This Quest is Bullshit - Chapter 165

Chapter 165 - Commanding Presence

Eve and Lumy hovered in the air above the city of Pyrindel, appearing, incorporeal as they were, to be no more than a particularly bright cloud to anyone below. I missed this place, Eve sent.

It smells like shit, Lumy replied.

You don’t have a nose, Eve snapped back. Besides you’re thinking of Lynthia. Lynthia smells like shit. Pyrindel smells like piss.

Ah. Of course. How could poor old me without my nose ever hope to distinguish between two such important smells. As if her tone wasn’t enough, Lumy sent the message alongside an image of a bright flashing sign that read ‘sarcasm.’

So, how do we go about this? Eve asked. I’ve never done the whole fugitive-returns-to-save-them-all thing before.

That’s an oddly specific thing for anyone to have done before, Lumy replied. But might I suggest just walking in? You know, the way a normal human being would?

But I’m not a normal human being, Eve sent.

We both know you’re not normal, Lumy sent.

Hey!

But, the phantasm continued, big, dramatic entrances are the kind of thing people who are hiding shit do.

That’s not entirely true, Eve argued. They’re also the kind of thing people with style do.

Lumy sighed.

Fine, fine, I’ll walk in through the front gate, Eve sent, floating slowly towards the northern edge of the city. The last time she’d walked through those gates, it’d been as the only sober person in Pyrindel, desperately trying to shepherd a drunken party out of jail. She hoped a year later, the people didn’t hold that against her.

So it was that with a rising sense of trepidation and a disappointing lack of anything happening, Eve reformed her body in the outskirts and stepped into the line of travelers awaiting admission into the grand capital of Leshk.

A few of the various peasants, merchants, and local adventurers gave her curious looks, but given Appraise’s inability to distinguish between a level fifty and a level ninety-nine, nobody in the queue was strong enough to truly realize Eve’s strength. Most probably assumed she was just another newly-minted tier 4 come to apply for the mercenary companies for the first time.

Those few that did glean her class seemed not to comment on it, though Eve was sure that would change by the time the guards saw her. As per usual, people surpassed her expectations.

“There’s an Emissary behind us!” Eve overheard a man whisper up ahead.

“She doesn’t look like an Emissary,” a woman replied.

“You mean like that spy who fought in the tournament last year?” a second man asked.

Eve cursed.

Lumy laughed. I guess they remember you.

To be fair, I did make a splash. Something about having style, Eve sent back.

The whispers continued. More and more, Eve caught people in line failing to hide the craning of their necks and blue light in their eyes. She exhaled. So much for not making a dramatic entrance. What do I do?

They’re Appraising you as an Emissary, right? Lumy asked. Maybe you should change that.

Eve snapped her fingers. Right. I’m getting attention anyway, may as well be for something else than what I did a year ago.

With a thought, Eve materialized the crown of Burendia upon her head, allowing it to take its naturally bulky, spiky, and overly ostentatious form. Her pack fell out of thin air directly into her arms. She slipped it over her shoulder.

The change in the crowd came quickly.

“I thought you said she was an Emissary,” a man three places down in line said.

“She is!”

“No, she’s…”

From her spot near the back of the queue, Eve couldn’t tell who was the first to fall to their knees. She could only watch the wave of people following suit.

Behind her plastered-on smile, Eve groaned. Bad idea, Lumy, she sent. Now the line’s not moving.

Then make it move, Lumy sent back. You’re not their queen, but you are a queen. You’re also triple their level, not that they know that.

Doing her best Emily-being-imperious impression, Eve channeled Mana through her throat to amplify her voice as she called out to the queue if bowing people. “Rise.”

Her command boomed across the open field, bouncing off the nearby farmhouses and the city wall of ahead to echo back with just as much vigor as it had come. The forcefulness of the word surprised Eve—she had more experience with unearned overconfidence than the cool comfort of true dominion, but another event surprised her even more.

The people obeyed.

In a single, fluid motion, the mass of merchants, farmers, visitors, and tourists came to their feet, heads still bowed as if to avoid looking Eve straight in the eye. As one, the queue parted down the middle, hand carts and ox-pulled wagons and horse-drawn carriages alike shifting to the side to make way, make way.

Make way for the queen.

Eve blinked. Is it just me, or did that work a little too well?

We can discuss this later, Lumy replied back, urgency in her voice. You’re playing a part now, remember?

Right, right, Eve sent, forcefully stopping herself from nodding her head. She didn’t want to know how the mass of over-eager commoners would react to that. Truth be told, she had no idea how they’d react to anything she did, but doing anything other than walking down the path they’d made her felt wrong.

So, walk she did.

Mutters of “your majesty” and “welcome to Pyrindel” reached her ears as Eve strode down the dirt road towards the city gates. She kept her face cool and soft, forcing herself to keep her eyes forward rather than staring at the people around her. Ahead, the gates stood open, the watchmen standing guard bustling about in preparation for her arrival. None of them bowed.

It wasn’t until she set foot on the cobblestone beneath the portcullis that Eve saw her first familiar face.

Pyrindel’s Minister of Internal Defense, stared her down. “Evelia Greene, you’re under arrest for crimes including, but not limited to, impersonating a foreign dignitary, criminal espionage, and telepathic assault upon the people of Pyrindel.”

Eve exhaled sharply through her nose. “Nice to see you too, Lestrad. You got here quick.”

“Getting here quick is my job,” Lestrad said. Without turning his eyes away from Eve, he raised a hand and snapped his fingers. “Bind her.”

Eve snorted. “Good luck with that. I need to speak with Emily. This city is in danger.”

“Of course the city is in danger. You’re here.”

“Not from me, dumbass,” Eve replied with the absolute height of wit. “Somebody’s coming, somebody powerful and backed by an army. The city needs to prepare.”

“Petty insults already,” Lestrad commented. “I see you’re no better at impersonating a Monarch than you were an Emissary.”

“It’s a good thing I don’t have to impersonate being a queen, then.”

“Where are those bindings?” Lestrad snapped at the men behind him.

“Don’t bother,” Eve commanded them over his shoulder. “They won’t hold me.”

“They’ll hold anyone,” Lestrad growled, jerking his hand forward in a gesture to his men. “These cuffs are enchanted Ar-iron, built to suppress tier fives. Unless you’re faking that too, you’re still tier four.”

“Barely,” Eve huffed, still a bit disgruntled to be stuck at level ninety-nine. She rolled her eyes. “This is a waste of time. You’re holding up traffic through the city gates.”

Lestrad displayed no intention of moving.

Eve sighed. “Alright,” she said, holding out her arms to be bound. “Let’s get this over with.”

Two queensguards, uncertainty in their eyes, stepped forth to wrap the Ar-iron cuffs around Eve’s wrists. They clicked shut.

You have been suppressed!

Eve had to stop herself from smirking as she mentally commanded the enchantments on the Ar-iron to ignore her.

You are no longer being suppressed!

Lestrad failed to realize his precious suppression enchantments had already lost. “Very good. Now, come with me. Our enchanters have been hard at work ever since you pulled your little stunt. You won’t be escaping this time.”

Don’t laugh, Eve repeated to herself. Don’t laugh.

This is the guy who captured you before? Lumy sent. He’s a bit of a buffoon, isn’t he?

To be fair, he already had the others locked up when he came for me. Eve sent back. I couldn’t just leave them there.

As Lestrad and his contingent of queensguards led Eve through the streets of Pyrindel, she mentally debated the merits of taking cuffs off immediately or waiting until they arrived. She didn’t like letting the people of Pyrindel see her in chains, but Lestrad was so confident in his enchantments he was taking her straight to the palace. Letting him think he had her seemed to be working out so far.

Besides, Eve’s dramatic streak screamed that now wasn’t the time to slip her bounds.

So, um, Lumy sent, what exactly is your plan here?

What’s a plan? Eve replied. I’ve never heard that word in my life.

Lumy blinked irritated red.

Eve chuckled at her own joke. I don’t know. Playing along with this whole prisoner thing seems to be working so far. With any luck, he’ll take me straight to Emily.

I thought you said he didn’t last time.

True, but last time I couldn’t just walk away whenever I wanted to, Eve sent back. She shrugged. We’ll see where he takes us and play it by ear.

That doesn’t make any sense, Lumy said. If your plan is to see where he takes us, wouldn’t we be playing it by eye?

Well, considering you have neither ears nor eyes, you’d be what… playing it by extrasensory perception? I’m sticking with my version.

Eve allowed the telepathic conversation to come to an end as Lestrad and his men led them through increasingly familiar streets. To her left, Eve spotted the coliseum she’d spent so much time fighting in, to her right, a tavern with particularly tasty spiced wine. The two were equally important as far as she was concerned.

A number of passersby stopped to gawk at the procession, but unless they were a great deal taller than the average human, Eve’s five-foot-nothing form somewhat disappeared behind the wall of bulky queensguards surrounding her. Eve supposed that was a good thing. As far as most of the citizenry would know, she’d had a royal escort rather than an arrest.

True to expectation, Lestrad had built his super special prison cell somewhere in the bowels of the royal palace, no doubt directly below wherever he and his men worked. Guards saluted and stepped aside as he approached, opening any and all doors for him and his procession.

He led them in through a side door, escorting Eve down a narrow hallway with gilded baseboards, lusciously red carpeting, and priceless works of art upon the walls—a particularly spartan passage by royal palace standards.

Eve stopped for a moment to smile and appreciate the ambience, taking in everything from the warm glow of Mana lights to the subtle smell of the morning’s fresh pastries on the air. She’d missed this, the luxury.

Unlike her previous stay at the royal palace, this time Eve noticed something else: the enchantments. The place was crawling with them, everything from defensive enchantments to halt an incursion to an especially complicated weave of magic for protecting the paint on the walls from sun damage.

A million passageways opened themselves up to Eve, every inch of the palace ran with Mana, and everywhere the Mana ran, so too could Eve. With any luck, she wouldn’t need it.

Before she’d even set foot in the place, Eve had cast he conscious out as far as it would, carefully cataloguing every mind she came into contact with. Of course, she lacked anything remotely resembling the range or influence Art could exert, but she didn’t need to control anybody. She just needed to find the right person.

About ten minutes into her guided walk through the palace backrooms, she finally came into range.

Long time, no see.

Eve? a familiar voice replied over the stretched telepathic connection.

This time Eve couldn’t fathom keeping the grin from her face as she sent her answer.

Hello, Emily. We need to talk.