PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Story Of A Man Who Breaks Up With A High Quality Woman To Pursue Sexual Variety

Crazy how people think they are missing out by being faithful or loyal...you are not missing out...you are what everyone is attaining to be....I guess he feels like how do I know if we are sexually compatible... standing in water looking for H2O... Woman more than man but man too often allow their feelings to betray them....go back to her... dangerous...I use advise against it...or be extremely careful forgiveness isn't going to come so easy after you just completely messed up a near perfect relationship...near perfect is the best you can ask for.

I like the format. It makes you spontaneous. It also shows your knowledge and skill.

If it's only about sex, yes he can grieve it and go back with her. But if it's a doubt about his girlfriend for the long haul, then he needs to experience more women to be able to settle down without any nagging doubt.

In matters like this, women are hardwired differently from men. If she's so hypergamous, that won't change after a single learning event. She'll continue to cheat and continue to think she's "settled" for marriage to you. Proceed with caution, I say, and have all children tested for paternity.

I like the written format of the video.

If he was a virgin in his late 20s, he probably wasn't able to recognize a high-quality woman. He was probably enamored of the first woman who ever satisfied him, etc. After the breakup, he's naturally looking back with positive bias. Maybe he did get lucky and find a NAWALT in his first real girlfriend, but I think he was probably just p---- whipped.

Wish you all the best buddy! I think your girl definitely needs time to reestablish emotions. Do not put pressure on her by asking and expecting a decision right away. What is meant to be is meant to be, so will your potential relationship will if its meant to be. I think your first goal should be to have a great evening, laugh, touch. That's it. I mean, she is not dumb. There will always be "something" between you and her and she is aware of the difficult situation aswell. What is the current situation looking like?

Well this one hit home Alexander. My University gf and I broke up a year ago due to distance, and our jobs not being aligned with our future goals (I’m an athlete in another (rural) part of the country, she’s a city worker). With the pandemic my circumstances have changed, shortening my career and meaning I’ll have to transition into a new industry. It’s also completely changed the makeup of her sector, now working remotely is the norm. At the time we broke up I was also experiencing the feeling of sexual debt, her having been my only sexual experience of any significant length. Recently after experiencing more of the world and some HQW, my mind keeps coming back to her. I asked her for a coffee which we went on yesterday, where I followed your advice on asking for a second date while on the first 😄. She said yes to an evening drink, so we’re going next Friday when I’m back in town. Tried to play it cool and just be myself, we just caught up and laughed like old times. The point of me fleshing this out is to give context for my follow-up question to the video: how would you try and hold frame whilst trying to reestablish a relationship. I don’t want to come across as too keen, whilst wanting to show her that I’d like to see where things went if she was down for trying to make things work. This seems a toughish proposition, the main line I have so far is me asking her flat out what her thoughts are (after hopefully a fun evening!) and seeing where her head is at. Any thoughts on this subject would be greatly appreciated 🙏

I appreciated this topic deeply, as is truly familiar with my situation. I agree with everything you said

I liked the format Alex. Lovely advice and compassion as well. That was my reaction toward the end too, like "man, it sounds like your smartest option would be to see if you can process why you did what you did, then explain your actions and feelings to her while taking personal responsibility, and see if you can restart that relationship with her".

Blair

I don't think you can judge him to be a low quality man. I agree that the absolute trust may be impossible to recreate with his partner now but by definition if it's not his fault then how can it possibly reflect poorly on him? Can you honestly say that if you'd only ever been sexual with one woman that you would be okay with that for your entire life?

Steven

The grass is not always greener on the other side

Very interesting situation. I’m feeling the debt as well but have been weighing up whether these desires are truly validated or if it’s just that bottomless pit of desires. I’m not in a relationship but have always wondered if I would get that fear of missing out build up. Up until this video I had always resigned to the fact that I probably will feel it but would have to soldier through it for the sake of not risking the good that I got.

Craig

I liked this format. More please!

Kadz

I like this format, too, I really enjoyed it. I think it is great to hear from other people what they struggle with, when they are ready to share, and hear some thoughts and advice, and think about it myself, and learn from it. This was a great example, I'd be keen to see more of this format

If it bothers him, a man needs to address this sexual debt thing. You need to understand yourself and what motivates you, before you can love another. If the price of that is remaining single for the rest of your life, then that is far preferable to a commitment where you are constantly second-guessing who you are and what you might have become. imho. However, my perspective is rather different to that of most others... I have a theory of life that factors in reincarnation (within the context of QM and nonlocality)... what you don't address now will re-appear with each reincarnation until you finally get it. For those who don't believe, the secular notion of one life, fixed into the genetic code for life's short duration, after which it is swiped forever, things are rather more depressing. Casual sex with innumerable dreary encounters, with the ridiculous effort and waste of time that that entails, or compromise with yourself and another, where that nagging itch, fomo (fear of missing out), badgers you till your final breath? Get me off this planet.

Yea really good format. I have been dealing with similar issues, but I am going to trust the time and process on dealing with it.

Redhood52

I (44M my debt is paid off😊 ) have almost the same story to tell (the only difference with reversed genders and rolls). My Wife (35F) told me that she was missing something in her life (living alone, clubs, parties… ). She couldn't point out what it was exactly. She had this feeling for around five years. I'm her first for everything and 12 years with her. In the end, she got into an emotional affair. It was a tough time for me because I followed the whole affair live along (I'm an IT Security specialist). On the other hand, I was in a unique position to know what she dreamed and wanted. Thanks to Alexander Videos and some psychology books, I cold made sense out of it. After one week of separation, she told me that she had found already all she ever wished and wanted. She told me that her feelings that she was missing something are entirely gone.

I think this guy was unfortunately in one of those "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situations. He couldn't stay with this girl because he'd always wonder "what if", but he clearly has "oneitis" for her, and really the only way to shake that oneitis is by giving yourself evidence that you can be attractive to more than just one woman, and that there's no such thing as "the one". He needs to work through his grief for this girl and move on, there's plenty of other girls out there that he can find a "unique connection with"...

Communicate With Confidence

What the actual hell I feel sad for both people. But this man is now 27 and only slept with one woman albeit high quality? Damn. This is not acceptable and will not end well with his partner as already happened. He made a right decision to break up and start paying off his sexual debt. He is in massive debt. Body count MATTERS. It it true that high quality woman is rare but you will never get away from you resentment due to your sexual debt. Go paying it off and find another woman to settle down. It’s hard. But it’s necessary.

couldn't watch....

I like this format as well! It was a very interesting lesson to learn.

I enjoyed this format. I'll write up my own story soon and would love to hear your thoughts on where I've been and where I'm going next in my sexuality/relationship journey.

I went through this same thing. I broke up with my high quality gf of 14 months in order to sleep around. It was honestly fun and part of it I don’t really regret but we did end up getting back together for about 3 months.

I'm with both Oliver and with Jen. With Oliver because we would never think we are in love if we did not read somewhere that such a thing exists (that's from Alain de Botton). And with Jen because HE is not a high quality man - we can argue that it's not his fault but he's not, he's an articulate low quality man and he doesn't deserve his girl.

Marek Szumlas

Ohh... My god.😢This is so similar to my situation. And today I have been in tears all day. Only my situation is slightly different. Yesterday I broke up/called a halt to further dating with my wonderfull, sweet and warm loving date J.❤ I have known her for some years and I liked her so much for her sweet, shy, warm, caring and high moral carracter. I have just been throug/am still in the last part of a divorce from my ex wife who I have 3 kids with. It was hell and I was low. And by chanse I found an excuse to go on a date with J. I knew it was stupid but I so wanted to see her an find out if I stod a chance with her. And oh boy did I do. I found out she had been deeply in love with my and crazy with desire for me in all the years we had known each other. I was totally over whelmed. I had never experienced anything like that. Before my wife I was a virgin at 22. Now i am 40. With my wife it was me chasing her and it took over a year before I got her. She was with different guys during this year and I felt jealous afterwards when I got to know that. Also me myself had turned down women in this period when I chased my future wife (now ex) because I thought that was the right thing to do. It took me many years to quell the jealusy and the feeling of inferiority never went totally away. Then she cheated on my and it all came back in full force. I sweared I was going to pay down my debt before having a new love of my life. The jealusy and debt had been like a root cause of most of the problems in my marriage. It made me partly a simp, partly beta and affraid to set my boundaries and at the same time some times distant and depressed. I have done so many stupid deccitions in the last 22 years because I wanted her validation so bad to compensate for my debt. But with my ex'es personality that is somewhat cold I never got enough to fell confident in myself. Now with J.❤ she gave me so much validation all at once and she has been so good to me.❤❤😭 But it was not the right time. I was not finished with the divorse and I had not payed dow my debt. She is so sweet and shy and she has had some issues with anxiety that she is working on. So I felt so bad for seducing her at this time. She wanted sequrity and all my love. I gave her all of my best and we connected so deeply. But we live far appart and I knew I couldn't give her everything just now. And also I learned that in her younger years she had been with over 30 guys. And she is so sweet and shy I can't understand it. In the last 4 years I have known he she has been so appropriat. She never once hit on me even though she was crazy in love with me when I was married. She dressed well and never fooled around with guys at work. I also learned that she now has obstainded from sex and guys for 8 years before she was seduced by me and had sex with me on the first date. I love her so much.❤😢 I so want her and she wants me. But I can't let my bitterness and jealusy of my debt and her past ruin our love. And also all the mess in my life now with my kids and the aftermath of the divorce. I can't give her what she needs right now. And I have to be in an other place of normality and abundance before I can accept her past and be all in on a relationship. And I don't want to wast her time either she has only so litle time left to get a child of her own. If I take her now and mess up in two years I might have messed up her last chance to find a fathet to her future child ever. I could give her the chance to be a mother but I got to be ready before I can commit.😥❤⚘

What is this nonsense? This guy was a virgin at age 23? And his only experience is with an older woman? Poppycock... A man needs to sow his oats. And not with older women. I have never been with a woman older than 31... and I'm 48 (and married).

This is one of your better videos, I'd vote keep them coming :)

Rickard Fors

This story makes me so sad. What a shame it is he has no idea what he has given up and how little it will matter to him in the long run. Oh, how our motives change over time. If I'd only known then (when I was 18) what I know today. :)

JD Bruce

I’m curious, do you think a high quality woman would take him back after that? I don’t know if I’d be able to. The trust would be gone so a woman would likely not act the same as she did before - she’d likely hold back some of her heart, her submission, etc. It may depend on how the break up actually happened... what he said to her, etc. But, abandonment, cheating, and abuse are often hard stops.... even if there is still love left there.

I love this format! It’s similar to the podcast I loved all that time ago :) although this story made me just really sad.. I wonder if he would have left her if he never heard of ‘sexual debt’. Ignorance is bliss sometimes

Oliver