother...
2023-06-28 12:00:06 +0000 UTC
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The day was nearly over, and despite his best efforts, Balthazar had not yet found a lead on the elusive frostshade flower. Every traveler who passed by had been of no concrete help, and even those who promised to look for it left the crab with little hope. Most of them couldn’t tell which way was north, let alone figure out where to find the right flower.
Lifting his gaze from the herbology book he was studying, Balthazar looked to the other shore, where the other three inhabitants o...
2023-06-26 12:00:09 +0000 UTC
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Balthazar watched as yet another adventurer walked away from his trading post with their gold payment. One more that had come by and left with no information on the flower the crab sought.
He looked down at the piece of paper the orcs had left him, a charcoal drawing of a flower made on it, and on the back the instructions on how to add it to the prepared concoction the shaman had left in a vial before departing.
“Why did it have to be such a hard to find flower? Couldn’t it j...
2023-06-23 12:00:07 +0000 UTC
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“No, sorry, I haven’t seen anything like that.”
“Are you sure? Think harder.”
“Nope, nothing. Wait, what color did you say it was? Purple?”
“No! I said blue!”
“Oooooh!”
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Did you see a blue flower like that or not?”
“Oh no, haven’t seen a blue one either.”
Balthazar felt an urge to tear his hair out, but fortunately, as a crab, he had no hair. Unfortunately, as a human, the advent...
2023-06-21 12:00:06 +0000 UTC
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It was already night, the sky was dark and starless, and a campfire crackled on the small inner islet, illuminating the surrounding area with a dim orange light.
Balthazar sat between it and the bed of hay where Druma lay, still feverish and unquiet in his unconscious state. Bouldy remained behind the goblin, quietly watching over him with a sad frown on his stony face. Blue was curled up on her cushion next to the big tent, head resting over her wings, but eyes still open, alternating ...
2023-06-19 12:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Balthazar, the talking crab. The merchant crab. Shrewd business maker. So much intelligence, such charisma. Reads so many books, makes so much coin.
And what did all of that even mean?
Could talk a drunken giant down, was able to outsmart a master merchant, managed to defeat a taxman. And now?
Stuck in the middle of a road, unable to go forward.
So sure that he was the smartest. Owner of his own destiny. All he did was his own choice.
But was it, really?
...
2023-06-16 13:55:01 +0000 UTC
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With a firm last step that shook the wolves’ balance, the stone golem pulled his other leg back and swiftly kicked the bigger attacker away from the overwhelmed crab.
The wolf landed several paces up the road, hurt, but not out yet.
The goblin jumped off the boulder’s shoulder and onto the ground. Pointing his staff at the wolf trying to bite through Balthazar’s shell, he released a stream of green magical bolts, knocking the creature off with a whimper.
Bouldy brought...
2023-06-16 08:32:23 +0000 UTC
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The crab stood atop one of the tallest boulders around his pond, surveying the area with pride.
His domain and influence were growing, a just reward for his efforts and cunning.
Adversities had come, and he overcame them. Whether they were monsters from the forest, or monsters from a tax office, he always came out on top, triumphing alone over his enemies.
Perhaps with a little help, sometimes, but mainly it was his genius making it happen.
He took a long look at the t...
2023-06-16 08:31:52 +0000 UTC
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The golden merchant tapped rhythmically on a table with his pincers as he hummed to himself, his eyes scanning an open book in front of him. This crab was in a good mood.
After having beaten his first “boss fight,” Balthazar felt better than he had in days, as if a massive weight had been lifted off his shell, and he could now look towards a shinier future. A future without the plight of taxes.
His mind now freed from those concerns, he decided the first order of business was ...
2023-06-16 08:31:09 +0000 UTC
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The beast reared its head and rejoiced as it gorged itself with each greedy bite, eyes closed, cheeks jumping in rhythm with the chewing.
Balthazar observed as his vile foe, the tax inspector, ate himself into an increasing stupor, satisfaction mixed with a hint of bitterness for all the fallen pastries lost in their clash. It was for a good cause, the crab kept thinking, promising he’d honor the noble sacrifices later.
Another form of solace came from the sidelines, where his o...
2023-06-16 05:34:56 +0000 UTC
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