haha what up

So last week was kind of a rollercoaster for me, which led to a lot of me thinking about what I'm doing with my writing, how I feel about where I'm going with it, personal shit, all sorts of stuff. To make clear what happened, I'm bipolar, and whenever I'm down, I have a harder time getting work done, focusing on creative stuff, and end up falling behind. When I have PMS, lately it gets so intense that I feel like I can't work, like everyone hates everything I do, like I'm wasting my time, and I just so happened to have a low point meet really bad PMS last week.

Which led to me wanting to quit everything forever, and getting really irrationally upset about my writing, and then I had something happen externally that was exacerbated by my intense emotions, and then on Friday I woke up feeling fine and I'm good now. Plans of hiatus are not going to come to pass. I am still considering saving up some money so I can afford to take time off at the drop of a hat, but never anything that would effect fanbox commissions, so fanbox is staying up. All of that was just me being really, really out of it for several days.

But talk of writing less personal fics or doing less polls on here is pretty much set in stone. I know that being a member gives you voting privileges, and I understand if anyone wants to drop over this. I'm not going to do monthly polls, and my fics are gonna just be whatever I feel like doing, if I feel like doing anything. I'd like to say that I'm still going to do at least one fic a month, but if I'm just doing whatever's on my mind, there's always a chance of me hitting a low point and blowing it off. I don't think most of you are here for polls or early access anyway; if I get more lower tier boxfans in the future, I'll get back to putting more out like that, but for right now, the amount i make from non-commission pledges doesn't really equal the amount of time that could be spent on commissions.

I do plan to start taking something that should help my PMS symptoms. I used to get really bad cramps that put me out of commission, but now I get these mood swings that really fuck with me, and I know I can't keep living like that, if I'm gonna need a week out of every three weeks to hole up in my room and cry over how much I've imagined everyone hates me. So, hopefully that is going to help prevent this in the future!

Anyway, that is the deal with all of that, sorry for concerning everyone if I did. The changes to polls will start with January stuff, so there will be no poll next month besides the contest one, which I'll have a question about on discord soon cos I realized a flaw in the plan.

Don't forget to enter that giveaway before the month ends.