PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Why Straight Women Love Gay Men

I'm a gay man, so I'll put my two cents in here. A woman being friends with gay men doesn't mean she is more likely to be promiscuous. In many ways, the women around gay men live vicariously through their sexual exploits, trying to understand the many details of what it would be like to have male priviledge and also being able to indulge in the understandings of male sexuality. That being said, I do find myself being relationally drawn to women as well for different reasons than I do men. Gay men can definitely be drama inducing, I will say that. When you are with women, your dating pool is not necessarily affected by their presence and so you can confide in them. This is also why women feel they can confide in us as well, we are not competition at all and most iportantly, we're not out to get them sexually. I have first hand witnessed how women will soften up when I tell them that I am gay and I do not use this as a means to exploit them. I do find that this allyship is indeed very cartoonishly canonized, but also has some roots in truth.

They are not sexually harmless. They are another girlfriend. Girlfriends are not sexually harmless.

The giant sized caveat/disclaimer to this entire video being you make for 1000% sure he is in fact as gay as the day is long lol

Liam

Men in the art's( T.V, Stage, modeling ect) are known for this, state their gay then award rolls and status to females often many in their tribe work place for sex, from Marilyn Monroe, to Epstein, Harvey Weinstein, and many many others basically a type of sexual predator women like and often cover up.

Say you are asexual (and possibly aromantic if that applies as well). I’d highly suggest researching asexuality and what that means, the different types/terms because that could allow for an explanation of no sexual attraction without going into the nitty gritty of WHY there may be no sexual attraction. And there would be no need to claim being gay.

I am curious what other people think about this. Say for example you are a male who is a eunuch but you do not share that information for obvious reasons. You aren't homosexual either. Being with how society is.. How would you be able to help ease the mind of a female friend without them thinking you're gay or knowing you're a eunuch? Is this possible or should you just say you're gay anyways?

This is a good video, but sometimes, a man will catch his girl having sex with her "gay best friend." The trick is to get to know the gay best friend.

Cool topic! I hadn't really thought through this question before, so this was helpful! And it's cool that you found those interesting studies that shed light on this topic.

Blair

Coming to the shared feelings of being "other", is it really that much of a demarcation for women that they feel separate in different settings like in a classroom, workplace, public place etc? As a guy I may not be able to empathize too quickly but the way you're saying it makes it sound like that divide that we're not all humans but definitely, one of a bifurcation under the class of human is a little too emphasized.

Ashwin Srinivas

I have a gay best friend who I’ve been friends with since high school (in our 40s now). He even lived with my husband and I for a number of years before he met his partner (who now also has become a best friend in his own right). My husband considers both of them to be his best friends as well. And both have been informally adopted by all our parents (mine and my husbands). 😆 Why? They are fantastic guys… intelligent, kind, funny, and yes… SAFE. My friend Dan is 6’2 and his partner James 6’5 - neither are uber masculine but nowhere near effeminate either. Not only did I feel safe being alone with them and just hanging out because of the lack of sexual tension ever being an issue, but I always felt safe being out with him/them in public. In my 20s, if I wanted to go out dancing and drinking my husband had no issues with me going with Dan to a gay club. Granted, my husband came with us a lot too, but even if he didn’t for some reason, he never felt worried when I would go. Now we double date a lot, Dan and my husband, the two extroverts talking loudly about sports and cars and other shared interests. Me and James, the two introverts quietly talking about computers and video games and silently people watching. I think another possible factor with the some female/gay male relationships is this: bonding over shared feelings of being… “other.” I was a tomboy who in high school never dated, never wanted kids, just wanted to get out of the small town I grew up in. Gay men, still to this day, face homophobia and are constantly battling not quite fitting in with the male population at large. Women who feel different can feel a kinship with gay men in that regard even though the crux of those feelings are very different. It creates a very deep bond. If a man is worried about his girlfriend/wife telling a gay friend too much personal/private information about him and their relationship - that, of course, is a conversation worth having with having. You have a right to wanting to keep certain things private. But, otherwise - I agree with Alex, you should get over any concerns/issues you have with the gay thing and just focus on the personality of the men as people and look deep at how they influence the girls life (is it good or bad - and in what way). Then act or not act from there.

I feel the wisdom and knowledge just pouring over me! Thank you brother!

Thanks Alexander for the useful point of view. From experience I can confirm that it makes sense. The conclusion for me is: do not project emotions and hidden motivations, instead get to know a person better.

Hey bro

I think the reason why they love gay men is that they are sexually harmless to women. When women date men they like, they want to feel uncomfortable and fear (maximum their hypergamy potentials) because that's where the attraction comes from. However, women know gay men are not sexually interested in them, so they just don't feel any attraction from gay men, hence they can get along very well.