Fourth Dates

***This an especially long short story for some bonus content, a scenario I'd been itching to write after being inspired by a certain celebrity chef... I'd usually have split a story of this length but I felt it worked better as one piece. Mind, it is pretty relentless!***

It was a bad idea for a fourth date.

After the standard pub, movie, and restaurant, Cameron wanted to treat Harriet to something special, and upped the stakes by daring her to hike up the Great Ridge with him – where rolling grassland, rocky outcrops and increasingly huge trees separated humans from giants. It was a sweeping, untouched frontier, not far from the city, with a summit that took in both the hills of East Sussex and the vast huts of Gargantiork, a forbidden county that no sane human ventured into – but could be safely seen from the ridge.

Mostly, it was safe: the giants didn’t raid Sussex for food and in return the humans didn’t sneak into Gargantiork to steal massive jewels. But the rules were vague and unwritten. Encounters on the Great Ridge were unlikely, but it was also accepted that if a giant did happen to find dare-devil hikers there, then, well . . . the UK government wasn’t going to start a war over it.

But that was rare, Cameron kept reassuring Harriet, as they trotted up the steep inclines, laughing at their bravery. They were doubly reassured when they met a couple on a bench, maybe in their 50s, a man with a thick grey beard and his bespectacled, kindly wife. They said visited regularly to take in the views and had yet to see a giant up close. Though the bearded man did chuckle he one day hoped to!

Yet rare was not the same as impossible, and it was when Cameron had stopped Harriet to take a photo by a colossal tree trunk that the ground started shaking. They both froze in the sure knowledge that coming here was a mistake.

Cameron pulled Harriet behind the tree, the branches shaking above with each tremor of a giant footstep. They peered out as fingers wide as logs rose over the ridge, near the couple on the bench, and the monstrous giant pulled herself up. It was a woman with short dark hair, smooth-skinned and beautiful, with full, smiling lips and big eyes. She climbed up onto the ridge, the earth groaning under the strain of her weight, and planted a knee by the bench, a titan looming over the old couple. They stood, staring up in amazement, and the woman tried to take the man’s hand to lead him off.

“Run, you fools,” Harriet whispered, useless advice even if it could’ve been heard. Crouching down, the giantess was as big as a house – there was barely any cover to run for, and no chance of outrunning her. But the bearded man raised his chest with confidence. This giant did look friendly enough, dressed in tight jeans and a checkered shirt loosely tied under her ample chest – breasts bulging from a low-cut white top underneath. It was hard to believe a creature so impressive, both enormous and alluring, could truly be dangerous.

“Greetings, fair giant!” the bearded man started. Before he could continue, the giantess swept a hand down and grabbed him, the surprise and tightness of her grip knocking the wind from him. His wife gave a startled shout, and the giantess snatched out the other hand to grab her, too. As she lifted them, they both pushed against fingers thick as their legs, and the man tried to regain his composure to address her again. The giantess wasn’t interested in talking, though; she swung a massive leather satchel around from her shoulder and opened it. She tossed the bearded man carelessly in and his panicked shout was silenced as his wife fell in, too – right on top of him. The flap fell closed on them and Cameron realised it had a bulge to it, containing more than just the two people.

“Oh my God,” Harriet gasped, stepping back from the tree. Cameron shot her a warning look, sensing she was about to run. He opened his mouth to say no, but she sprinted from the cover of the tree. The movement caught the giantess’s attention immediately, and with a stretching grin, the monstrous woman rose up and stepped towards them.

Cameron wanted only to hide, but he’d been spotted too. He pushed off the tree and ran after Harriet, already ten metres away. The ground quaked as the giantess took another step after them, and Cameron didn’t dare look back, sprinting as fast as he could. A hand swept in from the side quicker than he could avoid, and he was squeezed hard around the waist as his running legs left the ground.

“No, let go!” Cameron yelled, pushing at the fingers wrapped around him. He was dizzied by the quick rise and could barely focus on the rapidly spinning countryside before he was released, dropping into a big, dark space. He landed on a throng of people, met by bony elbows and knees and shouts of complaint as he was tangled by bodies. As he pushed free, a scream outside announced Harriet had been caught too, and a moment later she fell in through the opening that looked up towards the sky. She shrieked as she landed on top of Cameron.

The giantess closed her bag, cutting off the light, and they were lifted with lurching stomachs, everyone bouncing together and struggling to find space. Someone shouted for order, to work together, but everyone else was panicking, pushing just to keep steady as the giantess walked. Every step shook them about. Cameron managed to wrap his arms around Harriet, and she collapsed sobbing against him as he insisted it would be okay.

“It won’t be bloody okay!” a man growled. “Giants only forage for one reason, idiot!”

“Weber, that’s enough!” a man scolded him, and he snapped back, “You know it’s true!”

“Shut up and give me a foot up, here, I can make it!” the other man said, and Cameron stood, using other bodies for support, to see movement in the dark. A few people worked together to lift the man, and a slither of light came in as he pushed his head out through the top of the bag. Yes, he could do it! There was hope!

More light came in as the giantess’s fingers pulled the corner of the bag next to the man. The huge woman’s voice came from the sky, booming but with a lighter, cheery edge: “Oh, have we got a feisty one?”

The man cried out and tried to jump back in, but the fingers reached through the gap and pulled him out by the chest, legs kicking as he disappeared from view.

“If you just can’t wait,” the giantess chuckled.

The man’s cries rose high into the air, then were smothered silent. There was a wet, smacking sound – Cameron tightened his grip on Harriet as he realised what it was. The man had been shoved into the giantess’s mouth, where he was being sucked on, maybe chewed. A terrible gulp confirmed it, cutting off the last muffled sounds of the man’s screams.

The bag was still and quiet with the horror of it, no one else attempting to escape.

“See,” Weber, the man by Cameron’s ear, growled. “We’re toast.”

Cameron didn’t reply; the man had been his friend, after all. How quickly this had all gone wrong – he had expected a nice view and a walk before a meal around his. Maybe something more. But now they were moving quickly away from home and any sense of safety. He closed his eyes and kept in tears of his own as Harriet shuddered unhappily.

The giantess’s walk might have taken ten minutes or an hour, it was hard to tell in the dark, sweaty confines of the bag, but every second was frightening and uncomfortable. Suddenly, the bag landed with a thump on a hard surface, jostling everyone. It opened up, revealing a ceiling far, far above – old timber supports beneath a white-washed surface.

The giantess spoke again, happily, “Welcome home, my little humans.” Her face came into view, filling the gap. “I’ll be your host, Kym, and today you’ll be helping me prepare a delicious Wriggle Pudding.”

Her face retreated and a giant hand swept into view, fingers spread. Everyone dashed to get away from it, shouting. It closed over three people at once and plucked them out, then returned a moment later for more. Taking a few people at a time, the giantess lifted her captives from the bag and dumped them elsewhere.

Cameron and Harriet were squeezed together when she caught them, along with a woman who tripped over trying to get past them. The woman dangled by a leg, screaming as they were all carried out over a work surface and dropped into a jar. There was suddenly space and light, so Cameron moved away from the other people and took in the new surroundings. Glass walls rose up in a cylinder, tapering slightly towards the top – a mason jar, four metres in diameter with six people inside, including Cameron and Harriet, and the older couple from the bench. Through the glass, it was apparent they were standing on a shelf, at about the giant’s head height, with similar jars either side of them, packed with frightened people. A vast kitchen stretched out beneath them, with traditional fixings of oak counters and black iron taps and cupboard handles. A huge metal oven with hobs as large as helipads.

A squeal announced another couple of people dropping in through the open jar and Cameron pulled Harriet out of the way just before they fell on her. Then the giantess, Kym, moved away. She leant over a book, then started opening cupboards and pulling things out – starting with a huge metal bowl. She spoke as though for an audience: “This is a special recipe, requiring the finest ingredients, but my Liza deserves the best. You’ll be proud to be involved, trust me.”

“What’s she going to do with us?” Harriet whimpered.

“She said Wriggle Pudding?” Cameron replied. “What’s Wriggle Pudding?”

“We are,” a man answered – the same voice who’d been so pessimistic in the bag. Weber. He was a reedy, short-haired guy in a bomber jacket, with a deep-lined, miserable face. Cameron wanted to say something brave like don’t talk like that in front of my girlfriend, but Weber was right. They were trapped in an inescapable jar and the giantess was preparing a recipe. The myths about them eating people had been declared fact long, long ago.

“First, we prepare the dough,” Kym said, pouring a massive bag of flour into the bowl. Those people who weren’t huddled up in fear watched as she added sugar and a pan of melted butter, then a bit of salt, curating as she went. She reached in with her hands and kneaded it all together. “Got to get all those air bubbles out, make it nice and smooth, so we’ve got a nice consistency for the little people.”

The trapped people swore and started moving inside the jar. Some tried to climb up, hands uselessly sliding against the glass. In the next jar, someone was trying to arrange a human pyramid, but the others weren’t cooperating.

“There must be a way out,” the bearded man murmured, though he sounded hopeless. His wife was trembling beside him, a blond woman and a man in a shirt the other side of them.

“Maybe we can smash this glass,” another man said, the final jar inhabitant, a rough-looking guy in coveralls. He gave the jar a kick. Down in the kitchen, the giantess left the dough to wash her hands.

“You run, you get eaten,” Weber said. “You stay, you get eaten.”

“You got anything useful to say?” Cameron replied hotly. “Or you just gonna keep reminding us how screwed we are?”

Weber gave him a snide look, then the jar vibrated with the thumps of Kym’s giant footsteps. She stood before the jars with a fond smile and lifted a finger to tap the one on the right. The people inside scampered away with terrified yelps, which made Kym chuckle. But she turned her huge face to eclipse Cameron’s jar, and said, “We’re going for the freshest finds today; only the best for Liza.”

Cameron and the others rushed into the centre of the jar as the giantess’s massive hands clamped onto the sides. The captives huddled close together as they were lifted, then lowered down to Kym’s side. She pressed the jar to her chest, holding it in the crook one arm so the fabric of her top and shirt squeezed over half the view, then she carried them over to the counter. The blond woman shrieked and the huddle divided as Kym’s hand came in through the top – Cameron tugged Harriet’s out of the way.

Kym’s vast forearm filled the jar like a pillar as her hand pressed into the base, her palm pinning the older couple from the bench before her fingers scooped them into a fist. They were lifted out shouting. Everyone watched with horror as the couple were unceremoniously lifted over the metal bowl and dropped into its depths. Then the hand was suddenly back – the man in coveralls jumped to the side as Kym reached for him, but there was no space – her fingers pinched his chest. He caught the blond woman’s arm as he was carried up, pulling her struggling with him. The man in a shirt jumped to catch hold of her legs and pull her back down. All three of them were lifted out of the jar, shouting at one another. Kym sniggered as she lifted them over the bowl and let go, the group separating as they fell.

Then there was only Cameron, Harriet and Weber left as the hand came back down. Cameron pulled Harriet close to him and they both pressed against the glass, while Weber looked worriedly from them up to the approaching hand.

“No, no, no!” he shouted, and shoved Harriet hard, knocking her away from the side so she stumbled right into Kym’s path. The giant hand closed on her and Cameron cried out, leaping after her. He caught Harriet’s arm from between the giant fingers, and pushed uselessly to try and pull her free, but Kym was already lifting them both up.

“Let go!” Harriet shouted, but it was no use, they were already out of the jar and all Cameron do was hug the giantess’s hand or fall. They were lifted over the bowl and when Kym opened her hand she tilted it to knock Cameron off. He yelled as he fell fifteen feet into the dough – but the squidgy surface softened his impact. He thumped into it and tried to roll but his hands sunk into the dough. When he pulled one free, it was caked in sticky muck. He twisted around and saw Harriet equally stuck, halfway through the dough, along with the others, all of them struggling to free themselves. The bowl sides rose high all around, shining metal walls even less climbable than the jar.

“Please, no, I’ll do anything!” Screams came from above and everyone paused to look up. Over the lip of the bowl they saw Kym, towering, holding the jar up higher, over her head. With some admirable, desperate skill, Weber had wedged himself back in a corner. Nasty as he’d seemed, his panicked cries were piteous and everyone tensed, watching how hard he clung to the jar as Kym shook it. He screamed as he lost his grip and slid down the glass. The giantess opened her huge mouth as Weber slid towards the opening, unable to slow himself with frantic attempts to push against the jar. He tumbled out of the jar and fell into the waiting pit of her mouth, arse first. She closed her mouth on his hips, and his arms, legs and head flapped about from between her lips as she placed the jar aside. As he screamed for help, she placed an index finger on the fold of his gut and pushed him the rest of the way into her mouth, so he totally filled her cheeks. Puffed up like a balloon, she rolled her jaw and sucked against his struggles, then took a tremendous, impossible gulp and swallowed him whole.

The blond woman screamed in the bowl, and the man in a shirt started to comfort her, while the bearded man started calling out useless bids for everyone to stay calm. Cameron met eyes with Harriet and found her was utterly ashen, despairing.

There was no time to reflect, as Kym leant over the bowl and said, “Now, we work all the ingredients together nice and evenly.”

The captives collectively renewed their efforts to get free from the dough before both of the giantess’s massive hands descended on them. Cameron was shoved down by her palm, slurping into the dough. He tried to swim his way out, but it was too thick. Kym’s fingers came under him and he was pulled back and rolled. His head came out and he gasped for air, then he was pulled back down. He was dragged to one side then another, pressed down again, squeezed, with the giant fingers independently prodding and pinching, kneading and stretching. Then he was lifted – everything rising into the air – and dropped suddenly with a splat. Trapped the dough, in darkness, Cameron shifted his shoulders to try and get free. He couldn’t breathe, he was going to suffocate – but then searching giant fingers struck him from both sides, sliding through the dough, and the giantess pinched his chest and pulled him out.

Cameron gasped for air and clawed at his face to pull the dough off, his torso free but everything below the waist stuck securely in. He wiped his eyes clear, too, and saw Kym’s hand a few metres down, pulling the shirted man out of the dough to set him standing, also half submerged. Cameron twisted and saw the bearded man and his wife upright, too, then back the other way Kym’s fingers pinched Harriet out to stand her up.

They weren’t in the bowl anymore, but had been moved to a great circular tin, setting them in the shape of a cake, with all seven of them upright like candles. Everyone was trying to shift their hips, but the dough held firm. Kym hummed, drawing their attention up, and Cameron saw she was studying them thoughtfully, a dirty finger tapping her chin. She reached down. Harriet shrieked as she was pulled out of the cake and then shoved back in a short distance away. The man in coveralls cried out as he was repositioned, too. Then Kym gave a huff, shook her head and plucked up one more person – the bearded guy. He gave a tremulous groan as he was lifted clear of the cake and not placed back in.

Kym held him dangling to the side for a moment, considering her work, then nodded. Apparently it was neater without him. The man begged, “Be reasonable, I know that giants –” but she shoved him headfirst into her mouth. His legs kicked feebly between her lips as she started chewing on his upper body, then she sucked them the rest of him in and crunched her large mouthful between her teeth. Harriet and the man’s wife wept as Cameron stared in horror. He wasn’t sure what was worse, between being chewed up or swallowed alive.

Kym swallowed her mouthful and exhaled happily. “Now, a short stint in the oven.”

The captives cried anew as she lifted the cake, and they threw their hands over their heads to get her attention, pleading, shouting, crying. Kym ignored them and opened a hangar-sized oven. She slid them in. The door closed with a great clang and the thrum of a fan overtook them. It was instantly sweltering, sauna-like, and Cameron had started sweating. He tried tugging at his legs again, but he didn’t dare shove his hands back into the dough, in case they got stuck too. He stopped struggling to look across to Harriet, lit by the orange glow of the oven light. He called out, “I’m sorry. Harriet, I’m so sorry!”

She returned his look with a grave, lost expression.

No, he couldn’t let it end like this. He grunted and tugged at his legs with all he had, until he felt the dough shift. He struggled harder, heaving, and it shifted again. It was working! He was loosening the cake’s hold. He gave another tug and – yes! – he flew out from the dough and rolled over its sticky surface. The heat was already solidifying it, amazingly, and he didn’t sink. A strong, sweet aroma was building around them, both delicious and dizzying. Cameron crawled past the weeping older woman and the man in a shirt, who demanded, “Pull me free! Come on!”

Cameron went right on over to Harriet. He gave her a quick hug and whispered, “I’m getting you out.” He dug at the dough around her legs, loosening her.

“Wait,” she said, but he kept going, clawing rapidly solidifying cake from around her. She shoved him and said again, “Wait! We’re trapped here – we need her to take us back out!”

“We’ll be cooked alive by then!” Cameron said.

“No, look how fast the cake is setting.” Indeed, the crust was already hardening.

“Get back here!” the man in a shirt demanded, a bit of cake cracking by his hip. “We’re running out of time!”

“Okay,” Cameron said, hurrying to dig more around Harriet. “Stay put, but as soon as you see a chance, make a break for it. I’ll get back in position.”

Satisfied Harriet was loose, he gave her a kiss and crawled back to the man in a shirt. The man urged him on as Cameron tried to dig, but his hands slid over the surface – it was already solid. He punched and it cracked slightly. Another punch didn’t do much more, and the man was getting increasingly agitated.

“She’s coming!” Harriet cried and Cameron looked up to see Kym’s giant form blocking the oven window. He tried to crawl away, but the hinges squeaked loudly as the oven was opened. Perched by the hole he’d escaped from, he felt Kym’s gaze on him as she looked in.

“Another trickster, oh my,” the giantess said. Her gloved hands came in and took the tin, pulling them all back out of the heat and up to her enormous chest.

Cameron stood unsteadily, all the others watching with fear. There was nothing for it; as soon as she put them down, the giantess would grab him. He ran as the cake was carried through the kitchen, and as they were lowered he reached the edge of the tin and jumped. With no other option, he flew through the air towards the giantess herself, and landed on one of her breasts. He slipped against the soft give of her flesh and tripped, tumbling towards the crevice of her cleavage, unable to stifle a cry.

“Cheeky!” Kym laughed, which made her chest bounce and threw Cameron the rest of the way into the cleavage. He tried to push his arms and legs into her breasts, massive fleshy walls either side of him – no use, he was sinking. But her finger and thumb clamped onto his chest and pulled him out. His legs dangled as she held him before her face. The cake was down on the counter now, five people sticking out like spikes. Kym said, “Well, can’t put you back.”

Her giant mouth opened and Cameron was lifted towards the dark, wet cave. He raised his arms and cried out desperately. But as her hot breath hit him, a bell rang, tremendously loud. Immediately distracted, Kym cooed and lowered Cameron to rush towards the sound. He was shaken in her grip as she walked through her home, out of the kitchen and down a cluttered corridor to a towering wooden door. She opened it and grinned at the person on the other side.

“Liza! You’re early!”

Cameron twisted in her fingers as Kym leant in for a hug and a quick kiss.

“What’s that?” the other woman said, and he was lifted up again, for the newcomer to inspect. Liza was equally terrifying in her titanic size, even taller than Kym, and beautiful in her own way – she wore a red dress, which finished just above the knee, hugging an athletic, toned figure, and she had long ginger hair, swept to the left. She couldn’t have been less alike Kym, though one thing they did share was a huge chest; Liza’s cleavage, on show below Cameron, now served as an uncomfortable reminder of where he’d just been.

“Oh,” Kym said lightly, “you’ve ruined the surprise! I guess I’d better show you. Come on.” Cameron spun around as Kym carried him back through to the kitchen with Liza following. She stopped and announced, with a gesture that flicked Cameron’s lower half towards the cake, “Ta-da!”

“Oh my God you didn’t!” Liza cried with delight, rushing to crouch before the cake. That was when Cameron noticed Harriet was out. In the distraction, she’d got free and had made it to the edge of the tin, where she now cringed beneath Liza’s approaching face.

“Oh shoot, another one,” Kym murmured, pushing Liza aside to snatch her other hand down. Harriet tried to jump but the giantess’s fist closed over her upper half. “They’re supposed to stay in the cake.”

As Harriet squirmed, smothered in her grip, Kym crouched to inspect the rest of the cake. The four people still in it cowered under her gaze, with only the man in a shirt still trying to desperately pull himself free. He was plainly stuck fast, though.

“You made me wriggle pudding?” Liza said, ignoring the interruption. She stood and threw her arms around Kym for a big hug. “You maniac, this is our fourth date!”

“A special one!” Kym laughed.

Did Cameron hear that right? What were the chances? He couldn’t process it, as he was thrown about, Kym’s hand coming up to return the hug. For a moment her hands came close to each other, placing Harriet almost in touching distance of Cameron as they were both pressed into Liza’s massive back. He shouted up to her, “Harriet –” But they were carried away again as Kym stepped back.

“It’s just about ready,” Kym said. “Seeing as you already know, no sense waiting!”

Liza gave her a naughty look, scarcely believing her luck. Then she reached down and pinched a finger and thumb over the guy in the shirt. He pushed back, to no effect, as she plucked him out of the cake, its sponge stuck in clumps around his lower half. Crumbs flew about as he kicked and shoved, which only made Liza and Kym laugh. Liza pushed him into her mouth feet first, sucked on his legs and pulled him back out. Her eyes rolled, savouring the flavour, and she said, “You are wicked, Kym!” Then she shoved the man into her mouth and moaned in delight as she chewed gently, just enough to still his struggles and tenderise him. She swallowed him whole, tracing the bulge with her fingers as he slid down her throat. She rubbed her belly and laughed as the others in the cake writhed about and shouted in panic. From this angle, Cameron could see exactly why they called it wriggle pudding.

Liza tore a chunk of cake free and ate that as she eyed the other people, carefully choosing who to eat next. She purred, “I love that you don’t peel your humans, Kym.”

“Bah, clothes add flavour!” Kym waved her hand and paused, seeing Harriet’s legs kicking out from it.

Cameron twisted, shoving at the giantess’s fingers, and shouted, “Don’t hurt her!”

“Here, take this one, she’s cute,” Kym said, holding Harriet up. Liza put out a hand and Kym dropped Harriet into her waiting palm, then the giantess reached down and tore another chunk of cake free. As Harriet twisted around on her knees, face full of fear, Kym dropped the cake on top of her. Cameron punched furiously at Kym’s fingers as Liza’s hand closed, squishing Harriet and the cake together. Harriet’s scream was muffled by sponge, and her legs kicked violently as she was balled into Liza’s mouth along with the cake.

“No!” Cameron roared, seeing his girlfriend’s feet thrashing between the giantess’s lips. Liza gave a silly, eye-popping expression as she sucked Harriet in completely, swelling her cheeks. She worked her jaw a bit and started swallowing. She made a few gulps, clearing the cake, then with one final toss of her head, Harriet slid down her throat. Cameron shouted as loud as he could, which made Kym flinch, her fingers squeezing him. Something cracked and his breath was blasted out, making him flop limply as Kim lifted him to her face.

“Jeez, this one’s got some lungs,” Kym said. At the same time, she reached down to the cake herself, pulling out the blond woman, who kicked and screamed. Cameron wheezed, trying to recover his breath, as Kym squinted pointedly at him while she pushed the woman into her mouth along with a chunk of cake. She chewed, lumps of cake spilling out of her massive lips as the woman’s kicking legs went still, then she sucked the legs in and swallowed her victim, making sure Cameron was watching. His eyes teemed with tears.

“I think they might’ve been a couple,” Kym decided, looking over Cameron’s head to Liza. She rotated him for Liza to see. “You should have this one, too, complete the pair.”

Liza paused with a guilty expression, her mouth already full as she chewed up the man in overalls, the last person in the cake. She swallowed, put on a goofy smile and shrugged. “Okay.”

Liza grabbed Cameron off Kym. He was briefly engulfed in the warm flesh of her closed fist and swept through the air, then her vast mouth opened over him. Cameron yelled with the little air he’d recovered as his face and chest landed on her wide, sloppy tongue. He tried to twist and scramble back but her teeth closed on his waist. When he bucked he only hit his head on her pallet. Her tongue pulsed under him, tilting and repositioning as saliva smacked around him – then he was pulled back into the cave of her throat, shoulders brushing against fleshy walls, feet dragged over her teeth. He fell further in, squeezed on all sides.

Cameron dropped all the way into her stomach, yelling, terrified, and landed in burning acid. He thrashed about and heard he wasn’t alone, another person’s hand catching him in the face as they shouted too. Maybe the man in the shirt, maybe Harriet – there was no telling in the burning dark, as Cameron slid deeper into the giantess’s digestive juices. What he did recognise, though, was thunderous laughter above, as the massive woman picked further at the cake, thoroughly enjoying their fourth date.