Joe Bob’s Thought of the Day: Morbid Edition

Going into debt because a loved one died is absolutely horrendous. The funerary industry is horrible and predatory. I was gonna go to college for Mortuary Science and then saw how they manipulate the grieving into paying tens of thousands of dollars for a simple funeral with their "cheapest" coffin from the same catalogue that every Funeral Home has. spoiler they're all owned by a gigantic conglomerate. It is super rare to find an actual family run funerary business. Turned me off of going into that field completely. Your best bet is to find a Jewish coffin maker and you've got yourself an all wood, completely biodegradable coffin. Typically they cost less than 1000 and you can just let yourself become one with the Earth. Cheap comparatively and the coffins comply with all laws that come with the disposal of human remains. That's another thing that turned me off the job completely, the never ending laws about literally every part of the process. Also, embalming fluid is a scam and poisonous not only for the mortician but for the planet. Sidenote: One of my favorite David Cross jokes is about this. His whole thing was something like, "Throw my body to the necrophiliacs. It's not like I'm gonna care or even be there. Let them have their fun." Not an exact quote, but there you go.

Where is Norman Bates when we need him!!! There is always Taxidermy baby or what about getting paid before we’re dead for being a Skeletal Extra for horror movies?

Jason O'Keefe

I assumed you were going to be placed in a glass coffin like Lenin and driven in a hearse by Darcy, to lie in state at each remaining drive-in across the nation, where you’d be used as a tasteless marketing gimmick like “Hitler’s Death Car”.

Mr Trick

Do a Native American thing, just walk off to the West and let nature happen. I'm in South Dakota, that's my plan

Tony (asmoody)

Was he at a Dragula set.. that coffin entrance!

County is good enough for me...

Timothy Crawford

Yeah, we are all right there with you, JB. I never understood our obsession with making death expensive. If you want to make an ornate headstone, okay -- that's more for your loved ones anyway, but expensive coffins??? How does that make any sense whatsoever?

I guess I could do the boat but I would have to find somebody able to shoot an arrow and hit the damn boat.

i love joe bobs train of thought. even when you're dead its gonna cost you more than you wanna or should have to pay.

you could try the Other viking funeral. put your ass in a car , set it on fire , and have it drive off the cliff haha

I checked on a Viking bonfire to cremate my ass... surprisingly the laws in this country won't allow you to barbecue your loved ones on a pile of wood. Who would've thought?

Clearly, the best way of disposal after gone is being fired from a cannon. Pick a direction. I'll land eventually. 😂

Since we're discussing our own preferences, I offer this scene from S.O.B. with the late, great Larry Storch. The =real= funeral starts at1 minute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jIaPO0UliU

Moviegique

I want my body laid out on restaurant a salad bar. That way people can grab a few carrots sticks, or make a budget restaurant salad with croutons and everything. The ice will keep me cold - no worries about decomposition. After that I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a Taco Bell parking lot. I absolutely do not want a headstone or a grave marker of any sort.