NEW PATREON TIERS ADDED AND LATELY THINGS ARE...

NOTE: DO NOT SHARE THESE PICTURES OR POST THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA! They are ultra private and Hanako does not want these shared. Please respect her wishes!

What's up guys!

 So I just sent all of you a message but to reiterate... I have updated my Patreon pledge tiers and now all of you need to rejoin at the level you feel the most comfortable doing. These levels include:

 Access to posts
Two random chekis sent to you monthly
AMA at the end of the month
Special discount promo code for Idol underworld purchases
Cumulative level that also includes a random idol good
Set up an idol interview
Set up an idol show
Commission an idol photobook

Lots of fun stuff! 

The reason I did all of this was because, honestly, I felt like I can do more for all of you and you also could help me achieve my financial goal faster if I possibly gave you more to be interested and excited about giving me money to follow my dreams. So I hope what I came up with would work for you on one of these levels I've created and you'll rejoin me on my journey. I just took a huge chance doing this, since there's no guarantee any of you will even be patrons to me after this, but... I had to do something to get me moving faster towards my goal of financially not worrying about bills every month. Anyway, hope you guys have fun with these. Let me know your comments and thoughts about the tiers. All feedback is truly appreciated.

Lately, I've been super busy with various things relating to the documentary but also to my personal life. I had a letter I wrote to HER, and tried to give it to her when I saw her recently, but she just flat out wouldn't take it because it wasn't the right time to give it to her. She was super busy, which I understood, but maaaan, talk about feeling unimportant, you know? I think that's also kind of the answer I was looking for... if I mean that little, then fuck it. The thing is, I had talked to her recently since I ran into her the other day (we for some reason cross paths more than I wish we did), and I told her I had a letter for her (this was before I actually tried to give her the letter), and she kind of looked at me and shook her head as if to say she didn't want it. I told her not to worry, that it would be my last letter ever to her, and she had this look in her face like I had just wounded her... like... "this is my last letter?". So it was kind of strange to see that reaction if she's been ignoring me like she has this much.

I asked her one last time to return to me or else I'm writing her off. I have other adventures to pursue and I can't keep being this depressed and this down about her anymore. It hurts way too fucking much. I get all shaky when I think about the days and weeks that have gone by these past few months that last year were spent with with her having great nights together... it's just unreal... I mean, we were doomed from the start and I knew that, for many reasons, we would never survive, but there was a moment when I actually thought we would have a life together forever... and she really did open up to me and tell me things and show me things that felt too personal and real to be fake. Those memories are more precious to me than the skin on my own bones, which I would gladly take a dull knife right now and cleave off my body if it meant having her back with me. 

But this is something I can't do anymore with her, apparently, so I've made one last appeal, and then I have to break mentally from her, and probably from loving anyone else ever again. I mean... that's one of those emo things you say when you want to be dramatic, but given my age and my position here in Japan, surrounded by girls I can't fuck and don't want to fuck (because they are all more like my daughters than these rare creatures of beauty that I, as a man, would want to stick my dick inside of. I don't even think that way like, ever, about any of them. Seriously), and how busy I am especially, how will I meet somebody ever again? This girl I loved pursued ME. I didn't go after her. So... I dunno. Enough on this for now. I have to think about what to do with my post-breakup life, now that I feel maybe to have closure finally on it all. We'll see what happens if she actually takes my letter and reads it. I'm not going to hold my breath and die twice because of her disappointing me. Not again.

I filmed Hanako San tonight at her live. It was fucking brutal, but confusing... I wanted to talk with her before the show about some stuff, but she just was not reading my texts at all. And I don't know what happened... we had talked right up to the point of me getting to the venue because of needing to arrange things today... and then, nothing. Still nothing, as of the time of me writing this post. Then live... she went nuts, as per usual, but she had a bunch of bananas onstage and launched one right at my dick! It was a direct hit, and it fucking took all my strength in the world to not drop my camera. Then, after that, at the end of her set, she did her usual food throwing and juice spitting, and she just targeted me and caked me in noodles and flour and other assorted awful smelling shit. And then she took banana juice and directly sprayed it right into my camera. 

I was covered in noodles and juice, though the footage I got was solid gold and worth it. The only scary part was that I thought she fucked my camera lens up... it wouldn't focus after this happened, and also was pretty sticky. I went home fast after the show and cleaned it to perfection and dried it out. Seems to be working fine, but if it's broke... there goes 900 dollars of a lens down the drain... but fuck it! All for that creative drive... that's why I did it. I knew she would target me... she tends to do that when I'm at a live of hers... I mean, nobody is fucking safe at her shows, but I didn't think she would direct shot my camera lens. It was insane. I didn't move an inch when she was hitting me with noodles and flour and juice. I stayed completely still... and I suffered for it. So I hope all of you fuckers will enjoy that footage! It's absolutely ridiculous!

I am getting nervous because all this footage I have is on two solid state drives... I need to back them up again and also I want to get all this put up on cloud storage somehow and buy some more HD's since I'm about all out of space on the two I have. 

Can you guys help me with this? If something happens to this footage... I would die. Literally just would quit life. I've spent so much time and money and now... my pride getting swallowed by a tiny Japanese ghost demon who fucking destroyed me last night with juice and noodles... I can't lose this footage. It's too precious, too important, especially given how Hanako does not let anyone post footage of her lives anywhere, and she gave me access to her lives.

For now.  She might change her mind and hate me with all her heart. You never know with ghosts.

Anyway, hope you guys give me some feedback and contributions. Hope to hear from you all! Thanks so much!