Update 08/19/2020 - Recovering but with a Headache

Hey guys, I hope you are doing ok and staying safe. 

So for those who don't live where I do, we've recently gone  into a second lockdown due to a surge of  COVID-19 cases. It's only going to be for two weeks and as a result my work has shut down yet again until further notice.  I'll be ok, I'm still receiving PUA assistance and I'm still getting paid for this week too so I'm financially ok.

As for my mental health, well I've been able to handle stress and feelings of annoyance better. I've been able to gather my composure better in stressful situations. Somewhat. 

For those who don't know, my nephew is going through his terrible twos so he's been throwing a lot of tantrums. I try very hard not to yell at him or scare him because that's not how you raise a child. I do raise my voice and tell him why it's not ok to do certain things like spill powder or juice. Or play with the broom or spit up food There have been times where he tries my patience...ALOT...but with no work this week it makes babysitting more bearable.  

Onto things that still really annoy me, my mom is asking me to buy her things even though she has her own money. She wants me to buy her a new stove but I keep telling her no.  I get it she wants to move into our new house but the answer is still no. And it just frustrates me that she has not paid me back my $3,000 yet. Even though she had a great deal of money before and now I hear she is running low again. That is her problem. I get she's been spending it on supplies for the house but I do not want to buy her anything else till I'm paid. And it makes me so angry. I've been covering for her so many times and I'm tired of it. There are still times where I want to scream at her. I shouldn't go into too much detail but for those who know Filipino parents...sometimes they will not take no for an answer and it's like you offended them.

On another note, I kind of did something unwise. I looked into the comment section of my local newspaper. Now for those who don't know I live in a somewhat conservative island so there are A LOT of stupid people who will infuriate you. 

Not only do we have people who are very VERY classicist, homophobic, sexist, or even openly  racist, we also have a lot of people who shame others for seeking financial assistance, who think poor people are lazy, who have a very very very out of touch and malformed idea of the economy, what really causes poverty and violence, about the rich, where tax dollars actually go every year, the job market or even this freakin pandemic. Just a lot of really, really stupid, infuriating people with garbage opinions.

Made worse by the fact a lot of ex-friends of mine are moderates who think neutrality is wisdom, it is not and that's how people like Trump get elected. 

However, I've been told by many wonderful people that it's not my job to be concerned about those kind of  people or to educate them. The best I can do is educate those who I can, keep myself educated, be as insufferably progressive as I can and vote this coming election. BTW is soon guys so remember to register to vote and vote Orange Hitler out! 

Sorry this update came off as more of a rant than an actual update guys.  I've also been dealing with a headache all day, even at the moment I'm a bit light headed as I write this. I've also been doing errands all day while my mom helps watch my nephew.  My depression does flare up from time to time but I've been able to manage it better. Hopefully I should be better by the end of the month. 

Sorry I haven't been posting stuff as often. Just been busy taking care of the little one and trying not to fall over from a headache. Perhaps I just need to get more sleep this week. 

But thanks again to everyone who was concerned for me, thank you to everyone who have been talking with me and keeping me leveled and sane. And above all happy. 

I love you guys 

Thanks goodness for Jeff Dunham on Netflix and Trevor Noah and the Daily Show...