PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Women Who Comment On The Hotness Of Other Men

I love the explanation of why "you're weird" is an effective response to a test like that. I buy it.

Blair

If women uses shit test like these for testing if men likes other women even once, she is both insecure and not high quality women by definition. You are framing like guy insecurity is a big issue, but women insecurity, which leads to shit tests is not an issue.

Ignas

Thanks Alex :)

Honestly I feel like all these comments belong on the dark triad video, not this one.

I was definitely more of a bitch than a slut. And the way I heard it was, what's the difference between a bitch and whore? I swear to God I want nothing more than to start bashing heads in the more I think about it.

Jen, I agree that sexually objectifying celebrities or public figures is different.  As it is if you're in a long term relationship.  I've been with my guy over 25 yrs and we are constantly talking about the opposite sex.  There are certain actors and athletes that I crush on and he rolls his eyes and cracks jokes about them.  And he has his favorite female public figures that he calls his future ex wives and his baby mamas ("Angelina is so hot, but I told her to stop calling me at home!") It's just fun banter, especially since we are both old and fat, it makes it particularly silly. We get to tease each other AND get a free pass to sexually objectify someone other than our spouse. It's a win-win. But I have my own internal rule about it, with me being an ex-cheater. I never ever objectify men we know in real life, like in our greater social circle, or at my work, not even strangers out in public.  With my past, comments by me on the appearance of men near my physical location will definitely generate suspicion. Also, my husband and I have a tacit agreement to never say sexually suggestive things in front of the kid.

Jennifer Coopman

I had to Google what “negged” meant 😆. Based on the examples I saw, I’ve only experienced such behavior from a few people and it’s been from other women who I cut out of my life quickly after. But, I may be a bad comparison because I am super introverted and selective about who I talk to. Instead of “talking shit” I am more apt to be cool and cautious to start and will move quickly to giving a polite, but cold, shoulder if I see toxic red flags.

Hey ladies in here. Have you ever been so tired of being negged by dudes, so you learned to master the art of talking shit?

I think a bigger red flag especially in the beginning is her being upset about you just thinking other women are attractive. Not acting on it in front of her. Good point about any sort of out of character behavior of hers in a relationship that "appears" spontaneous isn't, even if she can't or won't articulate why she's taken it up.

Alex is only one (month long) boat ride away from Miami. He even lives on a beach!

Agreed. Using the words hot or sexy about another person in front of your partner is suspect. Although, I think there is some leeway with celebrities e.g. “I like [name] he/she is hot and a great actor/actress.” Words like cute/pretty/handsome/good looking can be used more often but will depend on context. As part of a broader conversation can be ok: e.g. “my sister has a new boyfriend. He is cute and funny and she really seems to like him.” But, random comments out of the blue are not appropriate: e.g “damn that guy we just walked by is cute.” Also, if you are asked a direct question, I think it’s fair to use those words if that is your honest answer. For example, one time my husband and I were at a bar and the bartender was stunning - like my mouth dropped open he was so handsome. My husband looked at me and asked “are you checking that guy out.” I was embarrassed as hell but said “yes, sorry, but that guy is hot.” He laughed at me and we moved on with our night. Granted I don’t usually do that so it was unusual for me. And, had I not focused on my husband and continued to stare at the bartender- that would have been hugely problematic though. And vice versa if the situation was reversed.

Hi Alex, thanks for your great content, you're my favourite along with Rollo T. and Rich Cooper. My ex gf/fiancée commented on other men all the time. She couldn't stop talking about the eye candies from the outdoor gym and I hated it, especially because while I'm decent looking, I'm not an alpha chad and I was deeply insecure at that time. What complicated things that she was bisexual and in the first phase of our relationship it seemed fun for me to talk about the looks of other women with her. I also hated when we came together with a female (now former) friend and they commented on the hot Tinder matches of that girl, and at the same time, my gf talked about me openly as the rich (by her standards at least) 'nice guy'. I wasn't red pilled at that time, but I felt there was something deeply wrong with this realtionship.

Agreed, it's just rudeness, she's no longer auditioning you for boyfriend role so shit tests are not ok.

Alexander Grace

Glad it helped!

Alexander Grace

Haha thanks!

Alexander Grace

I totally understand where you're coming from, thanks Kevin.

Alexander Grace

Also, needless to say, this video is spot on, and as psychology student who feels my university courses are ridiculous/un-noteworthy I’m so happy to have this wealth of knowledge at my fingertips. I generally not a commenter but this one caught me in a mood and so I felt motivated to respond.

Kevin Pereira

It’s 2:24 am down here in Florida (USA) so I don’t have the energy to write a full comment on your statements in the video but I must say your comments at the end were spot on. For newcomers of your content I can see them having mixed feelings/ideas of who you are as a person. I’ve consumed a lot of your content over the years and so I feel like I know you pretty well at this point, but when I presented one of your videos to a friend I could see his hesitancy in watching your content, specifically the “This new study makes women look so bad” video. I know the title and video image is a tactic to get more clicks and views, which is great I would never judge you using what works for the YouTube algorithm, but I’m sure there are audiences that judge you for that and don’t see the man behind the community. I understand your more of a student of evolutionary biology, but the stigma of red pill surely follows you around. I’m not sure on the policy for sharing Patreon videos or if it’s even possible at all, but that last one or two minutes are so wholesome that I feel everyone needs access to that message/sentiment, but then again we are your Patreon supporters so maybe it’s deliberate that you leave it only for us to hear. I’m rambling at this point but I’m sure you get the point.

Kevin Pereira

The main take away for me from this video is how to put up boundaries in general. The practical advice you gave about putting up the boundary but then immediately saying "what is going on with you" is really good advice that I will try to apply to my relationship. As soon as you said it I actually said out loud "that is really good advice thank you".

Tomer Shamay

But what about shit tests after a woman has rejected you, and you agreed not to pursue anything romantic with her, but are also forced to be around her for other circumstances. At that point shit tests aren't really okay anymore in my opinion.

Hey Alex, would love to see on the Fresh&Fit podcast, they got some good stuff on there