25/02/2020- Sketch Dump (??)
Added 2020-02-26 01:52:46 +0000 UTCI’ve come to realize that I... REALLY suck at working on things that aren’t my personal projects. Things for other people if that makes sense. Like, I’m supposed to do some coloring work for my internship, coloring some comic pages and stuff of content that isn’t mine, and Lord it has been so hard to get myself to be focused and invested in the work. Like, I am literally resisting so hard even tho I’m trying with my all to do it. And worse yet, normally when I do start working, I lose myself in the work and it’s Gucci! But with the coloring comic page thing, it feels... almost agonizing? The time I spend on the pages does not zoom by, it crawls by and it just... AAAA It makes me feel like my brain is being torn apart. When it’s my characters or story or whatever I can lose myself in the work (presumably because I am my own creative director so I do what makes me happy) but when it’s someone else’s (where I have to really be careful if what I’m doing will be liked or not) it gets SO hard. And I really don’t like that I’m like that cos I do want to be able to work and just do the thing but I find it SO HARDDDDDD
TLDR I procrastinated the whole of yesterday because I do not want to color comic pages. I really don’t wanna but it’s also kind of my job yk? So it takes so much to force myself to do one tiny page and it makes me feel.... HELLA guilty that I can’t just... DO the thang you know?
