This Quest is Bullshit - Chapter 156

Chapter 156 - What Happens Now?

Returning to the wedding reception was never going to be on the cards, not after everything that had just happened. They’d already spoken with those they’d needed to at the event, and the prospect of celebrating felt so outlandish as to be not worth considering. Instead, Wes and Preston climbed onto Reginald’s back, Eve absorbed the crown and stowed any loose items within its storage, and the party took off towards Dragonwrought Hold.

Eve read her notifications as she flew, comfortable enough with the repeated forty-five degree Jets she called flight that she could keep them up while reading.

Level Up!

Ability Upgraded!
Passive Ability - Ethereal Manifestation
Gain limited control over elemental Mana you absorb!

Eve blinked. “Again with the Ethereal Manifestation upgrades. They’ve gotta only be available now I’ve finished the Burendian quest line.” Of course, over the roar of the wind around her as she hurdled through the sky at high speeds, not a single word came out of her mouth remotely audibly.

The upgrade seemed powerful. Ethereal Manifestation had always allowed her to drain Mana from external sources, but because her body was made up of a combination of pure Mana from the leylines and annihilation Mana from the whole reforged-in-dragonfire thing, any other element of Mana couldn’t stay in her pool for very long.

In practice, this all meant she couldn’t use somebody else’s spell to heal herself or replenish her pool, but she could fizzle their cast and throw their Mana back at them in the form of a Mana Burst. For the past year, she’d been satisfied draining pure Mana from the various enchantments that used it. Not anymore.

Of course, she’d have to test just how limited the control was, but in theory she could copy an opponent’s spell, or better yet, do something else with the elemental Mana because her use of it wasn’t constricted to the skill description of an individual ability. Then again, for that same reason whatever she did with stolen Mana would probably be a bit less powerful, but she’d take that in favor of flexibility. Sheer power wasn’t something she lacked.

It made for a neat upgrade, nothing particularly life changing, but certainly a bit of utility that might prove useful in the future. Almost as exciting was the increase in her level itself. She knew from an exp cost perspective, she had a very long way to go, but seeing that little Level 95 next to her name made her feel that much closer to hitting a hundred. Eve still had no idea what happened to Unique classes that tiered up—a class change didn’t make much sense—but it had to be something powerful. She couldn’t wait to find out.

The party arrived back at the keep in silence. Reginald dropped Wes and Preston off at the front door before returning himself to one of the various elevated openings meant for dragons that just so happened to also accommodate drakes with wings. The three adventurers advanced through the hold together, not stopping to chat with any of its geriatric residents on their way to their rooms.

Once alone, Eve numbly went through the motions of changing out of her dress, washing up, and putting on some more comfortable, casual clothing. She whiled away a few hours laying back in her bed, simply processing the events of the day, before she heard a knock on her door.

Preston greeted her. “We’re gonna eat together tonight, down in one of the roosts so Reginald can join us. Wes is organizing it with Piskern right now.”

Eve nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you down there.” Exhausted as the wedding and ensuing drama had left her, all she really wanted was to eat scones for dinner and go to sleep, but if the others wanted to be together that night, she’d join them.

An hour later saw her stepping out into an open chamber, walled on three sides while the forth opened up to a spectacular view of the sun setting over the valley of dragons. It would’ve been terribly drafty had the elderly owners of Dragonwrought Hold not kept the place horrendously hot throughout the year. Instead, Eve found the evening air rather refreshing.

She joined Wes and Preston at a table large enough for the three of them plus the giant hunk of charred meat—cooked the way a dragon might blast its prey—for Reginald. She smiled at them.

The meal itself went comfortably enough, all parties too drained to engage in much conversation. It wasn’t until the first stars glimmered in the night sky and the adventurers sat back in their seats, bowls of sorbetto empty and glasses refilled with port, that Wes spoke the terrible words.

“We’re leaving in the morning.”

Eve’s eyes widened. “So soon?”

“It isn’t exactly safe here,” Preston explained. “Obviously nobody’s going to attack us, but we’re surrounded by dragons. Without Art, all it’ll take is one breathing fire a little too close and we’re done. The sooner we leave, the better.”

I’ve decided it’s high time we leave this droll place behind and begin construction on my true palace, Reginald sent. Dragons aren’t guests.

Eve raised an eyebrow at him. “Did you now?”

Wes shook his head. “He didn’t. We’re going back to Nowherested, or at least somewhere in the wilds nearby so I can be close to my Da. I can’t help him in the forge for obvious reasons, but at least he’ll be able to visit.”

Preston nodded. “Out there, there’s nothing high level enough that Reginald couldn’t easily handle it on his own. We stay out of towns to avoid manmade fires, and keep out of combat to avoid magical ones.”

“I figured all that.” Eve exhaled. “Just thought you’d stick around a bit longer.”

Wes sighed. “It’s for the best.”

“Yeah,” Eve said.

Preston raised his glass. “I thought we could take tonight to reminisce. It’s been an absolutely absurd few years, and I can think of no better way to spend my last night as an adventurer remembering all of it. Besides, when was the last time we all got good and plastered?”

Eve laughed, holding up her glass of port. “I’ll toast to that!”

Wes clinked glasses then proceeded to down his in a single gulp. “If our goal is to get Eve drunk, we’re going to need more than a few glasses of dessert wine.”

Preston winked, reaching down for something under his chair. He set a bottle on the table. “That’s what the whiskey’s for.”

Eve and Preston slowly made their way through the last of the port as Piskern came by to clear the table and provide a set of rocks glasses and ice for those so inclined. Preston poured.

“To the three greatest adventurers who ever lived,” the healer toasted. “May the world never forget their legendary hijinks!”

Eve took a sip, disabling her ability to metabolize poisons with a simple thought. She wasn’t drinking whiskey to replenish her Mana.

They started at the beginning, the very first time Eve had failed to buy a loaf of bread because she’d had to stop to save Wes’s life from a pack of wolves on the road. The bakery had been closed by the time they’d made it to town.

“I have to wonder, though,” Wes said, “what would’ve happened if you’d left me to recover on my own?”

“I’ll tell you what wouldn’t have happened,” Eve answered. “I wouldn’t have bought a fucking loaf of bread. I give it fifty percent odds they would’ve already sold out for the day, and fifty percent odds of something else going horribly wrong.”

“You mean like a bunch of thugs deciding my sword was stolen and chasing us out of town?” Wes laughed.

“Exactly like that.” Eve grinned.

They spoke of their fight with the field hydra, Eve running around wildly with Wes thrown over her shoulder shooting fire darts at the thing. Preston still couldn’t believe that tactic had actually worked.

Wes made a few more Priestess jokes when they got to finally meeting Preston and fighting Alex’s ex-boyfriend Steven the Necromancer, while Eve shook her fist at how rude the clerk at the adventurer’s guild had been to her. They talked of clearing their first dungeon—the Burendian outpost—and how much of an absolute shit show that’d been. Between exploding her sword on the sentry construct, collapsing the roof, and spilling the volatile compound all over herself and Alex, Eve had almost killed herself at least three times in that place. She’d come out stronger for it.

The conversation grew dim when they got to the Temple of Garaxia, the highlight of meeting Alvin clashing with the low of Alex sacrificing herself to save them.

“Except you did the exact same thing in the Dead Fields,” Preston commented. “Alex tried to sacrifice herself to stop the lithodemons, and ended up surviving because of a quest completion and the exp windfall upgrading her class. Then you tried to sacrifice yourself to kill that griffin, only to survive because the exp windfall upgraded your class.”

“Holy shit,” Wes breathed. “He’s right.”

“What? No.” Eve took a sip of her whiskey.

“No, totally,” Wes slurred. “You’re like the same person.”

“Except she’s a defender and you’re an attacker,” Preston stipulated. “And she’s all dead serious while you’re all fun.”

“And she’s taller than you,” Wes added as if it were the most important distinction.

They laughed at Eve’s retelling of her mini adventure with Archibald the goat, only for Preston to remind them all how stupid they were for impersonating a visiting Emissary when they got to Pyrindel. Eve wondered how Roric—the berserker besieged by fangirls—was doing.

Eve teased them both mercilessly for their behavior during their drunken escape from Pyrindel, especially Wes’s improvised song about breaking out of jail, but Wes fired right back at her encounter with the foot elemental. By the time the conversation reached Avendreth Manor, the whiskey had firmly taken hold.

“I still can’t believe you were trying on hats while I had to deal with that fucking riddler imp,” Wes said. “He didn’t even have any riddles! Just kept rhyming at me and stalling for time.”

“Hey,” Preston countered, “I at least helped you fight that ghost thing. The fuck were you all?”

“I had gargoyles to fight!” Eve scowled. “And also a chicken sandwich to eat.”

Some of us were busy actually finishing the dungeon, Reginald sent. Lacking the physiology for proper intoxication, the drake didn’t take much part in their drunken reminiscing except to correct details he felt they remembered incorrectly. Mostly he framed every one of the party’s victories as his own doing.

“All you did was talk to the guy,” Wes argued.

And I’ll have you know I did a fabulous job of it, the drake sent.

Preston furrowed her brow. “Didn’t Art do all the talking?”

He channeled my conversational prowess, came Reginald’s reply.

Eve snorted. “Sure he did.”

In time, the hour grew late and early again, the bottle grew empty, and as all things must, the evening came to an end. Eve spoke the words she’d been holding in all night.

“I’m going to miss you guys.”

“You could always come with us,” Wes slurred. “I’m telling you, we’re gonna build the most kickass manor you’ve seen.”

Eve smiled. “I’ve thought about it, but there’s too much I still gotta do.” She patted her pocket, where the eldritch plaguebearer’s ring sat wrapped in a thick bundle of cloth. “Maybe I’ll stop by once I’ve ditched this ring you’ve saddled me with. You’re not the only one with family in Nowherested.”

“Yeah,” Preston said. “You should totally come visit.”

“I will,” Eve said. “On my own, I can travel pretty fucking fast. As long as you stay in one place, I’m never too far away.”

“Good.” Preston sat back in his chair. “That’s good.”

Wes leaned in, grabbing Eve’s hand with both of his. Across the table, he looked her in the eye and spoke with the kind of emotional honesty only possible after two glasses of wine, one of port, and six of whiskey.

“Eve, I just wanna say,” the words slurred together as he said them, “it’s been an honor adventuring with you. Really. These past years have been the absolute highlight of my life, and while I’ve come to terms with settling down, I want you to know that you didn’t just save my life like a bajillion times. You made me who I am. You left us in the dust years ago, but you never let us fall behind.”

“You’re like a sister to me, Eve,” Wes continued his drunken speech. “And even though I’m retiring, I cannot fucking wait to see what crazy bullshit you manage to pull off now you don’t have us holding you back.”

Eve returned his intense gaze. “Before you go, I wanna be clear about one thing. None of you ever held me back. Not once. I’d be dead like eighty times without you.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Wes slurred, sitting back in his seat. “I guess-uh… I guess that’s all I wanted to say.”

Preston cleared his throat.

“Oh right!” Wes leaned in again. “Will you be my best man?”

A wide grin spread across Eve’s face. “I think I can manage that. Might have to see about changing the title, though.”

Wes clumsily waved her off. “Details, details. We’ll figure it out later.”

“Then yes,” Eve said. “I’d love to.”

Wes clapped his hands together. “Good.” With that, he scooted his chair back and unsteadily pushed himself to his feet. “I think, on that note, it might be time for bed. This was fun. We should this again sometime.”

Eve stood too. “We will. Give me a couple weeks and I’ll stop by.”

Preston walked over to hug her. “In case I don’t see you in the morning,” he said. “Good luck out there. Show those quests who’s the real badass.”

That last sentence only made sense to Eve in her current state of intoxication. “I will. Have fun planning your wedding.” She nodded over towards Wes. “He’s not gonna make it easy.”

Preston laughed. “Of course not, but I love him, so… what can you do?”

Eve stopped over at Reginald for a moment, patting the drake on his scaly head. “It’s been fun Reginald, all twenty words you’ve spoken to me. Enjoy your palace.” Reginald snored at her.

She’d barely turned around before Wes engulfed her in a massive bear hug. For over a minute they stayed there, passing no words between them.

Eve broke the silence. “Enjoy your retirement. You earned it.”

“I sure as hells did. I counted. Preston and I have got over thirty thousand gold between us.”

“Good,” Eve said. “If you ever need anything, anything at all, just send me a shadowgram. I’ll be there.”

Wes pulled back and pointed at her. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

With that, Wes walked around the table to join Preston, grabbing the Paragon’s hand and clutching it tight. “Goodnight, Eve,” Preston said. “We’ll see you soon.”

“Goodnight, guys,” Eve replied.

“Goodnight,” Wes said. “And keep being Legendary.”

With that, they turned and vanished back into the bowels of Dragonwrought Hold, leaving Eve alone in the large room with a slumbering Reginald. She spent some time there, sitting with her legs dangling off the edge of the open side as she gazed out at the starry sky and the moonlit valley below. It was a good night, a peaceful night. She smiled.

Only once she’d taken the time to fully process the day she’d had, to fully accept this wonderful night for what it was, did she finally rise.

So it was that Eve left the roost behind in the early hours of the morning, climbed the steps back into the keep proper, and made her way back to her room and to her bed alone.

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