Koalaty Time [NSFW]

This is a ridiculously belated birthday gift for my wife Amirah/MzMirrorz. Thank you for being a part of my life <3

─────

“What the fuck is that?” Katsuki demanded, backing out of the bathroom in a hurry. “Deku!”

“What’s up, Kacchan?”

“What is that thing?”

Izuku peeked through the doorway, freezing when he saw the black blob sitting on the wall, staring at it with wide eyes.

“Wow, yeah, that’s big,” he agreed. “Do you think it’s poisonous?”

“Venomous.”

“Alright Mister Pedantic, you get rid of it then.”

“Okay, okay, point taken,” Katsuki huffed. “Can you just... Kill it or something?”

“Can’t you just blow it up?”

“And get spider guts all over the room, bring the hotel staff running, pay for a damaged wall, and probably set off the fire alarms? Like hell.”

“Alright, alright! Fine, just... Bring me a cup, or something. To grab it.”

He kept an eye on the massive bug as Katsuki ducked out, watching it crawl slowly up the wall, until Katsuki returned with a bowl from the kitchen cupboards and shoved it into his hands. With a flash of green lightning he slammed the bowl against the wall, trapping the giant spider underneath, and with a sigh of relief Katsuki handed him a piece of laminated card.

“Is this the room information sheet?” Izuku huffed, accepting it anyway. “It’ll get dirty.”

“Deku, these hotels have thousands of people come through them, they’re already dirty as fuck.”

He slid the page under the bowl carefully, and Katsuki stepped aside to let him pass. Although “stepped aside” was a little bit of an understatement, considering how far aside he chose to go.

“You got it, right?” Katsuki asked nervously, from the far corner of the living room. “It’s in the bowl?”

“Do you want me to open it and check?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then you’re gonna have to trust me, aren’t you? Open the sliding door.”

“Why can’t you do it yourself?!”

“My hands are a little full here, Kacchan! I won’t come over until it’s open, alright?” Izuku sighed. “Come on, Kacchan, just open the door.”

Grumbling, Katsuki complied, unbolting the door and pulling it wide open. He scurried back to his corner before Izuku could move, edging around the walls to stay as far away as possible when Izuku began to walk to the balcony.

He didn’t lift the page off until he was all the way outside, leaning out over the edge of the balcony to drop it into the garden below. With a little shake, the spider fell out, and Izuku couldn’t help but laugh when Katsuki slammed the door shut the moment he was back inside.

“Wait, leave the bowl out there,” he insisted.

“Kacchan, it’s gone, I promise. I’ll wash the bowl and leave it aside so you don’t accidentally eat out of it.”

“I hate those things. Why the hell did we decide to come to the land of the devil, anyway?”

“Because it’s romantic, Kacchan! We can hang out on the pretty beaches!”

“We have beaches at home.”

“They’re nowhere near as pretty! And it’s so hot here, I thought you’d love all the sun!”

Katsuki grumbled something non-committal, but conceded a tiny nod when Izuku raised an eyebrow at him.

“Fine, it’s a lot better than the icy hellscape we would have been in right now.”

“And we can go pat a kangaroo! They look so fuzzy and soft!”

“Don’t they beat people up and shit?”

“You have an explosion quirk, Kacchan, I think you’ll be okay even if you piss off a kangaroo.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

“We’re gonna have a great time, Kacchan. Now come on, let’s go find somewhere to eat, before you decide to fall asleep at six o’clock in the evening.”

“Timezones are a thing, asshole. And jet lag. It’s not my fault I’m tired.”

“Kacchan we went forward two hours, you can’t blame timezones.”

“You made me take an overnight flight! I got no sleep! I needed the damn nap!”

“I know, I know! I didn’t say it was a bad thing that you fell asleep, or that you couldn’t do it, I just want to eat first!”

“Fine. Damn nerd.”

He carefully cleaned out the spider-bowl and set it aside, washing his hands twice to be sure Katsuki wouldn’t complain, and finally held his hand out for Katsuki to take. Katsuki huffed quietly, but accepted all the same, running his thumb across the shiny white-gold ring he’d agonised over picking out just a few short months ago.

“I love you, Kacchan.”

“I love you too,” Katsuki sighed. “Alright, let’s go find food, then.”

“Yeah!”

He made sure his room key was secure in his wallet, then they kicked their shoes on at the door and headed out, a map of the area pulled up on Izuku’s phone. He was already mumbling about options and decisions, but Katsuki couldn’t be bothered trying to keep up with the nonsense, letting him sort it out in his head first instead.

“Let’s go to the supermarket,” Izuku finally decided, grinning when Katsuki gave him a confused look. “Well we’ve got that kitchenette in our room, we may as well use it! We can grab some stuff to make sandwiches or to cook in the room, in case we’re too tired to go out or want to take a packed lunch somewhere! Besides, it might be fun to see what a supermarket looks like here, do you think it’s much different?”

“Probably less rice.”

Izuku laughed, and Katsuki couldn’t help but smile, squeezing his hand lightly as they headed out into the street. Their hotel sat on a quiet little side road, bordering the harbour with a view all the way out to the opera house. Izuku, of course, took them the other way though, down the street lined with buildings he couldn’t see beyond, other than brief glimpses of the water as one building ended and the next began. Eventually they would find the energy to go walk along the harbour, he was sure, but their day had pretty much been a wash after their nightmare overnight-flight full of crying children. Katsuki had just been done with the world and ready to collapse the moment they checked into their hotel, thankfully early since Izuku had paid for the night prior and arranged with the staff to check in when most guests were checking out. He’d managed a few hours of slightly-cranky unpacking and settling in, then he’d been out like a light the moment they were done with breakfast.

With some sleep under his belt, he felt a little bad for that. They were there to spend time together and celebrate, and he’d just been a grumpy jerk on their entire flight over and most of the first day. It was meant to be a fun, romantic trip, and he was already out there ruining it.

“It looks like there are a few restaurants along here,” Izuku mused, looking up at the plain brick walls around them. “On the other side, I guess? We probably have to go around the buildings. Lots of options for future nights.”

“You sure you don’t want to go tonight?”

Izuku smiled fondly, shaking his head.

“I’m in no rush, Kacchan. Let’s just have a nice relaxed night, and we can start exploring tomorrow! There’s a market down here on the weekends too, we could come try some food and have a look for gifts to take home?”

“Sure, sounds good.”

The streets opened up as they walked further, widening into larger intersections with pedestrian crossings and traffic lights, and around them, storefronts much more recognisable as places to eat or visit, some even with outdoor dining tables Izuku couldn’t wait to eat at. The idea of sitting in the sun with his Kacchan, trying foods he’d probably never eaten before, was just so exciting. They even passed an art museum that Izuku took note of – Katsuki loved all that pretentious stuff.

It was a leisurely fifteen-minute walk to make it to the supermarket, shoved inside a larger shopping centre, and Katsuki grabbed a basket at the door, leaving Izuku’s hand free to do the picking and choosing. Not that he really did much choosing, instead sticking in everything that caught his eye, from pre-cooked roast chicken to colourful fruit that was ridiculously cheap, the loaf of bread Izuku wanted for sandwiches, some meats and cheeses to go inside, a few pre-made salads so Katsuki wouldn’t whine too much about nutrition, a whole damn cake to ruin that thought because Izuku was a sucker for any pretty baked goods, and finally a little yellow jar that Izuku was determined to try, even though Katsuki adamantly refused.

He squinted at the self-checkout machine, parsing the words with his mediocre English abilities in search of the right buttons, but Izuku beat him to it once again, already scanning barcodes and stacking things in a couple of cloth bags to carry back to their room.

“I can’t believe you bought an entire cake,” Katsuki grumbled, balancing it carefully in the top of a bag to keep it from being crushed. “Just because we’re on holiday doesn’t mean you just stop having to think about what you do with your body. We still have to go back to work in a week”

“We’re not just on holiday, Kacchan, this is our honeymoon. That means we get to indulge.”

“I thought it meant we’d have a ton of-”

“Don’t!” Izuku huffed, clapping a hand over Katsuki’s mouth with his cheeks already burning bright red. “Not in public, Kacchan!”

“Seriously? No one is listening, Deku. You really think any of these people speak enough Japanese to overhear us?”

“You never know! This city is super multi-cultural! I read that over ten percent of the city are Chinese, and there’s a pretty big group of Indonesian and Thai and Korean people, so who’s to say there aren’t a bunch of Japanese people living here too?”

“Whatever, nerd. Stop researching shit like that, we’re here to fight kangaroos and fuck in front of the Opera House.”

“Kacchan! Stop!”

Despite his complaints, when Katsuki smirked at him, Izuku couldn’t help but sigh fondly. As crass as Katsuki was, anything that made him smile was automatically pretty good with Izuku, too.

Izuku grabbed their receipt, and with a bag each in hand, they began the walk back to the hotel. It barely took two minutes for Katsuki to shift his bag to his other hand, cheeks pink as he laced his fingers through Izuku’s silently. Even after years together it was still hard to believe that they could just hold hands in public and no one would bat an eye at it, especially with matching rings on their fingers.

“How about we put this stuff away in the room, then come back out and eat by the water?” Katsuki suggested. “We can have that chicken and salad, while they’re fresh, and have... Like a picnic.”

“That sounds great, Kacchan!”

Katsuki squeezed his hand a little tighter, getting a beaming smile for it, and he couldn’t help but flash a soft smile back. Damn nerd made him feel so gooey inside, he was a mess.

“And then,” he added, grin a little sharper. “We can go back to the room and have some fun before bed.”

“If you can stay awake that long,” Izuku teased. “We’ll see, old man.”

“Watch me.”

─────

Katsuki was already exhausted.

They’d started out the day with a nice breakfast at the hotel and a pleasant walk to get to the zoo, but from there it had been full steam ahead. Katsuki wouldn’t even begin to pretend it hadn’t been a good time, though. They’d seen all sorts of weird creatures that looked like some God had created them as a practical joke, learned all about wallabies and kangaroos and how they were apparently different even though Katsuki couldn’t see it, checked out a bunch of furry koala bears that Izuku had fallen in love with immediately, gotten to pet the kangaroos just like Izuku had hoped, seen a bunch of crocodiles hanging out in a pool, had adamantly avoided the spider exhibit, and finally had made their way up to the roof of the main building, where a little line of people had formed.

“Would you like to get a photo?” one of the staff members asked.

Katsuki shook his head, eyes wide, but Izuku was already agreeing enthusiastically, grabbing him by the hand to drag him along.

“They look so cuddly!” he gushed, watching the people ahead of them in line get set up to have a turn. “They must give great hugs!”

“My hugs aren’t good enough?” Katsuki huffed. “You need a shitty bear to hug you now?”

“They’re marsupials, Kacchan!”

“They’re called koala bears and you’re telling me they aren’t fucking related to bears?”

“Actually they’re just called koalas. They’re related to kangaroos!”

“No fuckin’ way.”

“I’m serious!”

“I don’t care how serious you are, I still refuse to fuckin’ believe it.”

“You’re so stubborn.”

“Says the man making me take a photo with a kangaroo’s cousin.”

“So you do believe it.”

“Fuck off.”

Despite his complaints, he still let Izuku drag him into the little photo area when it was their turn, watching as Izuku was handed a clingy grey creature. Izuku spoke to the handlers easily, not a care in the world, but Katsuki still preferred to keep his mouth shut whenever possible – he was really sick of deciphering the weird Australian accents, let alone having to repeat himself to account for his own. People were too damn chatty, always asking where he was from and why they were here. Wasn’t a man allowed to take a damn holiday with his new husband?

Speaking of husbands.

Izuku really was enjoying himself with the creature, somehow. He supposed they were kinda cute, even if their claws looked painful as hell. He stepped in a little closer, when Izuku returned to his side, and without even being prompted he raised a hand, tentatively laying it on the koala’s back. Izuku beamed at him for it, and Katsuki couldn’t help but soften a little, smiling back awkwardly as they snapped a couple of photos.

The marsupial – not a bear, apparently – was surprisingly rough under his hand, not nearly as fuzzy as he expected, and when Izuku turned to let the handlers take it back, he caught a glimpse of tiny red scratches on Izuku’s skin. Apparently he was right to be concerned about the claws, after all.

The moment they got away, Katsuki sat him down, digging out the little package of disinfectant wipes he always carried around to appease his germaphobe tendencies. Izuku didn’t even seem to understand for a moment, only noticing the tiny wounds when Katsuki began to clean him off. He couldn’t help but smile fondly at the protectiveness, though he didn’t dare to say it out loud.

“At least you’re not bleeding,” Katsuki huffed. “Be more careful.”

“Aren’t you gonna kiss it better?”

“Fuck off.”

“Kiiiiiiiss.”

“No.”

“Kiiiiiiisssssssss.”

“Fucking needy bastard.”

Despite his complaints, Katsuki leaned in and dropped the tiniest peck on the scratches, getting a laugh for his efforts when he immediately cleaned off his lips.

“I love you, Kacchan.”

“You better.”

“I think you mean I love you too Deku you bastard smooch smooch.”

“Like hell I do.”

He took Izuku by the hand, refusing to crack a smile, but Izuku just grinned back knowingly as he let himself be hauled to his feet, led back toward the stairs

“Oh, Kacchan, look! The snakes are over there! We missed them!”

“They’re closed today.”

“What?! How do you know? There aren’t any signs!”

“Trust me, they’re closed.”

“But the pamphlet said they have a whole show! You can touch them!”

“It’s cancelled.”

“Since when?! Look, I can see people in there!”

“They’re staff.”

“No they aren’t!”

“They definitely are.”

“Where are you getting your information, Kacchan?!”

“Doesn’t matter. Come on, we’re going to the birds.”

“Well... Okay, I guess we can check back afterward about the snakes.”

“They’ll still be cancelled.”

“Kacchan.”

“Wow Deku look at the pretty birdies, aren’t they colourful?”

“This isn’t over, Kacchan.”

“Trust me, it is.”

Izuku cracked a smile as Katsuki dragged him away, lacing their fingers together, and Katsuki gave him a little squeeze as they stepped into a massive, forested enclosure.

“Do you really want to see them that badly?” Katsuki grumbled, once they were safely inside.

“No,” Izuku smiled, dragging the hand to his lips for a quick kiss. “It’s okay.”

“I can just... I dunno, wait at the cafe or something. If you want. While you go.”

“I’d rather be with you, safe and happy and comfortable.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Who needs a gross snake when we can have colourful birdies?”

“Damn right.”

He shifted his grip, linking arms at the elbow to hold them closer, and Katsuki tilted his head to knock it against Izuku’s lightly.

“I love you, nerd.”

“Smooch smooch.”

“Forget I ever spoke.”

Despite the words, he cracked a smile, and Izuku beamed back with the light of a thousand suns, content to wander through the trees and admire the pretty birds flying overhead. There were some weird miniature-ostrich things hanging around too, but Katsuki didn’t pay much attention to those – honestly he was just keen to just spend some time in the trees, he didn’t really care about the birds. They’d spent a lot of time in the city lately, he just needed to decompress in the greenery for a bit.

“I was gonna keep it a surprise,” Izuku said quietly, squeezing his arm. “But there’s a Chinese-style garden nearby, it’s supposed to be super peaceful and beautiful, and they have a teahouse on-site that looks really good. I know we’ve been stuck in the city for so long with work and the wedding and everything, and you were so nice about all my plans for honeymoon activities, so I just thought we could go have a walk through the garden this afternoon and maybe take some pretty pictures together? I know it’s not the same as going hiking and stuff, but I thought you might like the greenery.”

“You know me too well,” Katsuki said softly. “That sounds good.”

“Let’s head over, then! The only things left here are the cancelled snakes and the bugs, let’s go relax and have some tea now.”

“You sure you’re done?”

“Yeah! Thank you for coming with me and meeting all the cute animals.”

“If you think these things are cute there’s something seriously wrong with you.”

Izuku laughed brightly, leading the way back out of the trees and toward the exit, but Katsuki halted him as they passed a small gift shop, slipping his arm away in favour of picking something up.

He paid for it quickly and was back at Izuku’s side in seconds, stuffing a fluffy toy in his arms with a cute pink blush decorating his cheeks.

“Oh my gosh,” Izuku gasped, holding it up to get a good look. “He’s so cranky.”

“Trust you to notice,” Katsuki snorted, looking way to compose himself as Izuku hugged the toy close. “You seem to think grumpy things are cute, so...”

“Like you?” Izuku teased, kissing him on the cheek. “You’re the cutest.”

“Shut up.”

“Thank you, Kacchan,” Izuku said with an almost painful sincerity to the words. “He’s gorgeous, I love him.”

Katsuki looked down at the fluffy little koala tucked into the crook of Izuku’s arm, at the inexplicably angry looking cross-eyed expression it wore, and finally cracked a smile when Izuku kissed it on the ears.

“I’m gonna call him Kocchan.”

“Of course you are.”

─────

Izuku yawned, rolling over onto his side to catch a glimpse of his husband’s sweet face, but a grin stretched across his lips when he found Katsuki already looking back.

“Morning,” Katsuki teased. “Have a good nap, old man?”

“I deserved that,” Izuku laughed. “It’s just so warm and peaceful!”

“Yeah, I know,” Katsuki assured him. “You need more sunscreen though, before you turn into a strawberry.”

“Strawberry?”

“Red with all these little dots.” Katsuki grinned, poking his freckled cheeks lightly. “C’mere, I’ll do it for you.”

Izuku sat up eagerly at the offer, and Katsuki shuffled closer, pouring sunscreen into his hands and rubbing them together a little to spread it. The touch was pleasantly cool when he set his hands on Izuku’s back, rubbing it all over his lightly-tanned skin, and Izuku hummed contentedly.

“Feels good,” he praised. “Thanks, Kacchan.”

“Drink some water, too,” he instructed, pointing at the pair of icy bottles sitting in the sand beside them. “This was a good choice, by the way. I know I don’t compliment your planning enough.”

Izuku laughed, though Katsuki couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t argue.

“It must have been a lot of work to plan all of this,” he continued. “Thank you for organising our honeymoon.”

“It was fun,” Izuku assured him, tilting his head a little when Katsuki ran a hand up to his neck. “I got to look at all sorts of activities and imagine doing them all with Kacchan, with my husband. Besides, I know you’re less picky, you’d have been happy with a few days in a tent if that was what I wanted. It made sense.”

“As long as it’s with you.”

“Cheesy,” Izuku grinned. “I love you.”

“You better.”

He squirted out a bit more sunscreen, moving on to Izuku’s arms and chest, smirking to himself when he gently pinched at a nipple as he passed.

“Kacchan, we’re in public,” Izuku hissed, squirming. “Cut it out!”

“We don’t have to be in public.”

“You just finished putting sunscreen on me, it would be a waste to go inside now.”

“I put sunscreen on half of you, and none of me. Doesn’t seem like such a waste. In fact, why don’t we go wash it off in the ocean?”

Izuku squinted at him, watching as a strong hand gripped his arm and dragged him to his feet, leading him down toward the water.

One side of the beach held some little rock pools where kids played and admired the wildlife, while the other was just sand, rock and water, much emptier in the late afternoon. They had chosen that side to set up on, for a swim and then some sunbathing – which quickly turned to a nap in the warm afternoon sun. Izuku couldn’t help but wonder if there had been more to it than the peace and quiet, though, when Katsuki led him straight into the calm waters.

He felt a hand grab the front of his board shorts, pulling them down to his knees, and he nearly jumped out of his skin, head darting side to side to make sure no one was watching.

“Kacchan,” he hissed. “There are people here.”

“They’re not looking,” he snorted, biting the side of Izuku’s neck lightly. “They’ll see us makin’ out and stay away, anyway.”

“Kacchan.”

“Deku,” Katsuki teased. “C’mere, husband.”

“Fuck.”

“I was disappointed last night, when we were both too tired to fool around,” he whispered, lips right beside Izuku’s ear. “But what better place to do it than here, right? On this pretty beach you picked out for us, under the warm sun, on our honeymoon.”

He wrapped a hand around Izuku’s dick without waiting for an answer, and Izuku moaned at the firm grip, already rock-hard. Katsuki flipped open the cap of the sunscreen bottle, smearing some on his hand before he shoved it back in his pocket, and Izuku whined quietly when he felt it slick him up under the water.

“Good thing we got the waterproof type,” Katsuki snickered, stroking him slowly. “Makes for a good honeymoon story, don’t you think? The time we fucked in an Australian ocean?”

“Kacchan.”

“Do you think your jizz will eventually make it back home?”

“Kacchan!”

“Tell me to stop, if that’s what you want,” he said firmly, stroking a little quicker.

“The salt water would hurt,” Izuku insisted, through gritted teeth. “No fucking.”

“Hmm, you’re not wrong, that might sting,” Katsuki agreed. “Just like this, then.”

Izuku’s head fell onto his shoulder, leaning on him for support, and Katsuki just grinned wickedly as he kept stroking. One hand went under Izuku’s thigh to help support him, the other continued to stroke him a little quicker each time, until shaky fingers slid down Katsuki’s shorts to find him. He curled his hand around Katsuki’s shaft, and Katsuki hummed his approval, kissing Izuku’s hair. Hot breath brushed over Katsuki’s neck as Izuku breathed shakily, and soon Katsuki’s own lungs began to struggle a little, his chest heaving as he tried to keep everything going at once – holding himself steady in the water, supporting Izuku against him, making him feel good, and dealing with Izuku’s touch all at once.

It was lucky he was a damn good multitasker.

He slid his hand from under Izuku’s thigh to a little lower, between his legs, nails trailing over a plump asscheek and dragging another moan out of Izuku’s lips. His finger toyed at Izuku’s entrance, his finger just slick enough from the sunscreen that it moved smoothly across the hole, making Izuku moan again, barely muffled by the shoulder he leaned on.

As soon as his finger began to breach the hole, Izuku bit down on his shoulder firmly, stifling a whine as warmth filled the water between them. Katsuki smirked as he looked down, watching the ocean turn cloudy, but any thought of teasing was quickly forgotten when Izuku began to stroke him a little quicker, his hands trembling but working valiantly to finish him off. With a sharp gasp and sweat dripping down his neck, Katsuki came in his hand, his limbs turning to jelly as he struggled to keep them both upright.

“We’re not telling this story,” Izuku whispered, getting a short laugh in return. “This is our little honeymoon secret.”

“Fine,” Katsuki agreed. “But we’re gonna do it properly in the hotel room.”

“Any idea where to buy lube in a foreign country?”

“I’m sure we can look it up on the way back.”

“Come on, then.”

“Now?” Katsuki laughed. “I thought I was the desperate one here.”

“By the time we get back and find lube I’m sure we’ll both be more than ready.”

“Fair.” Katsuki grinned, gently releasing his thigh and lowering Izuku back onto his own feet, the gentle waves lapping at their sweaty bodies. “Let’s get a move on, then.”

“I’m a mess, people are gonna look at me weirdly!”

“Maybe we should have a quick bath.”

Before Izuku could even brace himself, Katsuki tackled him around the middle, filling both their mouths with salty water as they fell beneath the waves, laughing brightly. Izuku surfaced with green curls plastered to his face, and Katsuki cackled as he ruffled them, freeing his amused eyes.

“Well I’m not sweaty anymore,” Izuku huffed, his tone a little fond all the same. “Come on, asshole, let’s go.”

“Gladly.” Katsuki chuckled, pinching Izuku’s ass lightly. “As soon as you find your pants.”

“My- Oh God! No! Kacchan!”

Katsuki laughed maniacally when he began searching the seafloor for the baggy green boardshorts that had come loose in their fun. After a minute, though, he dove down to help look, barely able to hold his breath for how much he wanted to laugh at the misfortune.

“Here,” he said finally, finding the heavy shorts and tossing them at Izuku’s face. “Get yourself decent, you damn perv.”

“Kacchan! This is your fault!”

“Keep telling yourself that, you damn exhibitionist.”

“Kacchan!!”

Katsuki watched with a sharp grin as Izuku dressed himself beneath the water, face burning bright red, and he couldn’t help but reach out to pinch one of the warm, chubby cheeks.

“I love you, Deku,” he said softly.

Izuku froze, looking up with a slow smile creeping across his lips, and when he dove forward, Katsuki caught him easily.

“I love you too, Kacchan,” he whispered, nuzzling into Katsuki’s flushed neck. “Thank you for marrying me.”

Katsuki smiled to himself, holding Izuku tight, his fingers caressing a strong, scarred back.

“We’re gonna make it, nerd.”

“Damn right we are.”