My official apology

Okay, so this is just to document how truly difficult singing is for me at times. When it's just me and Oscar,  it's completely different. 

He gives me hope, that if I can sing for him I'll one day be able to sing so freely for you.

This is a funny confession, but more and more frequently these days I find myself really liking my singing of Oscar's bedtime songs. I'll sing the last note, give him a kiss, turn out the light and think to myself, "Dang, that was actually pretty good! Too bad there's not a hidden camera in here so I can show Patreon!!"

I think if I were to go into the studio today, get nice and warmed up, and take a stab at Ceiling Fan Song, you'd hear some improvement from the one I recorded before.

But I really want to get going on the singing course again and get a lot better, to really do what I'm going for there. My early violin playing was up and down and just as terrible for the first  several years, so I think of that, and believe I can do this with time!

This experience of trying to sing for you here reminds me of last time I tried karaoke. That was probably ten years ago if that tells you anything.... 

A memory I think I had blocked out ha!!

Oh my gosh, it was so bad. My friend Taylor, who you now may know as the costume queen, was there. I didn't even know she could sing, but all of a sudden she's busting out Rhianna songs. I was blown away!

I was ready to be silly and have some fun, but I'm not really up on most pop music. Optimistically, I flipped through a laminated paper book the size of a Gutenburg Bible with miles of songs I don't know. So when I recognized Simon and Garfunkle's Scarborough Faire it seemed like a great idea, "Oh, this will be funny, easy, and somewhat on brand for me..."

Then the song kicks in and it's just so painfully slow sounding compared to the other up beat songs everyone else was doing,  that I think the sheer contrast in energy made everyone look up from their bubbly drinks confused about what is happening. 

And then it's time to sing and I realize it's pitched for a male voice, so for me to sing it I have to  go an octave UP and well.....

I'd say you have to imagine what that sounded like, but actually you don't have to, because it was exactly like this video I'm sending to you today!

Oh my gosh.... I'm blushing right now and my heart is still racing from trying to sing. It's my biggest fear. So I just have thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this corner of the internet where I can truly be myself and grow at my own pace. 

Maybe the children's album we produce here will have to feature my redemption performance of Scarborough Faire to bring this full circle.... 

(Or a rocking Rhianna style rendition of Edelweiss?????)

Much love!
Jenny