RJ Ramblings
Added 2023-02-20 15:00:49 +0000 UTCI've been sitting in my chair staring at the screen for a while, trying to think of something to talk about. Sometimes talking about myself is tough, because I want to be open with you all, so you see me as a real person. But I also don't want to be TOO open with you all, especially about negative things, because I know that it can be off-putting to have a creator constantly complain about things when you're just here to play a silly porn game.
Cue the cavalcade of people saying that they want me to be open and complain as much as I want. I know. I see you guys and love you for it.
I don't know why that's in my head right now. I don't really even have much to complain about at the moment. I'm pretty happy, if a little stressed this week. This week is my partner's birthday and her family is coming to visit. I also have the beta release on Friday, which is always a little stressful, because I have to make sure that all the files are up and working and hoping that all these new people playing the update that I've been working on for 4 months will love it. Also, my taxes On top of that, I have a doctors appointment (nothing serious) and my oven suddenly went out, so I'm having to deal with that. They're supposed to be installing a new oven on Thursday.
So things have been a bit stressful, but I'm doing okay. Still enjoying working. Been playing games in the afternoon. Making my way through Dead Space still, and playing several other games when I get the chance. I've been enjoying Watch Dogs right now - a game that I've played before, but never finished. I kinda wanted to finish it and check out the sequels.
I have not been working out and exercising like I should. I've really fallen off that hard. Haven't touched my bike or gone hiking in many weeks. My anxiety has also gotten worse than it's been in a long time. I've been having a hard time going out anywhere without feeling very anxious. Which is part of the reason I suddenly stopped hiking. The last time I went, I felt very uncomfortable, not for any specific reason, but by the end of the hike, I was having a hard time breathing, due to the anxiety.
But I have to do something. I don't want to gain more weight. I can't just sit at a computer all day.
Anyway, that's what I got. I'm feeling a mix of a lot of things right now, my mind is a little scattered and it's been hard for me to concentrate. But I'm still happy and working and doing my best.
I hope that you all are doing great and have an amazing week. Thanks for being there for me. Love ya!
Comments
Hey RJ I hope you don't mind me putting my 2 cents in but I am just a old country boy, and am by no means a professional in the state of someones mind, but I believe that if you are unhappy about something the best way to fix it is to get up off of your butt and do something about it! I love to get out and go hiking especially in new places, its a very soothing feeling being out in the woods away from the hustle and bustle of everyday activities, plus good for you too. I can't even imagine the pressure you put yourself under telling folks when the next update on a game will be then working your ass off to try and meet those deadlines. Don't get me wrong I love your game and am one of those that can't wait to see whats next, but you gotta take care of you and your loved ones too, so take time to get out there and take care of yourself as well as you loved ones first.
Donald Shook
2023-02-26 04:22:24 +0000 UTCStrangely, maybe, but I always feel uplifted when I read about your personal life. It affirms that things that are happening in your life seem to fall on all of us, from time to time. I sit here wishing you less troubles and more happy times, and you are the only Dev I would go out of my way to give a supportive hug, as often as you might need one. And I love hearing about the good times, and the not-so-good times, and appreciate you for the amount you share.
Paul Newmon
2023-02-22 00:37:49 +0000 UTCGlad to hear that you are not feeling depressed! I hope you'll feel better soon.
Lexstok
2023-02-21 07:37:34 +0000 UTCThe walking/biking is pretty important. Not just for the weight loss but it also helps with mental health (anxiety/depression type things). The formula of the more you do, the more you can do comes with the reverse which is the less you do, the less you can do. Remember to take care of yourself and your loved one(s) first. The rest will follow.
Maruad
2023-02-20 17:45:28 +0000 UTCSending out hugs to you. Find your own speed and balance with all that stuff and rely on your inner circle or supportive community. And if you decide to cut back on those posts or what you talk about there, it's fine. In my mind those posts are mainly for you to get things of your chest and only ever share stuff you're comfortable with and if you stop it all together it's fine, too. The people who appreciate you as a person, will keep doing that and the other ones aren't as important (at least in this circumstance). I like those posts but only if your comfortable with in posting those and not because you think that you have to. Your well being is more important than a post on patreon and you are nontheless one of the most open devs out there, which I love because it's easier for me to be invested in this game or your future games.
Jawys
2023-02-20 17:06:03 +0000 UTCI totally get what you're saying about finding that sharing balance, though at the same time I think anyone who takes the time to go on Patreon and read your Ramblings knows what they're getting, and the people just interested in the game and screenshots won't bother with it anyway. (There are creators whose content I just enjoy without ever reading their blog entries or off-topic videos that start with "Hey everybody..." It doesn't adversely impact my opinion of their content, but we all pick and choose which people we're invested in, which sounds weird when I put it that way, but my point(?) is, to quote Dr. Seuss, "the people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.")
Troy B.
2023-02-20 15:55:36 +0000 UTCThat's how I am normally, see-sawing, but I honestly don't feel depressed and haven't for a while now. Just stressed and anxious :)
R.J. Rhodes
2023-02-20 15:29:41 +0000 UTCReading this, it feels like you are on a see-saw (correct term?) of emotions. Going between feeling great for a time, and then feeling depressed for a time and then great and then depressed, etc.
Lexstok
2023-02-20 15:11:35 +0000 UTC
