About me: Depression
Added 2020-08-03 14:10:30 +0000 UTCHey let's talk about something fun! Like horrible crippling depression!
I've had a history of depression all of my life. The kind where there's nothing new or special causing it, but it just happens - you just start feeling horrible and don't know how to pull yourself out of it. Then something else happens and you're okay for a while.
I feel like creating is a double-edged sword when it comes to depression. When you're doing good - you release something you're proud of, you get good feedback on your work, you have a new idea you're excited about - you feel great. It's the best feeling in the world. But when you're not doing so great - you're worried about something you're working on, you're not super-happy with a piece of work, or you worry that nobody is going to care about it - it just makes your heart sink and feels like you're entire life is a waste.
So the last week was a sort of up-and-down roller coaster. I felt a huge high after finishing all the animations for the game, but then the few days after that I've felt very down. Not just from creative aspects - there's been other things going on in my life as well - my truck is continuing to give me problems, my mom is getting to the point where she can't take care of herself, money is always a stresser, this damn corona virus won't ever go away, my country is a wreck, everybody hates each other.
So yeah, I'm just feeling a little down and thought that I would share that with you all. I hope you're okay with that? I didn't work on the game over the weekend much, except for running renders, and I'm hoping that getting back to work on it today will cheer me up some.
I hope you all are doing great. Love you and thank you.
