In Your Shadow [Chapter 27]

[Chapter 26]

Katsuki sighed as he scrolled through the forms, reading the little one-sentence blurbs everyone had sent in. Some of them were purely positive, like one that just said:

“I really appreciate the meals on offer, after a patrol I’m usually too tired to cook.”

He wanted to move them to the “completed” folder to help differentiate, but a nagging thought at the back of his brain stopped him. If people were happy about something, shouldn’t they be focusing on doing more stuff like that?

Then there were the more neutral ones, that didn’t have a specific problem, but something they just wanted to vent in the world.

"I often miss appointments because I get called into action last minute, I hope the staff here don’t hate me for that.”

That wasn’t really something actionable, beyond maybe an agency-wide announcement saying “hey, don’t worry about it”; just like:

"sometimes I feel overwhelmed juggling my hero duties and personal life." 

That probably just needed a reminder about the counselling services and things that were on offer. Did they have some kind of time management guy or life planning service? That could be something to consider, he supposed. He scrawled a couple of notes in a spare school workbook, moving on down the list.

"After a long patrol, all I want is to crash, some days the admin feels like a lot.”

The admin was kind of unavoidable, but it was still a problem that needed solving. Patrol reports obviously had to be done by someone on shift, and they really needed to be done straight after the patrol ended, so maybe patrols needed to be shorter, or something?

"I wish I could delegate more of the little things; they take up so much time once they all stack up."

That was a similar issue, Katsuki thought. Maybe there was a way to decrease the paperwork load, or they could train more sidekicks to help out? Katsuki had picked it up pretty quickly, after all, so surely the actual adults could do the same.

Katsuki glanced at his watch, closing the laptop lid and his notebook. He tucked them under his arm, grabbed a couple of containers from the kitchen, and headed up the stairs to Mirio’s door once again. He crept inside, and for once, found Mirio sound asleep in his bedroom. For a moment he considered leaving again, but instead he put the food in the fridge quietly, setting up on Mirio’s couch to do some more reading. There were some much more pressing issues in the feedback, like people who felt unprepared to deal with hostage negotiation, spawned by hearing about Igneo’s patrol, and even some aspects of rescue training, that had probably been inspired by some other recent event. Those ones needed addressing a lot sooner, so Katsuki wrote them on another page, in much clearer handwriting: Hostage Negotiation Training. Rescue Simulations.

“It’s really hard to take leave, knowing how packed everyone’s schedules already are. Any time I do get a day off, I just end up sleeping all day, and don’t get any of my errands etc done.” 

That one didn’t seem like it had an easy solution, honestly. Hire more people? He supposed shorter patrols, or fewer patrols, might help with that, too, but presumably it would also drop the amount each hero got paid, so that probably wasn’t a great solution for most of them.

How can we help people get more rest, without reducing their pay?

He wrote the question in his book, tapping his pen against it lightly as he mulled it over. Anything that came to mind would have taken a whole re-working of the system, which was clearly not a practical solution – besides, there was a reason the system was set up the way it was, any other system was going to have issues too.

When two o’clock drew near, Katsuki set his things aside, heading back into the kitchen. He’d brought a couple of containers of cold foods, in case Mirio didn’t want to wait for stuff to heat up, so he grabbed a couple of rice balls he’d thrown together and set them on the bedside table, for Mirio to see when he woke up. He sneaked back out, locking the door behind him, and hurried to the elevators to make his next trip through the building. Being a Sunday, and having half the staff away, the building was eerily quiet, the elevators completely empty every time he stepped into one, and Katsuki found it honestly a little creepy.

“Hey,” he said, when he found Yutaka’s door open for him. “Sorry I’m a bit late.”

“You’re perfect,” Yutaka assured him, despite Katsuki’s watch clearly showing 2:02. “Come on in. I hear you’ve had a busy week?”

“Huh?” Katsuki asked, blinking at him as he closed the door. “You heard that?”

“You’ve been filling in on patrols?” Yutaka prompted. “It seems like you’re helping hold this place down, with all the Leads away.”

“I’m doing my best,” Katsuki said, feeling his face warm. “My teachers were awesome and let me skip a couple of days to stay here. I’m kind of dreading going back tomorrow, but I know I’m already pushing it, I can’t ask for more.”

“Just remember, it’s not about what you can’t do, right?”

“Yeah, I know I helped. Everyone else will just be happy about that. I just wish I could do more.”

“You’ll get plenty of chances next year,” Yutaka reminded him. “Not to mention the rest of your work studies time, this year.”

“But next year it’ll be my whole life,” Katsuki said, nodding. “I hope I still enjoy it as much, when I’m doing it constantly.”

“What will happen if you don’t?”

Katsuki hesitated. He knew what the answer was, but he hated feeling like a quitter, especially when he’d dedicated his whole life to something.

“You’ve met Igneo?” Yutaka offered.

“Oh. Yeah,” Katsuki said. “I guess if I don’t like it full-time, I could still do it part-time, huh?”

“It’s not all or nothing,” Yutaka agreed. “Everyone is different, and has their own pace to work at.”

“Yeah.”

———

Katsuki had just sat down with his notebook, when the dorm doors opened, ushering in a little group of his classmates, grinning and laughing together. He didn’t look up, lest he be sucked in, but his eyes shifted sideways, getting a quick glimpse of who was there.

“Hey, Blasty,” Mina said, the moment his eyes landed on her. “I don’t normally see you on Sunday nights, are you back early?”

“A little,” he acknowledged. “I normally spar with people, but everyone is away sick and stuff, so there wasn’t really anyone around to work with.”

“Aw, that’s a shame! Yeah, there seem to be some nasty bugs going around. Was it a good week? You were gone for days.”

“It was good,” he agreed, not missing the way every face in the group had turned his direction, waiting for the juicy stories he couldn’t give them. “Busy, but good.”

“It’s so cool that they want you there so much,” Ochako said, smiling wistfully. “I didn’t even get to go, this week.”

“Is Miruko busy with a job?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “She didn’t have space for me this week, I get it!”

“Deku is the same,” Katsuki offered, trying to sound sympathetic. “I’m just lucky that he has an agency, I guess.”

“It really makes you think about the offers you take on!”

If Miruko got sick, who covered her usual areas? Katsuki wondered if he’d ever get a chance to ask her about it. She seemed like the type who would be open to it, at least.

“Did you go on a bunch of patrols and stuff today?” Mina asked. “Since you weren’t sparring?”

“I did a few this morning. How come?”

“Too tired for a workout?”

“Oh. No, never. Gimme a minute to change?”

“Me too, no rush!”

Katsuki nodded, setting his stuff aside for later and stretching lightly as he stood up. An image of emerald eyes far too close to his face flashed through his mind, and he turned away before anyone could see him blush.

“Meet you back here soon,” he said, as he headed for the elevators.

“See you soon!”

He hurried off to change, breathing a sigh of relief once he was out of his classmates’ sight. When the elevator stopped at his floor, though, he almost ran straight into a broad chest, stopping at the last second to avoid collision.

“Bakugou!” Kirishima said brightly. “Welcome back!”

“Thanks,” he said, glancing toward his bedroom door. “I’m about to head to the gym with Mina, can we catch up after?”

“Sure! You two seem to work out a lot together, lately. I’m almost a little jealous!”

“Sorry,” Katsuki said, trying his best to ignore the way Kirishima’s eyes widened. “I’ve been using Deku’s gym a lot, so I haven’t been in the school one much. You up for early mornings? We could go instead of me running.”

“You don’t have to, I wasn’t complaining!”

“I want to. If you do, I mean. It’ll have to be early.”

“What days are you around?”

“Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday.”

“I can definitely manage four early starts a week,” Kirishima assured him. “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, tomorrow. But I’d better go, for now.”

“Of course. Have fun with Mina!”

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

They switched places, and Katsuki headed into his bedroom, digging out a pair of leggings and a baggy t-shirt. Most of his gym clothes lived in his apartment now, so it took him a minute to find something decent, especially finding a shirt long enough to cover his legging-clad ass. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the damn spandex-thing.

“Ready to go?” Mina asked, when he hurried back down to the common area.

“Yep, sorry.”

“All good, I told you it was fine!”

“Still.”

Mina was in a pair of galaxy-print leggings that Katsuki was honestly a little envious of; he was convinced that fun patterns must have made them much more bearable to wear than plain black.

“Do you ever get used to the leggings?” Katsuki asked, when she caught him looking. “I feel like people are just staring at my ass constantly, laughing at me behind my back.”

“Oh Blasty. They’re definitely staring at your ass, but I promise they aren’t laughing.”

“Shut up,” he huffed, swiping at her half-heartedly. “You know what I mean.”

“I think girls are more used to it,” she suggested. “We wear tight-fitting stuff more often, and leggings are ridiculously comfortable compared to some stuff we wear.”

“Then why do you wear it? What happened to feminism?”

“Because it looks cool!” she laughed. “I’m not doing it to make men look or because I’m supposed to or something, I just love the way stuff looks and it makes me happy, even if it’s not very comfortable.”

“I guess that’s fair.”

“You’ve never worn something just because it looked cool?”

“I don’t think so. Maybe my gauntlets, to some extent.”

“That’s the perfect example, actually. They’re not convenient at all, but they do the job, they match your aesthetic, and you like them, so you use them anyway.”

“I think Deku got me some new ones made, they’ll probably be different.”

“Are you serious?! That’s so cool!”

“Mm. I haven’t seen them yet, the engineer who made them has been away with Deku, so I have to go see him when he’s back. I think they’ll be really different though, like my costume.”

“Costume?”

Mina blinked at him, and Katsuki just stared back, taking a second to process.

“Did I not tell you?”

“No!”

“Oh. I uh, I told Kirishima, I guess I just assumed I’d told you too.”

They headed into an empty studio, and while Mina got her tablet hooked up, Katsuki leaned against the wall ladders to watch.

“They have special tech that I’m probably not supposed to talk about,” he explained. “So when I got the work studies offer, Deku had a new costume made for me, using it. It’s so tight it’s practically painted on, it’s awful, but it does a special job so I just kinda have to suffer through it. I haven’t brought it to school, I thought it was probably safer to leave it there, since they’re worried about the tech falling into the wrong hands.”

“That’s so cool,” Mina gushed. “You have top secret tech and you haven’t even graduated yet!”

“Yeah,” Katsuki said, cracking a smile, “It doesn’t look much different, other than the tightness. And it’s darker, less green and stuff.”

“You must be glad he didn’t just redo your entire theme and everything.”

“Yeah, I would have been really embarrassed if he’d felt like I needed to start over.”

“I think your costume is pretty cool, for the record.”

“Thanks. I think I did well, compared to some students.”

“Like Todoroki’s first attempt?”

“Exactly like that.”

They shared a quick grin, then Mina started a video, letting them fall into step together just like always. It had become a comfortable routine, and Katsuki found it surprisingly relaxing, these days.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked, when they turned so she couldn’t see his face.

“Of course.”

“I was in the gym earlier. I needed to talk to Deku, but he was in the middle of a workout, so I just decided to do a couple of lifts while I waited.”

“Yeah?”

“He um, he told me I was looking stiff, so he came over to help me stretch out.”

Even though Katsuki was only looking at the back of her head, he felt like he could see the shit-eating grin that spread across her face.

“It was super awkward,” he admitted, his face hot. “He was so close to me, I’m not used to being that close to someone if I’m not punching them or something.”

“Please tell me you didn’t pop a boner in spandex.”

“What?! No!” Katsuki insisted, gritting his teeth when the video had them turning around again, where Mina could see his bright red ears and neck. “Not like that, it was just…”

“I don’t blame you,” Mina assured him, when he trailed off. “Deku is hawt, and it’s about time you had a crush on someone. Honestly, crushing on the number one hero seems pretty on-brand for you.”

“I don’t have a crush on him!”

“Sure, buddy.”

Katsuki hesitated, grumbling to himself, but Mina didn’t push it.

“I took him dinner once,” he said quietly. “He was eating shitty konbini dinners, so I thought I’d take him some actual food, get on his good side or something.”

“Oooh, lucky man, I love your dinners.”

“He appreciated it, so that was good. I was gonna do it again the next night, but I… chickened out.”

“How come? He made a big fuss or something?”

“A little, not a huge one, but uh… I kind of had a panic attack.”

Mina froze behind him, and Katsuki turned to look when he heard her heels hit the floor.

“Are you okay?” she asked, eyebrows knitting together. “Does this happen a lot?”

“It used to,” he admitted. “I’ve gotten better.”

“Is that why you screamed at Todoroki, that day?” Mina asked, her face falling. “Because your anxiety was so bad?”

“I think so,” Katsuki said, sighing. “It was stupid, I just kinda freaked out, I don’t know. So probably, yeah, it’s usually an anxiety thing when shit happens and I don’t know why.”

“I’m so sorry, Bakugou. I didn’t know, I wish I could have helped.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t need help.”

“That doesn’t mean your friends don’t want to give it.”

Katsuki paused, taking a few deep breaths before he nodded, just once.

“Next time. I’ll um, tell you. I hope you will, too, if you… need someone.”

“Thank you. I will.”

He quickly went back to the video, copying along, and for a long time, neither of them spoke.

“Really though, Bakugou, I hope you know it’s totally normal to have a crush like that,” she said softly, when the video came to an end. “And feeling wound up over it is normal too, hormones and shit are weird like that. Obviously I’m not saying tell him, but even if Deku found out, I bet he’d just laugh and say it was cute or something. He probably has a thousand people a day telling him they want to marry him.”

Katsuki’s stomach churned, and Mina smiled knowingly.

“Normal,” she said again. “And if you want to talk about it, or vent or whatever, I won’t say a word. You know I won’t.”

“I know,” Katsuki nodded. “And uh, same to you, you know.”

“I know,” she said, smile brightening a little. “You’re like a vault, we can all pour our secrets to you and know that there’s zero chance of it spreading, you’re not like that.”

“I forget it all the moment you say it, anyway.”

“Sure you do, buddy.”

[Chapter 28]