Chapter 1044: "Only When Sorrow Strikes the Heart"

Although Xun Chen and Xu You both had their own thoughts, they had to admit one thing: they both had a strong sense of the bigger picture. Even though they didn’t fully understand Shen Pei’s words, they agreed to them. After all, if something did happen, they wouldn’t have to worry about taking the blame.

"Gongren and Zhou Ping... I also feel there’s something off about them, but so far, they haven’t done anything to betray us. Perhaps their ambitions lie elsewhere," Xu You nodded and said.

Back when Ju Shou was still around, both Xu You and Ju Shou had observed Dong Zhao and Cui Jun. They were indeed intelligent men, but they hadn’t given their all. However, they hadn’t done anything that could be considered a betrayal either. In fact, in critical situations, both had appeared to do their best on the surface.

"Let’s not notify them about this matter, but we also shouldn’t focus too much attention on them. They are both among the most talented in the land. If we watch them too closely, they’ll quickly notice," Xun Chen agreed with Shen Pei’s words, though his advice was slightly more conservative.

"That’s the only way forward," Shen Pei nodded.

Shen Pei also understood the value of Cui Jun and Dong Zhao. He knew that now was definitely not the time to suspect internal problems. Even if there were internal issues, unless they were outright rebellion, they had to work together through this most dangerous period. After surviving it, harsher measures could be considered.

Zhang He and Gao Lan, along with their personal troops, rushed toward Bingzhou. Along the way, there were no checkpoints or generals who dared to challenge them. Thus, the two of them, along with over a thousand men, peacefully reached Yanmen County in Bingzhou.

"Zhen Yi, what should we do now?" Gao Lan said bitterly, looking at the broken city walls and the scattered few soldiers.

"First, we must organize the troops. Nothing is more important than military power. Our lord fell at the hands of Liu Bei. How can we not avenge this?" Zhang He said coldly, his eyes steely.

"But Guan Yu..." Gao Lan’s body trembled slightly. The sight of Guan Yu’s single strike, which shattered the city of Ye, had not only crushed Yuan Shao’s army but also shattered his own confidence as a top general.

"Yuan Bo, are you afraid?" Zhang He’s body also trembled. That brilliant blade of light that seemed to pierce the heavens had haunted him in his dreams ever since the defeat at Ye.

"Aren’t you?" Gao Lan said with a bitter smile.

That single strike had broken Gao Lan’s martial path. The fighting spirit of a warrior had left him. Though his years of training had preserved his internal energy, his blade had lost its sharpness, and his spear was no longer fierce. He no longer deserved to be one of Hebei’s Four Pillars of War.

"I am afraid, but our lord fell at the hands of Liu Bei. How can we let fear stop us from seeking revenge?" Zhang He said as he raised his hand, watching it tremble slightly. "General Yan fell to Guan Yu. General Wen died by Guan Yu’s hand. Our lord was slain by Liu Bei. How can we not avenge such deep hatred?"

"How could we forget the kindness our lord showed us!" Zhang He shouted, as if this firm resolve would help suppress his fear of Guan Yu.

"Our lord..." Gao Lan’s eyes reddened. The death of Yuan Shao had not only shocked them but also filled them with bitterness. This was why, even though Yuan Tan had sidelined them, they bore no resentment.

On the one hand, they needed time to recover from the shock of Guan Yu’s devastating blow. On the other, Yuan Shao’s death had filled both Zhang He and Gao Lan with deep regret over their retreat during the battle. Their guilt over fleeing from Guan Yu’s overwhelming power only plunged them further into despair.

"If only we had pursued, perhaps our lord wouldn’t have died..." This deep self-reproach gnawed at their hearts. Yuan Shao had never wronged them; rather, they had wronged him. Yet Yuan Shao had given them another chance to prove themselves.

"A warrior will die for the one who truly understands him. Since ancient times, the land of Yan and Zhao has been home to many honorable men. They sing bold songs and face death without fear," Zhang He said, echoing the sentiments that kept him and Gao Lan loyal. Yuan Shao had treated them well, and although their mission had failed, he had lived his life with honor. This was why they never wavered in their loyalty.

Had it not been for Yuan Shao’s untimely death, they would have followed him until their last breath.

"Are we to let fear stop us from avenging our lord? General Yan, General Wen, General Ju, Advisor Tian, and Minister Ju are all watching us!" Zhang He’s eyes burned with determination as he stared at Gao Lan.

"I can no longer lift my spear..." Gao Lan said in a low voice, pushing away Zhang He’s hand with his trembling arm.

"Coward!" Zhang He punched Gao Lan in the face, sending him flying tens of meters. Fortunately, Zhang He restrained his strength when he realized Gao Lan hadn’t made any effort to defend himself. Otherwise, with his internal energy suppressed, Gao Lan could have died from that punch.

Gao Lan lay in the sparse, dry grass, staring up at the sky. He hated his own cowardice, but whenever he thought of that brilliant blade, his entire body trembled. Guan Yu was simply too powerful—so strong that it filled him with despair!

Even though he knew there were deeper intrigues involved, Gao Lan was aware that he could never face Guan Yu again. His spirit had been shattered. A warrior should be fearless, but once fear took hold, and once a person lost faith in themselves, it became impossible to fight again.

Zhang He also feared. Seeing his friend lying there, he bitterly walked over. He understood this kind of fear. He, too, was terrified. Even if he did everything in his power to avenge Yuan Shao, he didn’t know how much strength he would have left when he faced Guan Yu.

"Get up," Zhang He extended his hand toward Gao Lan. He could see the lifelessness in Gao Lan’s eyes, and it pained him deeply. His closest brother had become like this after the battle of Ye.

"Zhen Yi, give me some time to calm down," Gao Lan replied, his voice low. "I want revenge, but right now, I don’t even have the strength to lift a blade. I’m no longer the great general of Hebei, Gao Lan. I’m just a useless man."

As he spoke, tears began to stream down Gao Lan’s face. It had been many years since he last cried, but now the pain was too much. He had not only lost the lord who had believed in him, but he had also lost the strength to avenge him.

Here, in the vast plains with no one else around but his friend Zhang He, Gao Lan could no longer suppress the anguish in his heart.

As Zhang He had said, Gao Lan was a coward—a coward who couldn’t even avenge his lord. Why had such a coward survived? Why hadn’t the heavens let him die before his lord’s horse? Why had this coward been allowed to live? Why?

Tears flowed from Gao Lan’s eyes as he wrestled with his pain. It is said that a man sheds no tears until he reaches the depths of sorrow.

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