You're cute when you're yourself. (Heracles/Hebe, mild nsfw)

no beta we die like men!

so uhh idk what to tag this with lmao, so if i can have suggestions, that'd be so cool! hope yall enjoy this :>

-----

Dying was somehow one of the best things to ever happen to Heracles.

When they first met, he wandered into the Garden of Hesperides looking to piss and found Hebe by herself, having a break from pulling (yes, pulling) a heavy cart filled with wine, honey, and other foods for an upcoming event.

It surprised him, and it surprised him further that she invited him to sit on said cart while she pulled it. Instinctively, he offered to pull the cart instead, unable to believe she truly did do the task all on her own. That was a job he as a man should do, right? Do all the heavy grunt work and help whomever is weaker than him. But she smirked and shrugged at him as she lifted the cart with no problem and began to walk towards her destination.

“Keep up, big guy, or not, whatever you wish.”

To say he never fell in love before was foolish, but how Hebe shrugged off his offer for help, then proving him wrong in the next breath made Heracles’ a little more than interested in this woman.

Plus, no one ever offered to cart him around before.

—

One would assume that the great hero Heracles became a lazy piece of shit after ascending to godhood.

He would agree with you 100%.

It wasn’t because he wanted to be lazy, he simply found himself unsure what to do anymore once he became a god. His days of being a hero are over entirely from what he was aware of, so he felt kind of bored most of the time, which resulted in him looking to do anything to feel useful and not be bored.

The ‘one’ who assumed he was a lazy piece of shit was Queen Hera.

Why this was a thing is because Heracles began to order drinks from Hebe almost every half hour. He would walk across the large main social room of Olympus, sit down on one of the cushions, and continue reading whatever text he found to occupy himself. Once he finished whatever drink Hebe made, he would make his way back to her, and ask for a more complex drink for her to make, which would result in him attempting to start up a small chat with her.

After a while, Hera would leave the room, which somehow encouraged Hebe to ask slightly more personal questions.

Hebe asked him about his scars and Heracles lit up like a sun. Yeah he's (was?) a hero, but everyone usually knew all of his adventures without him telling the story himself. To have someone ask him about any of them was a highlight in his day, especially the story about how he got his lion pelt and triple scars on his chest.

“Oh yes! This one here–” He pointed to his chest. “This one’s from the Nemean Lion! That oversized house cat would’ve made Queen Hera incredibly happy if it actually killed me!” He laughed and gave the pelt on his head a quick pat. “The beast was clever, but I was a little more clever and managed to kill it using its own claws! Luckily I didn’t ruin any more of the pelt than I did, it’s incredibly comfy to wear, especially during winter.”

Hebe smirked. “That's amazing, though, I suggest you speak carefully, you wouldn’t want mother hearing you say that so proudly.”

Heracles blinked and tilted his head. “Your mother…?”

Hebe gave him a nod, pouring his drink in his cup. “Yes, my Mother, Queen Hera, she was furious when she found out you killed her pet, it was the talk of Olympus for quite awhile!”

Heracles felt himself stiffen. Hebe’s mother… Is Queen Hera?! After he looked closer at the woman and connected the similarities, he felt as if he was dumped into an ocean of freezing water.

Of course she’s Queen Hera’s daughter! That should’ve been obvious!

He eternally punched himself for being an idiot for not immediately noticing the comparison between mother and daughter without her outwardly SAYING it!

He reached up to grip the arms of the lion pelt around him, unaware he was tightening the pelt around his throat as he tried to casually talk himself out of this conversation.

“REALLY NOW!!” His voice squeaked, he flinched. “WELL UM– Ahem, w-well I- I would not have done this if I KNEW t-the lion–  At the TIME I didn’t KNOW the lion belonged to your MOTHER– FUCK!!! LET ME START OVER—”

Hebe held her other hand up to signal him to stop. Heracles stood silent.

“You don’t need to walk around spikes with me like you do with mother.” She gave him an amused smile as she spoke. “If I’m honest, I want to know from the source of what really happened to my mothers beloved pet, and not some tale she fabricated.”

Heracles stared at Hebe and loosened the lion pelt around him as she spoke. She handed him his drink and pointed at the triple slash on his chest . “Now, I’ll ask again, how’d you get that scar?”

Heracles felt his cheeks darken from the sudden blush, feeling warm.

“...L…Lion...”

—

Hebe found Heracles funny.

He’s a huge guy who looked a little too much like her Lord Father Zeus (which she supposed that’s the same for him with her looking like Queen Mother Hera), but his personality was what made her look past looks.

At parties, she would watch him interact with others around him and found it interesting how he seemed to radically change himself to cater to whomever he’s talking to.

He would be cautious around Ares and Hera, doing his best to make himself appear smaller than both of them, despite being physically taller than both at the same time. He attempted to make up for his past transgressions to both of them, a feat that maybe one day, he’ll maybe meet for either of them, but knowing her family and their stubbornness, that was a wall one can never see the top of anytime soon.

He would be a lot more lax around Artemis and Athena, which really surprised Hebe. She knew both women to be somewhat reserved, especially Athena. They usually stayed at a distance from everyone where sometimes Hebe would have to physically go to them and ask if they wanted anything to drink. To see them be more social around Heracles made her smile.

He would be a lot more stiff around Lord Father Zeus and Lord Poseidon. He would simply nod along and agree with them without hardly saying a word back, which Hebe couldn’t blame him at all. Talking to those two felt like a chore and a half most of the time, since they seem to only talk about nothing, all while being the most obnoxious men to be around.

Heracles was incredibly casual with Queen Persephone, and always tried to make Lord Hades smile whenever the god made his way up to Olympus. Hades always looked annoyed whenever Hebe saw him. She knew this because his brothers, Poseidon, and Zeus, really like to talk to him like he’s one of them (especially Poseidon trying to get any details on Hades’ sex life). But in contrast to Persephone, she would be all laughs with Heracles and nudging her husband to make him stop being a grouch. He would cross and hide his arms in his himation while he would stifle a smile the whole time. It was sweet.

What really made her laugh was when she would watch Heracles be around Dionysus, Hermes, and Apollo. When he would be with them, it was like watching unadulterated joy in physical form. Heracles sometimes would throw Hermes, which Hebe had to admit, witnessing the messenger god fly at high speed through the air was a little too amusing to admit.

But when Heracles was around Dionysus and Apollo, it became incredibly gay, incredibly fast.

She knew Heracles liked men as much as women, he had told her stories of past lovers and his marriages, but what intrigued her is how he and Dionysus seem to encourage each other to say the most unhinged things one would passively hear, all while suggesting they have oral sex with each other.

And with Apollo, he would be on Heracles’ lap while they had drinks in hand, talking about whatever. Apollo would nearly fawn all over the new god like he was the most interesting thing in the universe. Hebe would watch Apollos free hand ghost over Heracles’ muscles, and sit a little too comfortably on his lap as they continued their conversation.

Hebe felt a twinge of envy when she watched the scene, which kind of scared her. She is her mothers daughter after all, and sometimes attitudes can be passed down, or learned. But she quickly learned she had no reason to worry. Every time Heracles’ drink was empty, he would bid farewell with whomever he was talking to, get up and make his way to Hebe to request for another incredibly time consuming drink, and ask her about her night so far.

It made her happy.

—-

Hebe had asked Heracles for assistance.

Despite her own height (about 6 '0), Hebe found herself a bit too exhausted to grab a ladder and get crates from the higher shelves, so she requested if Heracles could do it for her this time.

Unfortunately, the two other crates that were needed were farther back in the high storage, and even with the ladder, it was not enough for Heracles to reach.

Frustrated at their lack of height, Hebe suggested Heracles lift her up so she could grab and drag the barrels to the front.

Heracles hesitated at first, but agreed to the plan and lifted Hebe up by her thighs and pushed her forward enough so she could reach the crates.

Despite her peplos covering most of her body, it was on the more revealing side tonight than usual. She was always wearing something revealing, especially for her chest, but this time, it had a high slit on one side for her bare leg to be revealed whenever she walked. Heracles found himself pining to be between her legs the whole night, and her ass now fully in his face made him want her more.

He turned his head away, cheeks red from blush as his hands slightly squeezed the softness of her thighs as she shifted above him to keep balance. He heard the scrape of wood and Hebe leaned back to sit on his shoulder with a satisfied sigh.

“I wish people would stop pushing these things behind one another…” She gave him a pat on the head. “I’m not too heavy for you, am I?”

Heracles felt himself deflate at the softness of her breasts on top of his head, to the softness of her bare thigh by his face.

“Nuh–n-no um, light as a feather, actually…!” Heracles finally let Hebe down where she sat before. He fumbled with the arms of the lion around his neck as he went back to grabbing the crates.

When Hebe watched, she glanced down to his chiton and noticed it was a little too flared at the front. She made a soft hum before she spoke up again. “...Heracles?”

He faced her a little too fast and confirmed her suspicions.

“...Can you assist me in one more thing?”

He blushed, and nodded. “Yeah! W-What else did you need help with?”

In a silent motion, Hebe used her hand to beckon him over until he moved on his knees in front of her. She removed the head of the lion skin off of Heracles so she could properly see him, brushing some hair from his face too. The blush on his cheeks made him so cute.

“May you tell me what’s on your mind right now?”

Heracles blinked, unsure what she meant by the question. “O-On my mind right now?” The question confused him this time, but the fact that she allowed him to lay on her thigh and began petting the top of his head, it calmed him down, but also aroused him more.

His hands moved to feel the skin on Hebe's legs. They were as smooth as one could be compared to Heracles’ coarse and battleworn hands.

“...You Hebe, you’re very attractive and–”

She interrupted him.

“No need to be formal, either.”

Heracles had to pause for a moment as she leaned back and opened her legs for him, guiding him to move between them. His breath stuttered as he did and leaned his face against her mound.

“Hebe, you’re so fucking hot…”

“Mhm, and...?”

Heracles felt her nails gently scratch the top of his head and he shuddered.

“I wanna fuck you so badly, you have no idea…” He nuzzled his face on her, moving himself up with his arms and she let him. “You make me want to be indecent all the time…”

Hebe was quiet, but the blush on her cheeks told Heracles everything as she leaned back a little more while he moved up her body. His beard caressed her breasts as his strong hands held them up, pushing away the fabric that hardly covered them, revealing her scarless, smooth breasts.

Heracles sucked in a sob and squeezed them. “Holy shit your tiddies are innies…” Hebe moaned and giggled at his observation. It somehow aroused her more as she watched him suckle on them, then stopped.

“Hebe… Hebebebebe…” Heracles murmured her name as he moved lower, his face again pressed against her mound while he tugged on the fabric covering her. “Iwannafuckyousobadlytillmyballsareempy–”

And in an instant, he heard himself and turned away out of total embarrassment and let out a near blood curdling scream. He can’t believe he just said that out loud to the woman he’s infatuated with! How vulgar of him! Hera would very much see how much he was like Zeus where he would say such awful, unhinged–

Before he continued his thoughts, he heard Hebe laugh.

A full on genuine laugh.

He turned to face her again, confused. “...did… you like me saying that?”

Hebe nodded and smiled down at him. “Yes, I did.”

“You… actually enjoy me–”

Hebe interrupted him. “Yes, silly, you’re cute when you’re yourself.”

“...can I empty my balls in you?”

She moved the fabric of her peplos to the side from him, revealing herself to him.

“Please do, though, we should be quiet, especially after your scream… I wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, um… you know…” Hebe turned away from him, embarrassed, but her smile never left her face too.

—

Most asked Hebe why she didn’t step down from her usual jobs on Olympus after her and Heracles started dating. She’d shrug at the question.

“There’s no one to replace me yet.”

That was a half truth, most of her jobs were more for the servants, but she found them fun to do. It gave her something to occupy her mind when she wasn’t serving drinks. She drew baths for Ares whenever he returned from a war, helped out with everyone’s chariots, fluffed up pillows in the main social hub and kept the area clean, and did her most important job; being the cupbearer for the gods, serving drinks to anyone and everyone who requested one from her.

When she worked, Heracles simply watched her do her jobs around Olympous, asking for a drink every once in a while while almost shadowing her as if he was waiting for her to ask for his assistance.

When Hebe served drinks, Heracles noticed she never seemed to emote around anyone as she did him. If she did, she was very subtle and kept how she felt from everyone, or she’s just too tired of everyone’s nonsense to surprise her anymore.

Until Ganymede arrived.

Lord Zeus strode in with the young man beside him who looked as if he was crying moments before walking into the room.

“Hebe! Good news! You don’t have to do your boring, grueling work anymore and you can finally get married!” He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder and smiled, beaming as if this is the most exciting thing ever. “Hebe, this Ganymede, your replacement cupbearer!! Ganymede, this is Hebe! Say ‘hello Hebe!’”

It was so silent that it was enough where you were able to hear Queen Hera’s jewelry with her silent rage.

Ganymede stood there with his arms crossed, as if he was refusing to listen. Zeus nudged him to look towards Hebe. “Don’t be impolite now, say ‘Hello Hebe!’”

When Ganymede finally spoke, his voice was soft. “...Hello.”

Heracles has never seen Hebe look so upset in the time he’s known her.

—

When Heracles found Hebe, she was on one of the many balconies looking towards the night sky. She looked defeated.

“...Are you doing okay?”

Hebe glanced at him then back towards the sky and sighed.

“...I’m fine…”

Heracles doubted that and sat next to her with a pout.

“You are fine, but you don’t sound fine.”

That made her chuckle, but it was more of a sob.

“Is it because of the kid taking your job?”

Hebe shook her head no, “...Ganymede taking my job isn’t what upsets me, it's…” Her hands gripped her chiton as she did her best to keep everything in. “It’s that… he’s here in the first place…” She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes to dry them. “He’s just a kid…”

This was the first time he saw her cry. Heracles leaned over and hugged her close. She returned it without hesitation.

“Lord Father Zeus ordered me to apprentice Ganymede until he's competent enough to serve drinks on his own…” Hebe wiped tears away from her eyes.

Heracles frowned at that. “Is there no way for your mother to convince Lord Father Zeus–

“You don’t think I haven’t tried?!” He flinched at Hebe’s sudden outburst. She got up and paced around the balcony, her arms moved around expressively as she spoke. It was such a huge contrast from her usual calm demeanor.

“Mother can’t stop Father from whatever his mind is set on doing, or whom he’s doing, and even if she wanted to, she won’t! She believes the boy is happy to have Lord Father Zeus’ attention, as if she doesn’t complain about wanting Fathers attention every time he shows interest in someone else!”

Hebe grabbed a half empty amphora and chucked it off the balcony, not caring where it landed.

Heracles reached a hand out and held hers. She squeezed his back.

“...Can you help me with something, Heracles?”

He squeezed her hand back. “Anything.”

“...comfort Ganymede if I’m unable to, please…?”

He blinked, surprised at the request, but gave her a nod.

“I’ll do my best.”

—

Ganymede’s birthday came by, revealing that it was his 16th birthday today.

Abiding her rage towards her father for a minute, Hebe decided to give Ganymede a break from his training for the day. It was unfair to make one work on a day they should be celebrating their birth. “Is there anything you want for your birthday?”

Ganymede crossed his arms and curled up on himself. “...my actual wish, or something realistic?”

Hebe’s smile faltered for a moment, but continued. “Both, if possible.”

Ganymede glanced at the woman, unsure what to make of her offer.

“...I want to go home… I want my mom… I miss having my chickens around, and not that stupid rooster he gave me…”

Hebe felt her heart break. She wished she could take him away from Olympus, away from Zeus, so he could return to his old life as a prince.

“Well…” She sat down next to him and let him lean on her side. “You can call me mom, if you wish…?”

Ganymede hid his face in his arms a little, his words muffled, but audible. “...that’s weird…”

Hebe didn’t expect him to accept the offer, but he spoke up again, now looking up at her.

“Can I call you Auntie Hebe instead…?”

Hebe blinked, smiled, and gave him a nod.

“Of course you may.”

She made a mental note to give him a baby chick later for his present.

—

Queen Hera had tried to convince Hebe for months that there’s far better suitors out there for her than the awful excuse of a man and another bastard son of Zeus, Heracles, but Hebe didn’t budge once.

“Despite what he’s done to you, he has yet to do anything to me that would make me hate him. I love his company, and I love him.”

Hera’s expressions were priceless, as if she’s trying to comprehend anyone loving Heracles at all. “Honey, are you INSANE?! He is just like–”

“No disrespect, Mother, but If you’re worried about him being like Father, I’ll be the judge of that, not you. I will marry him, with or without your permission.”

Hebe's calm, but firm tone surprised Hera, then angered her.

“How DARE you–!”

“If you won’t officiate our wedding, I’ll do it myself, I’m still as much of a goddess of marriage as you are, and I will not hesitate to make sure you aren’t welcome.”

Hera’s outward rage compared to her daughter's inward rage was a sight Heracles never thought he’d see before. It was attractive of Hebe to defend him against Hera.

In the end, Queen Hera did officiate the wedding. Being a goddess of marriage and not being invited to a wedding would be quite embarrassing. Hera made sure to put in as much venom in her words towards Heracles as much as she pleased until the vows finished.

Hebe made sure to stay by Heracles’ side the whole time, aware that her brother, Ares, would attempt to find any way to harm her new husband in the name of their Mother. It made her sigh, yeah Hera hung around Hebe most of the time at the palace, but Ares was always the Mothers boy, and she always doted on him with whatever violence he desired to do in her name.

Hephaestus said it was pathetic, and Hebe had to agree.

—

Before the after party ended, Heracles finally met Ganymede. He moved to be on his knees, attempting his best to be at the same level as the boy.

“Hey, Hebe told me about you, and–” Ganymede glared at him, interrupting him.

“You look like him…”

Heracles felt like he was stabbed from that remark, but he can’t blame the young man either for such a statement. He looked almost like Lord Father Zeus without his lion skin on, save for the chest and face scars and more wild hair and beard, as contrasted from Zeus’ more neat look and near lack of scars, save for his birthing scars on his forehead and inner thigh (ask Athena and Dionysus).

Hebe soon crouched down with Heracles, nudged him on the side and they produced two chicks to Ganymede, which greatly surprised him.

“...C-Chickens?”

Heracles gave him a nod. “For your birthday, Hebe’s idea.” Ganymede held both chicks in his hands, smiled and held them close to his chest. He wondered if this was the first time the boy smiled when he arrived at Olympus. “...and don’t hesitate to visit either of us if you need to get away from everything, okay?”

Somehow, that was enough to have Ganymede tear up and lean against both of them. Heracles gave the young man a gentle pat on the back as he watched the boy cry into his wife's arms.

Once Ganymede calmed down, he leaned back from them. “...Thank you two… um…” he finally looked at Heracles. “Since I call Hebe, Auntie… can… I call you Uncle? I don't want to say um… her name, either…”

The question was sudden for Heracles, but not unwelcome, and smiled. “...you may.”