[Salvos] 97. Found (Removed for KU)

Mostly because, as Lily had said, Salvos and Daniel would die if they face Belzu now. Also, the company war is another example of consequences. Every action in the story so far has had consequences, even minor ones played for laughs such as Salvos stealing a map. Maybe I'm making it too difficult on myself by trying to establish consequences for every single action in the story, but I can't improve my writing without writing more.

MelasD

I have to ask why the guild wars plot is necessary. What does it do that bringing the Belzul army into play couldn’t? It seems pretty likely that the war is going to be the excuse for Salvos to murder people and evolve again. Maybe she even gets caught transforming into a demon. However, it needs to be asked, why not use the Belzul army. A lot of the reader criticisms wouldn’t really apply with the Belzul army while still allowing you to hit the same basic plot points.

Elayda

"tried to stay at the treetop{}" - recommend adding an "s" onto "treetop". "Edithe's eyes {glazed} over" - I'd recommend "glanced".

J

Can't wait for Salvos to get to the city. Thx for the chapter.

Javier Runco

As note if we're talking kings and nobles then the question wouldn't be if the country is strong and willing to do anything about the guilds. It would be if the local nobles are strong and willing to do anything about the guilds. Then you have to go past tradition which this seems to be however the Iron Company guys uh broke some rules I belive and are likely to have a hammer come down on them. Can't imagine the Guild can let their actions go. Also by all rights from what I can tell they're basically landed mercs. That automatically suggests a higher status for the companies than just some adventurers duking it out btw.

I thought both this chapter and the previous one were great as always, as for consequences for what the Iron Champions are doing, there are lots of explanations you could come up with. For example, you could say that it's just been too short a time for anything to have happened yet as you said with the WWI example. Or you could say that both companies allies haven't stepped in because that would rapidly escalate it beyond control, and as for the kingdom, you could say that depending on the size of the company that the kingdom either can't afford to step in if they're big enough (because I'm pretty sure you said the bigger companies spanned across multiple kingdoms) or even if the company isn't that huge, the various nations still rely on adventurers to deal with monsters and can't afford to get involved with adventurer matters unless something egregious was committed. Those are just examples of things you could say that I think would fairly plausibly wrap things up. Anyways, don't mind the haters, if they don't like the story they can read something else.

Brian

As always : more Salvos!

Lowe K. Lyesmith

While even I was a little critical previously, I still ultimately like the chapters, excited to hear where it goes! Suppose its great for growth of certain characters like Edith. Foreshadowing some allies coming in to help the Valiant Dreamers hopefully no friendly fire with Salvos lol

Crackafilenight

Thanks and I think the iron champions are just trying to get this done quickly so people don't realize what they did and also they probably have someone high ranking covering for them or protecting them

Edwin Canarte

> The biggest issue for me was the logic surrounding allies, and how if the Iron Company declared war then the Dreamers would get allies to help. Huh, was that what people thought was being said? I must have explained it poorly then. No, the Valiant Dreamers would get allies to help regardless. The problem is unrelated third parties joining in. My logic comes mostly from vidya games like Crusader Kings or Total War here, so it might not hold up in reality, but I can name an instance of it in recent times right now if need be, but let me explain: Regardless of who declares war, the Valiant Dreamers' allies will join in to help. But if the Iron Champions Company declared war, they'd be seen as the aggressors officially. This would attract third parties. Enemies of the Iron Champions or companies that are opportunistic, hoping to expand upon the Iron Champions sphere of influence, would be given a justification to declare war on the Iron Champions then. In vidya games, when a country is being expansionistic and aggressive, other countries are more likely to declare war on you, especially since they feel threatened. The same thing can be said in history, such as World War 2. Nazi Germany's expansion across Europe prior to Poland instigated talks of intervention within the French and the British Empires, despite the fact that Nazi Germany wasn't directly attacking them. Why? Because their expansionistic nature, and the history between the countries, gives them cause for worry that such a thing could happen to them too. I'll have to go back and see where I mistyped and what caused people to misinterpret Edithe's fears and concerns. But it was never my intention to say the Valiant Dreamers Company's allies will not support them. But here's a direct quote where I said this exact line of reasoning, albeit less fleshed out. > Waiting for the Valiant Dreamers to declare war first eliminated this risk. The other companies that were enemies of the Iron Champions but not allies of the Valiant Dreamers would have no justification to join in a war unrelated to them. If the Iron Champions declared war first— without due cause— these companies would have jumped on them, claiming that they were acting to counter the Iron Champions’ aggression. But since the Iron Champions were the ones being attacked, these companies could not act. > Only the allies of the Valiant Dreamers could justifiably act in a way that didn’t just paint a target on their backs. So, even if the Iron Champions plan to crush the Valiant Dreamers Company as soon as possible failed, they could still fall back and recuperate.

MelasD

I’m really enjoying this arc, including last chapter. That said, I empathize with parts of the criticism. The biggest issue for me was the logic surrounding allies, and how if the Iron Company declared war then the Dreamers would get allies to help. I think the underhanded assassin not-war strategy of the Iron Company totally makes sense in the context of avoiding notice of the empire overlords. In a world where an entire town was wiped out by a demon and the empire couldn’t be bothered to help, it definitely fits that they would look the other way when some company in a backwater province bent the rules a bit so long as they weren’t too blatant about it. However, it seems like if the Dreamers had allies that would come to their aid if they were attacked, said allies would realize that declaration of war or not, the Iron Company were the aggressors. Maybe if you ever go back and edit, you could expound upon how some of their allies have been unreliable and would probably only follow the letter of their mutual defense treaty? In the scheme of things, this wasn’t sufficient to knock me out of my suspension of disbelief, but it clearly caused issues for some readers.

Kevin Caffrey

I’m sorry to hear that people were using slurs in the comments, that’s never constructive or warranted. I’m one of the people whose suspension of disbelief was strained by what the iron champions seem to be getting away with, but i want to be clear that I’m really enjoying the story. It’s because I enjoy the story so much that I care enough to comment when something seems off. And at the end of the day, it’s your story to tell the way you see fit.

Simon Casey

I don't remember him

Noble Defect

Honestly, I normally try to take criticism constructively and make changes where necessary, but last chapter was really brutal since I spent the entire day until 2am after I finished my essay in the morning writing it.

MelasD

Ignore the haters, I'm loving your story here and really hope you keep up the good work!

Amaryllis

Poor chain dude Salvos couldn't even remember you😔

Yeno Memevig