No Sleep Till.... Tokyo?

That's an old Beastie Boys reference. Not sure why I am thinking of them at the moment, but... yeah. Bonus points for you if you are actually old enough to catch my switch in the song title there.

Anyway, how is everybody doing? Been a minute since I've did one of these posts. Not that I've lost interest or anything; just been super busy with getting work done that needs done, you know? Like, suuuuuper busy. I haven't slept much in the past two weeks. Maybe a total of a few hours each night? That kind of sleep schedule has been taking its toll on me.

The issue is things like the fact that Merry Bad End has no lives this week until the weekend, which means I can get a LOT of work done, but then I get into these modes where I'm doing most of the work at night, like at four in the morning, and I don't go to bed until 9 or 10AM the next day, but then somebody or something will usually require my attention in the daytime, and so yeah... no sleep. It never fails in this regard.  I took a step back and realized that I have no less than twenty or so things going on with me right not that need my constant attention or else things start slipping. 

For example, today, I went to sleep at like 9:30AM but got up at 11:30 or so because I had an unexpected visitor stop over to help me arrange the Idol Underworld Office. This person really wants to help me and so I had to go get this person at my station, which is like fifteen minutes away or so, then we had to go walk to the thrift store to pick up some more stands for the office since I will in all likelihood be getting several new groups this month to join IU. When she's done doing that, I am attending a lecture by Patrick Galbraith, who wrote a lot of great books about Otaku culture and other things that nerds like me will find interesting (plus he is my documentary!). Immediately after the lecture, I then will need to head to Shinjuku (or is it Shibuya? I can't remember) to attend a DJ event in which Beni from Avandoned and Yoneko will be guest DJ'ing. At that show I need to talk to Beni about setting up a meeting with XIDEA to get their entire roster (this includes the almighty JyuJyu), which I am not sure if she'll do or not for me. Not that she wouldn't want to do that, but it's more the managerial people I need to talk to in order to do this, and I'm not sure if Kotoke, her manager, will be at this event or not. Then again, Beni is like an all purpose idol... she does everything from the idol thing to the managing thing, so maybe she'll come thru for me? 

I also need to help Yoneko with getting her music on Spotify, since she has a huge interest in spreading her music with Spotify. She asked me to help her so I'm guessing I'll be doing that this evening too. After the show, I might also need to stop over the office that hired me to help with their website and go over some things with them. Then after that, I need to come home and work on my documentary for the rest of the evening, which includes selecting the scenes for the trailer and also writing out the storyboard so that I can get this figured out in its entirety. 

IN addition to this, I'm also working on two books I've been writing forever, studying Japanese as much as possible, working on a new website for idol fans, and coming up with two stories and film concepts for music MVS I was asked to direct. After this, I have to work on interview questions for idol interviews I'm setting up, and also work on getting new groups added to Idol Underworld, plus process all new orders for Idol Underworld that I've received. 

And I need to find ways to make more money here, since I'm always way behind on this aspect of living in Tokyo. Everything costs so damn much here, you know? And lately, too, I've really been wanting to find somebody to have fun with here... not exactly a girlfriend, but just somebody to see occasionally, I guess? Or maybe more, depending on how much we can tolerate each other. I get really lonely here and super distracted and I need to focus more now than ever in my life. 

I have outlined three major goals this year, which include: the documentary completion and release, doing an Idol Underworld taiban on my birthday here in Tokyo, and doing a European or American tour with some idol groups from IU, or possibly just one or two idols. I'm not sure yet what I want to do in this regard. These three things all involves money. Lots of money. As a bonus goal, I would really love to finish my novels, but yeah... not sure that will happen anytime soon. Also, I need to become fluent in Japanese... like enough to take idols overseas without needing anyone to help me do that. The moment I can get confident enough to do this, I will be able to expand what I'm doing with idols in a much larger fashion.

For now, I enjoy just doing what I do, you know? Taking cheki if idols has become this really incredible and fun experience every single time. The idols are always super kind to me when I do this with them, and we talk and it's fun, and plus I get to take cheki of idols... that itself is a huge reward and very personally fulfilling for me.   Also, I love when foreign fans of idols come here to Tokyo and I can go with them to their very first idol shows or just go to a show in general with them and watch their experience with an idol for the first time. Or help translate during a cheki if I'm asked to do that, which I often am (and it's funny because my Japanese is not that great). This happened recently with XTEEN, as I had to take cheki of Shion and Hina. Jinja was out for the time being. A foreign fan went to the show and was watching XTEEN for the very first time. I loved watching him as he went to the front of the stage at Milky Way, which is where the live was, and the XTEEN fans treated him like he was one of them and they were holding him and pushing him right in front of Hina and Shion, both of whom were giving him lots of attention and doing their duty to suck him into the XTEEN universe. Afterwards, he did cheki with both members and Shion was having a hard time with the cheki so she kept referring to me and asking me questions to ask him, since I was standing next to them both when they did the cheki with each other. It was complete bliss to help them both communicate and to watch this foreign fan caught in that idol tractor beam. He couldn't speak much or do much at all, except smile and be super happy that he met her. Shion was so nervous too, and especially not feeling confident about the show because Xteen was down a member in the mighty and beautiful Jinja. IU reassured her, like I often do with these idols, and she seemed happy. Well, happy enough to take some absolutely incredible cheki for me to restock IU with. The whole experience really reminded me of why I do what I do, because sometimes it's good to be reminded of the joy of being in this strange and crazy world of idols. Though at the same time, when I'm home all week and not at an idol show, that is more strange to me these days, since I used to live at the venues every week when I worked for Necroma. And lately, I've been missing the Necroma girls a whole hell of a lot. I have been seeing a lot of posts online about them lately, and it just makes me super bummed out because I really do miss them. But... that ship has sailed and it's honestly better this way, even if it doesn't feel like it's better this way. I couldn't possibly run IU if I was helping a busy idol unit like Necroma. That's why working with MBE is a good thing at this time... it keeps me in the show loop but not too much that it eats up all my time. I have so little time right now I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. Like... lack of sleep has caused me to hallucinate a little, I think, as lately I think I'm seeing things that aren't there? Or maybe I am? And I have no energy except for when I'm at idol lives and need to be genki or else people would notice and comment (though lately, a lot of idols and staff keep asking me if I'm tired... so it must be all over my face when they see me how little sleep I am getting). And also I keep falling asleep on the trains and missing my stops. That has almost caused me to have to walk home from very far away a few times at night, when I'm literally on the last trains before they stop running. 

And by the way, trains stopping in Tokyo... fucking worst idea ever. Just stay open...... it would make sense, right, for a city that prides itself on having izakayas and nightclubs open all night!

Sorry, bit of a sidestep there.

I have some other news to share, which is really why I wanted to get this post out. This is all important so pay the hell attention and please, please, PLEASE comment on these news points. I seriously need feedback on some of these news items!

1- The DOC IS FINISHED! Well, the shooting part is done, at least the major stuff. I need to do a day of B-roll, since I had hired somebody to do that and he didn't do anything at all what I wanted or needed. So yeah, a little bit of that kind of thing and I'll be totally done. I think it's good to wait to shoot that B-roll stuff because I need to storyboard the document and sift through everything I have now so that it all kind of makes sense and works in a kind of flowing narration. But I filmed Chihiro the other night at at business hotel. She sometimes stays at hotels after lives, and though I really wanted to film her at her mother's place, that was impossible due to her mother being rather difficult to get to agree to a gaijin invading her home with a camera. I get it... honestly, I do, but the compromise was that we would do the hotel filming instead and Chihiro would just show me what she's like when she is NOT working, or at an idol live. So she did exactly that. I filmed her for like two hours doing just... normal stuff she would do after coming home from a live. It was fascinating, mostly because Chihiro's personality came out in a huge way... she would NOT stop talking to me, which was incredible... she kept involving me in everything she was doing, whether it was taking the makeup off her face and joking about it (which I found adorable and hysterical), to throwing away garbage and turning THAT into something unusual and funny to watch. Just... I wanted her to ignore me and just act naturally, and she kind of did that... because I think with Chihiro, the interesting thing about her is that she is truly alone a lot and not happy, but when she's around others, she becomes super genki and happy and turns it on really well... like she just fucks with everybody around her and also just wants to share so much of who she is with those around her. She kept showing me so many things about herself and her life and then toying with the camera and also trying to speak English, which she is adorably awful at doing... then she'll speak rapid fire Japanese to me, as though I know even a third of what she's saying, but she doesn't care... she just goes. And goes. And Goes. 

After the hotel filming was over, Me, Chihiro, the other two girls in MBE, and Kenji, their manager, all went out to a Korean restaurant to celebrate the documentary wrapping. It was honestly one of the best moments of my life, at least in the idol world. They treat me like I'm their family. It was especially nice because earlier in the day, before the idol live they had, we we all met for a three hour meeting. It was held inside of a Karaoke booth, and it was sooo long but soooo interesting too. Like... I was really happy to be included in the discussions they were having about the group. That was really fun, especially because they were actually asking me about my opinions as to where they should be going in 2020 with their direction, and so on. Just... holy shit, you know? I'm really part of what they are doing! It was incredible. I wish they had more fans though... like four guys did cheki for the group that day.... just sad to see that when these three girls deserve to have ROOMS full of people waiting to do cheki with them. Not even going to lie... they are the best girls because they just have a lot of fun with each other, are seriously close to each other too and it really shows with their camaraderie, and yeah... they have become a new family for me to be part of. I still will always love the Necroma girls, don't get me wrong, but... this isn't really even a competition or comparison thing. I really just am having fun with them and I hope to keep doing that. And wrapping my documentary now means I can focus on the editing and getting the trailer done so I can get the kickstarter page going and hope and pray that I actually can raise enough money to pull this thing off. Still pushing for a March or  April release... so this needs to be priority number one for me. 

2- So I need to figure out what to do about the tier for doing a video. I want to do videos, don't get me wrong, but the wi-fi upload speed here in Tokyo is abysmal. I want to film with my camera but it will take me literally all day to upload a video, even a small one, and that slows my computer down when I do this... so what should I do instead of the video? Do you have any suggestions? I really, really would love to hear about your ideas, so please do help me with this if you can... I want to give something that would make it worth your time and I can actually do it regularly and not skimp out on the reward tier here. I don't want to do that at all, and you all deserve something for your contributions to helping me. So please let me know... I'm open to any and all ideas. Or even doing the video, if you all insist on that. But I really would like to know what you all think, so please do give me lots of feedback on this. And speaking of the reward tiers...

3- All the chekis have gone out! So those of you that do the cheki tier, THANK YOU! I really mean that! I would love to keep this going, since it's helpful to the idols I support and also helps me. And I should be getting several new groups which will mean even more variety of idol chekis to receive in this monthly mail out! I like doing this, so I hope you'll all continue to support me at this level. 

4- I really need to get a 10 terabyte storage device to upload all my documentary footage and also my computer's hard drive onto it. The reason for this is because I tried doing the cloud thing with google but... upload speeds are so bad It takes DAYS to upload interviews and other things I have in my documentary. So I was thinking if I just upload everything on a 10 terabyte monster drive and then put that away someplace safe, like a storage vault here in Tokyo, then at least I'll have that in case something awful happens. Can any of you help me with this? I wish the cloud services were not so hard to use here in Tokyo, but sadly, they are. I really don't know what to do about this, but I need to get something fast. Again, any help would be deeply appreciated in this regard.

And that's it for now, I think. I am getting so far into the idol world that it's become harder to do anything else with my life, but little by little, I am trying to figure out things for myself. I'm not going to lie... I still get choked up a bit at idol shows. Like watching Xteen bust their asses onstage to win over the foreign fan and also the few fans that were at the show, especially knowing that Hina's voice was blown and Shion was super not confident because Jinja was not there. Or seeing MBE retain this incredible Genki spirit at their lives and when they are doing cheki with their jouren, despite afterwards feeling like they are not doing good at all because nobody is watching them at the lives. I also feel like I have to learn to be really patient with idols and their staff, since many of them do not seem to know how to market themselves in the least, or many of them graduate suddenly and without warning (like Rino from Squall just did... what a blow to the Idol community that was), or just in general don't seem to give a flying fuck about anything. That's been one of my biggest challenges... not taking personal offense when groups I love and care about put me on a pay no mind list. I have to realize that many of them are super busy, but still, you can only use the "busy" excuse for so long before I realize that you aren't really THAT busy... you are just too busy to deal with me. Currently, there are a few groups like that I'm dealing with that are driving me up the fucking wall with their apathy, and especially because of how deeply important these couple groups mean to me on a personal level.  And then of course, when I try to talk to new groups and they just completely ignore me or never get back to me when I message them, or do the whole smile to my face and pretend like they want to work with me and then I never hear from them again. Yeah, that shit sucks. 

But then I have to remember things like how just two days ago, a group I've known forever and who I recently messaged not only got back to me super fast, but practically all but invited me to come work for them as staff! They will be joining IU this week, more than likely, and that was a total shock but also a good counter-balance to what I just wrote about some of the groups I'm involved with now but who don't get the concept of marketing whatsoever. 

Anyway, enough of that. I could complain a lot more, but that doesn't really advance me forward in life, does it? I need to be moving forward all the time, or I might as well quit now and just become a Hikikomori. 

Kind of like some of the idols I work with.

Talk to all of you soon. Please do give me some comments! I got more posts coming here. Just wanted to get this one belted out now while I had a moment! All my love to everybody!

UPDATE!!!! ----
So, I had paused writing this because I was waiting on getting permission from Kenji, manager of MBE,  to include the screenshots of Chihiro in this post. That took a whole day to get the permission. So while I was waiting for that, I ended up going to see Yoneko and Beni perform at the DJ event in Shinjuku. It was a total blast, lots of fun, and the best part was that I got to help Yoneko after the live do her cheki session with fans! I had to wait to speak to her about IU anyway, so I figured why not help her instead of sitting in the gakuya all night doing nothing? So I met a ton of old Belruha fans who still follow Yoneko and they were all extremely kind to me (and extremely curious about why some gaijin is helping out Yoneko, hahahaha! Too funny). At the end, one fan even requested that me and Yoneko take a cheki together! I've been asked before to do cheki with fans, and take selfies, but with Yoneko.... it's like a dream come true, considering what an iconic legend she is and who she is as a person. I was soooo thrilled. And also it was so much fun to watch Yoneko do the "Yoneko" thing... sucking these fans into her vortex of insanity and great conversations that she enjoys having with everybody. I was in awe, watching her work the long line she had. She is such a pro at being an idol when she needs to be. 

It was fun to talk to Beni too... we have a very easygoing work relationship. She's just super chill about everything, and super kind, and always remembers to thank me for everything. She even took a selfie with me backstage, which blew me away, because I don't know why she would do that. No idols do that backstage with staff, so I felt very very lucky. I think too it's because her and Chihiro are both my center lines in my documentary. They both are REALLY shown in my documentary a great deal, and Beni is a true example of what a Japanese idol is and can be, so I was glad that she wanted to "remember the moment", as she told me was her reason for asking for a selfie. Idol bunka is like that... just always wanting to treasure the times we have together. And I can appreciate that, because I still very much that it is a privilege to work for these girls and know them like I do. I really hope all of you will take time to check out both Yoneko and Beni, and Avandoned as well, since they bring me pure joy all the time.

Anyway, just wanted to include this fun little mini-story. It was a lovely and welcome surprise and a good reminder of why I do this job. I felt like I had dunked my entire head in a pile of cocaine... I felt so high from the experience that I kept telling the girls that the night was so much fun and they were laughing at me because for them, it's just business as usual, but they don't understand that the happiness I saw with all the fans taking their cheki with both of them is my happiness too, in a vicarious sort of manner. 

Of course, when I got home, I had an email from a customer at IU who wanted a refund because his few chekis that he ordered were taking entirely too long to reach him. That brought me down to reality really, really fast. I felt awful about the situation, but there was nothing I could do about the delay due to being so back-logged. Most people are extremely kind about the situation and understanding. This person was very upset with me and I felt terrible, just.... what do I do? I asked him to be a little more patient, since all past orders have been shipped out, but his order I think I recently just shipped because, again, I was so massively back-logged. So we'll see what happens... I asked him to wait a little longer, and I pray that he does. I don't want to have to take money out of the hands of the idol he requested cheki from. I don't care about my money at all... I just don't want the idol to be hurt by the lack of finances, so yeah, I'm hoping this person understands that I deeply care about every customer at IU and it was just a really rocky first few months getting everything going, but now, ordering from IU is not going to be as crazy. So I hope, like... REALLY hope, that it smooths out. Every single order is special to me. As is every customer. And every idol I work with.
I wonder if I'll ever have somebody who feels that way about me?
Sorry, had to put that little emo statement in there, ha ha. Take care everybody. Back to work!